The dreaded AN: Hey readers! I just wanted to warn you that I've explored something... different here. I feel it's something that should happen (and we could hope to see as the episode 10 bombshell), but it's unlikely that it ever will. Anywho, I'd surely appreciate your input on where you want it to go from here. (Yes, that was a shameless plug for "I WANT REVIEWS!") It's just so much easier to write when you know people like it :) I hope you enjoy this... different take.

P.S. If possible, I'd love someone else to take the idea in this chapter (which I think is pretty obvious) and run with it. I love reading, and I'd like to see what other authors make of it!

Thanks guys, and enjoy!


"Noted, Mr. Deeks. Duly noted."

With Hetty's comment, the team turned to leave. I waited for my partner to ask for a ride, as he was obviously stranded. The whole walk into the parking lot, he didn't say anything, so I broke the silence.

"Need a lift, partner?" I asked lightly, gently bumping his shoulder as we walked.

He sighed.

"Rubbing it in already, Kensi?" he asked, sounding defeated. "A little early, even for you."

"I'm… sorry, Deeks," I replied, confused at his words. I stopped and grabbed his arm. He stopped, but didn't look at me. "I didn't mean-"

"Never mind, Kens," he said, shrugging out of my grip.

Sam and Callen had already left, so it was just the two of us in the parking lot.

He was walking away, just like Jack…

"Don't leave, Deeks," I whispered.

He stopped in his tracks, whole body stiff.

When he spoke, he didn't sound like my partner.

"What did you just say?" he asked. His voice was cold, hard, and just… not Deeks. It worried me even more than the motorcycle.

I knew I needed to say something here. I couldn't avoid it anymore. So I uttered the only words I could manage.

"Don't leave me."

After a long, deafening silence, he turned around. I couldn't help the gasp that escaped my mouth at his expression. He was so angry. I hadn't seen Deeks this angry since we'd rescued him from that dirty cop after that stupid LAPD operation had gone wrong and his partner had been killed. Maybe not even then…

"How," he asked slowly, "can you even say that to me?"

I could tell he was working very hard to keep himself under control.

"I… I just…" I looked down, away from his angry, dark blue eyes. He'd once told me that the reason he never gets angry is because growing up, everyone said he looked like his father, and he never wanted to resemble his dad. Though I'd never seen Gordon John Brandel before, I couldn't help but think he must look an awful lot like the man standing in front of me.

"I'm sorry, Deeks," I said, looking up at him again. "I just… I couldn't take it if you… left."

I looked into his eyes, pleading for him to understand, but instead of softening at my plea, his eyes got harder.

For a long moment, we just stared at each other. It was strange, being around Deeks in silence. And for once, it was me who couldn't take the silence.

"Say something," I pleaded.

"You want me to SAY something?" he shouted. He was shaking, as if this outburst was something that had been held inside for too long. "Fine! I'll SAY something!"

He narrowed his eyes at me a gestured up and down.

"You stand there, pleading with me not to leave you, but YOU LEFT ME!"

His eyes widened, and his whole body froze, as if he hadn't known he'd even thought it.

The moment the words left his mouth, the air left my lungs. I couldn't breathe.

How did I not see it before? All the avoided calls, the weak humor, the biting comments…

And then, my heart was empty as I flashed back to leaving him, bleeding and tied to that chair.

"Deeks," I choked out, reaching toward him, "I'm so sor-"

"Don't," he said, holding up his hand and backing away. "Don't say 'sorry'. Just…" he sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "I get it, okay? I'm a cop, too, so I do get it," he said. "But that doesn't… I mean, it doesn't make it hurt less."

"Look, Kens," he whispered. "I told you I wouldn't leave, okay? And I meant it. That's gonna have to be enough for right now, because Super Deeks? He's kinda… outta commission right now."

He looked down at the ground and kicked at a rock.

I opened my mouth to speak- to tell him that I didn't have a choice, that I'd gotten him out in the end- but no words would come out.

"I think I'm just… gonna head home," he said, looking away from me. "Just, tell the guys I blew it off or whatever." Then he turned and muttered under his breath, "Easy enough to believe that."

And then I watched him walk down the street, presumably toward the bus stop, seven blocks from the mission.

My head told my legs to follow him, to run after him and beg him to forgive me, but my body wouldn't comply. So I just watched him walk away, defeated, because he'd promised to never leave me, and he'd expected nothing but the same in return.

He hadn't left me. I'd left him.