A/N: Murtagh returns to Uru'baen, feeling dirty and tainted. His reflections do not help but Thorn is there to make a difference.
***Takes place after previous one shot.
Tainted Reckoning
After his thoughts had calmed enough for him to push aside the looming depression, Murtagh healed Thorn to the best of his ability (utterly disgusted at the fact that he had let his heart and soul suffer so long while he wallowed in his own self-pity), then mounted the gleaming red dragon.
Thorn continued to prove his selflessness by mentally assuring his rider that he understood and in no way thought any less of him for giving into grief. It took a little while, but soon both rider and dragon reached a compromise within their thoughts.
Together, they began the weary flight back to Uru'baen, cautious and dreading what may lay in wait for them.
The scene they found left both rider and dragon mortified. Seated in his throne room, Galbatorix celebrated the death of the golden dragon and his Elven partner, revered in the feeling of taking their life force and his only hint of regret was that Glaedr's heart of hearts had been lost.
A terrible loss…Was the Kings mournful thought, though the sorrow did not last long as he finally grew aware of his Rider's return.
Ah, welcome back…What a victorious day it has been.
Murtagh's face was blank of all expression but his inner emotions raged helplessly.
How could he be so unconcerned? How could he not feel anything over the heartache he caused?
"Leave me." The King ordered and Murtagh, after a moment of being stunned at the dismissal (for it was a rare occurrence), turned and left, seeking sanctuary in his tower far from the mad man that had bound him to his will.
Maybe Galbatorix knew what his possession had done to the stoic warrior.
Murtagh snorted.
There was no maybe about it. That monster knew intimately about every action he performed.
Thorn's mental voice brushed over his mind, offering a comfort that was familiar and welcome, even though Murtagh felt like he did not deserve it. Regardless of his own self-loathing, the dark-haired young man embraced the offered warmth as he threw himself onto his bed, fully aware that his clothes were still soiled from the recent battle.
He just could not bring himself to care much in that moment.
He was cold and numb from the aftermath of his angered and bitter emotions. He was alone, in the sense that aside from Thorn (who hummed in agreement); no one else understood what he went through. He wanted to scream and curse, but knew it would do little to change what had occurred…What would occur.
He lifted one hand to gaze at it with steely grey eyes, seeing something beyond the black leather that covered his pale skin.
He shut his eyes and curled up in the bed, wrapping his arms around his now trembling frame. He felt empty…Tainted.
Blood, thick and red…So much that it made him nauseas, so much and it was not going away. Great golden eyes filled with pain and such sorrow that Murtagh wished he could take it away.
Eragon's pleas to leave the king, to reconsider taking Galbatorix's side…but he did not understand that Murtagh had no choice. The fool made it sound like leaving would be as simple as merely making the decision.
…and yet, maybe Eragon was right in a way. If he had only been strong enough, more determined to keep Galbatorix from taking over…Then maybe this would not have happened.
Murtagh would not be a Kingkiller. He would not be a dragon slayer and traitor to his kind. His little brother would not hate him…He would not be a puppet to a mad man with warped dreams of a better world. Thorn would not be enslaved because of his riders own weakness!
'Stop it!' Thorn snapped, interrupting all further thoughts of what could have been and what he would prefer over this constant nightmare.
'We cannot change what has passed.' The red dragon continued, anger and fierceness coloring his tone. 'We cannot change the path fate has constructed for us…and I would not seek to change it.'
Murtagh felt the tears but they did not fall.
'It is a hard road, and it's certainly not fair…but it is what we have been given and we will be stronger for our struggles.' Thorn murmured, his tone becoming gentler. 'There is much I would change, but I would not give up what we have…You are mine as I am yours, and nothing will come between that…just as we will be free one day That much I know for certain.'
Murtagh could not help but laugh. It was strained and somewhat hysterical, but he could not help it.
'I wish I had your optimism…or would that be better described as a fool's hope?'
'Then I am a fool." Thorn answered simply.
"Then we are both fools, my friend." Murtagh said aloud, sighing and rubbing his eyes wearily.
A fool with a tainted soul-
'A brave fool, who soul is hurt…Never tainted.' Thorn corrected.
The tears came once more and this time Murtagh did not stop them. He cried for Thorn. He cried for the golden dragon and his fallen rider. He cried for Eragon. He cried for the world and how it was going to know more suffering before things went the right way…and he cried for himself.
The bitter part of him would always see the taint, for self-loathing was an addiction that was hard to shake, but if Thorn could look past it, then so could Murtagh.
…or at least, he could try.
A/N: A little random, but it made sense when I started...Not so sure it does now?
Coming Soon!
Inheritance Cycle AU multi-chapter story. Title: "Wyrda" (Fate).
I am writing a completely AU rendition of the entire series, starting with Murtagh when he is a child and it will be centred around Murtagh (duh), Brom, Eragon and the dragons.
If anyone wants to offer ideas or suggestions, please feel free because it is a major work-in-progress even though I have some of the main elements worked out.
