Did I say Sunday? I meant next Sunday... *shot*

So sorry for the really late update! This chapter has been bothering me because the emotions were kind of hard to convey and I was busy in really life, so yeah... Anyway, here! It might be kind of half-assed in the end, but I'm at a con and well, I'm kind of in a semi rush? I don't know... I hope you like it?

o0o0o0o

Arthur doesn't want to believe what his father had told him. It isn't possible! It's isn't! His mommy, his lovely, caring, gentle mommy can't be dead! He runs, his feet pounding against the pavement in a futile attempt to break the ground beneath him. All he wants right now is to be back with his mommy, his warm, living, smiling mommy.

Before he realizes it, his feet have taken him to the park, where Merlin sits, oddly expectant and worried. Arthur watches as Merlin's brow furrows, and he dashes up to the older boy, throwing himself at him, sobbing endless tears into his shoulder.

Merlin holds him gently, just like Arthur's mommy had done before, and that thought only starts up the tears again. Gentle arms wrap themselves around Arthur, and he registers the creaking of the chains as Merlin kicks them off the ground, still hugging Arthur close to him. They rock back and forth in the cool air, their swinging creating a breeze that helps ebb the pain.

The tears are stopping, and now Arthur is dry sobbing against Merlin, grasping onto the older boy's clothes with an iron grip. If he lets go of Merlin, will he disappear too? After all, Mommy had died when Arthur let go of her hand.

"I won't disappear," Merlin murmurs, as though he can hear Arthur's thoughts. Arthur stares up at sincere blue eyes, and they look down at him gently.

Arthur hides his face into the crook of Merlin's shoulder and mumbles faintly, "Don't leave."

"I won't."

And that's that.

o0o0o0o

When Arthur wakes up, he's vaguely aware that he's not home in bed like he had thought he was. Instead, he's outside, and the sun is just beginning to creep over the horizon, painting the sky oranges and reds. As he gains more awareness, he realizes with a jolt that he's still clinging onto Merlin. He jolts, throwing himself out of Merlin's arms. Falling back onto the woodchips, Arthur stammers and babbles, trying to gain some semblance of sanity.

He realizes that Merlin is laughing. Well, more like snickering, but either way, Merlin is smiling. Even though it's at his expense, Arthur still grins.

"You should have seen the look on your face when you woke up!" Merlin says.

Arthur's pouting now, and he can't seem to bring himself to care how childish he's being, because it's Merlin. Then it hits him again. The reason why he had come to the park in the first place.

Merlin must see the change in his expression, but he doesn't move closer. It's interesting, Arthur notes, how Merlin has never once left the swing in the many times that he's visited the older boy. Merlin's laugh does die down though, and he asks with a somber tone, "What's wrong?"

He scrunches his face up and bites his bottom lip, but he doesn't reply. Merlin just sits there and waits, the comfortable and constant creak creak of the chains echoing in the night. The sun is dipping down into the horizon, and the sky is becoming more purple than red. Arthur curls into himself, protecting himself from the chilly wind that blows by him, ruffling his hair and pulling at his clothes.

Finally, he hears Merlin sigh. He cringes, because whatifMerlinisdispleasedwithhimwhatifhedidn'tlikeb eingbotheredwhatif—

"Come here, Arthur." When he looks up, he sees Merlin with a fond smile, gesturing with open arms. Letting out a strangled sob, Arthur stumbles towards his comforting older brother (because what is this reassurance he feels with Merlin if not the love of siblings?) and wraps his arms around Merlin's waist, crying into his shoulder.

Merlin whispers to him, and Arthur can't understand what he's saying through his sobs, but it doesn't sound like English. There are lilting vowels and a poetic edge to the words. Merlin lets him cry, so Arthur does.

He cries for his mommy, who has left him, and for his impassive father, who he hates and loves, and for Morgana, who loves—loved his mommy just as much as he does—did.

Arthur pulls away, scrubbing at his eyes and nose, wiping away all of the tears. He looks up at Merlin, blurry-eyed. "I won't cry anymore."

"It's okay if you cry," Merlin murmurs. "Everybody needs to cry sometime."

"Have you cried?" Arthur asks, desperate to discuss everything besides crying.

Merlin looks up at the sky, humming quietly, and replies softly. "I have."

"For who?"

"For many of my loved ones who have died, for the one person that I loved apart from my family, for the people who have suffered, and the many who have died because of me." Merlin looks at Arthur knowingly. "It's not your fault, you know."

Arthur looks away, determined not to show any weakness, especially not after crying his eyes out. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh Arthur," Merlin sighs, hugging Arthur close to his chest. Arthur fists the rough material in his hands, feeling the rise and fall of Merlin's chest, because Merlin is alive. "Do you want to tell me about it?" Merlin asks softly. Arthur breathes in...out...and nods.

Merlin's arms are warm and reassuring around him. "Mommy and I...we were going to go get ice cream, because I had been asking her for it so many times... We were waiting to cross the road when the wind blew my hat of. I-I went to chase it and then there were—" Arthur rubs at his eyes furiously as Merlin's arms tighten and draw him closer. "There were screams and s-screeches a-and then the crash..."

Arthur chokes out a sob, refusing to cry into Merlin's already damp shirt. "I-I woke up later and-and Daddy was sitting by the b-bed and just looking at me. A-and then h-h-he-he s-said that—" He tightens his hand in Merlin's shirt. "Th-that M-Mo-Mommy, that Mommy was dead."

Merlin starts swinging again, shushing Arthur gently as though he were calming an infant. It's a long silence before Merlin repeats, "It's not your fault, Arthur."

"But it's my fault that Mommy ran out to cover me... Daddy said so..." Arthur chokes out. He hears Merlin snarl something under his breath, but knows instinctively that his friend's ire is not directed at him.

"No. It's not." Merlin's voice is firm and Arthur feels compelled to look up and gaze into their sincere blue eyes. It's not your fault that you're mother chose to run after you. It's not your fault that the driver didn't stop. It's not your fault that the wind blew. You couldn't have stopped it, Arthur." Arthur just shakes his head. He wants to believe it, but he still remembers his father's stormy gaze and the sound of loud piercing screams.

Sighing, Merlin smiles down at him. "Do you still want to talk?" Arthur thinks about it, subconsciously curling into Merlin. He can only think of one thing that he wants to talk about, because after all, he barely knows anything about Merlin.

"What about your mommy?" Merlin's smile falters. He bites his lip and stares past Arthur for a second.

Then he whispers, just barely loud enough for Arthur to hear, "She...was a wonderful woman, who smiled no matter what and fought for everything she cared for. She practically raised me all by herself after my father disappeared on us. She was my entire world, and she supported me through everything, no matter what my choices were. She was a strong person, never afraid to fight for what she believed in. I was lucky to have her."

"Was?"

Merlin sounds rueful. "She died...a long time ago."

"Oh." Arthur mumbles, because really, there's nothing else can say to something like that.

They stay silent for a while, the sound of wind and swings therapeutic. Right now, there is only Merlin and Arthur, two boys who have lost their mothers and take solace in the company of each other.

o0o0o0o

Arthur has fallen asleep again, waking to the chirping of birds and the sound of breathing. He rubs his eyes sleepily, glancing up to see Merlin slumped against the chains, breathing evenly. The older boy looks exhausted and Arthur feels a pang of guilt for keeping him up for so long talking. Arthur watches Merlin sleep for a while, grateful that Merlin is willing to show such a moment of vulnerability to him. Merlin's always been smiling and comforting Arthur, so the younger wants to return the favor.

Merlin makes a small mewling noise, followed by a quiet yawn. Arthur climbs off of Merlin's lap, gently removing the brunet's arms from where they had been resting, wrapped around Arthur's shoulders. He scrambles onto the next swing over, getting on successfully just before Merlin wakes up.

There's a groan of confusion as Merlin blinks his eyes open, mouth stretching open as he yawns. His eyes crinkle in the corners, the sun casting a warm light onto his absurdly prominent cheekbones. "Arthur?" Merlin mumbles, stretching out his long lanky limbs.

"Here," Arthur answers, grinning. Merlin jerks to stare at him before sinking, sighing.

"You scared me. When did you get over there?" Arthur just grins, and Merlin seems to know exactly what he's saying. The two swing back and forth together, just enjoying the company of the other. It's chilly out, but the sun has just barely begun to rise. There's a soft breeze that rustles the leaves of the trees around them. The park is filled with a comfortable silence that envelops a world of only Arthur, Merlin, and the creatures of the morning.

After a while, Merlin looks at Arthur and flashes him a hesitant shy smile. "Since I know so much about you, how about I tell you a bit about me?" Arthur beams and nods hurriedly. He leaps off mid-swing and settles himself back into Merlin's lap. Merlin chuckles lightly and keeps one arm around Arthur protectively while he continues swinging. "Alright. Where do you want me to begin?"

Arthur hums as he thinks, finally asking, "Where did you grow up?"

"In a small town called Ealdor. It's really far from here, in the middle of nowhere, so nobody knows of it. It's probably gone by now..." Merlin says sadly. "It was terribly small, but comfortable and welcoming. Everybody knew each other and we were all family, even if we weren't related by blood. My best mate, Will, lived there too." Merlin looks melancholic at that, but smiles reassuringly to Arthur. "What next?"

"What was your family like?" That question has been bothering Arthur for a while, so he voices it.

Merlin purses his lips together. "It's...kind of complicated. I've really only had my mother for most of my life, so I never knew about anything else. My father left when I was just a baby, so I never knew him. I met him later on in my life, but shortly after that, he died. My mother had a brother named Gaius, who took me in after I left home and taught me. I basically lived with him and studied under him. My mate Will was like a brother to me in a lot of ways, and there was someone else, but I don't know how he would have fit into the family umbrella..."

"Who was he?"

"He was my other best friend, basically my closest companion after Will died too." Arthur whimpers in sympathy. How has Merlin been able to stay so strong with so many of his loved ones dying? "I worked under him, but I also was his friend, so that made for an interesting friendship." Merlin laughs, and Arthur envies how this friend of his can make Merlin look so joyous.

"What was his name?"

Merlin looks as though he's about to answer, but Arthur's daddy chooses that moment to burst into the park, calling out Arthur's name. Arthur curls into Merlin, but Merlin gently removes him from his lap. Arthur starts to protest when Merlin shakes his head. "Go with your dad," he says, and Arthur does, trudging grumpily over to his fussing father.

Uther scolds him for running off for so long before gathering Arthur up in his arms and hugging him as though Arthur is going to disappear. Arthur casts a glance towards Merlin, who is alone on the swings. Merlin just shakes his head and waves weakly, mouthing Go with him.

Arthur hates leaving Merlin, but he will if Merlin says so.