JMJ

(3)

Tug of war

Over flowers

Cruel claws sent back to winter

"I saw that," Musashi warned Ichiro.

"What?" the boy asked innocently.

"I'm not blind. No making faces at Tama," said Musashi. "Read that book."

"But it's boring," complained Ichiro.

"I don't care what it is," said Musashi. "You picked it out, you read it. You want to be illiterate?"

"Yeah," said Ichiro with a shrug.

Musashi leered dangerously. "You wanna take on Okasan about it?"

"I, uh … mean, no, Okasan," said Ichiro.

Musashi smiled. "That's better."

She paused and glanced at Tama only three and too young to have to learn school. Bouncing up and down Tama laughed about no apparent thing, except maybe the sound and feel of the sofa springs. Normally Musashi would have scooped up the silly little girl and brought her somewhere where she would be no danger to defenseless sofas or learning brains, but as she glanced about her briefly she said, "Who saw Kojiro last?"

Ichiro, Fuuyuki, and Bara did not know.

"Nyaasu!"

Nyaasu looked up from his catnip toy which he had been thoroughly mangling in catlike fashion. At the sound of his name, he leapt to his feet, the toy still in his mouth.

"Uhy hawfn' see 'im, ngya!" Nyaasu protested.

Musashi rolled her eyes. "Take that thing out of your mouth, Nyaasu," she muttered.

Spitting it out, Nyaasu cleared his throat and said, "He's probably with Kosanji."

Fuuyuki frowned with confusion.

"I thought Otoosan said that his name was—"

"Nyah …" Nyaasu waved a paw aside. "What does he know?"

"Hmph!" Musashi said. "I just peaked in through the window and I didn't see him."

"Gar-Chan's gone," said Bara. "Maybe they went for a walk somewhere."

"Okay," said Musashi, and she sighed. "You make sure only learning goes on here, and take care of Mitzu if he wakes up, Nyaasu."

"Nyah?" Nyaasu did not sound overly enthusiastic about the idea but knew better than to argue.

Then Musashi took her leave and glanced around to see if Kojiro was anywhere in sight. She could see no sign of him, but she walked out to the back, past the vegetable garden they were struggling to grow, past a few wild hedges, and she still could not see him. He must have really gone out for a walk, she was just deciding, but just as she turned around to leave she saw the head of Gar-Chan poking his head up from behind a small rise. As Gar-Chan did not run to meet her, she assumed Kojiro was with him.

With a raised brow, she trekked across the grassy yard making her way to the rise, and sure enough, Kojiro sat leaning back against the trunk of a weeping willow and staring out rather gloomily over the sharp drop before him to the barren stone-filled, grassy slopes of mountain ground.

Kojiro looked up with a start at her approach and tried to smile, but his attempt proved pitiable.

"Kojiro?" asked Musashi coming to an abrupt stop a couple yards away.

"Oh, hi, Musashi," said Kojiro, his second attempted smile was a little better but not by much.

"Doushiteno?" Musashi demanded.

His face fell and he glanced down at Gar-Chan before he said, "Nothing, I'm okay. I was just …"

With a roll of her eyes, Musashi took the last few paces between herself and Kojiro, and she dropped to a squat beside him. She studied him a moment, and he lifted his head to her with a worn look in his eyes.

"Don't lie to me," said Musashi. "What happened? It's Kosaburo isn't it?"

"It's nothing, Musashi!" Kojiro snapped, and his tone surprised Musashi a little.

Gar-Chan let out a bark of concern, and with eyes softening, Kojiro turned away miserably with eyes out over the cliff again.

Dropping from her squat onto her knees, Musashi let out a heavy sigh, and silence reigned for a few minutes. She then decided to speak, but Kojiro turned back before she could open her mouth.

"I'm sorry, Musashi," he said.

Musashi shook her head.

"It's okay," she said. "Just tell me what's wrong."

"I can't," said Kojiro.

"Why not?" Musashi demanded. "Stop being stupid and just tell me."

"Musashi?"

"What?!" said Musashi patience quite thin now.

"I don't … I mean …. Uh …" He let out a small humorless laugh.

"Kojiro …"

"I'm sorry for being such a … I mean that I … I mean …"

"Kojiro, you're babbling," said Musashi.

His head dropped.

"Gomen," he squeaked.

"Gurow?" asked Gar-Chan with a cock of his head.

Kojiro stroked the dog's head absently.

"I shouldn't cry on you like I do," murmured Kojiro.

A squint befell Musashi. "Nani?"

"I'm pathetic the way I cry on you and …"

"Kojiro …" said Musashi, temper rising and eyes closing with resistance, and it was at least enough to slow it down. "I'll slap you."

Kojiro choked down a near sob.

Opening her eyes to Kojiro again, compassion overtook her, and she grabbed his neck to squeeze his head from behind.

"What did he tell you? Huh?"

Having recovered from the surprise of her sudden action, Kojiro lifted his eyes above him even though he could not see her face no matter how high he raised them, and he smiled a little before it escaped from him when he registered her question.

"I'll call the police and have them deal with him if he keeps abusing you like that," said Musashi. "Don't listen to him. He's just a jerk. He's jealous, okay? You don't cry on me too much. He has no idea what you're like now. Don't let him try to make you think that you're less than what you know you are, you understand? You shouldn't have to put up with him."

"It's just until he gets better," said Kojiro.

"Well, he's well enough to go to jail by now," Musashi sniffed, "or at least an infirmary or something in one."

"But, Musashi," Kojiro protested.

"What?"

"I … I promised him that I wouldn't call the police," he said.

Musashi rolled her eyes in disgust. "Well, you didn't promise I wouldn't," she sapped.

A small groan erupted from Kojiro now, and Musashi's arms slip to Kojiro's shoulders.

"I wanted to help him," said Kojiro. "I was hoping that letting him stay here would help him be better for himself …"

"He doesn't want our help," said Musashi. "Not that kind of help. You're just making yourself miserable, that's what you're doing."

"I know, but …"

"He hates us," said Musashi. "I tried helping that ungrateful wretch once before. And you even donated all that money even though it made your parents annoyed—"

"It didn't really make them annoyed," Kojiro cut in, but too softly for Musashi to pay much attention to it.

"—to those guys trying to make the shadowized people better, and anonymously too and — oh Kojiro!"

"Hmm?" asked Kojiro.

"What am I going to do with you? You try too hard. You want to be perfect. You're too good for your own good, Kojiro," she said and kissed his head.

"No, I'm not," sighed Kojiro. "I'm far from that."

"But I won't let you kill yourself over Kosaburo!" Musashi snapped.

"I'm not killing myself over it," said Kojiro.

"Yes, you are, and I won't let you," said Musashi. "If I see that he's making you miserable again, I'll call the police, you understand?"

Kojiro nodded. "I understand, Musashi."

"And you don't cry on me too much," Musashi added. "And you're not a wussy … whatever he called you. Maybe you were once — okay you definitely were — but not anymore! You brought us out here to protect us from Team Rocket. You worked your butt off trying to get this place started, and I had to take care of Bara-chan, especially when she got sick there for a while, and we were so scared, but you didn't give up. Don't you remember? I was the one freaking out, and Nyaasu wasn't helping! You were trying to keep it together! If it hadn't been for you I would have lost it then! Not to mention all that stuff you did going back home to your parents, facing Rumika, and fighting me and Nyaasu so we could have this life we have now. We would've been shadow agents if it hadn't been for you. It was you who wanted to make us more self sufficient, and you who wanted to help the trainers that passed through here and got a name for ourselves in town. You're a determined, brave, strong man, and you keep telling yourself that or else!"

"I'll, uh … try to," said Kojiro, fidgeting his fingers a little before Musashi kissed his head again and gave him a tight squeeze around the chest.

"Your heart's just too sensitive for its own good," said Musashi with a sigh as she parted. "That's why you made such a lousy Team Rocket agent. You were fighting your own nature to be cruel, not to be bad really. Anyone can be that, but you were never naturally cruel."

"I was pretty cruel when I wanted to be …" Kojiro muttered; then with a sigh, he smiled a little. "I just wish," he said in a slightly different mood, "I mean, not just him, but everyone. All the agents. I—"

Musashi held her finger over his lips.

"Shhh," she said. "Just relax. Don't wish. Just come inside and stop moping. There are little students inside who need help with their school anyway." She let out a wry smile.

"Arigato, Musashi," said Kojiro.

#

Ah, yes! Prison!

Although I had been promised by Kojiro not to have the police involved in this, I wound up in their paws anyway. I knew Musashi was the one who had called, but I still felt bitter about that promise and mentally took it out on Kojiro even if I hated both of them by the time the bars clanged shut before my face.

I had been locked up in the past with Yamato but never long enough to have to worry about it; though, one day is more than enough time to spend there. In those days my partner and I were always bailed out or even broken out by our supportive leader Giovanni until the day he decided to betray his loyal agents, but now I could count on no one's bail, no one to break me out, no one even to really represent me at my trial; though, Kojiro and Musashi both went to it, and Kojiro had put in about as much of a good word as he could for me. It irritated me so much. I could not understand what his angle was. I did not want to understand in all honesty.

But with only Kojiro as a representative for my side and a cheap lawyer that just barely kept himself from falling asleep, I had no chance. My attitude probably was not helping much either, but I had trouble taking much seriously except my anger. So I ended up in prison.

I hated it.

I hated it, but it seemed to cool me down somewhat. Maybe it was the lack of heat, maybe it was the silence. Hey, maybe some remnant of the shadow juice had finally left my system! I didn't know. It was a good thing; that's all I know. Otherwise that conversation with Dr. Izumi probably would not have ended like it had.

He had been hunting me down a few years by the time he discovered I had been sent to prison in Hoenn. What did he want with me? I had no idea, but I felt so bored and probably lonely at first to bother with why when the guards had me ushered to my visitor who stood on the other side of that mesh barrier.

"Are you willing to prove yourself worthy of release?" he asked.

"What prisoner wouldn't?" I grumbled, and I asked him what he wanted.

Scientists with something to hide was never a good thing in my opinion.

"I've been hunting down all the post victims of the shadow agent project," explained the good doctor, and he said that when he learned of my predicament he wanted to see if he could not reopen my case and have me released.

"I'm mostly in prison because of my honest crimes I committed before the shadow crap," I told him.

"I know," said Izumi, "and that's exactly my point. You have not done anything too illegal since then, and—"

"Does stealing pocket change for sake count?" I asked with a shrug.

"Well," said Izumi. "That's where you come into this. I don't want to make a big deal about this until I know you're willing to live honestly, and not honestly criminal either."

I shrugged again, but after a thoughtful pause and leaning back in my chair with hands behind my head in casual repose, I said, "I think I can manage that, Doctor."

Dr. Izumi did not look too positive, especially in light of my seemingly sarcastic reaction.

Oh, I had to give him a hard time. Don't ask me why. I truly was willing to live honestly by that point. I would rather have an honest life than no life at all, which is what I had been living, no life, ever since the shadow thing. One could argue that I had never lived my whole life seeing as I ended in being betrayed by the one people I gave my whole body, mind and loyalty of my soul to like a false religion or a wild cult, but I certainly had not had one in the past ten plus years both wandering the world as if I had already died and remained on earth to haunt it and trapped in prison. If living an honest life meant a life at all, I wanted it. I may not have shown it at the time to Izumi, but I ached for it like he could not believe.

Sitting up I leered at the professor.

"Do you really think they'll buy it, though?" I demanded.

"Oh, I think they will, if you mean it," he told me. "Hoenn is not known for strict imprisonment."

"Neither is Kanto," I said with a shrug. "Only Unova is strict with prisoners, and Sinnoh. It's hard even to use bail in Sinnoh."

"The Orre Region is pretty strict too," Izumi said.

"Still," I said. "I have a long history. I'm not sure how much my sentence can be shortened with good behavior."

He was smarter than he looked even if he was a brain scientist. He was at least half a true to life genius in law as well. Izumi surprised me.

My sentence was shortened from twenty years to five, and I was already on my third by that point. I had to continue a community service of a sort, and if I committed any major crime again I would be sentenced to life in prison.

I could deal with that. Not planning to join a gang or team any time soon, I had no reason to commit crimes alone, especially with not even a partner. The problem was what was I going to do now?

JAPANESE PHRASES:

Doushiteno: Are you okay?

Gomen: sorry (informal setting)