Sorry it took so long to update. This chapter was a challenge to write and it got away from me and ran a little long.

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Joker walked into the Captain's Cabin and looked around "Why do you have a giant fish tank but no fish?"

"Welcome to my cabin." Shepard got up off the sofa and walked over to greet him.

"Good lord, Shepard," Joker trundled down the steps, "if I'd known you had a pad this cushy, I would have started flirting with you sooner."

"Wait, all I had to do was show you my cabin?" Shepard plopped down on the sofa and put her feet up on the edge of the coffee table. "And here I went through all the trouble of hiring a stripper just to catch your attention."

Joker just stood, looking down at her.

"What, no witty comeback?" She looked up with a quizzical brow. "Cat got your tongue?"

Joker shook his head, "No, I just realized, I've never been invited into my commanding officer's quarters before. Not quite sure how I'm supposed to behave."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Joker. Please, have a seat." Shepard gestured to the sofa catty-corner to where she was sitting. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Um, sure." Joker sat down. "I'll have whatever you're having."

She smiled at him and grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses. She sat back down and poured the drinks.

"Nice, um, stemware, Commander." Joker said, picking up his glass.

"Please, not 'Commander'. Like you said, Cerberus doesn't have any regs about fraternization. We're off duty. Let's just pretend we're normal people."

"It's been awhile since I've been a normal person. I'll try and remember how." Joker took a sip of his wine. "So if we're normal people, do I call you Jane?"

"You can if you really want. I've always hated that name. Plain Jane. Boring. I've pretty much gone by Shepard my whole life."

"Well then, I'll stick with Shepard, unless I'm trying to get on your nerves." Joker smiled and settled back on the sofa.

"What about you? I've never thought much about it. Do you prefer to be called Jeff?" Shepard leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees.

He took another sip of his wine before answering. "My mother called me Jeff."

"So, is that a good thing? Would you like me to call you Jeff?" Shepard put her hand on the side of her neck.

"Honey, you can call me whatever you like." Joker laughed and winked.

"Alright, I'll call you 'asshole'." She smirked. "Let's play some cards."

"You never answered my question." Joker said as Shepard went to fetch the cards.

She came back with a deck and a pouch full of poker chips. "What question?"

"You have a giant fish tank, but no fish. Why?" He started shuffling the cards while Shepard divided out the chips.

She paused and looked at him, thoughtful. "I guess it just never occurred to me to get fish. I've been busy with fighting and stuff."

"Really?" Joker gave her a look. "You're going to lie to me about this?"

"What?" Shepard gave him an innocent, pouty look.

Joker started dealing out the cards. "Who do you think receives shipments when we're docked? Unless you're going to try and tell me that the Illium Skald fish were for Grunt."

Shepard looked intently at her hands, but her face was bright red. "Okay, I killed my fish. Fucking most advanced ship in the goddamned universe and there's no way to automate feeding a couple of fucking fish."

Joker broke out laughing. Shepard snatched up her wine and drank a big gulp but she swallowed too fast and ended up coughing which only made him laugh harder.

She gave him a stern glare. "If you're quite done."

Joker wiped his eyes still chuckling to himself. He nodded for her to continue.

"What stakes do you want to play for?" Shepard asked, trying to move the conversation along.

"Well if you win," Joker paused, "I could feed your fish for you." He started cracking up again.

Shepard tried to frown but ended up laughing with him. "I don't plan to get any more fish, really. Model ships are easier to take care of."

"Fine, be a spoiled sport. I was just going to use it as an excuse to come in here while you were away and go through your lingerie." Joker poured them each another glass of wine.

"You would have been disappointed anyhow." She picked up her glass. "I've just been wearing the practical under things that Cerberus provides. They're comfy, but not sexy."

Joker took a swallow of wine. "Glad to be out of those Alliance standard issue starch shorts. Took me a year to lose my callus."

Shepard snorted, "I'm not even going to ask."

"If you're lucky, maybe one day I'll show you where it used to be." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Wow, um, yeah... back to the game," she picked up her cards. "We could just play for small credits."

"Friendly play, one credit per bet, maximum five credits per hand per player. No ante or buy ins." Joker rattled off while setting up and flipping over the cards to begin the game.

"Suddenly, I'm beginning to worry that you were interested in my fish because you're a card shark." Shepard smiled when Joker groaned at her bad pun.

Joker sorted through his cards, "I'm in." He put a chip in the center of the table.

Shepard laid down a pair of cards. "Two down." She also put a chip in.

Joker drew a card. "When you first came aboard the old Normandy, Kaiden made an effort to find out all he could about your personal life. The man wasn't that deep into scuttlebutt, but he was well connected. Which is why it was surprising that he hardly found out anything about you that wasn't in your standard personnel file."

Shepard drew a card and discarded. "Was there a question buried somewhere in there?" She took a sip of her wine.

"Have you really not dated in your entire military career or have you worked out some nefarious method of keeping your name out of the gossip mill?" Joker laid his cards out.

There was a predatory grin on Shepard's face, "Ha! I win." She fanned out her cards with a flourish.

"You called me a shark... I'm beginning to think you ate your fish." Joker finished off his wine and divided the remainder of the bottle between them.

A brief lull of silence was broken by the sound of Shepard shuffling the cards. "To answer your question, my secret to keeping clear of the gossip mill is that I'm too boring to talk about."

"You really didn't date all that time?"

"I really didn't." Shepard downed the rest of her wine and got up to retrieve another bottle. "My last three years of school, I went to a boarding school. My mother thought it was best if I could stay in one place and not transfer all over with her after Dad died. Anyway, the headmistress kind of took me under her wing. She was retired Alliance navy, a career woman. Early on, she was promoted rapidly, until she got married. After her wedding, she never got promoted again. She told me that if you wanted a career in the military as a woman, you had to put off romance and family. Once you let them see you as a woman, it was all over."

Joker picked up the cards she had dealt as she spoke. "Do you think the Alliance is unfair to women?"

"I don't think it's the Alliance in particular, I think it's just people, especially soldiers. Too much machismo. A woman who doesn't date is an ice queen, but if she does date then she's a slut. Still, it's more than just the good old boy's club." She drew a card and put a chip in the pot.

Joker leaned forward, "How so?"

"Man or woman, if you're single in the military, pretty much all your energy ends up focused on your career. If your mission is successful then you're successful. If you have a spouse and a family you have other priorities vying for your attention. You have something besides the military to live for. I think people who have families are less likely to take risks or make sacrifices for their career because they have other people depending on them." She drew a card, looked at it briefly and then threw a chip in the pot. "When I enlisted, I promised myself that I wouldn't let a man get between me and my goals.

"Until you met Kaiden." Joker set down his wine glass and drew. "What changed? Or was it love at first sight?"

Shepard rolled her eyes, "Love at first sight, how very... romantic."

"You say 'romantic' like you really mean 'stupid'. Like maybe it's a dirty word."

"I guess old habits die hard. I spent a long time avoiding entanglement." She drew a card then tucked it in her hand and added a chip to the pile. "It wasn't meeting Kaiden that changed things by the way. It was becoming a Spectre."

Joker drew and took a sip of wine while he looked at his cards. "Why would becoming a Spectre change anything?"

"A Spectre is a Spectre. They work independently and report directly to the council. There's no real need for a formal hierarchy beyond seniority. In reality, it didn't really change anything, I just thought it did for a while. After Virmire, it was obvious that I couldn't afford to divide my attention." Shepard lined up her cards on the coffee table.

"I win." Joker said and put his cards next to hers. She nodded and he took his winnings and started to gather up the deck.

"I always intended to date and get married, hell, maybe even have a family. But it was always something for the future, when I was ready, when I had time. And then I died." She set her glass on the table and leaned forward, elbows on her knees.

Joker dealt the cards, "You ran out of time real fast there."

"That I did." Shepard picked up her cards. "This isn't just a prelude to my life anymore. Fighting the Reapers, the Collectors, living on the Normandy with my comrades in arms, all of this," she made a sweeping gesture, "this is my life."

"Well now, that's deep." He raised his hands in dramatic supplication, "Oh, Great Sensei, what does it all mean?" Joker drew a card and put a chip in the pot while Shepard giggled.

She took a drink and then drew a card, still smiling. "I don't know... I guess all I'm trying to say is, the mission is still important, but I am done waiting to be a person." She dropped a chip in the pot. "It's just been one mission after another and there's no guarantee that that will ever change. But if I keep trying to do things like I did before, I can guarantee that I will run out of energy before I run out of battles."

"So what you're saying is that you are going to get married and have babies in the middle of a war with the Reapers?" Joker laid his cards out. "Sounds like a plan. Who's the lucky man?" He grinned at Shepard and winked.

She shook her head and flopped her cards down next to his. "I win."

"You do realize that if you play Skyllian Five with only two players and they're both competent, the dealer always looses?"

Shepard finished picking up the cards. "You want to play something else?"

"Like what?"

"I know," she said, "since you're so obsessed with my fish tank, we could play Skald Fishing."

"As a shark, you'll probably have an unfair advantage."

"Har, har." Shepard shuffled.

"Skald isn't exactly a betting game," Joker pointed out.

"We could play for stories, like little girls at a sleep over." She played with her wine glass, enjoying the warm glow of a buzz.

"Stories?" His smile slipped a bit.

"Oh, don't look so suspicious. It's not that bad." She gave him a faux pouty lip. "You play a game and the winner gets to ask for a story."

"What kind of story?"

Shepard grinned, "Personal stories. For instance, if I win, I might ask you to tell me about the first time you had sex."

"No." Joker said, face shut down, serious.

Shepard just looked at him. It took her a moment to realize that there was no punch line coming, he meant it. "What do you mean?"

"I mean no. The stakes are too high. I don't want to play anymore." He stood up. "Look, I should probably go."

"Wait." Shepard set her glass down and looked up at him, brow furrowed in confusion. "I don't understand."

He put his hands in his pockets and looked at the coffee table as he spoke. "It was one thing when I was just flirting with you to cheer you up, but now, you're acting like this could be more, like it could be a relationship or something, and that's just..." He petered off.

"Just what?" She breathed the words, barely above a whisper.

Joker looked at her, "It's just stupid."

There was a flash of anger across Shepard's face. "Are you calling me stupid for wanting you?" Her tone was level but no longer soft.

"Yes." Joker shot back. "God, Shepard, you just don't get it, do you?"

Shepard looked at him, her face hard and blank.

"Fine," he said, "the first time I had sex, it was with a friend. She had known me most of my life and when she realized I was a virgin, she wanted to help." He paced a couple of steps further into the room and then turned back. "I should have said no. I should have told her I didn't want mercy sex. But I did want it. I was twenty two and horny and I pretty much wanted it however I could get it."

Joker drew closer to Shepard and looked down at her. "Beth knew all about my condition. She was careful; don't try and kid yourself that she wasn't." He stepped back, looking away again. "At first, it was nice, kissing, touching, exploring. Eventually, we ended up on the bed. I was on bottom; my legs wouldn't have been able to handle the strain. She straddled my hips, hardly even touching me. Then she reached down, adjusted the angle and slowly slid onto me until my cock was all the way inside her. She steadied herself with her hands on the bed on either side of me and gently began moving up and down, careful not to put any weight on me. I curled up to kiss her nipple but I couldn't quite reach so I pulled her down a bit to get a better angle. She only lost her balance for a second, but I ended up with three fractured ribs." Joker looked at Shepard, his eyes more angry than sad. "Beth tried to keep going. I guess she thought that since I broke bones so often, it wasn't a big deal. But a few broken ribs will deflate an erection real fast. When she realized what happened she was embarrassed. She asked me to let her get dressed and leave before I called for help so no one would know she had been there."

"I'm sorry." Shepard said and reached for his hand.

Joker jerked away, "I don't need your pity." He stepped out of range. "I can't be the man you deserve, so just forget about it." He turned and started walking towards the door on fragile legs.

"Joker..." Shepard's voice was plaintive but he didn't even pause. "Jeff! Stop!" she yelled.

Joker stopped, almost to the door. He turned, drew himself up to attention and saluted.

Shepard came and stood in front of him, reflexively assuming a defensive fighting stance. "Drop the salute. That wasn't an order and you know it." Despite her posture, her tone was aggressive, angry.

He let his hand fall but otherwise remained ridged. He kept his gaze fixed on the far wall above her shoulder.

"You're a free man, Joker. If you don't want me, if you don't feel anything for me, then fine, leave." She glared at him, moving close enough that she interrupted his line of sight. He either had to turn away or meet her stare. He didn't move. "But if you're just too afraid to stay and find out where this might go between us, don't you dare pretend that running away is some noble sacrifice you're making to protect me. You walk out that door and it's not like the man you think I deserve walks in to replace you. You walk out and I have less, not more."

Joker scowled back at her from far too close, refusing to be the one who backed away. His voice sounded rough. "Kaiden will realize his mistake and come crawling back, or some other able bodied man will come sweep you off your feet, soon enough. You don't need me."

"I do need you." Shepard's nostrils flared and she leaned even closer. "I don't want some random stranger. As for Kaiden, he can take his righteous indignation and stuff it. You're the one who's here, now, when I need you."

Joker snorted. "You want me because I happen to be convenient and available? That's not very flattering, Shepard."

"Don't be an idiot. You don't just 'happen' to be here. When the old Normandy went down, you stayed at the helm as long as possible to give the crew a chance to evacuate, even though it meant defying the evacuation order yourself. Afterwards, when the Alliance grounded you and decided to ignore the Reaper threat, you found someone who would use your skills to fight. Any number of private companies would have been all too happy to have you work for them. But what's the point of being the best pilot in the galaxy if all you're doing is flying parcel runs? You knew the danger and you couldn't just sit idly by. That means everything to me." She started the speech in a loud, acerbic tone, but by the end her cadence was softer, slower, but no less intense.

Joker finally dropped his gaze, defeated. "You give me too much credit. You know, surely you know, it wasn't just the fight I came back for."

Shepard put her finger tips on the edge of Joker's jaw and he looked up just as she closed the last few inches between them. The first kiss was just a light press of lips and then Shepard pulled back, eyes searching his countenance for reassurance. Joker put his arms around her and stepped in closer. Their second kiss was luxurious and warm.

She leaned back and looked at him with a smug smile. "Now, how about we go sit down. That is, if you're done acting like a teenage girl."

Joker dropped his arms and stepped back, "What?" His voice was low and husky.

The mirth was starting to make Shepard's eyes twinkle. "You're cute when you bluster."

He was louder when he responded, "I do not bluster, and I do not, ever, act like a teenage girl."

"I don't know that I've ever heard you yell before. You sound like thunder, it kind of gives me chills." She visibly shuddered to demonstrate. Then she quirked a mischievous eyebrow, "And by the way, storming off like a martyr because you're feeling insecure is way teenage girl behavior."

He stuttered for a moment, casting about for a response, but his blush betrayed him.

"Yes!" She was jubilant. "Finally, I got you to blush for me. Sweet victory."

Joker looked up at her from under a furrowed brow, "I hate you."

"I love you, too," she said.

His head shot up but Shepard had already turned and flounced down the steps.

"Are you coming?" she asked. Joker shook his head and hobbled down to resume his seat.

Shepard started to deal out cards.

"So, are we still going to play for stories," Joker queried, "because hiding behind a game to ask personal questions instead of just owning up to being interested seems like way teenage girl behavior."

"Touché." She sorted through the cards in her hand to buy time. "Alright, from now on, I'll try and be a big girl. If I want to know, I'll just ask. You should feel free to do the same." She looked back at her cards. "Got any twos?"

Joker laid a card on the table and she added two more cards and drew to pass the turn. He looked at his cards, then he dropped his hand and looked at Shepard instead. "What are we doing?"

She tilted her head to the side, "We're playing cards."

"No," he sounded flustered, "I mean in a larger sense."

"Oh, I know this one... we're fighting a war against intergalactic spaceship monsters in order to save civilization as we know it."

Joker let out a snorting chuckle, "Spaceship monsters..." He sighed, "I guess I meant in the middle size. What are you and I doing? You know, us?"

Shepard echoed his sigh. "Ah, the middle... yeah, that's where it gets a little tricky." She laid down her cards, the game forgotten, and picked up her wine glass. "Isn't it usually the girl that does this?"

"Does what?" Joker asked, picking up his own wine and leaning back.

"Tries to define the relationship immediately?"

"You'd probably know more about that than I do; I haven't been involved with anyone since Beth."

Shepard sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Yeah..." she said, "that's still more experience than I have."

"Don't try and bullshit me, Shepard. You're no virgin." Joker scooted closer to her, grinning.

Shepard drew herself up, feigning shock. " My, my, what sort of lady do you take me for, sir?"

He reached out and lightly touched her face. "Respectfully ma'am, you're not a lady; you are a damn fine soldier."

Shepard closed her eyes and nuzzled her cheek against his palm. He let out a shaky breath. "The way you're playing me," he said, "it's obvious that you know exactly what you're doing."

"Maybe I'm just a fast learner." She lightly kissed the knuckle of his thumb.

Joker ran his fingertips across her lips and then withdrew his hand. "Come on, you may have kept clear of scuttlebutt by not dating within the military, but you've had breaks and shore leave."

Shepard retrieved her glass from the table. "I meant it when I said I haven't dated since I enlisted," she paused a moment and took a sip, "Tell you the truth, you're the only person I've even kissed since I was fifteen."

"Since fifteen?" Joker shook his head, "You're thirty now, so that's half your life you've wasted on celibacy."

"Hey!" Shepard cried, "You can't count the years I was dead. I'm only twenty eight."

"Women." He snickered, "As I see it, you are either thirty years old, or only four months old. But I'll warn you, I don't date infants."

"So then, we're dating?" She smiled and lifted her eyebrows at him.

"Wait," he said and lifted his eyebrows right back at her, "you really are a virgin, then?"

"No..." she shook her head, "no, I'm not."

He laughed and chucked her lightly on the shoulder. "You hussy. Giving it up at fifteen."

She shrugged her shoulders, "It wasn't planned," she said, "or at least, I didn't plan it."

"Well, even if you only did it once, I'd say that qualifies you as having more romantic experience."

"Not necessarily," Shepard took a drink before continuing, "fractures not withstanding, your first time sounds way more successful than mine."

"My first time was awkward, painful and truncated. Working on the assumption that everything was consensual, I can't see how your first time could have been worse than broken bones."

Shepard went to take a drink of wine only to realize her glass was already empty. She set it down. "I didn't say it was worse," she said, "It's not a competition you know. I just said it was less successful. Awkward, painful and truncated is a pretty accurate description of my first time as well. You at least got to have some pleasant sex before things got cut off."

"Wait," Joker looked horrified, "you cut it off?"

"What? Oh, no..." Shepard made a small exasperated noise, "Grow up, you know what I meant."

He finished his wine and set down his glass. "So, let me guess, he stuck it in, came immediately, and you dumped his ass?"

"Eww, gross." She wrinkled her nose, "Nothing like that."

"Are you going to tell me about it or do I have to win a game of cards first?"

She heaved a melodramatic sigh. "Fine, I'll tell you." But then she leaned in and kissed Joker instead. After a moments hesitation he kissed her back. For such a strong, hard woman, her lips were surprisingly soft. When the kiss broke, they sat with their foreheads lightly touching.

"You're trying to distract me, aren't you?" he whispered, almost against her lips.

"Maybe." She kissed him again.

Joker took her by the shoulders and gently pulled away. "You weren't, you know..." Concern was painted across his features, "I mean, it was consensual, right?"

She touched his face. "Don't worry, I wasn't raped." She gave him a quick kiss and then flopped back against the sofa. "It's just embarrassing is all. I'm not proud of how I behaved."

Joker turned to face her, pulling his knee up onto the seat between them. "Shit, Shepard, you were fifteen, you're supposed to be an idiot at fifteen."

"No, the Great Commander Shepard is always supposed to be strong and virtuous and confident. She is certainly never supposed to have been a silly little school girl who was afraid that her cute boyfriend would't like her anymore if she didn't put out."

"You were an insecure teenage girl," Joker gave her a knowing look, "you probably just stormed out like a martyr."

That at least got Shepard to smile. "No, I didn't. Although, come to think of it, that would have been an appropriate response."

"Quit hinting and just tell me the story already."

"Yeah, yeah." Shepard sat up and turned to face him, mirroring his posture, their knees pressed together. "It was my first year of boarding school. My dad had died about eight months earlier and my mom was on some ship halfway across the galaxy so I stayed in the dorms over the holiday break. If I hadn't been one of about a dozen kids left at the school, I doubt Collin would have ever noticed me. I knew who he was, of course. He was 17, popular, handsome, a bit of a trouble maker. The crap he got up to, if he wasn't brilliant and talented, he probably would have been kicked out a dozen times over. Anyway, I was sitting alone in the nearly empty cafeteria and Collin came and sat with me. We talked for a few minutes while he wolfed down his food and then he left. That likely would have been the end of it but the headmistress caught him in the hall afterward. She told him that I was a good girl going through a rough time and that he should stay away from me. She might as well have painted a target on me. From then on, he spent every moment he could with me. I was flattered by the attention. Dating was against the rules which just made it all the more exciting. I'd always been a good girl; being with Collin was more fun. We would hold hands under the table or sneak a kiss when we thought no one would see. After about six weeks of this, I got a message from him while I was studying one night in the common room. He told me to meet him outside the girl's dormitory a half hour after curfew. Stolen kisses were one thing but sneaking out was more than I was ready for. I wasn't going to go, but I was still in the common room at half past when the headmistress was called to help break up a fight in the boy's dorm. For some reason, I got up and followed her out. As she rounded the corner out of sight, Collin appeared from the opposite direction. He grabbed my hand and we ran. We ended up in a science classroom that wasn't being used that semester. He must have been there earlier because there was a pallet of blankets on the floor and a row of bunsen burners on a nearby lab table. It wasn't exactly roses and candles but he was trying. He lit the burners and turned out the lights. Then, he took my hand and lead me to the pallet by the steady blue light of half a dozen flames. I followed mutely. We had never even been alone together before, never discussed sex. Even after he had removed our cloths while I just passively stood there I didn't expect things to go that far. Then he told me to lie down and he nudged my legs apart and laid down on top of me. It was my first time so when he pushed himself inside of me there was pain. I whimpered underneath him and bit my lip to stay quiet. He paused to give me a moment to adjust. That's when the headmistress found us. I'd only been out of the dorms fifteen minutes."

"I don't suppose the headmistress let you finish?" Joker asked.

Shepard actually laughed out loud. "No, no she did not."

"Well that's just rude." He laughed with her.

"I can't really imagine trying to continue with the headmistress standing there, waiting."

"She could have waited in the hall." Joker said.

"She could have, but she didn't."

Joker put his hand on her knee. "Okay, I see how that was awkward as hell, but I don't understand why you're embarrassed. The only thing you did wrong was date a romantic cliche who had no concept of foreplay."

"But I didn't actually want to have sex with him. I just stood there like a lump and let him do what he wanted with my body because I was afraid he would stop paying attention to me if I didn't. I didn't love him, I barely even knew him. I was just using him because I was lonely after my dad died."

Joker rubbed his temples with his fingertips. "Seriously Shepard," he said, "it's been fifteen years and you still feel guilty for dating a guy just because you were lonely? That might be the most neurotic thing I've ever heard you say."

Shepard rolled her eyes, "Well, when you say it like that it sounds stupid-"

"Because it is." Joker interjected.

"Okay, but my point is... what was my point?" She paused and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay, so after the headmistress broke things up, I never saw Collin again. I was sent to the nurse's office and spent the rest of the night having uncomfortable conversations with authority figures. Collin was sent to pack his bags. Not only did he have a history of making trouble, but he had hacked two boys' omnitools to cause the fight that gave us cover to sneak out. I'm sure that the administration meant for it to be a clean break between us, but Collin was good at hacking. It took him about a week to find a way to get a message to me. The letter was a vitriolic tirade. He blamed me for everything that happened and told me that I was a horrible person who was incapable of love. Look, don't get me wrong, it's all ancient history now, I'm not still broke up about it. But it does still embarrass me that, at one point, I was so weak that I slept with a spineless jerk so I didn't have to face being alone."

"Don't be too hard on yourself, it's no small thing to be alone." Joker took hold of her hands and stilled their nervous wringing. "With Beth, I secretly hoped that if we had sex, she would come to see me as more than a friend. That she would care for me the way I cared for her. I knew her better than that, but I let myself pretend, anyway. I didn't want to be alone anymore. Instead of winning her affections, I destroyed our friendship. I saw her about a year ago in a shop, she pretended she didn't see me."

Shepard looked down at their hands, then back at Joker's face. "I can't promise I'll never accidentally break you, but if I do, I can promise not to panic and run away."

Joker smiled. "And I'll try not to get expelled from school and blame it all on you."

"I suppose that's all I can ask." She grinned back at him but then she had to stifle a yawn.

"Aw, little lamb, you've had a long day," Joker said, "and you've got a long day ahead of you. I should get out of here so you can get some sleep."

Shepard held onto his hands. "You could stay. I mean, the bed is big and it has to be more comfortable than your bunk."

He smiled and squeezed her hands. "When you have your nightmares, do you thrash about much?" He raised one eyebrow.

"Ah... I see what you mean."

"Don't frown, I'm sure we could work something out. But not tonight." He stood up and she stood with him. He surprised her by taking the lead and pulling her in close and kissing her. They took their time, neither seemed eager for the evening to be over. Eventually, she walked him out. After the door closed behind him, Shepard slumped against the wall and stood thinking for a minute before straightening up and getting ready for bed.

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If the next chapter goes as planned, I should be earning that "M" rating soon. I just need to figure out how to write smut and avoid the "Pronoun verbed the prepositional phrase." trap. Also, reviews make me write faster.