Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.
Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, Seattle, United States
"Hello, is this Dr. Owen Hunt?"
"Yes this is him. Who am I speaking to?"
"It's David Lee from the HR department of University Hospital Zurich. Sir, I just want to check with you if you have received our email?"
"Yes I did." Owen drummed his fingers on his desk and stared out of the window. Another phone call from headhunters. . .
"It'd be an honor if you could consider our offer, sir, we made a few calls and we must say we are completely amazed by your service to your country . . ." As he rambled on, Owen made a few noises to let him know he was listening . . . although he wasn't. He had to get the budget sorted out as soon as possible, before the hospital had to shut another research lab down, which would bring more drama in the hospital - as if they hadn't had enough.
"Thank you for the offer, but I have no intention of relocating at the moment." Owen got off the phone and rested his head on the chair's backrest. The budget was irritating. He needed to cut someone open before he went nuts from those figures. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and sighed. Another wave of headaches hit him - he had no idea when he last slept.
A quick knock on the door brought Owen to attention, "Dr. Hunt, trauma coming in, ETA 2 minutes."
"Be right there." He smirked, toying with the thought of turning into a surgery junkie as he briefly tidied his desk. With a straight face, he headed to the ER quickly.
The rain never seemed to stop pouring in Seattle. As he stood in front of the ER, waiting for the arrival of an incoming trauma, she crept into his thoughts.
It had been two months since she left.
He tried to move on, he really did; he buried himself in work so that he could get everything out of his mind. He forced himself to go to the gym every day so that he would get so exhausted that he would fall asleep immediately when he reached his bed. He kept himself occupied all the time so that he wouldn't have room to think about her.
But she still managed to break into his thoughts.
And everyone in the hospital either kept asking him if he was OK or just wouldn't stop telling him to get a new date. And he found this very, very annoying. People had to understand that he was fine, she wasn't dead; he didn't need a date, instead he needed time to heal, or a Cristina.
And his new ambitious chief of cardio insisted on solving the mysterious McNeil case. He knew it was irrational, but he was pissed at her. Why couldn't she just leave things the way it was?
He had to stop himself from paging cardio and then expecting her to walk through the door.
He missed her so much.
He liked being in the OR, where his mind could be untangled and his focus was solely on the patient - where he managed to keep her out of his mind.
And now, lying on a bed in an on call room, he felt like he was back to square one.
The room was extremely quiet. So quiet that he could hear his own heartbeat, accompanied by the sound of rain drops hitting the window. He remembered that she liked the weather here. She had said that she found it too bright and shiny back home in sunny Beverly Hills. He chuckled at the thought of a young Cristina pouting and whining about the weather while everyone happily roasted themselves on the beach.
No matter how hard Owen tried to tire himself out, it was hard to fall asleep. His mind was too active all the while, and when it finally died down, he would start thinking of her. Of them.
And he had no idea where he should sleep, for every corner reminded him of Cristina – the on call rooms in the cardio wing, the closet in the ER, the conference room – his trailer even smelled like Cristina.
He silently contemplated the offer from the headhunter that morning; a change in his life would probably do him good at the moment.
Owen was deep in thought when his cell phone rang, disrupting the protracted silence in the room, and he jumped with fright. He took a deep breath to compose himself before answering his phone – PTSD certainly didn't do well with surprise.
"Owen Hunt speaking." He willed his voice to be confident and professional, rather than someone who had been startled by the mere sound of his phone ringing.
"Hello Dr. Hunt! This is Dr. Gardner from University Hospital Zurich. I'm so sorry for calling you at this hour – I couldn't reach you earlier. . ."
"Yeah, yeah, it's fine. I was in surgery."
"Oh, of course, I understand that." Dr. Gardner laughed. "I heard from the HR department that you turned down our offer, so I will just be straightforward – is there anything wrong? Because we would really like to have you here, and I'd do anything to get you here. Ha-ha." He sounded too cheerful, too optimistic - a great contrast to the dark and gloomy Owen, who laughed half-heartedly. Before he could respond, Dr. Gardner continued talking. "One of our esteemed colleagues here had recommended you and we are really impressed by your resume. Listen, why don't you take a visit to our hospital before you decide?"
Owen's mouth hung open with shock. He could see that they were attempting to woo him, but still, giving out a free trip? That's risky. You could never predict if you would get the money back.
"Uhm, a trip? In person?" asked Owen.
"Yes! Definitely not a virtual tour. Ha-ha." Owen laughed weakly. He was worn out after a long day in the ER, and he hadn't realized how tired he was until that moment. "You don't have to decide now. Just call my office when you make up your mind and I'll have my assistant arrange everything for you."
"Yeah, yeah, ok. I'm sorry; may I ask where your hospital is?" Owen couldn't think straight anymore; he was on the verge of falling asleep.
"Well, this is University Hospital Zurich so we are in Zurich. Ha-ha."
"Oh, right, right, of course." Owen chided himself silently for asking such a dumb question. "I'll get back to you soon."
"Okay, I expect to hear from you soon." Dr. Gardner hung up; the silence in the on-call room is restored. Owen sat cross-legged on the bed, stunned. Zurich?
The rain was surprisingly soothing that night. Thinking about his possible upcoming trip to Zurich, he gave in to his weariness and fell asleep for the first time in days.
Owen did not have a good night's sleep – his dreams were full of Cristina. He dreamed of himself waking up with Cristina at the firehouse, at his old apartment, at the trailer, at a hotel, and some other strange places that he couldn't recognize. He was absolutely disappointed when he found himself alone in the on-call room. After he freshened up himself, he headed over to his office and continued to work on the department's budget.
A light knock on the door interrupted his thought. "Come in," Owen called.
The door opened and Meredith stepped in, "There you are," She closed the door behind her and sat in the chair opposite Owen, "I hope I'm not intruding."
Raising his eyebrows, he asked, "Is there anything I can help you?"
"Yeah . . . I just wanted to check if you're ok."
Owen shook his head and chuckled, "Do you know that almost everyone in the hospital has asked me if I'm OK? It's been happening so many times in a day that I have lost count." Meredith joined him in his laughter. Owen sat back in his chair, and said sadly, "She is not dead, you know."
"Yes, I know. I'm just checking if you are ok." Meredith watched Owen's face for a reaction. Knowing that she wasn't going to get one, she continued, "So, are you ok?"
A silence fell between them.
"How's work going? Is everything alright?" Her hands fidgeted nervously on her lap, hoping that he would start talking.
Owen shook his head at her attempt to make small talks, "You know, you don't have to do this."
"I know, but she asked me to look after you and make sure that you don't get dark and twisty!" She exclaimed frustratingly, throwing her hands up. "So now, I'm asking you, are you ok?" She stared straight at him, not blinking for one moment.
Owen sighed. "You know, sometimes I wonder if people really mean it when they ask someone if they are ok, or this is simply a social convention. I mean, do they really care if I'm ok? Who cares if I'm not fine? I'm breathing. My heart is still beating. I come to work every day, I work out, and I complete all my paperwork. I'm ok."
"You need to do more than that to convince me," Meredith frowned, and paused, thinking how she should continue. "You know, it will get better. Just give it some time."
"Oh, that one!" Owen raised his eyebrows, his face twisted in mock-surprise. "Yeah, everyone says 'time heals all wounds', 'time heals almost everything', 'time will help you move on', etcetera. It's like time can do anything. But at the same time, they also say that absence makes the heart grow fonder." He leaned forward in his chair. "You see, I'm really confused here, because this," he gestured with his hand wildly, "is completely contradicting. So, the longer she's gone, the easier it is for me to move on or the more I am supposed to want her?" As he spoke, his voice trembled with rage. All his anger and frustration spilled out in his words. He took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to cool himself down.
"And I don't even know what we are now . . ." he said weakly.
Meredith looked at the miserable man sitting opposite her, who was obviously still deeply in love with her person, even though she was halfway across the globe, and sighed. As the silence between them became uncomfortable, she spoke quietly. "You should go to Zurich."
"What?" Owen frowned.
Meredith was about to explain herself when her pager beeped. She frowned as she checked her pager, and shook her head lightly.
"I've got to go." She stood up and turned to leave. "Go to Zurich. Go find her. You guys never had a proper goodbye, so go to Zurich and sort things out." She looked at Owen warmly. "I'll even buy you the flight ticket."
Owen laughed and nodded gratefully. "Thank you, but I'll pass. I can afford the flight ticket myself, ha-ha."
He mouthed a 'thank you' to her as she closed the door. Resting his head back on the chair, he closed his eyes and pondered on what she had just said. Maybe, he should really go to Zurich.
He finally dragged himself back to the trailer after spending days in the hospital. He fumbled tiredly in his bag to look for his keys, but only to be proven fruitless. He had probably left his keys in his office. Great, he thought, now I have to go get the spare keys from Derek.
Staring at the glittering back sky, he sat down outside the trailer wearily. His mind flashed back to those days back at the firehouse, when he would often find Cristina sitting at the balcony with a glass of red wine. Tiptoeing towards her, he gave her a quick peck on the lips, to let her know that he was home. With her snuggled up on his side, they would sit there together in silence, enjoying each other's company after a long day. There's a full moon tonight - he wondered if she was looking at the moon, only to be let down when he remembered that Zurich was 9 hours ahead of Seattle. He sighed, she is probably sleeping now.
He'd finally made up his mind - he decided that he'd call Dr. Gardner the next day to let him know that he would visit Zurich, because - he thought, rolling his eyes - time zones suck.
NOTE: A big thank you to Eliza for being an awesome beta reader! So what do you think of this chapter? Please leave a review! I'd love to hear your opinions! ;)
