Disclaimer: Still own nothing

Just wanted to say thank you for the reviews people have been giving me. I am very much open to suggestions :) and thank you to GreysCalzonalover for beta(ing) my work.


Placing Arizona back on Mark's bed had apparently been the wrong thing to do, in fact attempting to let go of her had been difficult.

"Arizona you need to let go" the only reply was a desperate shake of the blondes head.

"Sweetheart..." with a sigh Callie swept Arizona comfortably into her arms. With one arm around her back and the other under her legs, Callie sat on the edge of the bed and held her close.

"You need to lie down... we need to go to sleep... Mark needs to... to..." well this was uncomfortable, she should be angry, really angry at them both for this, what had they been thinking, but right now she was hurting, the woman she loved, the woman she had been fighting with for the last few weeks, was in her arms too scared to let go.

Callie couldn't think about what had possessed either of them to consider having sex, currently she wasn't aware of the full circumstances or how far this (what can only be described as an experiment) had gone, but she was worried about this woman and recalling Mark's expression made her chest tight.

She released another sigh, clutching Arizona to herself more securely she stood up and walked to the door, twisting the handle with someone in your arms proved quite difficult, but eventually determination won out. Stepping into the living room she watched Mark become more alert. He instantly rose to his feet reaching the front door before Callie did.


Resting his head against the back of the sofa his mind was swimming. Guilt, pain, confusion, trepidation, sadness, every bad feeling seemed to be going through his mind right now.

He was knocked from his self-tormenting by the rustling of his bedroom door, he watched his best friend step out with her ex wrapped in her arms with an obvious destination in mind. After hearing the first struggle he decided it would be easier and quicker to assist getting the women to their... now Arizona's apartment.

Opening each door for Callie he entered the bedroom, She slipped past him and he watched her attempt to settle Arizona into the bed. He too had noticed the lack of anger, but right now he could see her struggling with this, her face and eyes revealed more that he thought she wanted too.

"What do you need me to do?" He knew the answer could go both ways, either she would demand he leave or she would actually need him to do something. Arizona had remained relatively quiet up until she had nearly been released from Callie's arms. And right now she was fighting the release and she started to whimper again. His heart broke seeing the tear trickle down Callie's cheek; they had truly messed up, all of them. Something had to be done to rectify this.

He walked through to the bathroom and switched on the shower, he checked the temperature and walked back out. Moving around behind Callie, he checked each of her pockets for her phone and anything that shouldn't get wet. He thought about taking Arizona into his own arms, but everything was telling him she wouldn't like it. He watched Callie step out of her shoes, but wasn't going to just watch her attempt to remove her socks, he did it for her.

Standing back up in front of her, their eyes met. "I'm sorry" he whispered in Callie's ear and kissed her cheek tenderly, before leaning down to kiss Arizona's as well as sweeping some hair away from her face which was still flustered pink. "I'm going to get Arizona's things and you something to wear tonight, I'll leave them on the bed and make sure to lock the door on my way out."

Leaning down to kiss Arizona's cheek herself, she caught Mark's eye before he turned to leave, "Thank you" it almost caught in her throat, but it rasped out. He nodded and left. She took them through to the bathroom and kicked the door shut behind her.


She thought Callie was going to try and put her down again, instead they entered the shower cubical and let the hot water wash over them. Eventually she felt them sink down the wall to the shower floor. At first she thought she had started crying again or was on the verge of another panic attack, but she soon realised it wasn't her, the body she could feel shaking was her Calliope's.

Remaining in her ex lover's neck she whispered the same words over and over, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry." Eventually crying again herself. She had been so worried... scared that Callie would be angry with herself and Mark she hadn't thought she would cry. Maybe eventually she would cry but not right now, not in a shower they had made love in countless times, not in each other's arms.

Being in a soaking wet dressing gown was not the best feeling against her skin, she wanted to remove it, but she suddenly had an awareness of her nudity underneath and although they had been naked together countless times, she was uncomfortable and embarrassed. Trying to recollect and finally remembering how she had came to being robed sent more discomfort her way. The evening's events came tumbling back to her two-fold.

Mark – sex – pain – panic- Callie – panic – comfort – warmth - scared – scared... it was too much and once again she was hyperventilating in Callie's arms. The dressing-gown was making her feel claustrophobic, Callie's arms were making her feel imprisoned.


Recognising the situation as a repetition of Arizona's earlier panic attack, Callie reacted quickly. Pushing Arizona's body away from her own and snug between her legs, she ripped the dressing gown from her body. She reached up to cool down the shower. It was currently too hot, but turning it down too low had the potential to send Arizona into shock and knocking it off completely had the potential to make them both ill, depending on how long it would take to calm her and get them both dried off.

"Calm down Ari!"

"Just breathe... in and out... that's all you need to do... in and out"

Callie found it discomforting not being able to see Arizona this time around, but they were together in familiar surroundings. And Arizona settled much quicker.

"That's right, just breathe through it Arizona."

"I'm sorry... so... so... sorry" she whimpered as her body fought against sobs and desperately for air.

"shhh... shhh. Sh... just calm down."

Arizona calmed and they just sat there. Arizona's bare back was flush again Callie's clothed front. It was her turn to realise how uncomfortable wet clothes were when they clung to your body.

"We need to get out of the shower." They were both exhausted; neither wanted to move but knew they had too. Arizona just nodded, allowing Callie to move her forward slightly allowing for room to get up. Worry flashed over her eyes as Callie exited the cubicle. But as soon as she left she came back, switched off the shower and held a towel open for Arizona to walk into.

Securing the towel she led them back into the bedroom. Callie watched Arizona look around herself warily before sitting on the side of the bed with a forlorn look on her face. Callie stripped out of the clothes she had on, dried herself and into the pyjamas Mark had left on the bed. All the while Arizona didn't move. With a quick glance around the room there were none of Arizona's sleep wear to be seen. Callie moved over to the dresser.

Pulling out an old top she had been missing, a smile slipped onto her face. Turning quickly she caught Arizona watching her, but she quickly lowered her gaze again. Picking out some loose bottoms, Callie shut the draw and knelt in front of her ex.

"We are going to put these on and get into bed... and just so you know, I have been wondering where this had gone for quite some time." She watched a small smile spread across the blonde's lips, not enough to encourage dimples but enough to reduce some worry. Finally Arizona made eye contact. Instead of talking, they kept the eye contact while Arizona dried off and Callie helped her into her pyjamas. She passed Arizona a bobble and the both tied up their still wet hair.

Turning down the cover the pair got into their usual sides. It felt like any other time, they had their routine and they were sticking to it. However, Callie wouldn't allow Arizona to turn away from her. For now, she wanted to look at her a little longer. She was exhausted from the emotions and the struggling Arizona had put up, she could only guess at Arizona's tiredness.

Cupping Arizona's cheek as the blonde once again attempted to turn onto her other side she spoke "Don't turn away from me... please"

"I can't... I don't... I... What have I done!" Arizona fumbled over her words as her eyes glazed over for the multiple time today.

They were not going to have a decent conversation tonight, they weren't going to get much sleep either. Arizona would calm down and snuggle into Callie but after 10, 20 minutes she would start crying again.

Callie would always hold her tighter when she felt the blonde's body shake against her chest, the only thing she was grateful for was that Arizona could not see her crying too. It broke her heart to see the love of her life's heart breaking, for the guilt she was no doubt feeling and anything else that comes from propositioning a man to have sex with you, only for it to fail so badly. They definitely needed to talk, Callie needed to know what had actually happened. Her imagination was doing her no good.


Eventually they fell asleep, at a guess they'd had no more than 3 hours before the sun shone through the window; neither of them had thought to shut the curtains. It was not a priority when they got into bed, but now they both wished that darkness could surround them for a little while longer. Both hoping against hope the other wasn't awake. With morning came talking and they were sure this would cause pain.

Arizona slipped from the bed after untangling herself from her ex. Everything felt heavy, her body, her eyes, her mind. She was tired, scared, traumatised. She didn't want to talk it out with Callie or anyone. To be completely honest, yesterday seemed like a good idea, Mark and sex seemed like a good plan. But right now she could not think of what possessed her to do it. She felt ashamed of herself, for the pain she was going to put Callie through, for the guilt Mark had felt yesterday and probably for some time to come and for doing the one thing she had praised herself for not doing; sleeping with a man.

All reasoning that was there yesterday was gone today.

She sighed and watched the bedroom door open revealing the beautiful woman she was in love with, who she had wanted a family with... her shoulders sagged...who she had left in a crowded airport pleading for her to stay. Neither could summon up the courage to smile, apparently Callie had just as much of the world weighing her down as she did.

Sliding a mug of coffee over the breakfast bar they avoided eye contact. Callie shifted herself onto the stool, her elbows propping up her head and her eyes fixed on the coffee in front of her. Arizona moved around the counter and sat on the second stool facing Callie.

Placing one hand on the elbow closest to her, she encouraged Callie's body to turn with the added assistance of her other hand on Callie's left thigh. Soon enough, maybe too soon they were facing each other, looking into each other so deeply it was uncomfortable, Arizona was trying to gauge Callie's mood, while Callie searched for some kind of answer.

It was Arizona who dropped the gaze first. She shifted down, back onto the floor, making her way between Callie's thighs so their upper bodies melted together as she cupped the back of Callie's neck with one hand and her back with the other. She whispered in her ear and snuggled into her neck. She felt Callie's arms embrace her tightly.

"We are going to talk, but not right now. Right now this is enough"