This chapter contains abusive situations, in two places. The later one is marked as such, and is not detailed or graphic, but severe. If this is a trigger for you, please skip it!
3 weeks.
3 weeks since the accident, and Kurt hadn't seen Lucy since that fateful night. Mrs. Clein had come to the hospital with a bag of things for him, his teddy bear, Paddington, a picture of his parents, sister and him, some clothes, toys and a blanket.
A lady—Jenny—who called herself his case manager, had come to see him several times. She assured him his sister was fine, and that she just couldn't come to the hospital because it was adult-only. Which didn't make sense to Kurt, because he was a child, but he was promised he would be with Lucy as soon as he was well enough to leave the hospital.
His nurse, Carole, sat with him often. She brought him toys and special treats from the cafeteria. She brought movies for him to watch, and played some games with him, as best he could with his arm encased in a huge cast. She was nice, the nicest person he'd met at this place so far, but he wanted his mommy, and he thought he understood what they meant when they said she was gone. She was with Daddy, and he knew he would never see Daddy again.
A lady, Jenny introduced her as Lindsey Bergwin, came to see him about a week after the accident.
She said she lived in Colorado, with her husband and three children. She said she was his mommy's cousin, but hadn't seen his mommy in a long, long time. She said she had seen Lucy earlier that day, and that as soon as Kurt was well enough to leave the hospital, the twins would be coming to live with her. She seemed nice enough, but she smiled too big. Didn't she realize that Kurt didn't like smiles anymore? There was nothing to smile about.
As "Aunt Lindsey," as he'd been told to address her, visited over the next week, she suggested that they change the color of Kurt's casts. Pink and purple are girl's colors, she told him. She said he'd be much more comfortable in blue or green. Kurt refused. His mommy loved pink and purple, he insisted, and she said it was OK that Kurt did too. She brought it up several times, but after Kurt had a meltdown and threw a cup of water at her, she relented and stopped suggesting the color changes. Kurt said he was sorry for throwing the water and making her wet, and she said it was OK, because he missed his mommy.
A week later, a month after the accident, and a week before Christmas, Kurt was released from the hospital. The hospital gave him a wheelchair, which they said could be returned to the Children's Hospital in Denver. Kurt hugged nurse Carole goodbye, and Lindsey lifted him into the car and strapped him in a car seat. Things were bulky with his right arm and leg both encased in very large casts, but Aunt Lindsey put a couple of pillows under his legs so his bad leg wasn't dangling uncomfortably. She said they were going to pick up Lucy, who was at a "respite" foster home for a few hours while Lindsey had gone to get Kurt, and then they'd be going to the airport. Kurt forgot his troubles for the time being. He was going to see Lucy again!
Aunt Lindsey unbuckled Kurt from his car seat, and carried him into the house. There were steps, so she didn't bother with the wheelchair. A woman opened the door and invited them in, and Aunt Lindsey settled him on the couch. And Lucy was there. She ran up to him, bawling her eyes out, and hugged him very tightly until Aunt Lindsey made her let go for fear of hurting him. At the suggestion of Kurt being hurt, Lucy quickly let go, but held his good arm tightly in hers, refusing to relinquish all touch. They stayed for an hour, and had lunch, before Aunt Lindsey packed both kids in the rental car, and drove them to the airport. They'd gotten first class tickets due to Kurt's medical issues and need to spread out, and were on their way to Denver. Kurt and Lucy talked nonstop the entire way, never relinquishing their hold on each other.
Uncle Dan picked them up at the airport. He was a big man, and he looked a little scary. He kissed Aunt Lindsey when they reached him, and took the bags out of her hands, so she was left with just Kurt to push, Lucy walking alongside. He didn't pay the children much mind as they walked to baggage to get the rest of their bags, and then they took a bus to the car, where Aunt Lindsey buckled up the childrens' car seats and helped them in. Aunt Lindsey and Uncle Dan talked on the way to the house, while Kurt and Lucy kept quiet, holding each other's hands. This was all new, and very scary, and all either of them wanted was to be back in their own house with their mommy. But at least they had each other again. Uncle Dan was a quiet man, it seemed to Kurt. He talked to Aunt Lindsey but barely said three words to Kurt and Lucy. The only time he talked to them was when he asked what they wanted to eat at McDonalds. And then he helped Kurt eat his hamburger—it was hard for him with only one hand.
When they got to the house, Uncle Dan introduced the twins to his mother, who was staying with the three children. Dan's mother, who insisted the twins call her grandma, was a nice older lady. Heavy set with white curly hair and glasses, she gave them each a plate of cookies and milk immediately upon entering the kitchen. Aunt Lindsey set Kurt in a chair with a booster on it, and Lucy climbed up in the one next to him. The cookies were delicious. This grandma-lady was a good cook…even his mommy's cookies weren't this good. Though granted, while their mommy was a woman of many talents, cooking wasn't one of them. A baby started crying, and Aunt Lindsey rushed up the stairs, coming down a few minutes later with a baby on her hip, and holding the hand of a pouty-faced 2 year old. She introduced them as Josh and Megan, their new cousins. Their older brother, Dillon, who was 5 ½, was at school. Josh joined them at the table for cookies and milk, staring wide eyed at his new cousins consistently, as Lucy fed Kurt his cookies, not wanting to let go of his hand so he could do so himself.
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6 months.
6 months since the accident, and Kurt and Lucy were adjusting to life with the Bergwins. Kurt was out of his casts, and while he was still in physical therapy, physically he was healing very well.
The Bergwins were nice enough, but they didn't sing like Kurt and Lucy's mommy did, and they strongly encouraged Kurt to join his cousin, Dillon, in boy activities. Kurt never wanted to, and it caused more than one meltdown.
Kurt had meltdowns frequently; several times a day, at least. Uncle Dan learned to deal with them, he put Kurt in a restraining hold so he wouldn't hurt himself until he calmed down. His therapist said it was because of the trauma he had experienced in the car that night, watching his mother die. The twins could sense that their presence was extremely difficult for Uncle Dan, as much as he got to like them.
So when Aunt Lindsey got pregnant, they decided their house was too small for six children. They were bursting at the seams already, and Kurt was a difficult kid to manage with his frequent violent and destructive meltdowns. So they called social services, who came one day to pick Kurt and Lucy up. They were sent back to Columbus, Ohio, where their case originated from, and placed with a temporary family. A week later, they were sent to Texas, where they were to live with their father's brother.
Uncle Charles, his name was. He worked on a ranch, and didn't have any children. He was a big man, but he looked a lot like their daddy. He didn't seem very talkative, but Kurt reminded himself that Uncle Dan was quiet at first, too, and Uncle Dan had warmed up to the children and turned nice. At dinner on the first night, Kurt asked Uncle Charles if he was really their daddy's brother, and if they'd been friends. Uncle Charles responded that he hadn't seen Jacob in 10 years, that he didn't want to talk about him, and that Kurt should eat his dinner quietly.
Kurt and Lucy quickly learned to keep as quiet as possible with Uncle Charles. There were lots of rules and chores, and the children were ordered to be as polite as they could all the time. Uncle Charles didn't like being reminded that there were children in the house. He fed them, made sure they had food to eat, and were properly clean when they went to school, but for the most part wanted the kids out of the way. Kurt and Lucy were no strangers to rules and chores…they'd had them with mommy, and had them with the Bergwins too. But chores with Uncle Charles were much more difficult for the small children to accomplish, and Uncle Charles didn't like it when they were improperly done.
Uncle Charles wouldn't stand for the meltdowns the way the Bergwins had. Instead of holding Kurt until he calmed down, he would bend Kurt over his knee and spank him until he stopped screaming. Kurt learned to calm himself down, and Lucy learned to take over when things were getting to be too much for her brother. Two weeks after moving in with Uncle Charles, in July, Kurt and Lucy celebrated their fifth birthday. A package arrived from the Bergwins in Colorado, Kurt got a stuffed dog, Lucy a new baby doll. Uncle Charles told the kids they were too loud that day, and loud kids didn't deserve presents. He hid them. That night, Lucy went to bed sobbing, clutching her old baby doll close. Kurt curled up behind her, rubbed her back, and sang their mommy's favorite song: Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
They were with Uncle Charles for the next 9 months. Over that time, Kurt put himself between Uncle Charles and Lucy on multiple occasions; taking the blame for insignificant things he hadn't done, just to protect Lucy from being punished. Uncle Charles believed that spanking was the answer to everything. Uncle Charles took his belt to him when he felt that his hand or the spoon weren't doing the trick, and Kurt wasn't sure he remembered what it was like to be able to sit comfortably. When Uncle Charles decided he wasn't learning his lesson, the beatings took place down his legs and on his back. But Uncle Charles never touched Lucy. He seemed satiated with Kurt. Lucy tried to stop it, but Kurt wouldn't let her. She had taken care of him enough—it was his turn to take care of her. Kurt learned to hide it pretty well at school, and for a long time it went unnoticed.
Until mid March. Kurt had gotten quite the severe spanking that morning for tipping over his cup of milk, and had been forced to go to school like that. Mrs. Langston noticed how difficult a time Kurt was having sitting down, and asked him to remain inside at recess so she could talk to him. Kurt explained that he had fallen backwards when he was helping with the horses last night, and landed on a shovel. Mrs. Langston, who had been suspicious of home life for the Jackson twins for some time, called child services. The social worker that came to visit the twins at the house sometimes came to the school. Her name was Rachel, and she was nice enough, but Uncle Charles had convinced the twins that if she thought anything was wrong the kids would never see each other again. They put on a good show. The twins ended up being taken to the hospital, where Kurt's injuries were observed, and the next day they were on a plane back to Columbus, Ohio where their case originated from.
They were in a group home for a few weeks, when Jenny, their first social worker, told them that she'd found a good home for Lucy. The family was a good, wealthy family who wanted to foster a little girl. Though the twins sobbed hysterically and held each other for a long while, there was nothing they could do when Jenny, Lucy's bags in hand, took Lucy from the group home to her new adoptive home. She told the twins they could talk on the phone, and they would have visits. But two months after the move, during one of the visits, Lucy told him her new foster family wanted to adopt her, and were planning on moving several hours away for her new father's job. Lucy seemed genuinely happy with her new family and new big sister, but she did not want to leave her brother. Her new father thought that getting them away from each other would help her move on. And so, as Lucy's family adopted her and moved away, the state mandated visitation died. Kurt was eventually moved to a new foster home, but much of his spirit had died with all that he'd been through in the past year.
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20 months.
It had been 20 months since his mom died, 4 months since he and Lucy had been separated, and almost 6 weeks since he'd last seen her.
Kurt lived with the Carsons, now. Mr. and Mrs. Carson, a maintenance technician at a factory, and a librarian. They had a 12 year old son Matt, and Emma, a 7 year old foster child. They were nice, but Kurt had trouble trusting them. He was terrified they would hit him whenever they came near him, and it would cause him to break down. His meltdowns were back, and out of his control.
He celebrated his 6th birthday just a week after moving in with them. With mom and dad, birthdays were as special as they could afford to make them. Usually nothing huge, but acknowledged and celebrated. With his uncle last year, his birthday was probably the worst day so far in his young life. This year, the Carson's gave him a cake and he was allowed to pick out a toy from the toy store. It was nice, but his first without his sister and he was too sad to care.
Kurt was with Grant and Ella Carson for just over two years. They were wonderful foster parents, the first real parents Kurt had known since his own, which at this point was difficult to remember at times. Kurt had his meltdowns, he'd lost all the control he'd gained at Uncle Charles' when he lost Lucy. But the Carsons never blamed him for them. Grant learned to help Kurt through them, by allowing them to happen, holding him in a restraining hold when necessary, and talking about what caused them. Over time, the meltdowns became fewer and fewer, and eventually were few and far between.
Grant took Kurt places, wherever Kurt wanted to go, sometimes just the two of them, others with Matt or Emma. They went to the museum, to plays and musicals, and on long walks. They went fishing with Matt, and bicycle riding with Emma. They got permission to take Kurt to Minnesota for Christmas, where Grant's family lived, and Kurt got to go skiing and snowmobiling there. Grant's family treated him no different than they treated their own grandchildren. Kurt was allowed to be who he wanted with the Carsons. They never expected him to be anything different. They gave him what he asked for, and treated him well.
The Carsons were in the midst of the adoption process for both Kurt and Emma when Grant was diagnosed with cancer. Kurt and Emma were able to stay with them for a few months after the diagnosis, as Grant was undergoing chemo, but as the cancer progressed to a possible terminal condition and the state got wind of how bad it was, they decided to move the children. The Carsons fought for them, but had no real ground to stand on. The diagnosis was one that disqualified them from being foster parents, as they weren't healthy enough to keep up with two young children and provide a stable home. So Kurt and Emma went to live with an elderly couple for a few weeks, until a more permanent solution was found. It was 5 weeks after Kurt's 8th birthday.
XXX WARNING FOR SEXUAL ABUSE. DO NOT READ IF THIS IS A TRIGGER XXX
3 years, 8 months and 3 weeks.
It had been 3 years, 8 months, and 3 weeks since the accident, and 2 years, 2 months since he'd last seen Lucy.
Kurt was now living with Ray and Laura Douser. They had two biological kids, Doug and Melissa, who were 9 and 5. Ray was an electrician, Laura was a travel agent. They lived in a modest house, nothing big or fancy, but they weren't poor.
Kurt didn't like the Doursers much. Doug teased him all the time, called him sissy boy, pansy, and faggy boy. Ray and Laura didn't let Kurt play with any of his favorite toys, and forced him to play soccer. Kurt was good at soccer, and he didn't mind it so much. It was better than being by himself, and the other kids seemed to appreciate his talent on the field, but Ray always had something to yell at him about.
Laura was a good cook. She sometimes let Kurt help her in the kitchen—usually when Ray was working late-and seemed to enjoy his company. Kurt loved those days, and he learned a lot about cooking from Laura. It didn't take long for Laura to trust him to do things on his own, like crack the egg, or make perfect measurements, or follow along in the cookbook. But when Ray found out that Kurt was doing so much cooking, he got pretty upset, then Kurt wasn't allowed to help anymore.
Ray told Kurt he didn't want some pansy boy living in his house. He told him he'd better turn into a real boy, or he'd have some serious problems. It started one night, Ray hadn't been home for dinner, he hadn't come home until well after the kids were in bed, and he was pretty drunk. He came into Kurt's room and told him he'd show him what it was like to be a pansy. When he was done, he told Kurt not to tell anyone, or everyone would know what a little idiot he was. Kurt didn't tell, and Ray did it again the next week, and the week after.
As time continued, the abuse got more frequent. Mr. Douser was gone more evenings, and Kurt always dreaded this, because he knew it meant he was out drinking, and he knew what it meant when Ray got home. He tried sleeping in his closet, but Ray found him, and was angry at him for trying to hide. Kurt noticed the sores on his genitals after several months, but didn't know who to tell. He couldn't tell Laura, or she would know something was going on, and he was terrified of anybody finding out. He didn't know why, exactly, he was terrified of moving again, except that he didn't know what to expect in a new home. It could always be worse. Ray had told him the stories of other foster homes.
It happened at school one day. Kurt was trying to climb the rope in gym class. He made it pretty high, when his arms gave out and he fell. He landed at an awkward angle and heard the CRUNCH of his arm as his head smacked against the gym floor. An ambulance was called, and he was rushed to the Emergency Room. His foster parents were called to meet him. The nurses ran some standard tests, and checked him over for further bruising. They noticed the sores on his hands and a few on the bottom of his feet, and ordered some blood tests. It all came out when Kurt's tests came back positive for Syphilis, and Mr. Douser was arrested. Kurt had to spend a few days in the hospital due to a concussion, and after that he would be going to a new home. He had spent 10 months with the Dousers.
XXX Warning over XXX
Carole Hummel was working the evening shift, looking through patient files, when she came across a familiar name. She only recognized it because it was the little boy that persuaded her and Burt to become foster parents in the first place, even if that particular child went to live with a relative. Her family had fostered three children in the past couple of years, though two were reunited with their parents and one found a relative to live with, so they currently had none in the house. She wondered what Kurt Jackson was doing back in Columbus; she thought he'd moved out of state. She read the child's medical file and was shocked and upset to read that he had an STD. What could have happened to this boy? When she asked her coworker about it, she told her about the arrest that was made right in the hallway, when the STD result came back positive. The social worker had made sure the office knew nobody was cleared to visit the boy at this time. He would be here for a few days, she noted. She placed his file back in the drawer, and went to check on the young patient.
He was lying in bed, asleep. Much bigger than the last time she'd seen him, but still tiny. His arm was in a soft cast, in a hanging sling for elevation. He had an ice pack on his head, but he looked physically alright. Carole watched him for several minutes, then left the room to make a phone call.
"Burt?"
"Hey hon, what's going on?"
"You remember that little boy several years ago that lost his mother? The one I told you about? The one that brought us to the decision to foster?"
"Yeah, what about him?"
"He's here, Burt. He's here, he's still in the system, and he's in need of a home."
Please review! I love hearing what people think! It will be a few days before any more updates-probably after Christmas. So Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays! Have fun with whatever you celebrate :)
