A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a fridge freshly cleaned out of leftovers 'cause that's what I fixed for dinner tonight. See, Mom of the Year, I'm telling you. :D
Thanks so much to my superbeta, MaggieMay14. She's cute and she needs a job. Anyone can hook her up with either a smokin' hot boy toy or a ridiculously high paying job, just let me know. I'll pass it along.
Thanks to my prereaders, Twilight44, Unchanged Affections, and EdwardsBloodType. I'm reminded, like every day, of how amazing these girls are. I honestly couldn't do this without them. Well, I could, but you wouldn't want to read it, that's for sure. :D Thanks to the girls that WC'd with me for this. :D And to Mrs. Robward, who makes me write sad, angsty things. And lemons…she makes me write lemons. See why I love her?
Thanks to ZenOneness for the awesome prompt and for letting me change it up just a bit. You just seem so excited about this story. It makes me giddy. :)
Thanks to Dances with Wolves and The Substitute Wife, the two movies that I got some plot ideas from. I love those movies… :)
Let's see what's next, shall we? And Pale Swan is getting a little mouthy. I love that about her…
-Chapter 3-
~o~O~o~
"What-" Edward yelled excitedly as he jumped away from her. Pale Swan stood in shock at Edward's boldness. She knew this was his home, but she never thought he was the type of man that would betray his marital vows in such a way. If he wanted her to act as his mistress, she knew she would have to leave. It was not in her nature to entertain such deceitful ideas, nor did she wish to disrespect Kate or Little Wolf in that way. Though she knew it was wrong, the feel of Edward's lips on her skin had burned her flesh, marking her forever as his. She couldn't help it that her heart beat faster, her breath quickened, and her fingers shook as he stood behind her. Pale Swan wanted to feel that way always.
She had been out in the barn milking the cow before returning to the kitchen to continue the evening meal that Kate had started. Pale Swan was getting more familiar with the cooking stove and the way it was to be used. Earlier in the day, when Kate asked that she bring in the boxes of her parents belongings, Pale Swan found her mother's good Sunday dress, and the memories it brought flooded her mind. With Kate's encouragement, she tried on the dress, only to find that it fit her perfectly. Kate had fixed her hair, braiding it before pinning it up on her head. Pale Swan felt very uncomfortable that way, but Kate had insisted she looked lovely.
Now as Edward stood behind her, clearly angry at the realization that it was her standing there, she resisted the urge to run from the house.
"What are you wearing? I thought you savages only wore those buckskin type clothes. Is this Kate's dress?" he said, his voice rising with each word. Pale Swan fought back the tears that had sprung to her eyes.
"No, this my mother dress. Kate told me put on, wear it here. Kate say..."
"Kate!" Edward called, turning and stomping toward the bedroom. "What's going on?"
"Isn't she pretty?" Kate asked as she slowly walked into the main room. Edward instinctively moved to help her, placing his arm around her waist and helping her to a chair. Her coloring was looking better with each passing day, and both Pale Swan and Edward were thankful for that. "You'll never believe this, Edward, but Pale Swan's parents built this house. She lived here as a child. Isn't that incredible?" Kate had such a huge smile on her face that Pale Swan almost forgot that there was anything to be upset about. Then she remembered how good Kate had been to her. Guilt overwhelmed her, and she shrunk back, wishing she could melt into the wall behind her.
"What are you talking about? Her parents owned this ranch?" Edward looked at Pale Swan, his eyes inquisitive. "Is that why you're here? To get it back?"
"No," Pale Swan whispered.
"Well, you can't have it. I bought it fair and square, and it's mine now. Everything here is mine, do you hear me? I won't let you have it just because you were here first. This is my life and my family, and you can't just come in here ruining everything like this! It's not fair, I didn't even want you here!" Edward's voice was sharp and cruel, and Pale Swan nodded in agreement to his words, before apologizing and running out the back door. How he could have been so tender to her one minute and so horrible the next, she didn't know, but Pale Swan remained in the barn for the rest of the evening, refusing to show her face in the cabin again.
Well after dark, with her growling stomach getting the better of her, Pale Swan slowly returned to the house. She moved as quietly as possible, hoping not to disturb anyone. The moon was full, so she was able to see rather well as she moved across the yard. The door opened quietly, not even a tiny creak from the hinges, and she slipped into the kitchen. She felt around the table she knew was there and found a small bowl with a few biscuits left in it. Grabbing two of them, she moved toward the ladder that would take her to her bed. That's when she heard sounds, and they stopped her in her tracks.
She listened carefully, hearing the heavy breathing coming from somewhere near her. There were groans coming from a high voice, and she feared for a moment when she realized it was Kate. Her mind ran immediately to the upcoming birth and she wondered if Kate was having pains and would deliver sooner than she should. Just as Pale Swan was about to knock on the closed bedroom door, she heard another voice, this one much deeper. She recognized it as Edward's, and when she heard him breathing ragged as well, combined with the shifting and creaking sound of furniture, a dreadful thought crossed her mind.
"Ugh, Edward," Kate's voice said. Within a matter of seconds, Edward was moaning Kate's name as well. Living in a small camp and tipi's that were rather close to each other, Pale Swan has heard the sounds of relations before. She knew that married men and women lay together each night and that often times they had relations. It was a natural occurrence and something to be pleased about, but listening to Edward and Kate made her stomach turn. Why was she so upset about what was happening just feet away from her? Edward was not hers in any way, and from what she gathered, he didn't even like her. Kate was her friend and had been nothing but kind to her from the first moment they met. Yet every cell in Pale Swan's body told her that this was not right, that she should stop what was happening. Knowing the embarrassment she would feel if caught listening as the man she was secretly falling in love lay with his wife, Pale Swan soundlessly walked back to the door and made her way out to the barn. She would sleep there for the night and return to the house in the morning.
As she lay in the soft bed of hay that she constructed for herself, Pale Swan couldn't help but wish she was Kate. She wanted to be refined and enchanting, to be sweet and thoughtful. Mostly, she wanted to claim Edward as her own, and the thought brought tears to her eyes. She tried to bring up images of Little Wolf to her mind, remembering the way his body moved as he broke in a new mare. She tried to remember the black of his eyes and how they sparkled when he was happy. She tried to remember the kind words he whispered to her when no one else was near. Her efforts worked and as she drifted off, she saw nothing but dark beauty, until at the last moment before sleep overtook her, she saw it...green.
~o~O~o~
The next two months passed by quickly, yet each day seemed to last forever to Edward. Kate was feeling better, but limited as to her activities because of the pregnancy. Pale Swan had quickly become her best friend and Kate commented each night how grateful she was to have the help and a confidant. She often times even remarked at how Pale Swan was closer to her than her own sisters had ever been.
Pale Swan continued to wear the dresses that had belonged to her mother, yet she also wore her tribal dresses and leggings, especially when she worked with the animals. Edward had quickly learned what a good trainer she was when it came to his horses. The Comanche tribes were well known for their fine horse skills and for the high standards they set when it came to training animals, and Edward couldn't deny the fact he was glad to have Pale Swan there, if only for that reason. Spending so much time with her was difficult, especially now that Kate was uncomfortable and unwilling to offer him a way to relieve the sexual frustration he spent all day building up. He hoped that the baby would come soon so that Pale Swan could return to her people, and leave Edward to the life he had resigned himself to. Unfortunately, that didn't happen.
One afternoon, as Edward returned from a trip into town, he passed a military squadron. Stopping to offer a friendly greeting, he was asked about local tribes, and if he'd had any contact. He had the distinct impression that he should not mention Chief Growling Wolf's people or Pale Swan, so he only told of the stories he had heard of raids and problems at some ranches south and east of his. The men thanked him for his help, and continued on their way to the town. Hurrying home, he was glad to find Kate and Pale Swan both safely in the house.
"The military are looking for your people," he told Pale Swan. "Tomorrow we need to ride to your camp and tell them. Some of the men in the unit were talking about the reservations in Oklahoma. I think they're rounding up groups again."
"Yes, tomorrow we go. I show you."
~o~O~o~
The next morning, Pale Swan and Edward mounted their horses and left the ranch. Pale Swan had wanted to wear her Indian attire, but at Edward's urging, she wore one of her mother's dresses. He told her that if she was caught, she would be mistaken for an Indian maiden, and Edward wanted to protect her. He also insisted that for the time being, she go by her white name, Isabella. However, there were enough people in town that remembered the Swan's that he feared someone figuring out who she was, and that she now belonged to the tribe. Kate decided that she should go by Bella, and that they would tell anyone who asked that Bella was Kate's younger sister, come west to help with the new baby and the ranch. Pale Swan agreed, and marveled at the care Edward seemed to be showing her. If she hadn't of known better, she might think he actually liked her.
The whole ride, not a word was spoken between Pale Swan and Edward. He followed her lead in the direction of camp, and waited until they reached her family. After a few hours, the two riders crested a small hill, only to have Pale Swan stop and gasp. In front of them was a cleared spot where a few insignificant signs of life lay in the dirt. Edward rode forward as Pale Swan remained on the hill, afraid to see what she knew was happening. She watched quietly as Edward examined the entire camp site, stopping every so often to check something more closely. When he returned to her, it was with sadness etched on his face.
"I'm so sorry, they're gone. It looks like they packed up almost everything, so hopefully that means they left before the military found them. Some of the men yesterday were saying they just rounded up people and made them leave everything behind. I hope that has not happened to your people."
Pale Swan looked out over the land she was so familiar with. The tribe had always moved and followed the herds of buffalo, and never did she feel sad, but this time...she was left behind. Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of never again seeing her Indian mother or father, or her many sisters. She even thought of Chief Growling Wolf and the way he had cared for her over the years. Finally, she thought about Little Wolf, and she wondered where he might be. He promised her that he would always return, no matter what, and she knew that if he was free, he would find a way to get back to her.
"Let us go, they find me someday." With that, Pale Swan turned her horse around and started back to the ranch. As she got farther away, the tears grew stronger. She did not want Edward to see her cry, so she urged her horse on a little faster. When Edward kept pace with her, she pushed the mare to a slow gallop. When Edward again stayed right behind, Pale Swan forced the mare into an all out, open run across the flat plains. Edward pushed his horse as well, hesitant to let her get too far ahead, and as he caught up to her, he saw Pale Swan crying openly. He pulled along side her and reached for her reins, slowing both of their horses to a stop.
"What's wrong? What is it?" he asked, panicking that something was wrong, other than her people disappearing for a bit.
"They left me."
"No, they'll be back. They love you, right? The man you're supposed to marry, what was his name?"
Pale Swan looked at Edward and could see a tense, almost pained, look on his face. "Little Wolf," she whispered.
"Yeah, him. He won't leave you, I'm sure. Please, don't cry, okay? I'm here and you can stay with us as long as you need." Instinctively, Edward reached up and wiped a tear away from Pale Swan's cheek. As their eyes met, each of them felt something pulling them together, and just as Edward noticed his body leaning toward her, and Pale Swan's body doing the same, they heard the distant sound of horse hooves.
Startled, Edward quickly pulled back and handed Pale Swan's reins back to her. Farther down the road they had just begun riding on, coming from the direction of town, was another military patrol. Edward's nerves got the best of him and he told Pale Swan to slowly lead her horse back toward the ranch, so as not to draw attention to them. "I'll call you Bella, if they speak to us, so you must answer to that, alright?"
"Yes," she said, nodding in agreement.
As they rode toward home, they heard horses approaching them from behind, and soon there were several soldiers near them, asking questions and for information. Pale Swan kept quiet, letting Edward handle things. It was not uncommon for men to lead conversations and for women to only speak when spoken too. When she noticed a few of the men looking at her, their eyes casting up and down her body, she became fearful.
"Is this your wife?" one of the men asked Edward.
With an angry tone to his voice, he responded, "No, she is my wife's sister, therefore my sister. She is also spoken for, so you can stop your looking."
The men smiled and winked at Pale Swan, but she did her best to ignore them, anxious to return to the safety the ranch provided. Edward was ready to move along, as well, and bid the men good day as he urged his horse back to a quick trot.
Kate was waiting for them when they returned, and as Edward went to tend to the horses in the barn, Pale Swan entered the house, finally letting go of her emotions once she told Kate what had happened. The two women sat, crying together as Kate consoled a brokenhearted Pale Swan.
~o~O~o~
The sadness on Edward's face when he saw them later was clear. The sadness only masked the other emotions he was feeling over the situation. He was sad for Pale Swan's loss, worried for his family's safety, happy that Pale Swan would have to remain with them, and guilty because, more than anything, we wanted to see her face each day. The reassuring smile that Kate gave him only served to make him feel more conflicted, and he quickly hurried to the bedroom to lie down until the evening meal was served, shirking off his evening chores until later.
Within a few days time, Kate started experiencing more frequent stomach pains. Pale Swan began to ready things for the arrival of the baby, and one afternoon when Edward found her in the barn, he let the frustration he was feeling get to him. For weeks he had been secretly watching her move about the ranch—the way her fingers wrapped around the animal's harnesses, the way she pursed her lips when she was feeding the chickens, and even the way her arm flexed when she washed the evening dishes. Every move she made was magical and mesmerizing, and Edward could feel himself becoming more and more tightly wound around her. Then he would see Katie smile at him, and his heart would sink. How could he be in love with one woman while another was due to birth his child at any moment? It just wasn't proper.
As he entered the barn to get his horse saddled for a quick ride into town so that he could alert the doctor to the progression of Kate's pregnancy, he found Pale Swan digging holes in the hard, earth floor. She also had two posts lying on the ground next to her and a mallet, along with various bedding items.
"What are you doing to my barn floor?" he asked, hints of both confusion and anger in his voice.
"Readying for baby be born."
Edward looked at her as though she as crazy. "Why are you doing that out here? Kate'll have the baby in the house, where it's supposed to happen."
"No, baby born here. I help. House have wood floor, no birth baby there," she said, matter-of-factly, and continued her task.
"You're crazy, you know that?" Edward mumbled as he grabbed the horse's saddle and a blanket to go under it.
"No, I birth babies, I know how do it. How many babies you birth?" Pale Swan sat waiting for an answer while Edward tried to ignore her. "Yes, what I thought. You don't know birth babies. You shut mouth."
"What?" Edward whipped around, glaring at her. "This is my ranch, you don't tell me what to do here."
Pale Swan jumped to her feet, not willing to give in just yet. "No! This my ranch, my father build this barn, I help. You build nothing but family."
The tension between the two was thick, and as their bodies unconsciously moved closer to each other, they soon found themselves standing toe to toe, their faces only inches apart. Edward was breathing so hard that he thought his heart might leap from his chest. As he stared into Pale Swan's brown eyes, he could see some other emotion besides rage. She seemed angry or upset, but the closer he got to her, the most sure he was that there was something else spurring on her actions. His hands began to fist and he shook them out, trying to calm himself. As much as he wanted to yell at Pale Swan and put her in her place—which was not much more than that of a servant girl—he had an even stronger desire to crush her body to his and taste the sweetness of her mouth.
"You make me crazy. Why are you still here?" Edward growled out in frustration.
"You no worry, I leave after baby, you no see me anymore!" Pale Swan yelled, before turning and running from the barn.
The thought of not seeing her again nearly brought Edward to his knees, and his brow furrowed as he watched her race out toward the pasture. He was wound tighter than ever before, and he needed to find some way to get rid of his frustration. His thoughts turned to Kate and he remembered why he'd gone to the barn in the first place.
After saddling his horse, he quickly returned to the house so that he could tell Kate he was leaving. He was still upset about what had happened with Pale Swan, but with each passing day it became more clear to him that she needed to leave. He could only hold back his ever growing feelings for her for so long, and he knew it was in his best interest if he was not tempted by her every single day. As sad as he was to see her go, he knew there was no other choice.
"Katie," he whispered as he entered the bedroom. She lay still on the bed, and her eyes opened when she heard his voice. "I'm goin' into town. I'll be back soon, okay?"
"Edward, be careful. Hurry, please." Her voice was soft, yet he knew that she was uncomfortable.
"I will, I'll bring the doctor back with me."
Kate smiled. "Can you send Pale Swan in? I want her to stay with me."
Edward swallowed and wondered what he should tell Kate. He didn't know if Pale Swan would do what he asked her, but maybe if it was for Kate, she would.
"Uh, alright."
Kate laughed. "Why do you fight it? If you'd just give her a chance, you'd see how wonderful she is."
Edward kept himself from letting out the laugh that bubbled in his chest. If only Kate knew why he had to fight it. If only Kate knew just how wonderful he already thought Pale Swan was, but she couldn't know. He would make sure that he never let his desire for Pale Swan show through.
"It's not proper, Katie, you know that. I'll get her for you." He leaned down to place a kiss on Kate's forehead and her hand on his arm stopped him from pulling away.
"She's meant to be here, Edward. I know it, I can feel it." Her reassuring smile did little to ease his troubled mind, but he did his best to return it with a smile of his own.
Walking back toward the barn, Edward wondered where Pale Swan might have run off to. He didn't have to look for her for long, finding her leaning against a fence post with her head laying on her arms. He paused as he approached her, watching as her shoulders shook. She was crying, and he had caused it. His first instinct was to pull her into his arms and apologize, but what kind of message would that send to her? What if someone saw? He was a good man, or tried to be, but he was smart enough to realize that if he gave in to his want for her, he might never be able to stop.
Cautiously he stepped closer to her. He knew the moment she heard him, as her body stiffened and she sniffled a few times.
"Pale Swan?" he quietly said. "I'm going into town and Katie is asking for you. I told her I'd find you."
"Yes," she whispered. Her head was down as she moved past Edward. His hand reached out and caught her arm, stopping her escape.
"I'm sorry I hurt you, I didn't mean to."
Pale Swan remained quiet, simply nodding her head.
"I'm just confused, I guess." There was so much more Edward wanted to say, but his duties to his wife and soon to be born child kept him from doing so. He wanted to tell her how his heart beat faster each time she entered the room. How he couldn't stop his eyes from trailing up and down her body as she stretched and reached for things. How he wanted to reach over and push back the short pieces of hair that fell across her face as she cooked or sat sewing at the table. How desperately he wanted to press his lips to her skin again. But he couldn't tell her any of those things, and it broke his heart.
He let go of her arm and watched as she slowly moved across the yard and into the house. Their eyes connected once she stepped inside, turning to shut the door. In that instant, Edward could see the confusion in her face, and he wondered for a moment if she felt the same things he did. Part of him hoped she did, though he knew it didn't matter. He and Pale Swan could never be more than a dream, and with a heavy heart he mounted his horse and rode toward town.
~o~O~o~
A/N: Oh Edward…he's falling harder and harder. Poor guy.
