"She's icky." Murtagh said suddenly, glaring at Arya, who was currently slumped over the furthest log they could find. "Murtagh, will you PLEASE stop looking at the ugly little elf, and get ya hott bum over here!!!!!" Lizzie screeched. It was almost a habit now; Lizzie would screech and punch shoulder blades, Erin would scream and kick shins, Eragon would cry out and tickle ribs and Murtagh would make a male-sounding grunt and bite hands. All in all, they were just a bunch of noisy, graphic beings. "I'm sorry, Lizz, but-"

"Yeah ok, shuddup now! HOLY SHIT!!!!! I'M GETTING A RASH!!!!" Lizzie cried, all aquiver. Erin poked her hand several times to confirm the fact, and nodded. "Solemn8!!!!!!" they both cried, and ran off into the trees. "..." Eragon replied to the sudden disappearances. "We've been travelling far too long; it's riddled their minds!!!"

"Yes, well...anyway, Murtagh, I'm going to force you to go to the Varden, along with me and The Girls, just because I basically am too hott to do otherwise, and because I've backed us into a corner of which you have no hope of backing out of without having your head on a pike, and your villagers raped by Mormons, so just follow us and you'll...well, you'll get to the Varden and have YOUR mind riddled by ugly bald twins-known to some as Bob and Ernie- who were only in the special features of the movie because they weren't important enough, which made them think they weren't good enough, so they developed depression and an obsession to salsa dip and I look sexy shirtless!" Murtagh grumbled incoherently for the next few minutes before, "Of course, Murtagh the pack animal-" but his spiel was cut short by Lizzie screaming out, "MY animal!!! Raaaawr!!!!" from somewhere in the trees. "Did she just imply I was a sexual beast?" Eragon choked at the sound of 'sexual', and leant over his knee to try and regain his breath. "Oh, so mature." Murtagh frowned, in that kdjfhksdgh way of his.

&&&

IN THE FOREST
&&&

"Jebus, Lizzie!!!! That's a helluva rash!!!!!"

"Oh, gee, I feel better now, thanks!"

"Just doing my job, Ma'am."

"Yeah, well...i don't need a gacky Eragon lover like you to help!"

"Geeze, just FULL of compliments today, aren't we!"

Lizzie huffed and crossed her arms and muttered something to herself.

"What was that about my mum??? WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?"

"EEEEYAAAAHHHH!!!" screamed Erin like an Indian, then punced on Lizzie. They rolled around, screaming and kicking, then in the mud.

Eragon and Murtagh heard the rabble, and sat on a nearby log, eating burnt popcorn.

"And Lizzie's got Erin in a headlock," cried Murtagh, "ooh! That's gotta hurt! Erin slams Lizzie into the mud, looks like we'll be here for a whil-"

"Shut-up!" Eragon yelled as Lizzie and Erin looked clean and perfect again, as always, despite the fact they didn't bathe because …Well just because! They were magical, they didn't need to bathe!

So they all skipped around for a bit, and decided to play spies.

"I wanna be on Murtagh's team!" cried Lizzie, running over to Murtagh and jumping on his back.

Erin just shook her head and ran over to Eragon.

"This way!" Murtagh hissed, pulling Lizzie over to a thick shrub.

Suddenly, Lizzie's eyes darted around nervously, and she started humming the mission impossible theme song.

DUNN DUNN DUHHHH! That music started to play. THAT music. The music that indicates death in horror movies.

Lizzie abruptly stopped and stood up, hands on her hips.

"Holy shit!" she yelled to the air, "I'm not about to DIE! Loser!" then she hit the air various times and fell asleep.

Murtagh just "Meh" ed, and carried her back to the camp, where Eragon and Erin were discussing ways of dousing Durzie's hair. They had a blue print of Durza, all set out. Erin had a stick, and she was pointing to various parts of Durza and instructing Eragon.

"Orite…We ge' a buckih' o' wa'er, an' we 'it im' over is' ed'!"

Murtagh and Lizzie just stood there saying "WTF?" and shrugging various times.

Then Lizzie new what it was time for, a sing song.

"Okay guys! I decided I'll be singing, This is why Im hot! By MIMS!!!"

The music started to play and Lizzie started dancing and singing really good, and she broke it down oh yes she did! Soon, everyone joined in!

This is why I'm Hot 2x
This is why 2x Uh
This is why I'm Hot (Uh)
This is why I'm Hot 2x Whoo
This is why 2x
This is why I'm Hot

I'm hot cause I'm fly (fly)
You ain't cause you're not (MIMS)
This is why 2x
This is why I'm hot 2x

Verse 1:
This is why I'm hot
I don't gotta rap
I can sell a mill saying nothing on the track
I represent New York
I got it on ma back
Niggas say that we lost it
So I'ma bring it back
I love the Dirty, Dirty
Cause niggas show me love
The ladies start to bounce
As soon as I hit the club
But in the Midwest
They love to take it slow
So when I hit the H
I watch you get it on the floor
And if you needed it hyphy
I take it to the Bay
Frisco to Sac-town
They do it everyday
Compton to Hollywood
As soon as I hit L.A.
I'm in that Low, Low
I do it the Cali way
And when I hit Chi
People say that I'm fly
They like the way I dress they like
(They like my) my attire move crowds from side to side
They ask me how I do it and simply I reply...

Chorus:

Verse 2:
This is why I'm hot
Catch me on the block
Every other day
Another bitch another drop
16 bars, 24 pop
44 songs, nigga gimme what you got
I'm in there driving cars
Push 'em off the lot
I'm into shutting stores down so i can shop
If you need a bird I can get it chopped
Tell me what you need you know i get 'em by the flock
I call ma homie black meet on the ave
I hit Wash Heights with the money in the bag
We into big spinners
See my pimping never dragged
Find me wit different women that you niggas never had
For those who say they know me know I'm focused on ma cream
player you come between you'd better focus on the beam
I keep it so mean the way you see me lean
And when say I'm hot my nigga dis is what I mean

Chorus:

Verse 3:
This is why I'm hot
Shorty see the drop
Ask me what I paid and I say yea I paid a quap
And den I hit the switch that take away the top
So chicks 'round the way they call me cream of the crop
They hop in the car
I tell 'em "all aboard"
We hit the studio they say they like how I record
I gave you black train and I did you wrong
So everytime I see 'em man they tell me that's their song
They say I'm the bomb
They love the way the charm hanging from the neck
And compliments the arm which compliments the ear den comes the gear
So when I hit the room the shorties stop and stare
Den niggas start to hate rearrange their face
Little do they know I keep 'em things by waistside
I reply nobody gotta die
Similar to Lil wizzy cause I got that fire

"I...I like..Eggs..." whimpered Murtagh.

"So thick..." breathed Erin

Everyone just did stuff.

Erin was just...Stuff.

Eragon was just...Stuff.

Lizzie was just...Stuff.

Murtagh was just...stuff.

But Saphira, NOOO!

SHE HAD TO BE DIFFERENT! HUNTING AND FLYING!!!

AWAY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS OF THE SEA!

Lizzie sat down. She was REALLY puffed.

Erin and Eragon were hallucinating, and Murtagh nervously twitched his eye.

They all snuggled up together and slept while Saphira had naughty dreams about Lizzie.

A/N: Cliff hanger of saphira………….!

WHOOP! I hope you like this one, BUT YOU BUMS! YOU BLEEDIN BUMS! HARDLY ANY REVIEWS! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

Thanks to Emmeline for her help!!!!!!