Chapter 3/10
Duo looked warily at the doors whilst he retreated down the darkened hall towards the kitchen. The rain still beat relentlessly at the windows.
'Maybe I'm going a little too far with these pranks,' thought Duo, looking to the doors he had already entered.
'Nah, I can run pretty fast. Nothin' to worry about,' Duo decided, shrugging carelessly.
He was Death after all.
"And here we see the kitchen," introduced Duo, sweeping the camera around the room, taking in the linoleum gleaming in the moonlight, cabinets stacked to the ceiling, counters that run across the whole room, a large sink sunken into the counter, the dully gleaming oven and the hulking fridge slumped into the corner, just a dark shadow that looked as though it was about to pounce.
"Warm and cozy isn't it?" muttered Duo, eyeing the fridge in particular.
"Hmm, what to eat, what to eat," he grinned, stalking to the refrigerator. Duo hesitated a second before opening it.
He put the camera on the counter and grabs some food from the dimly lit depths of the cold, frosted metal box.
Duo turns to the camera, holding a can of Pepsi, which he was shaking furiously.
"I'm being totally dumb about the fridge thing, it's just some lingering caution about a prank that…back-fired…on me a couple months ago. I, um, kinda fixed the thing so it would fire eggs at the person who opened it next and, uh, I forgot that it was my turn to make dinner. Still haven't lived it down completely…oh well. It won't happen again, believe me." He smirked dangerously as he stilled the hand with the pop can. He replaced it in the fridge and grabbed another.
Duo shook every other pop can, leaving some untouched. He pulled out a non-shaken one.
It looked like Duo had decided on a chili cheese dog. On the spotless counter he had hotdogs, hot sauce, chili, cheese, and onions.
"Now folks, here we have one of the most useful things in the world. Extra hot chili pepper sauce. Double X. It has a 'caution, extremely hot' warning on it and everything."
Duo holds up the bottle, showing the camera the warning.
"What I will be doing with this is simple. Even tiny amounts of this stuff will burn your taste buds right off, so it's okay if I dilute it. That is one of its most useful properties." Duo drawls nonchalantly as he turns back to the refrigerator.
Duo takes out the milk and pours some of the hot sauce in it. He repeats this with all the liquids in the kitchen.
"Now for the real genius of this prank," states Duo, winking at the camera. He heads to the sink and opens the cupboards beneath it, unscrewing something from all the pipes that crisscrossed under it.
"I have just dismembered the sink. It will now be unable to produce any water, no matter how much the guys scream." Duo's eyes gleamed dangerously.
"Oh, one more thing," announced Duo, pocketing the piece of pipe. From his other pocket he produced a pad of post-its, already written on. Duo then commenced sticking the notes on everything in sight. On the fridge he put one that said, 'this is a fridge.' In the toaster he said, 'insert toast here,' etc. Soon almost every clean surface was covered.
Duo quickly concocted a large chili dog with everything on it and then practically inhaled it.
"That about does it for the kitchen, I think…" mused Duo, licking his lips. He tossed the now empty bottle of hot sauce in the recycling and his crushed pop can quickly followed.
Duo smiles at the camera, walking slowly toward it.
"Come my pretties, we have more work to do."
Duo swoops up the camera and exits the kitchen, unscrewing the salt shaker lid on his way out.
He glanced down the hall, rain still pouring down the darkened windows.
"Well, we've still got two victims…let's make this memorable, shall we?"
The camera shakes as Duo lets loose an evil laugh, and thunder booms theatrically in the distance.
