Title: Later

Author: Dark Roswellian Angel

Elizabeth McDowell

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. If I did, "Dark Angel" would still be airing, and Malec would be a household phrase- as in, two young lovers are so malec for each other, or their chemistry is just so malec.

Copying/Downloading/Posting: Please let me know first, and let me know where my work will be posted as I would love to come visit it. Make sure that it is put under my name, as I would love to hear how others feel about it. Thanks ;)

Rating: T+ just to be safe

Synopsis: During The Berrisford Agenda, Max learns about her relationships with men- more specifically about two men in her life. And about herself, too. This is the third of three chapters for this fic.

A/N: Part of this chapter was inspired by "Twister." Kudos to anybody who can figure out what part.

2nd A/N: I have to apologize for not getting this up by my goal time. And I have to warn everybody. No matter how good looking or smooth they are with the words, ignore those fine men with the sign-up-to-join clipboards. I swear to you now, no matter what they claim, stomach bugs are just nowhere near as much fun as they claim. I repeat- avoid the bug! Do not sign!

3rd A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you to everybody who has reviewed the first two chapters. It means so much to me when people take the time to let me know what they think. Special thanks goes out to vancity angel, MythStar Black Dragon, Myth87, PyroDeScorpio2, klylu, JoJo2753, and Aranel du Lac. Thank you :)


Truth in High Places

Later that night, Max was up on top of the Space Needle. It was her favorite place for going to figure things out, and right now her head was practically exploding from all of her questions. She needed to figure out what was going on. For instance, what about Logan? Was it possible that tonight's version of Logan was the real one, and she had somehow missed it all this time? Was it possible that he really considered himself better than everyone else? Did he really consider her family a lower subspecies? How had she missed it all? Why had she put up with it?

And what about Alec? Why was it so hard for her to admit her feelings about him? She had always been attracted to him, even from that emotionally high-pitched first night. Even as she had pushed him away from her, she had felt the connection open. He was attractive- no one with working eyes could deny that. But she'd seen attractive before. Plenty of times before as a matter of fact. So, it couldn't just be a physical attraction that was affecting her like this. No, it had to be something more, something deeper.

As she puzzled on her feelings for Alec, she began flashing on some of their shared experiences. The way he had looked when he'd been watching out for the X6s, the way he'd responded when he'd caught her with Logan, the desperate look in his eyes when he had eventually chosen her over life, the way he tried to pretend he didn't care what she said or thought about him but then gave it away in his every glance, how he made her laugh and pushed her buttons just so that he could enjoy her reaction, how he joked around with their friends, how he made a point of hanging out with her even when he could have been enjoying himself with some give-it-up female, and the way she felt every time she saw him with some girl who was free to be with him, free to demonstrate how she felt about him.

She began to ponder on their connection. She had never felt something so powerful with another person before. It had started when they'd met in Manticore and had grown since then. No matter how malnourished it was on her side, it had managed to bloom. And now it seemed to be connected to every strong emotion she felt. Even when he wasn't around, she could feel it. It seemed to pull her to him, and him to her. When they had separated at Logan's place and she'd gone back to Manticore, she'd felt it pulling him to follow her. When they'd met up again while saving their kid brothers and sisters, she'd felt it beckoning her to join him, to leave with him. When they'd met up again, she knew it was their connection that had saved her life, and then later his. She'd really had no option- the connection made it so that she'd had to choose him over Logan even back then. She knew it was the connection that had forced him to come back to Seattle. And it was the connection that had made the thrill go through her when they met up again as cat burglars and she'd realized how similar they were, even though she'd denied it. It was even the connection that made her enjoy arguing and fighting with him. The connection was making him the most important person in her life, and it was the fear of their connection that made her push Logan in front of him every chance she got. Somehow the connection was taking over her whole life, and she was beginning to wonder where she ended and Alec began, and if he were to leave if there'd be anything left of her.

Not for the first time, she wondered what the connection really was. What was hiding in it that scared her so much? What was it that made it so powerful? What would she find if she opened it up and allowed herself to really look into it? Curiosity killed the cat ran through her mind, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to know. She was finally ready to know. And so she opened herself to it, and was immediately overtaken with the strongest emotion she'd ever know.


A few minutes later, as she sat with tears in her eyes, Max felt something. Some little nudge on her conscious alerting her to an approaching presence. She didn't have to look to know who it was. She sat quiet and alert as he came up behind her and dropped to the floor beside her. "Hey, Maxie."

She was very pleased with how controlled her voice was, considering what she had just realized, as she responded, "Hey, Alec." She waited for him to say something more, but he seemed content to just sit there. As the silence became more and more uncomfortable for her, probably because of her realization, she stood up, gave him a gentle smile, and said "I'm gonna take off. I know you wanted time for yourself tonight. Probably didn't realize I'd be up here. (She gave him a moment to claim otherwise.) I'll catch you tomorrow." She turned and slowly began walking away.

As he watched her walk away from him, Alec felt a sudden panic rising. He didn't want to be alone right now. He'd realized that when he'd watched her walk away from him earlier that night, despite what he'd thought when she'd first come down the stairs. In fact, that was why he'd come up here- because he knew she might be here. And he realized with surprise, and a little concern, that he didn't want anyone else to be there with him- Max was the only one he felt he could open up to. He wondered at that- he'd always been so scared of opening himself to her. He couldn't stand the thought of her not liking what she found and rejecting him. Of all the people in the world, the one person he couldn't bare to lose was her. But was it possible that she could ever feel the same? He flashed to the way her eyes had looked into his as she'd touched him just hours before. "Max, just one thing. Why are you doing this? I know you said that you want to be there for me like I've been there for you, but is that all? Or is there another reason?"

Her new realization gave her strength, and Max decided to behave extremely uncharacteristically by laying it all out on the line, figuring that was what she was hoping to help him do in return. "I'm tired of watching you waste your life, Alec. You're a wonderful man, and you deserve to be happy. But the shallow fun you get with all these different women isn't going to lead to anything long-lasting. And it's the relationships in life that make it worth living- make freedom worth fighting for. With all you've been through, you're too scared to do anything but ignore the opportunities that are right in front of you. You've got to stop punishing yourself, and allow yourself to be happy."

Something told Alec that she wasn't suggesting any of the other girls he spent time with. "What are you saying, Max?" He felt himself swallowing hard while his heart beat a mile a minute waiting for her answer.

He could see fire flash in her eyes before she spoke. "Me, Alec. I'm talking about the fact that even those blind bastards at Manticore could see that we were meant to be paired. And the fact that we haven't been able to leave each other and make it stick, or send each other away, or even manage to say goodbye to each other just illustrates the point. Maybe we didn't mean for it to be this way, but I spend more time with you than with anyone else, I do more with you, I work more with you, and I work better with you than I do with anyone else. When I need help, I turn to you. When I'm going to do something dangerous, you're the one who I want to have my back. It's like something inside of you is calling to me. I trust you more with anything and everything I do than I do anyone else, and it's not like I chose to feel that way. It just happened, like it's natural, if anything about me could be considered natural. It's like you're-"

"A piece of me. Maybe a whole other half of me," Alec finished. As she had spoken, his mind had started opening to her words. He thought of all the time he had spent with her, wondering how she could possibly not notice how they were coming closer and closer to inseparable. All the EO missions they'd gone on together, all the jams they'd helped each other out of, all the times when he'd wondered if she'd gone to Logan first and him second only when Logan was unavailable or incapable of helping her, all the times that his heart had whispered to him that they were becoming a part of each other whether she wanted it or not and he had refused to acknowledge it- everything took on new meaning. How often he had wondered if she could possibly be feeling their growing attachment- if it was possible that her day was becoming as dependent on seeing him as his was on seeing and spending time with her.

He had tried so hard to ignore the yearnings of his heart- they had started so small that he hadn't even noticed, but as they had spent more and more time together, they had grown so strong that he couldn't go a day without seeing her, without hearing her voice, without touching her and finding some way to make her touch him. He had never thought that he'd feel something so strong again, and yet his feelings for Max easily surpassed any feelings he'd ever had before. He'd been so sure that she didn't feel the same- that her feelings had only barely evolved from revulsion through acceptance to some kind of basic friendship. He had tried to quiet his heart- to remind it that he'd never cared about anything that he hadn't eventually lost, and if he admitted how he felt about her, then eventually he would lose her too. He had tried to block her from his heart, to turn her away from him with his sarcasm and feigned lack of caring, but somehow she had seen through it all. Somehow her personality had clicked with his own- she met his wit with her own, his blasé attitude with confronting assurance that it was only an act. They could understand each other in a way that he had never felt understood before, and it wasn't just because of the Manticorian hell they'd lived through. It was even deeper than that- it was as though they lived and breathed each others' lives, as though they were in fact a part of each other, body and soul. And now his desired other half had confirmed that she felt the same way, and he felt as though he were about to wake up from yet another similar dream to find himself sleeping next to some nameless, faceless woman failing in his attempt to pretend that he was alright and that he didn't need anything more. He looked down into her eyes and saw them alive with hope and promise. Was it possible? Was she real? He reached out to her and cupped her cheek. He felt a thrill go through him as she closed her eyes for just a second and then opened them up into slits. "Do you have any idea what you're saying, Max?"

"I'm saying that you're a part of me, whether I meant to let you be or not. I need you."

"I need to know you're sure, Max. I need to know that you want me... not just need me to help you or be there for you. You've got me for that either way. I need to know that you want me the way that I want you. That I won't wake up tomorrow, or five minutes from now, and find you gone from my life. I can't open up to you without knowing that you're open to me, that you're willing to see where we can go with this."

"I may not have intended to let you into my heart. I may not have wanted you to become a part of me. And maybe I would have fought it if I'd noticed before it was too late. But Alec, you are a part of me, and now, knowing the person that you are, I can't imagine ever wanting it to be any different. I haven't treated you the way I know I probably should've treated someone I care about, but my insecurities haven't made me care about you any less. You are what and who I want. For as long as you'll let me be a part of your life, and in whatever way you want me, I'll be here. (She took a step closer.) Right here. I've never felt more right than when you're beside me. I've never felt more natural and comfortable and myself, and at the same time energized and alive. I've never had more fun than bantering with you, and I've never been as pissed off at another human being before in my life. And since we're being honest, I don't know if it was more because of what you were doing or because of what you weren't doing. Watching you walk off with whichever girl happened to walk in front of you at the right moment drove me crazy. Knowing that she would get a part of you that I probably never would just about killed me."

Alec couldn't stand listening to how he had hurt her. "No. They never got a part of me. The only reason I went with anyone else was because I knew I couldn't be with you. And, in case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty sure I've been subconsciously picking girls that remind me of you- I can't remember the last blonde or redhead I've had anything to do with. And lately, all the girls have been more than capable of telling me off (he smiled as he heard Max's delicate chuckle). But they were all pale imitations, Max. I was wasting time because I didn't think I could be with the only girl I wanted. No one else could ever be you, Maxie. No one else could ever make me jump inside by touching me, or make me melt inside with just her voice. You are the only one who could ever have a part of me; because you are the only one I will ever be meant to be with."

"But what about her?" her voice was soft, full of understanding.

Alec knew at once who she was talking about, and he could tell from her voice that she was willing to share him with Rachel's memory if she had to. He swept his hand through her thick, soft hair before looking back into her eyes. "You were right about her. Her name was Rachel, and she was the first person I ever loved. It was my first deep-cover mission, and I was sent to watch her father. When Manticore decided to take her and her father out, I tried to fight it. I put the bomb under their car, but I couldn't go through with it. I tried to warn her, but instead I just wound up scaring her, and then a secondary team set off the bomb, and everything went to hell. I tried to get to her- to see if she was okay, but I was dragged off for solitary and interrogation. And some reprogramming." His voice had turned hard and sardonic.

"I'm so sorry, Alec. So very sorry. I guess I figured out some of it, but nowhere near all of it. If you want me to leave you alone so that you can deal with it, I will. I don't want you to feel like you have to share it with me." Max's heart was breaking for him, but she felt somewhat selfish because she knew that a large portion of her pain was coming from the confirmation that he loved someone else. She turned to walk away so that he could have the solitary comfort that he had come up here for in the first place.

Alec realized what she was doing, and looking at her face he realized that his information had somehow hurt her. Or at least upset her. "You said you'd understand. That you wouldn't judge me."

"I'm not. Believe me."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"Because you wanted to be alone, and I had to come barging in and demand an explanation. And now I realize that you deserve to be able to deal with this the way you need to. I don't blame you- you did everything you could to help her. And you got punished for it, which if anything proves that you tried to stop them. You're a good person, Alec, even if you have made some mistakes. So, no, I'm not judging you."

"Then don't leave."

"But-"

"I know I went down there tonight thinking I wanted to be alone. But I don't. I came up here looking for you. I want you to stay with me."

She looked up into his eyes and then looked away, "I don't know if I can. I know you're hurting, and I want to be here for you, but I need a few seconds to deal with what you said."

"To deal with what kind of horrible things I did?" he couldn't even look at her, knowing how bad he must seem.

"No. (his eyes darted to hers with her denial) That... (he could hear her swallow as though trying to get something big and painful down her slender throat) you're... in love with someone else," she choked out and then immediately tried to choose the latter of her fight-or-flight instincts.

His hands reached out and grabbed her before she could go more than a foot away from him, holding her in place. "No. I said I loved her. That she was the first person I'd ever loved, and yeah, for a long time I thought that meant that I'd been in love with her. But I don't think it was ever anything more than puppy love, my first crush. It was sweet and good, like she was, and when she died, I had to deal with losing someone I loved, the end of my first crush, and the pain of helping to destroy something so pure all at once. But no matter how much I cared about her, I wasn't in love with her... Max, I'm in love with you, and you're the first and only person I've ever felt that way about."

Max's eyes were shining as she looked up into his intent spheres, "Really? Are you sure?"

"I've never said it before, and I can't imagine saying it to anyone else, ever. I hope I never have to say it again just to convince you," she watched as his beautiful sardonic smirk appeared, "though I imagine I wouldn't mind saying it all the time to remind you. Yes, Max, I love you with all my heart, what there is of the poor damaged thing. I'm not sure I have enough to satisfy you, but I'd love to spend my life finding out."

"You have enough heart and passion and you to satisfy any woman, Alec... I love you, too." If possible, they moved even closer to each other while maintaining eye contact.

"Are you sure, Max? What about Logan?"

"Logan is a good man, and I guess I do love him. But it's like what you said- my first crush. He was so good and upstanding and driven. He refused to settle for anything less than my best, and he helped me become a better person. He made me feel like I had a place in this world, in his world. But I don't think it was ever anything more than that. I don't think he ever accepted me, the real me. He loved the idea of me- we both loved the idea of each other. But we never really loved the reality of each other. And then with all that went down, and then the virus making it so that we couldn't be together- it was like it all made our relationship that much more intense. It was like because we couldn't get together, we decided that it must be that much more important and wonderful to be able to be together. And then I started spending more time with you, and I realized what real feelings were like. I think if Logan and I had just hooked up at the beginning, we'd already be firmly set in the "just friends" stage by now, or maybe we wouldn't even hang out anymore. But whether you and I ever hooked up or not, my relationship with him would never have stayed a romantic one."

"Are you sure?"

She looked deep into the eyes of the man who her heart belonged with and nodded her head. "I'm in love with you, Alec. I've never felt this way before, and I never want to try to find this without you again."

As their eyes slowly closed, and their lips finally met, they knew they were right. That this was right. The most right thing they'd ever found in their lives. And they knew that as long as they were together, they could take on whatever came in their lives. Later, they would deal with telling their friends, most of whom would be happy for them, a few who wouldn't, and one who would have to turn away from them for a while. Later, they would deal with finding Rachel, and Max would find a way to help the girl as she had once helped someone who had meant a great deal to her so that Alec could let go of some of his guilt and finally say goodbye. Later, they would deal with finding the cure to the virus, Alec's initial worry and jealousy, Logan's initial hope and eventual disappointment and resignation when Max proved that it wasn't just the virus keeping them apart. Later, they would deal with the world realizing that transgenics and mutants were among them and help the world find a way to accept them. Later, they would deal with White and all of the other Familiars and they would find a way to save the world from The Coming. And later, they would deal with what being in love and transgenic meant for them and their litter. And they would do it all together. Because when they were together, they could do anything.

But for now, they would focus on each other and the wonder they felt at finding their other half. For now, they would focus on the happiness they would always be able to find in each other's eyes borne of the true love that they'd finally found.


Okay, so I know they may have been a little OOC, but about 1/3 of the way in, I decided to just have them go with it and say everything that I wanted them to. I figured sooner or later they should speak their hearts. Hope you liked.