title: The Dating Game
authors: ohwhatsherblanket
pairing(s): …SasuSaku, maybe some others
summary: "Aa." Kakashi's lone eye crinkled in amusement. "It would
appear that the two of you are doing 'The Dating Game…"
disclaimer: So, um, none of it is ours. NONE.
notes: Thanks for all the reviews, guys. This update was a lot quicker, yeah? This story is ridiculously addictive to write. XD
Naruto shifted awkwardly at the tension at their table.
He could feel the unadulterated rage radiating off of Sasuke.
He coughed nervously and smiled at Sakura.
"So Sakura-chan, why did you invite me and Shikamaru out for lunch?" he asked, stuffing his face with a loaf of bread.
"We invited Shikamaru," Sasuke replied in an eerily calm voice before Sakura could open her mouth. He took a piece of bread from the basket in the middle of their table. "You just tagged along. You know Naruto, when you come along to someone's lunch or dinner or house, you shouldn't go around touching stuff. It's rude."
Sakura flushed slightly.
"Well it's also rude to not be kind to guests." Sakura forced a grin. "It's also rude to keep people waiting, and then expect them to wait for them still, the extra five minutes, hours, days, years." She shook her head with a mock-sigh and sipped on some water. "People can't wait forever."
Shikamaru cleared his throat to gain their attention to no avail.
Sasuke glared back at her defiantly.
"Regardless of whether or not someone is waiting for another person that does not mean they should go around touching the other person's stuff just because they are bored."
"Well maybe they're not bored," Sakura hissed back. "Maybe they were fed up and tired and annoyed and hurt and, and… Well maybe the other person's stuff was just really, really pretty, okay?!"
Sasuke snorted. "What is this person, five? Just because something looks nice doesn't mean you should touch it."
"Well just because someone can be devoted for some time doesn't mean forever!"
"Hey…"
Shikamaru coughed.
"So why was I invited to this lunch that I was so not late for?"
Sakura's face reddened a bit when she noticed how aggravated she and Sasuke were getting. They were so far out of their seats, trying to prove points to each other.
"Um…" Sakura smoothed the cloth napkin she had put on her lap, which had wrinkled during her 'fight' with Sasuke. "We need you to help us with our project. We're making an episode of 'The Dating Game'. You are going to be our guy, and then we can hold auditions to find, maybe, three or four girls to be our contestants."
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at her.
"So you want me to work with…"
He glanced from the tense and angry Sasuke to the tense and angry Sakura.
"…you two?"
They nodded.
"Yep."
Shikamaru made a face but he had faith.
Sasuke and Sakura were his friends—
"Well… Sure, why not?"
But why did he feel like he sold his soul to the devil?
-
The Dating Game
Chapter 3
Lover I Don't Have To Love
-
Sakura crumpled her napkin into a ball, and stood up.
"I'll be right back," she said, directing the comment to Shikamaru and Naruto, who were sitting across from her. She made sure Sasuke knew that she was snubbing him on purpose.
Not that he took it quietly.
"Where do you think you're going?"
She turned to him, a blank smile pasted on her face. Her hands were clenched into tight fists, her knuckles were white, and her voice, silken steel.
"I'm going to freshen up. If that's all right with you, your Esteemed Majesty." She stalked off, back ramrod-straight, steam all but billowing from her ears, muttering epithets under her breath. Sasuke merely rolled his eyes at her theatrics, and turned back to his friends, who had remained silent through their exchange.
Naruto squinted
(in that precise way he did before everything inevitably went to hell)
and asked,
"What did you do to Sakura? She's never been that pissed at me, even."
Sasuke huffed irritably. He should have known this would happen—that the second Sakura was gone, Naruto would pester him with questions that were clearly none of his business, so he could fix it, and they could all go back to being bright and shiny, or some such nonsense.
The boy had such a Jesus-complex.
"How the hell should I know? She's probably on her period, or something."
Shikamaru snorted.
"You can do better than that, Sasuke. If you're going to lie, you might as well make it convincing."
"Yeah, you bastard! You must have done something really stupid if she's that pissed. She didn't even give me the Look of Death, that one time Kiba dared me to go on a panty-raid and I took her pink, lacy—"
"Shut. Up. Now."
Sasuke turned around to see Sakura, clearly seething—and faintly blushing—at what Naruto almost revealed. She glared at him for a few more moments, before turning her attention to Shikamaru, who looked at her with wary eyes.
"Are you free later at around six?"
He raised his brow at her, and thought for a moment. He had a doctor's appointment, but that could easily be rescheduled. Sakura didn't look like the kind of person he wanted to disappoint at that particular moment.
"Yes."
"Good. We'll have auditions. Sasuke's house. Be there at 5:30."
Before Sasuke could protest—just who the hell did she think she was, volunteering his house like she owned it, project be damned, who the hell, really—Naruto kicked his shin under the table, and made a not-so-discreet slicing motion across his neck.
"All right." He stood up, hands coming up to rub the nape of his neck. "Is that all?"
"Yep. See you later, then."
"Bye."
He left, and then there were three.
Naruto looked at her with pleading eyes, clearly forgetting his earlier warning to Sasuke about aggravating her further.
"I want to help, too! Can I?"
Sakura arched her brow at him.
"Don't you and Ino have your own project to work on?"
The blond waved his hand dismissively.
"We're going to the sex place this weekend, so no worries! Maybe I can be a judge," he trailed off, hoping Sakura would accept his offer. He needed to find out what Sasuke had done to upset her. If she was this mad, it promised to be entertaining.
At least, for him, anyway.
"…maybe."
This time, Sasuke would not be silenced. He turned to her, more than just a little annoyed.
"Who the hell made you group leader?"
She leaned in, close enough that their noses were almost touching. Had he been a lesser man, Sasuke would have gulped at the feral look in her eyes. As it is, he was just infuriated—by her high-handedness, by the project, by the sight of her intertwined with—
"Do you have a problem with that?"
"What if I do?"
Sakura growled.
"Deal with it," she bit out, before turning away and facing Naruto.
"We'll see you then. Don't you dare be late."
"Ri-right. I'm going to go now. Bye." And with that, he left hastily, clearly wanting to avoid the eruption of Mt. Sakura. He was curious, yes, but he sure as hell wasn't suicidal.
When they were finally alone, Sakura raised up a hand before Sasuke could say anything else. The fight had left her, and now, she just looked tired.
"Can we finish this later? I've…got somewhere I need to be."
He narrowed his eyes at her in suspicion.
"And what might that be?"
"It might be none of your concern. I'll see you later, Sasuke." She picked up her green handbag, and walked away, leaving him to stare at her back.
-
Sakura tapped her green painted nails against the steering wheel of her Highlander with a frustrated look on her face. Knowing she wasn't going to be going anywhere for the next good few hours, she put the car into park and took the key out of the ignition.
She was in a bit of a pickle.
"It's not like I need to apologize," she muttered, now shaking her leg. "He was the one being a major prick, not me."
Sakura shook her head defiantly.
"He should apologize."
Her nose crinkled when she made a face of confusion.
"But I was an asshole, too…"
With a loud groan, she slapped the wheel, careful not to hit the horn.
"Ugh!"
Sakura reached into her handbag and took out her Blackberry, then stuffed it into her denim jacket before stepping out of the SUV and slamming the door.
Hard.
"Stupid Sasuke," she hissed, stomping to the door of his house. "Stupid Sasuke and his stupid boy penis and his stupid, stupid need to always be in control." She ground her teeth together madly before knocking on the door hard. "And his stupid boy period, and his stupid pretty hair, and his stupid pretty face. He's so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
When the door opened to reveal a slightly but not really disgruntled Itachi, Sakura's anger died down a bit.
"Can I help you?"
Hell yes, you can help me!
Sakura shook her head slightly to rid herself of any dirty thoughts.
"Yes. I mean no. I mean, you can help me. But not like that. I don't need help like that. I'm offended that you would think I need help like that."
She died a little inside after noticing his amused smirk.
"I…"
Sakura sighed.
"Um, is Sasuke here?"
"No, he is not." Itachi shook his head, appearing a tad bit solemn, but Sakura knew better. "Would you like to come in and wait for him? He should be getting home in about half an hour. He went to buy some new sets of locks…"
Sakura smiled slightly at his words.
That is so Sasuke…
She looked forward at Itachi moving to the side of the doorway as an invitation to come inside.
Sakura gulped nervously.
Alone time.
With Itachi.
Alone time with Itachi.
Sakura nodded and went inside. He led her towards the kitchen, after offering a drink like a proper host, and after she took one step inside the kitchen, she gave him a cross look, trying to look as frightening and intimidating as she could.
(which, really, wasn't very much at all, but she tried)
"You just want to make out with me again," she hissed.
His smirk grew and the venomousness in her voice lessened.
"So?"
Sakura sat on a bar stool, glaring at Itachi defiantly, her posture straight and her lips pulled in a straight line.
Itachi leaned over slightly against the kitchen counter, staring her down.
"I'm not going to make out with you."
He made a sound of amusement while walking around the counter, still looking at her like she was his prey.
"You say that now…"
As he came closer, Sakura put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him.
"No, I'm not going to make out with you! You are Sasuke's brother." Sakura poked him in the chest hard. "That fact makes this even dirtier and even more horrendously scandalous. No more kissing. Kissing, between you and me? Yeah, so not gonna happen—"
They both looked to the side when they heard a car door slam outside.
"Sasuke's here," Sakura stated tonelessly, somehow feeling like she'd won an unacknowledged competition. "Now—Hey!"
She frowned confusedly when Itachi began to drag her away and pushed her into another room. She looked around and shook her head at him incredulously.
"I'm sorry, but why are we in a pantry?"
Itachi stepped closer to her, knowing that Sakura being Sakura would keep stepping back until she had no place left to move.
"What are you doing?!" she hissed furiously.
"I have a proposal for you."
Sakura arched a fine pink eyebrow at him as though he were insane.
INSANELY HOT!
"Excuse you? What kind of proposal involves you pushing me into a dark, enclosed—oh. Oh."
"You and me," he said in his sure, smooth voice. "We are going to use each other. For sex."
Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed and Sakura smacked him hard on the shoulder.
"And why exactly would I want to have sex with you?!" she whispered loudly.
He smirked and lowered his face until his lips were nearly touching her ears.
"I look almost exactly like my brother."
Sakura flinched.
"You're in love with him, aren't you?"
There was a small silence until Sakura looked back up at him and met his eyes.
"The pants will stay on," she ordered through clenched teeth, poking him with every word spoken. "Kissing, groping, touching, making out, whatever, all of that, maybe, okay. But my pants? Yeah, these babies are staying on." Sakura nodded vigorously, struggling to believe her own words. "Now—"
"Shut up."
"Excuse me?!"
Itachi rolled his eyes.
"You are very annoying."
"Your face is annoying."
And pretty. And hot. And sexy, and beautiful, and—
Itachi looked at her thoughtfully.
"Childish. Absurd, even," he murmured, almost to himself. "But then, you're not in here because of your sparkling wit."
"Hey, what's that supposed to—mmph!"
Apparently, her earlier warning had done nothing to curb Itachi's interest in that-which-lay below-the-belt (the one that had somehow ended on the pantry floor). One of his hands had made itself comfortable in the small of her back, where it pressed her impossibly closer to his body, his fingertips brushing underneath the hem of her shirt to flirt with the smooth skin underneath. The other was tangled in her pink locks, which would have been something which caused him to tug at the pink strands at his slightest movement. After about the fifth time—with some effort—she pushed him away.
"What the hell is your problem? Do you like your girls bald, or something?"
He stared at her, still a little dazed. Sakura allowed herself a moment of mental celebration—I shook the hot guy up, HELL YEAH!—before going back to being righteously upset.
"What are you talking about?"
She glared at his ring—a simple, white, red-faced one that she'd never seen him without—and angrily pointed to her hair.
"Your ring keeps getting caught in my hair, and every time you move your hand, I feel six strands being pulled out!"
In response, Itachi leaned in, and put his mouth against the junction of her shoulder and neck.
"We have approximately three minutes before Sasuke comes down here to get one of his damned tomatoes. Do you really want to spend that time talking about your hair, or my ring?"
Point thus proven, he stopped her protests with his mouth, and soon, she'd forgotten why she thought it was necessary to mention something so trivial, as the current status of one or two (or three, or six, or ten) strands of her hair. Itachi had just moved his lips down to her neck when she heard them.
Footsteps.
Approaching the pantry.
Footsteps were approaching the pantry.
Somewhere, in the midst of her fried synapses, something in Sakura's brain managed to tell her that being caught with her, um, pants
(kind-of-almost-not-really)
down in the pantry was a bad thing.
She pushed against his shoulders in a sad, sad attempt to get him to stop
(and oh, nnng, a little to the left, please!)
doing thatto her pulse point, and to stick that tongue of his back where it belonged, damn it, because—
The door swung open.
Fortunately, it wasn't Sasuke—
"…Hey…guys. What's up?"
It was Naruto.
Whooooo.
Review guys. Yeah.
