Author's Note:
Thank you so much to the 3 who have reviewed: TeamCullenGuys, MyBeautifulBella, and dsfe. You have no idea how encouraging that is! It's so nice to know someone's reading this. :)
Chapter 3 - La Push
If Jacob was trying to make me feel even more indebted for life to him than I already was, he succeeded in a big way when he intercepted Charlie and went to bat for me. For one thing, if there was anybody Charlie was more irritated at than me at the moment, it was Jacob. Well, other than Edward of course. But that was a completely different story. Other than an initial glare, Charlie refused to acknowledge the entire Cullen family. Ignoring the Cullens was sort of becoming a Swan family trademark in the last hour.
After Charlie tried to bear-hug the life out of me while simultaneously threatening to kill me, Jacob managed to pull him off to the side. I could hear him trying to sell Charlie on the idea of letting me leave with him and come stay at La Push with him and Billy for a while. I was fairly certain it wasn't going to work, because I could also hear Charlie questioning Jacob's sanity if he thought for one second that I was going anywhere other than straight home for the rest of my life under Charlie's watchful eye.
I'm pretty sure that Edward didn't actually intend to help Jacob's cause. If he had had blood in his body, he was so furious that it would have been boiling during my entire exchange with Jacob. His brothers still each held an arm, although after Charlie arrived he relaxed a little and stopped actively trying to break free and get to me...at least until he also heard Jacob angling for me to come stay with him.
He almost succeeded in ripping his arms out of Jasper and Emmett's grasps, and his voice was so fierce that I feared Charlie would realize he wasn't entirely normal.
"NO! She's not going anywhere with that dog! Bella!" I turned in his direction, wide eyed, defensiveness for Jacob instantly welling up within me. Jacob, after all, wasn't the one who had left me and hurt me. My mouth opened to angrily ask Edward exactly when he started caring about who I spent my time with...but Charlie beat me to the punch.
"And you don't tell me what to do about my own daughter," Charlie thundered, pointing a threatening finger in Edward's direction. "Jacob saved her life after you left her, so you can keep the name calling to yourself." His eyes flashed murderously at Edward before flicking back to Jacob in obvious thought, and I realized there was some hope of my leaving with Jake after all.
"In fact..." Charlie started, and I could see parental responsibility warring with the urge to prove a point to the selfish punk that had hurt his daughter. All he needed was a good reason - a fact which Jacob picked up on immediately and took full advantage of.
"At least let me drive her home, Charlie. She's exhausted. I'm sure you have some things to say to the Cullens, and Bella doesn't need to be here for that. I'll take her to Billy's, and you can meet us back there. You know I won't let her out of my sight." Since when could Jacob sound so grown up? Sam's influence came out in him more and more, and I wasn't usually sure how well I liked it. But at this exact moment, I wouldn't have traded it for anything.
Charlie's eyes narrowed as they flashed over to the Cullens, and I knew I had won...well, Jacob had won. Charlie definitely relished the idea of having a chance to give Edward or at least Carlisle a piece of his mind without my interference. "I've got to do something about these tickets anyway."
Edward looked more desperate by the second, but not to avoid Charlie. Mine and Jacob's plan seemed to be terrifying to him. "No! Bella, listen to me, you can't do this! It's not safe!"
Edward's final outburst just cemented it. "Here." Charlie reached in his pocket, and made sure Edward saw him flip the keys to Jacob. Turning to me, he gave me a very stern look. "Jacob picked me up in Billy's truck anyway, so I may as well let him drive it back home. I'll find my own way back to Forks. But I'm coming straight to La Push to get you when I get home, Bella. And then we're going to have a long talk."
I managed to nod, desperate not to do anything to make him change his mind. It felt like my survival depended on leaving with Jacob. "I'll behave, Dad. I'm not going anywhere until you get there."
Charlie glowered at me. "You're sure as hell not."
Carlisle stepped away from Edward toward Charlie, hands held out in a conciliatory gesture, obviously trying to bridge the gap between the Swan and Cullen families. "Chief Swan, our family arrived in separate vehicles. My wife and I would be glad to give you a ride back to Forks."
I think Charlie might have turned that down too, but again Edward did little to help his own cause.
"Carlisle, have you gone mad?" Edward raved, again pulling against his brother's arms. Alice had stepped in to take Carlisle's place pushing him backward and trying to settle him down. "You're going to go along with this? Have you lost your mind? You know what kind of danger she'll be in from that..."
"Son! Enough." Carlisle's face was menacing, enough to scare a human half to death. I watched Charlie closely, but he just seemed somewhat pacified to see Edward getting in trouble. But then, I suspect that if Carlisle had ripped Edward limb from limb right there in the middle of the airport, Charlie might have just applauded. "We'll discuss this at home," Carlisle continued authoritatively, like an angry dad. Taking a step closer to his son, he lowered his voice and spoke less angrily but I still heard him - which I knew meant that he wanted me to hear. "You're making a spectacle of yourself, Edward. Considering the terms upon which you were both allowed to go free, don't you think that's equally as unsafe for her?"
My eyes widened...the Volturi. Carlisle was afraid Edward would do something to bring them all down on us. The thought of them in Seattle, or anywhere else close to people that I knew and loved, was enough to make me shudder.
Edward must have agreed. He closed his mouth, but he continued to stare with pure hatred at Jacob. I knew that if either Jasper or Emmett let go at all, Edward would be free of them in a heartbeat and invading my personal space again - and that Jacob wouldn't take that very kindly.
"Come on, Bells." Now that his terror for my safety was over and he had won a victory, Jacob was the happy-go-lucky if somewhat arrogant 16-year-old that I knew. His face was more than a little smug at my 'choosing' him over Edward, and he took just a little too much delight in throwing his arm over my shoulder and tugging me up close to his side. "Let's get you back to my place." That choice of words and accompanying smirk had definitely been for Edward's benefit. If it hadn't have been such an intense situation, I'd have rolled my eyes. At least he wasn't in wolf form. He might have tried to pee on me.
Edward didn't find the exchange quite so trivial. He growled, right in the middle of a public airport. He actually growled.
Carlisle looked as though his patience was wearing very, very thin. "Jasper, Emmett, get him out of here and take him home. Now. Rosalie and Alice will go with you. Esme and I will wait with Chief Swan and take him to his house."
"Bella!" Edward made one last ditch effort as his brothers started to drag him off, and it suddenly hit me...this was the last time I would ever see him.
"Wait!" I called, unsure if I was talking to Jacob, Edward, Jasper and Emmett, or possibly even myself.
Shrugging out from under Jacob's arm, I turned to look back at Edward. Jasper and Emmett must have assumed I was talking to them, so they stopped long enough to let us talk. I barely even noticed them. Suddenly the only person in the entire room was Edward, so far as I was concerned. Every other sight and sound melted away and all I could see or hear was him. My breath caught in my throat, and the hole in my chest ripped a little wider. It made me wish I hadn't pushed Jacob's arm away. I needed him close to get through this, but either way I couldn't let my last words to Edward be ones of anger. Steeling myself, I just let myself be honest.
"You don't have to apologize or feel guilty, Edward," I told him through a throat that was so tight I felt like I was choking on the words. "I don't hold you responsible for anything. It was..." I couldn't even find the words. "It was wonderful to see you again," I settled for telling him softly around the lump in my throat.
Grabbing, threatening, and losing his temper hadn't worked, so Edward tried soft pleading. "Bella...Bella, please don't go - not like this. Not with him. You don't understand. Please just stay and let me talk to you. I promise I won't touch you. I just want to talk to you, Bella, I need you to understand..."
Charlie looked like he couldn't decide whether to draw his gun or vomit. "Oh for God's... just get her the hell out of here, Jacob," he said with more venom than I've ever heard from my laidback father.
And Jacob was more than happy to do so. He very strongly wrapped his arm back around my shoulder and pulled my resistant body away with him, as I struggled to look back over my shoulder and catch just one more glimpse of the haunted, tortured eyes of a man who claimed he loved me but had done everything possible to prove otherwise over the past seven months.
ooo
I remembered very little between that terminal and Billy's truck. I'm pretty sure that at some point I went completely catatonic and Jacob picked me up and simply carried me.
I also have very little memory of the drive from the airport to La Push. I know that Jacob set me down in the passenger seat, but that before he even had the truck cranked I was practically in his lap in the middle of the truck, with my face buried in his warm, huge shoulder.
His initial panic and then his smugness with Edward had both subsided, and it was my Jacob who was behind the wheel of the truck. As I clung to him trembling, the tears finally came and I could finally let them go. His right arm wrapped tight around me, his head leaning down to rest his cheek on top of my head. Concern filled his voice, and for just a minute all of his bravado in the airport was gone and he sounded all of his 16 years: like a scared kid trying to be a man.
"Aw, come on, Bells, please don't cry."
I just sobbed harder, my fingers gripping his t-shirt so tightly that it bunched up just above the waist of his jeans. He swallowed so hard that I actually heard it, even more concern flooding his voice as he spoke.
"What happened over there?" he whispered, more to himself than me. "Bella?" he finally asked, his lips moving in my hair. "Come on, you're kind of scaring me. Are you okay? Please talk to me."
A long moment passed as I got my sobs under control, and I focused on the way Jacob's breathing seemed unsteady. He truly was scared for me, I realized. Finally, I managed to nod into his shoulder. "I'm fine. I'm not hurt. But please, Jacob, I don't want to talk about it."
I felt him nod in return against my head. He seemed to be struggling for what to say. "Then what do you want?" he asked gently.
"I don't care. Just talk to me. About anything."
That was one thing I loved about Jacob. He didn't ask me any more questions about that. He just started driving and did exactly what I asked. In fact, I didn't say another word all the way to La Push, and I didn't have to. I didn't have to think, either, about Edward or anything else. I just lost myself in Jacob's rich voice, listening to him tell me 100 different things about the Rabbit, Quil and Embry's latest bets, Paul's most recent losses of control and even some of the Quileute legends I'd yet to hear. He didn't say a thing about Victoria or vampires, for which I was eternally grateful. We both knew I was safe from Victoria in Jacob's presence, so there was nothing to say.
When he finally stopped the truck outside his house and opened the driver's door, I grabbed hold of him a little tighter and whimpered in protest. He gave a soft chuckle at that. "Oh, Bells. I'm not sure what to do with you like this."
It seemed pretty simple to me. "Just don't let me go."
Jacob was so still for so long that I eventually looked up to see him. He seemed to be fighting a battle with himself, and for one horrifying second I thought he was going to try to kiss me. There was no part of me that could deal with that at the moment, and it seemed that he realized that. He looked away and cleared his throat, and when he looked back at me his eyes and voice were both completely serious, hinting at a deeper meaning to his simple reply:
"I won't."
Taking me completely at my word, Jacob took me with him when he slid out of the driver's door. Swinging me right up into his arms before my feet ever touched the ground, he made his way for the front door.
"What's Billy going to think?" I managed to mutter into his shoulder. The little bit of sleep I'd had on the plane was wearing off, and exhaustion was beginning to creep back in.
"He's going to think he's glad you're alive. And that he's glad to see his truck. I kind of stole it." There was a grin in Jacob's voice.
"Does he know?" I wasn't talking about the truck.
"Yeah, Bell. He knows everything. If he had the money, he'd have given it to me himself. For Charlie's sake. And yours."
"What's he going to think about me staying here with you?"
Another soft chuckle. "So long as he doesn't get an ear full from Charlie about it? He'll probably just be trying to figure out how to high-five me without you seeing. And then he'll threaten to kick my ass if I try anything. Billy adores you."
I was starting to shiver, despite Jake's warm body and the fact that it wasn't really that cold outside. My voice quivered as badly as my body. "I'm glad you didn't end up selling the Rabbit, Jake. I'm glad it wasn't enough money."
His arms tightened on me, and he paused in front of the front door of the house for a second, not wanting to let go of me long enough to open it.
"It's just a car, Bella. It's not that special."
Somehow, I missed the implication of that completely. "Yeah, but you love it."
"Yeah, of course I do, but...Bella, I..."
Jacob hesitated, drew a deep shaky breath, and I panicked. Suddenly I knew exactly what he had just meant and how he intended to reply, and I just couldn't let him go there. "We should go in, Jake."
He exhaled just as shakily as he had inhaled. "Right."
ooo
It turned out Jacob was right. Billy was very relieved to see me...and his truck. He was also thrilled at the idea of me staying there, for however short a time. He even promised to find a way to keep Charlie busy at the house for a while so I could stay longer. I knew, of course, that Billy and Jake both liked the idea of me being somewhere the Cullens couldn't go. Normally that would have irritated me...but at the moment, that was one of the best qualities of Billy, Jacob, and La Push.
Neither of them could know exactly how badly I wanted to stay. If I went home and Edward came to my room to tell me all the reasons he was disappearing again, I might never recover. I just couldn't face that thought. I'd rather keep my head buried in the sandy beaches of La Push, or better yet in Jacob's strong chest. So long as I was here, Edward didn't exist. And if he didn't exist, I couldn't know when he left. He couldn't hurt me any more.
I could barely stand to break contact with Jacob. In some part of my brain it registered just how very badly I was leading him on. But I couldn't help it. I needed him to hold me together. And I suspected that one day, no matter how inconceivable it felt to me at the time, Jacob would be the one to put me back together in every way there was anyway. I knew now that Edward wouldn't stay forever. I had to start thinking about my future without him.
I could hear Billy's repeated whispers to Jacob that I was in shock, but I disagreed. I was simply trying to stop the numbness from coming back.
Muttering something about hoping Charlie left his gun at home, Jacob finally gave up on trying to get me settled and then leave my side. He ended up crawling right into his tiny little bed with me, wrapping my shivering body and his overly warm one up in a light blanket and spooning me tightly against him as I went to sleep.
ooo
The doorbell woke me up several hours later when Charlie arrived at the Black home, followed by mumbles from Charlie's characteristically quiet voice and Billy's suddenly very loud one. Vaguely, I was aware that Billy was stalling him and warning us. I tried to spring up, but Jacob's arm only tightened around my middle as footsteps approached the room. I was fully awake and aware by the time Charlie reached the door, but Jacob seemed determined that I was staying put. So I did what any 18-year-old girl would do knowing her dad was about to find her in bed with her opposite-sex friend: I pretended I was still sound asleep.
Charlie almost did blow a gasket when he initially walked into Jake's room; but Billy handled him like a pro, proving that maybe some of Jake's perfect performance at the airport earlier was less related to Sam and more related to genetics.
"She was in a bad way when they got here, Charlie. Hysterical. And I've never seen anybody shiver like that. It's a good thing Jake was here."
I knew full well Jacob wasn't asleep anymore either, but he seemed to agree that pretending to be was the best way to go. His light 'snore' in my ear was so ridiculous that it almost made me want to giggle. Maybe I was still hysterical.
"Did he really have to put her in bed with him?"
"That was my idea," Billy soothed. "It seemed like she needed to get warm and nothing else worked. Door's been open, and I sat with them until they both fell asleep. Don't you trust me, Charlie?"
Apparently it wasn't just pixie-like vampires that could work magic on Charlie. Sly old Quileute elders in wheelchairs could play him too. He deflated like a popped balloon. "Of course I do. I trust Jake too. You know that." He sighed heavily. "I just haven't seen her in three days, Billy. I'm a little on edge. She scared the hell out of me."
I could picture Billy nodding. "She's been through a lot, Charlie. I worry about her." After a slight hesitation, Billy quickly climbed to near the very top of my 'favorite people' list, even if I knew his sole motivation was still keeping me away from the Cullens. For the moment, our interests were aligned on that topic. "You know, I realize you're upset with her, but she seems kind of fragile right now. And she's at ease here. I wouldn't want to overstep, but she's welcome to stay as long as she likes. I'll look out for her, Charlie. She's safe here."
Charlie took forever to answer, but I somehow managed not to give myself away by peeking. "Maybe just for tonight," Charlie agreed reluctantly. "I hate to wake her up, and to be honest I don't have a clue yet what to say to her." He sighed so heavily that a lump formed in my throat. "I really just want my little girl back."
Billy made a sympathetic noise, and I heard a sound that was probably his hand slapping Charlie on the back. "For what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing. She's a teenager, after all. If you come down on her too hard, she'll just take off again. I'll take good care of her, I promise." There was a brief pause, and I could feel Charlie staring a hole through me and Jake again. Sure enough, Billy handled that too. "As soon as I hear either one of them move the first time, I'll kick Jake out and make him sleep on the couch."
Charlie sighed again, this time in resignation. "Yeah, you do that." A long moment passed where I couldn't hear anything, but I could feel Charlie's eyes burning into me. Finally, he spoke again, and his choked up voice caused an answering lump to form in my throat. "I'll be back tomorrow morning. Tell her..." Charlie was silent for a moment. "Just tell her...well, never mind."
No sooner had the front door closed behind Charlie than Billy's voice called down the hall. "I gave my word and I intend to keep it. So you better not let me hear either of you move." I could hear his wheelchair rolling to the door, and then Jake's bedroom door was pulled closed. Without a second thought, I rolled over to face Jacob and buried my face in his chest before falling back into a dreamless sleep.
ooo
Charlie didn't make it back the next morning. He got called to a car crash with a fatality first thing in the morning, and the investigation took up the better part of the day. Paperwork took up the rest. And Billy's smooth talking convinced Charlie maybe it was all for the best and he should give me another day to recover before he swooped in to start my punishment.
With Billy working Charlie and with the help of some other well-timed police business, I managed to spend two full days almost completely attached to Jacob. When he would leave my side for even a minute, the darkness would start to close in. I even started feeling a little more charitable toward Sam Uley, whom I was sure was giving Jacob a break by letting him stay home to babysit me.
Eventually, I stopped seeing the faces of the people in that tunnel in Volterra every single time I closed my eyes. But nothing could make me stop desperately looking for Edward's face every time I woke up, and then immediately falling apart when he wasn't there. To my surprise and relief, Jacob graciously didn't say one bitter word about that part, even though I know he knew who I was looking for every time I jolted awake and he also knew who my tears were for. He just wrapped his arms tighter around me and rested his chin on top of my head every single time, whispering Jacob-like reassuring nonsense until my heartrate slowed and the tears stopped. By the second morning, I started to feel a little better. My Jacob immersion program was working.
Late that second evening, Billy warned us that Charlie was on his way to come get me. Billy had some type of sports DVD up his sleeve to stall him with, but Jake and I took the hint and got out of the house. If Billy had time to stall Charlie and get him good and relaxed before Jake and I showed back up, he'd stay to visit for a while and I'd at least get to stay that much longer.
Jacob held my hand firmly in his as we walked along the familiar beach. When the shivers started again, he wrapped his arm around my waist and held me close as we walked. When the tears came, he gave up on the walking altogether and just dropped down and pulled me onto his lap right there in the wet sand.
"I don't want to go home," were the first tearful words I managed, feeling like a 5-year-old.
"You won't be alone for long, Bells," Jake promised. "Every single chance I get, I'll be there. Charlie doesn't even have to know."
I flinched at that unintentional reminder of Edward. Jacob misinterpreted completely, barking out an amused laugh. "Oh, come on. Give me some credit, Bella. I managed to get you over here to La Push with me, didn't I? I won't get caught. And it's not like you're going to get more grounded even if I do."
Rather than attempt an answer, I just buried my head deeper in his shoulder and held on for dear life. This time he got the picture completely, and with a sigh hitched me back up higher against his chest from where I had slid down some. He had become accustomed to this type of behavior over the last 48 hours, and it crossed my mind that he had to be exhausted. His voice was hard when he spoke into my hair.
"Treaty or not, if he comes near you again I think I'm going to kill him."
If I'd really thought there was any chance of that happening - Edward coming near me again, that is - Jacob's words would have horrified me. But since Edward was probably already chasing distractions across some other continent by that point, it didn't really matter so much.
Jake held me until there was absolutely no choice in going back to Billy's, where I accepted my fate graciously and crawled into Charlie's cruiser. I was still so tired that I couldn't help but lean over and rest my head against Charlie's shoulder the second he cranked up the car, effectively cutting off the lecture he'd been gearing up for for two full days.
"Jeez, Bells," he sighed instead, and I knew right then I was going to get grounded but get to skip the lecture. I could tell he was shaking his head in frustration and relief. "Let's just go home, kiddo."
TO BE CONTINUED...
Author's Note:
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