Author's Notes: Sorry for the lateness, guys. Again, trouble uploading. So this will be the third installment of Road Trip, and one of my favorites. So, read, review, and enjoy. Also, no bad feelings towards Angel fans.
XOXOXOX
Buffy watched as greens, blues, browns, and grays blur past outside the window of the old Camaro. Something was on her mind though. All she could think about was the way Faith pulled on her hair the other night. Faith apologized for it, but for some odd reason it really turned Buffy on. Buffy thought maybe it was one of those animal things, or one of those Slayer things. When you're living in constant danger of death every night, normal stuff doesn't do it for you. Buffy put her head against the window. Somewhere in the darkest crevices of her mind, she thinks, maybe she's into that. Buffy shook her head to get the thought out of her mind.
"What's on your mind, B?" Faith asked.
"Oh, uh. Thoughts, you know." Buffy gave a fake smile.
"What's wrong?" Faith put a concerned face on and turned to look at Buffy as the light glowed red above the car.
"Nothing." Buffy smiled fakely once more.
"You're lyin' too me, B." Faith said,"But I know you'll tell me when you're ready."
Buffy smiled. Faith was always so direct, and often spoke her mind. Buffy however, bottled things up. She trusted Faith so much, though. How could she possibly talk to Faith about something that she didn't understand herself? Faith gave her a lingering look, then turned her eyes back to the road.
XOXOXOX
"Lompoc!" Faith said as she dropped her bag on the bed.
"And the crappiest motel in Lompoc." Buffy remarked.
"And who's the one with the money?" Faith teased.
"Speaking of which, where did you get the money?"
"I had money with the mayor taking care of me... Wasn't like I'd let the money be wasted." Faith flopped onto the bed, followed by Buffy. Faith turned on to her side and snuggled against Buffy's side. Their jackets that they shed before leaving for dinner were on the chair next to the bed. Faith's black jacket, and Buffy's, formerly Faith's, denim jacket lay there.
"Small bed." Buffy said.
"Big enough for what we want to do." Faith smirked.
"Sleep." They said at the same time.
XOXOXOX
"Morning, B, I got the-" Faith dropped the bag of breakfast foods when she looked into the room. She saw Buffy engaged in a very deep kiss with Angel. She didn't seem to be fighting back, either. Faith was stunned, trying to think of a reason why this would be happening. All of a sudden, she was frozen to the spot. She screamed Buffy's name, but her voice didn't reach her. Faith struggled against the invisible force, but to no avail. Buffy and Angel had their hands all over each other. Angel moved away from her lips and slipped down her neck, coming to the crook, where he bit down. Buffy screamed and grabbed on to Angel even tighter until she looked pale and her hands fell away from his arms, limp. He let her body go and it fell to the ground with a 'thud'. Faith felt tear slip out of her eyes. The invisible force released her and she fell to the ground with a sob. Her tears dotted the floor and she found herself crawling over to Buffy's body.
"You did this to her. You could have stopped me, but you won't be able to. I thought you loved her."Angel's voice echoed from behind her.
"I do love her, I do... She's everything to me." Faith said, the tears stinging her face.
"Obviously not enough." Angel snickered.
"Buffy... Oh god... No... What will I... Without you, I'm..." Faith sniffled. She picked up Buffy's head and stroked it lightly.
"What? Worthless, useless, street scum? A slut? A troubled, alcoholic slut?" Angel spat, "How do you even deserve her? She's so perfect. You're a high-school drop-out with a troubled past, drinking problems, and the inability to have a relationship."
"She loves me too. She loves me for who I really am... No, if she's gone..." Faith put her head on Buffy's chest and cried into her no longer beating heart.
The knife that Buffy gave Faith fell in front of her. The metal shining in some artificial way.
"Then kill yourself. For her. For me." Angel smirked.
Faith shakily took the knife and looked at Buffy. Her fingers slowly wrapped around the hilt of the blade. Buffy was dead. Her whole world was slipping away around her into nothingness. It felt like a void of existence. Angel stared at her as she clutched the knife, her hands trembling as she held it. How could she live without Buffy Summers there every morning... then again, she might be happier without Faith Lehane. The world might be better without her. Nobody needed her, right? She took the knife and pulled it into her chest. The pain felt meaningless compared to the loss of Buffy. It felt like a scratch in the bloody wound. Her eyes were moist and trails of tears ran rivers down her cheeks. Buffy... her everything was dead. Faith felt the blood running over her shirt, seeping through the light material. Faith shoved the knife in deeper and then sat up gasping.
Faith stared into the darkness of the night that had swallowed up the motel room. She heard Buffy stir slightly before falling back asleep. She put her head into her hands and let a few tears slip away into the abyss of blackness.
XOXOXOX
"Morning, Fay." Buffy said once they both had been awake for a few minutes. The soft light from the blinds cascaded over their bodies. Buffy hooked her finger onto the dip of her tank top and pulled it forward a bit. Faith looked at Buffy's eyes, then shut her own as she kissed Buffy. Their mouths opened slightly and that familiar spark flared once more. Faith gently slid over top of Buffy.
"It's so early, B." She murmured.
"Oh well. I've got more energy in the morning." Buffy said, which Faith took as a challenge.
"Well, I guess I'll have to hold you down, nibble a little bit. You liked that right?" Faith took Buffy's arms and pinned them down above her head at the wrists with one hand, biting at her lower lip.
Faith ran her other hand through Buffy's hair. Buffy let a moan escape her throat and instantly pulled away from Faith.
"B?" Faith rolled off of her and let her stand up.
"I-I sh-should... I mean!" Buffy turned and ran into the bathroom of the motel, slamming the door shut. She stared at her reflection and turned on the water. Buffy splashed some water on her make-upless face. She gripped the porcelain of the yellowed sink and tried to think through everything. Faith's hands pulling her hair, Faith's nails digging into her arm, Faith pinning her down, Faith biting her neck, Faith throwing her against the wall. It all turned her one. What's wrong with her? Sick, I'm sick, she thought.
"Buffy?" Faith peeked her head around the corner. She walked in and leaned against the door frame, waiting for Buffy to get comfortable. Buffy stared down at the sink. Faith sighed and took Buffy by the wrist and walked her to the chair, throwing their jackets to the ground.
"It's not you." Buffy said, "It's me. I'm sick. I'm messed up."
"Is that what Cordelia said? I'll kick her ass, B."
"No. I don't care about Cordelia! I'm the one that's wrong."
"Buffy." Faith lowered her voice slightly. Buffy immediately looked up, and Faith raised her eyebrows.
"I get turned on whenever you hurt me. God, I'm so screwed up."
Faith held back a chuckle, "No you aren't you just like it rough."
"Doesn't sound quite as bad when you say it like that." Buffy said softly.
"Because it isn't bad. It's normal, B. Everyone has their kinks. You just like it wicked fierce, right?" Faith gave a comforting smile, "Doesn't mean I'm gonna be the Mistress of Pain everynight."
"No. I think the Willow dominatrix was enough." Buffy smiled, which was what Faith was looking for.
"Listen, Buffy. I will never let it go that far. I won't hurt you at all. Just a little rough housing doesn't mean we're gonna lose an arm." Faith sat down on the bed and looked at Buffy, "Even I'm weird."
"What's your 'kink'?" Buffy felt stupidly immediately after saying that.
"I'm a control freak. I like being on top, knowing I have complete control over your pleasure and can do whatever I want. Makes me feel good. Most of the time, I want to make you the happiest chick alive." Faith confessed, lounging a bit.
"I guess we're all weird?" Buffy felt her worries start to fade. They seemed a lot less extreme once she had said it.
"Yeah. Listen, if you start to do anything rash, I'll hold you down-"
"Which would only turn me on more." Buffy sighed.
"I'm not good at explaining what I feel, but believe me, I will never let you or anyone else harm you. As long as I'm with you, we'll watch eachother's backs." The conversation was suddenly about Faith's break down and not Buffy's. Buffy saw it right away, Faith was feeling insecure, like she wasn' t good enough. Faith had serious fear in her eyes. Fear that something might happen to Buffy was dwindling in her mind. The two girls had serious breaks in the past week. For some reason, Buffy was doubting her state of mind, and Faith was scared that she won't be able to make the decision that saves Buffy in the end. Although it seemed like something more. They both knew that niether one of them were okay, so instead of asking, Faith jumped forward and embraced Buffy, knocking her back in the chair.
"I'm not okay." Faith answered Buffy's silent question.
XOXOXOX
Author's Notes: Sorry, that chapter was a bit confusing, but the next few will sort these problems out. More about the insecurities in their dreams more than the Buffy's turn-ons issue, which is simply an adolescent thing. Next chapter hopefully tomorrow. Tell me what you think.
