Traveling Home -
Harry was waiting for Snape outside the office and walked with him towards the dungeon. Snape became angry when Harry admitted it was his idea to send them to Hermione's Parents house.
"Look, I see the way you look at her..." Harry said as Snape curled his lip at Harry.
"Fine, but how are going to feel if she gets stuck with someone like Draco or some other unsavory character...Damn it, Sir, listen to me...if you don't marry her, she'll be auctioned off to the highest bidder."
Snape stopped so fast that Harry bumped into him. He turned and grabbed Harry by the collar.
"By whose authority?" He growled in Harry's face.
"The same authority that made up this law to begin with," Harry said firmly. Snape released him but didn't walk away.
"It's not just up to me, Potter. She has to choose to be with me. I'm not going to force myself on her." At Harry's raised brow, he growled, "I didn't force myself on her then I won't force myself on her now."
Harry blushed, "I didn't mean to imply that, I meant either way, she'll be forced into marrying somebody."
"It's still her decision." He muttered as he continued down the stairs.
"Leave that to me," Harry whispered as he turned and raced towards Gryffindor Tower.
Hermione heard the common room door slide open and Harry call up the stairs. She gathered up a few of the shirts she wanted to take with her and descended the stairs. Since the wards were back up, men were not permitted to climb the stairs to the girl's dorm. She was still thinking about everything she would have to pack in her trunk. She figured she would take as much with her as she could...there was no telling how long they'd be there. She felt Harry staring at her as she entered the common room, with a pile of her shirts in her arms, and sat down on the sofa next to him.
"What is it Harry?" She asked, picking up a shirt from the pile and folding it.
"Oh nothing," Harry said casually. "I was wondering what you guys did to pass the time away when you were locked in the chamber." He made a nervous, popping noise with his lips. "Who knew you were saving yourself all that time for Professor Snape."
Hermione glared at him and then smiled embarrassedly. She leaned back against the sofa and signed. "I don't know what happened, Harry. It all happened so fast."
"Wow, he was fast huh, like less than a minute or..."
"I'm serious, Harry! I felt sorry for him because your mum never even kissed him and he had loved her for so long."
"Wait," Harry stammered, "He never even kissed my mum, but he fancied himself in love with her?"
"I think..." Hermione said thoughtfully, "that he never stopped loving the little girl she had been...the little girl who befriended him when he was a sad lonely, little boy. That's who he was holding in his arms and weeping for the day he found her."
Harry sighed heavily and said, "Mione that is so sad."
"We sat around for a while after the doors locked and we knew we were stuck. I started talking to him and realized he'd never even kissed a girl before."
Harry, who had been staring at her in hushed silence whispered, "Then what did you do?"
Hermione looked at him like he had horns sprouting out his ears, "What do you mean what did I do? I kissed him."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that." Hermione acknowledged.
They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, each thinking their own thoughts, when Hermione whispered.
"He is a really good kisser believe it or not."
"Uh, okay, I'll take your word for it."
"When we destroyed the Horcrux, this terrible cloud came out in the image of your mum screaming insults to Professor Snape. He was really affected by it. It felt so overwhelming, sad and lonely...in that moment I realized that the feeling I was experiencing was the loneliness he had felt all those years; wanting Lily to love him. I did the only thing I could think of to snap him out of his horror—I kissed him again. Well the cloud turned into a wall of water and soaked us." She chuckled softly at the memory. "Then we were in each other's arms and I was begging him to take me, practically ripping his clothes off."
Harry jumped up from the sofa, "Okay, I don't need the small details."
"Damn it, Harry, I listened to you when you were confused about Ginny...If it wasn't for my advice, you wouldn't know how to..."
"Okay, I'm sorry, please continue." He sat back down on the sofa and rubbed her back.
"That's not the worst part, Harry. I mean it was painful at first but then it felt really wonderful..."
Harry looked around the room as if he wished he were anywhere but here picturing Professor Snape and Hermione in the heat of passion pawing at each other's naked bodies. He moaned in slight disgust, but Hermione didn't hear him.
"No, the worst part is that when he climaxed," hearing her say this, Harry wanted to sink into the floor, "He called out your Mother's name."
Harry's head snapped around and he stared at her unbelievingly.
"What? You mean as Snape was coming," He couldn't believe he was using those two words in the same sentence, "He cried out, Lilly?"
"Yes" Hermione said, "That ungrateful Bitch never gave him the time of day...Oh God, I'm sorry Harry I didn't mean it. None of it was her fault, not really...Professor Snape always referred to himself as her best friend, and so maybe your Mum didn't really know how he felt about her."
"It's okay, Mione, I know what you mean. I didn't think too kindly of how my Mother didn't really try to help Snape. I mean...if she had been more understanding of him...he might have been my father." Harry said still rubbing her back.
"Thanks Harry," Hermione said sarcastically, "Now I can think of that when I remember him making love to me on the Chamber floor."
Harry closed his eyes, "Please Hermione, I don't need that picture in my mind."
Hermione leaned over and whispered, "He was fucking me so hard that when I came I screamed out his name and my whole body felt..."
Harry got up and started pacing trying to erase the thought of Snape doing that to anyone, let alone Hermione.
Hermione laughed as she picked up another shirt and folded it before adding it to the pile that was growing between them on the sofa, but stopped when he asked, "You're going to marry him, right?"
"I don't know Harry. I mean I don't even know him...I mean I know he can be a real ass, especially in the classroom...but other than that."
"You know he can shag real good."
Hermione rolled her eyes at him and said, "Why do I bother to tell you anything?"
"Look, Hermione, I shouldn't be telling you this, but the Ministry plans to basically auction off all the muggle-borns to the highest bidder. If you think there is the slightest chance you could be happy with Professor Snape, than please marry him. Professor Snape says the decision is up to you, whether you choose him or not."
"He said that? When?"
"Just now, on his way to pack."
Hermione sighed but kept on folding and her clothes, they would be expecting her downstairs soon. She stood up and was preparing to lift the pile of shirts into her arms.
Harry was now standing behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back against him and he whispered in her ear, "Please Hermione do it for the little boy and the lonely teenager who wanted nothing more than to be loved...he's a grown man now...but he is still longing for the love he never found. Promise me, Hermione you'll think about it."
"I'll make you a deal...I promise that if I can survive being at my parents house without killing him, he's a keeper and I'll marry him."
Harry kissed her on her cheek and let her go.
"Don't forget Harry, he still has to survive my parents...you remember them don't you...my parents?"
Harry remembered and felt a moment of pity for Professor Snape. Then he thought of something, "Hey, if he can survive being around Voldemort all those years...he can survive your parents."
"We'll just have to see about that..."
Hermione arrived downstairs to find Professor Snape pacing.
"What took you so long? We still have to get to the train."
"We still have plenty of time, Professor." Hermione said, rolling her eyes at his impatience.
Professor McGonagall came to hug them goodbye and gave them some last minute instructions.
Professor Snape grabbed Hermione by the wrist and pulled her out the door. He held onto her arm as he led her to the Disapparation point. Hermione looked towards the forbidden forest, saw a black-winged horse and said, "I can see them now...I've witnessed death and I can see them."
Professor Snape looked at her questioningly.
"The Thestral…I rode one to London once, I just couldn't see it..."
"Then how did you..."
"Harry put me up on its back and I held on for dear life."
"Harry...yes, I should have known. Wait a minute that was while you were at Hogwarts? What were you doing going to London?"
"We went to the Ministry of Magic to get Harry's prophecy...the night Sirius died."
Snape reached out and held her hand. The gesture surprised her and she squeezed his hand in appreciation.
"I'm thinking we should get used to doing the silly little things couples do so your parents are convinced that we're a couple."
Hermione left her hand in his thinking, 'what a jerk.'
They Disapparated into a deserted alley near the train station. McGonagall believed it would be prudent if they arrived by train. They had a car to themselves so they sat opposite of each other and Hermione took the opportunity to quiz Professor Snape on things like his favorite foods and how he liked his tea. She told him some of her favorite foods and reminded him that she thrived on hugs and intimate contact. Professor Snape rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Maybe," she said emphatically, "if you'd been hugged more growing up you would be a nicer Severus. I'm just trying to at least start out as friends."
Snape's face hardened and he spit out, "Is that what this is all about Miss Granger? Feel sorry for poor little Sniveles and be his friend. I suppose that was a mercy fuck back in the Chamber."
Shocked at his sudden outburst she said, "No, I was just trying to say that I know how you feel. I experienced..."
"What Miss Granger, what have you experienced that can even be compared to the heartache I've suffered all my life? Please share with me...enlighten me, if you will."
Hermione stared at him until his face slackened and he looked away. He hated seeing that sad look in her eyes when he hurt her. He looked back but she was staring out the train window, dusk was starting to fall and he wasn't sure if she was staring at the landscape or her own reflection.
"Hermione, I'm..."
"It was right after you killed Dumbledore and escaped with the other Deatheaters..." She began by telling him the how Dumbledore's death affected them all, how she had warned Harry about the Half-Blood Prince's Diary and that she didn't think the Half-Blood Prince had been a nice person. She told him of her decision to accompany Harry on his journey because that's what friends do. Her decision to erase herself from her parents lives and how frightening it was to rely on two teenage boys to keep her safe. She told of how the Horcrux affected them all. She turned to look at him and attempted to explain how the necklace had tried to suck their very souls from them. The despair she felt when Ron left them and the fear of being chased by Nagini at Godric's Hollow. She told him everything about their journey to find and destroy all the Horcruxes including Harry dancing with her in the tent trying to cheer her up.
Snape felt a pang of jealously. He wasn't sure why he suddenly wished he had been able to dance with her and try to remove the sadness he saw lingering in her eyes. He closed his eyes as she described being tortured by Bellatrix. He had seen it in her memories and having her retell it just made him feel like more of an ass than he'd originally felt by declaring that she didn't know what suffering was.
He tried to think of something positive to say, but could only come up with, "I brought the sword to Harry when you were in the forest."
"I know," Hermione said absentmindedly, still lost in the past, "When Harry told me the Patronus was a doe—I knew it was yours." Snape shook his head wondering how she knew.
"That summer, when the Order began meeting at Sirius' house, I was coming up the stars and saw you cast a Patronis. I don't remember why you did; I just remember seeing it and thinking how graceful your Doe Patronis was." Hermione explained softly.
"But you never told anyone I brought you the sword...even when Bellatrix was torturing you to find out where you had obtained the sword?"
Hermione just stared at her reflection as it was too dark to see outside the window now.
"That's why I made the Veritaserum. I wanted to give you a way to tell your side before you were judged and sentenced. If Dumbledore had trusted you enough to guard the sword...then I figured he probably left a message with you for Harry. I was right about you all along..."
Hermione got up to exit the car but Snape reached out and grabbed her around waist.
"Please let me go..." Hermione whispered.
Snape pulled her down onto the seat next to him, refusing to let her leave. She held her hands in her lap and they sat in silence. Eventually she leaned her head against his shoulder...he stiffened but didn't ask her to move.
"You don't have a monopoly on pain and heartache Professor. It took every fiber of my being not to tell Bellatrix the truth about the sword...even when she did this."
Hermione pulled up her left sleeve and showed him the word, 'Mudblood' that Bellatrix had carved into her arm. She felt him tremble with rage but then his emotions were under his control again.
"If you had told Bellatrix about me using a Patronis to lead Harry to the sword, she would have told Voldemort I was helping Harry and he would have killed me right away." He gently picked up her arm and looked at the words that were beginning to scar.
"Why didn't you have Madam Pomfrey remove it? I could..."
She returned to her seat across from him and looked out the window again.
"I can remove it Hermione. I can make an ointment that will…"
"That's also why I came up with the plan to come into the castle and use the Veritaserum on you. I knew we could keep you safe as long as you were in the castle."
"Hermione you couldn't have known for sure that I would be safe in the castle. Voldemort and his followers brought the battle inside."
Hermione began to sob, "That's why I sealed the door after we entered...to keep you safe. Once Voldemort knew you had betrayed him, you never would have left the castle alive."
"Hermione I could have..."
"I risked everybody's lives to save yours. Maybe Lupin or Tonks would still be alive if you were there to fight alongside them but I knew you had a mark on your head." Hermione fought to regain her composure. "I let my feelings for you cloud my judgment."
Snape sat there staring at Hermione in shocked silence as Hermione continued staring out the window.
"Did Harry..."
"Nobody knew..."
"How did you seal the door?"
"I slipped away from the others and visited the chamber first. It only took a few seconds to charm the door. Then I joined up with them and we entered the great hall. I charmed the door so it would close and not reopen until I was ready. I just had to make sure you would think the door closing was by accident. I have a great memory...I heard Harry telling the words to Ron and memorized them."
"So the read my mind part..."
"Was a ruse…but I had to make it believable."
Hermione took a tissue out of her bag and wiped her tears.
"No one has ever done anything like that for me." Snape said incredulously. "Why? Why go to all that trouble for me?"
"You risked your life constantly to spy for the Order...I figured it was time someone did something for you."
"And? Is that the only reason?"
She became thoughtful, wondering how much she should reveal.
"Hermione, you can tell me anything...I am the great Secret Keeper, after all..." Snape whispered.
Hermione sighed, as if admitting this out loud was painful, "After you killed Professor Dumbledore, I was sent by Professor McGonagall to deliver a message to Professor Trelawney. I didn't mean to insult her, but in case you don't know this...I have a hard time holding my tongue when something bothers me."
Snape smiled, saying nothing...yes he'd noticed...on many occasions.
"I called her a fraud. Yes, I know that was uncalled for, since she is a Professor and all." She said seeing him tense up for a moment. "I told her we needed to concentrate on the world of the living...since you had killed Dumbledore and we all felt lost." He started to speak, but she forged on, "She gave this weird prophesy about you...I knew right away it was about you and I couldn't get it out of my head. I mean, usually she is so vague you can take any meaning out of what she says, but this time was different. Her voice got all raspy and her eyes unfocused...It was scary." Hermione shivered, remembering how cold the room had become when Trelawney was speaking.
"Well...what did she say? How do you know it was about me?" He hated to admit it, but she'd really captured his attention with this weird prophesy business, especially since it was supposed to be about him.
Hermione closed her eyes and repeated the exact words Professor Trelawney had used, "The night of the great war approaches...the double agent will meet his death on the fangs of the big snake...Voldemort will slay him in vain for the elder wand knows it's true master...when his true loyalty is revealed...many will weep for the Half-Prince."
Professor Snape had grown strangely quiet and Hermione saw that all the color had drained from his face.
Yes, he thought, The Dark Lord would have thought it necessary to kill him in order to get the wand to obey him. The fact that he would have used Nagini to do it, suddenly made him feel sick to his stomach.
Hermione was speaking again, "I knew you had referred to yourself as the Half-Blood Prince in your potions journal and when Harry told me a Doe Patronis led him to the sword, I put it all together."
She had Snape's full attention now.
"We were discussing the elder wand...we had just realized that Dumbledore had it the whole time, I mean after he won it in his duel with Grindelwald. Harry said he saw Draco use Expelliarmus to take Dumbledore's wand before he died. I started to reason, to myself of course, Ron and Harry sometimes have trouble following my reasoning."
She ignored his smirk and continued, "Anyway, I reasoned that if Draco disarmed Dumbledore, and then Harry disarmed Draco at the Manor then..."
"The elder wand would see Harry as its rightful owner…bloody, brilliant reasoning, Hermione." Snape whispered in awe.
She blushed at his compliment, "That's the first time you've ever given me a true compliment." Professor Snape gave her a sad little smile.
"Anyway, it all made sense after that. Ollivander the Wand Maker told Voldemort that you had to kill another wizard in order to truly possess that wands power. Of course, he later confessed to us, after we escaped the Malfoy Manor and went to Bill and Fleur's, that he had lied...death wasn't necessary. Voldemort knew you killed Dumbledore, so he would eventually come to the conclusion that he would have to kill you in order to truly possess it...and since he couldn't use the wand to kill you...you know because a wand won't kill its own Master, he'd have to do it some other way..."
"Nagini," He whispered.
"Nagini," She replied with a nod.
Snape looked at her as if afraid to ask, "How did you come about so much Veritaserum?"
"I made it myself."
At his doubtful look, she said, "I already had the idea in my head that we had to find a way for you to reveal your secrets, so to speak, before Voldemort had a chance to kill you. I figured the only chance we'd have was the night we planned to gain access to the castle. I knew if you escaped us and went to him, Voldemort would kill you to posses the wand. So, I used Harry's invisibility cloak," She saw his eyes grow large, "Wow, I seem to be spilling all my secrets to you..." His eyes had narrowed in suspicion so she rushed on. "I used the cloak to go into town and buy provisions periodically. I would leave the money on the counter, so it wasn't like I was stealing or anything..."
He smiled at her honesty; even when invisible she would not allow herself to take something that wasn't hers.
"There was an apothecary shop in that town, so I went in under the cape, got the supplies I needed and left the money on the counter. I started making it in the tent as I knew we had found a secure location and wouldn't have to leave soon, it takes a whole moon cycle, as you already know, to prepare. I made straight up Veritaserum in the red vial so you would not be able to twist or hide your memories and tweaked the serum in the blue vials to receive memories instead of projecting them."
Snape was staring at her now making her feel a bit uncomfortable.
"I'm smart." She finished.
"It appears I have under estimated your intelligence, in the past." Snape muttered.
"Wow another compliment. Who are you and what have you done with Professor Snape?" She laughed.
He smirked at her comment and said, "So you came up with an elaborate plan to save me from my senseless death."
Hermione couldn't look at him for fear that she would see disappointment on his face she had, after all, rewrote his ending. He shouldn't be alive now. The same thought had just crossed his mind.
"I knew you wouldn't voluntarily stay out of the fight, so I removed you from it." She finally chanced to look at him. "Are you disappointed in me? I mean I should have..."
Snape smiled at her and said, "I am far from disappointed, Hermione, however I'm not sure I am comfortable with owing you my life...I don't want to give you any false hope about love or a happy marriage. That night in the Chamber I was making love to Lily...not you. I'm sorry if that pains you. I just don't see anything in common with us and I think I'd be happier with a woman closer to my own age." Hermione scoffed but he let it go. Snape sat up straighter and said, "I will keep up my end of the bargain though and pretend to be interested in courting you."
"Actually," Hermione said with a sigh, "I'm just relieved that you didn't give me a lecture about changing the timeline or such nonsense as that. I got enough of that from Professor McGonagall that time I changed...never mind, Professor, That's a story for another time. Besides I've always believe we make our own fate...by our choices in life...and I think I've shared enough secrets with you for one night. Don't worry about me...I will find someone to marry me, when the time becomes necessary. Perhaps I'll see if Luna's father is available."
"He's likely the same age as me," Snape scowled in disbelief at her interest in Lovegood.
Hermione rolled her eyes, "Age is so overrated, besides, he was nice to me when I went to his house and had tea with him."
For some unknown reason, Snape felt a lump in his throat. "When was that? When did you have tea with him?"
Hermione looked out the window and remembered how desperate he had been to save his daughter. Any man who could raise a daughter on his own was worth taking a second look at. Mr. Lovegood had long blonde hair and was rather attractive.
When she didn't answer, Snape thought she made it up to try and make him jealous...what did he care? The guy was nuts, let him have her. For some reason, though, his heart hurt at the thought of Lovegood having her as his wife.
He tried again, "If you're trying to make me jealous, Hermione, you're wasting your time." She still didn't answer and he was getting nervous. "Did you hear me? You're wasting your time."
Hermione was only half listening. After what he said about him not wanting to marry her, she could care less what he had to say. As far as she was concerned, he could kiss her ass.
She reasoned that she had rescued Luna, well, technically Dobby had. Maybe Luna had told her Dad and he would be grateful enough to meet with her. She remembered how much fun he'd been at the wedding and how sad and worried he'd been at losing Luna. Of course, there were lots of guys that owed her...except for Draco Malfoy; she wasn't interested in him…not like that. She had been communicating with him secretly and he was supposed to contact her once she got settled at her parent's home...what would Snape say when he found out? She wondered. She looked at him and perceived that he was staring at her as if trying to figure out what she was thinking.
"You asked me why I didn't get this healed before it became a scar..." Hermione said, pulling her sleeve up and rubbing her scar.
"I still can..."
"No, I'm keeping it as a reminder. A reminder of how fear can make people do terrible things. It makes strong people weak and rational people into monsters. Funny thing about monsters, Professor, they are all around us, we just have to know how to recognize them or they'll destroy us. She was staring off into the distance and Snape marveled once again that he was wrong regarding her not experiencing loss and pain. Hermione was far away thinking of the kind old woman who had transformed into the snake and attacked them at Godric's Hollow. "Sometimes monsters even hide behind the faces of good people..."
"Hermione, perhaps I was too quick to say I would rather marry..."
The Conductor walked by and announced that they were at their destination.
Hermione shook her head, as if to clear her thoughts, "Sorry for all the doom and gloom Professor, I'm sure you've had enough to last you a lifetime."
He tried to tell her again that maybe he'd been too quick to say he wouldn't marry her, they were after all supposed to take this time to get to know one another, after all.
"It's time to meet your pretend future in-laws", Hermione said with a wink. She had already jumped up and grabbed her carry-on. She'd show him…she was going to use this time to relax and maybe spend some time with Veronica. Apparently he thought she would be begging him to marry her, well, she had lots of wizards to choose from. He'd be lucky if anyone gave him the time of day. Someone did want him dead after all...not everybody believed he was the good guy Harry was professing him to be.
