Special Agent Gibbs had served with distinction in the Marine Corps and was an experienced federal agent: all this meant that he was rarely lost for words or puzzled about what to do but, on this occasion, he was stumped.

"You did what?" he asked Abby.

"I-I changed Tony in a blue parakeet. Well, for a second or two."

"And then he vanished?"

"Kinda … well, he got out through the window. It was only open a crack, so I don't know how he got through."

There were many questions Gibbs wanted to ask Abby, but he couldn't think of any which would explain where his Senior Field Agent was. He finally settled on one,

"Abs, is this a joke?" he asked hopefully.

Abby looked at him in honest amazement, "Gibbs, when was the last time someone pranked you?"

Gibbs had to acknowledge this was a good answer, but he decided he wanted a straight response before actually beginning to investigate Tony sprouting feathers and flying away,

"Abby, is this a joke?" he asked again.

"No, Gibbs. This isn't a joke. I mean, it was kinda cool but …"

"But?"

"But I'm beginning to think it wasn't such a good idea after all …"

"You think?!"

"I suppose I didn't really think it would work, not deep down … and I guess I owe Azaria an apology for doubting her …"

"You owe Azaria an apology?" asked Gibbs incredulously.

"Well, sure. It's not nice to doubt people," said Abby earnestly.

"You don't think you might owe DiNozzo an apology for turning him into a parakeet?" demanded Gibbs.

"You think he'll be mad?" asked Abby.

Gibbs didn't often get angry with Abby, so he counted to ten before saying with relative mildness, "I'd be mad."

"You would? You wouldn't think it was an adventure … an experience?" She trailed off doubtfully when she saw the expression on Gibbs' face. "Oh," she said beginning to wring her hands, "We have to find him, Gibbs. He'll be frightened out there all on his own."

"He's a federal agent," said Gibbs, "He won't be frightened, he's trained to cope with the unexpected."

Gibbs' words seemed to cheer Abby up but Gibbs himself couldn't help but think that little could have trained Tony to cope with being changed into a bird.

Gibbs took another look around the lab in the hope of detecting Tony hiding somewhere and then decided to swing into action.

"Abby, try and clear up that video stuff … see if you unpixilate it or whatever it is that you do. Get McGee to help you."

"I can't," said Abby.

"What?"

"I can't get Timmy to help me … he's taken some personal days: you remember."

Gibbs frowned as he remembered that Tim had gone to a MIT reunion for three days. "Get Bishop to help you then," he ordered.

"Well," began Abby.

"What … oh yeah, Bishop's at NSA for a few days helping with an old case," said Gibbs.

"So it's just you and Tony in the squad room," said Abby with a sigh, "It's like the old days," she said reminiscently.

"Well, it's up to you then, Abs," said Gibbs.

"I won't let you down," promised Abby, "Er, where are you going?"

"Gonna see Ducky. Let me know if you find something."

A few minutes later, Gibbs strode through the doors of Autopsy.

"Ah, Jethro," said Dr Mallard, "How good to see you. And you are, of course, always welcome but I don't believe I have anything which needs to be reported to you. Your team has been remarkably free of deceased victims of crime. Mr Palmer and I have been reviewing old cases and deciding which ones can be archived. I was just saying …"

"Duck," said Gibbs, "Can I ask you something?"

"Certainly."

"Actually, two things," corrected Gibbs.

"It is always a pleasure to answer questions. I pride myself that even if I don't the answer, I will be able to direct the enquirer …"

"Duck, have you seen DiNozzo?"

Ducky was used to being interrupted and wasn't irritated, "I assume you mean recently? I have, after all, frequently seen Anthony." He chuckled at his witticism but then sensed that Gibbs did not share his amusement, "I believe the last time I saw him was when he came down here this morning to ask a question about the length of time blood would take to coagulate."

"Not since?"

"No. Why do you wish to know?"

Gibbs ignored this question, "Ducky, do you believe in … magic?"

"No," said Ducky with unusual firmness and brevity. "No, I do not."

"You don't?"

"No. In a lifetime of observing the quirks and oddities surrounding the human condition I have come to believe that all those quirks and oddities have a rational explanation."

"Oh."

"And now, Jethro, I fear I must hurry you away. I have an appointment for which I must not be late."

Gibbs found himself being hustled out of Ducky's domain.

NCISNCIS

In the Deputy Director's office, Jerome and Tony stood as the door swung open,

"Gentlemen," said the new arrival.

"Commander Coleman," said Jerome, "You got here quickly."

Faith Coleman lifted an eyebrow, "I thought it was important?"

"It is … well, we think it is," said Jerome.

"Tell me," ordered Faith.

Jerome nodded to Tony who briefly told the JAG Commander what had happened.

"And you stayed in bird form for the recommended time?" she asked.

"Of course," said Tony smugly.

Faith raised that eyebrow again, "I didn't realise you were such a stickler for the rules," she said.

"Well," said Tony honestly, "I guess I haven't always done exactly what I should," he admitted, "But this time …"

"What?" asked Faith.

"Well, it didn't feel right … the whatever it was … that hit me. Didn't seem a good idea to come back as me immediately."

"I felt an echo of it," Jerome put in, "And I'd agree that it was something unpleasant."

"You need to be checked out," said Faith briskly.

"But …" Faith stared at Tony who continued, "I feel fine … honest …"

"You need to be checked out," repeated Faith. She seemed to listen for a moment or two, "I believe he is on his own. Go now."

"How shall I go?" asked Tony, "We haven't got a plan of action yet. Do we want to risk Gibbs or Abby seeing me walk around?"

"Good point," acknowledged Faith. "I suggest that you go the same way as you arrived and then change into some small animal or insect to get in."

"Great," frowned Tony.

"Just make sure you don't get trodden on," warned Jerome. He looked forlornly at his pile of blank forms and Tony found himself wondering which one related to accidental squashing.

"In the meantime, Deputy Director Craig and I will come up with a plan," said Faith.

Jerome opened the window to his office and a merlin falcon was soon flying out on its way to Autopsy. A few moments later a spider manoeuvred its way through one of the vents and climbed on to one of the examination tables.

"Ugh!" said Jimmy Palmer when he saw it.

Tony hastily popped back into human form before Jimmy could decide to flatten him.

"I knew it was you," said Jimmy defensively, "I wasn't going to hurt you."

"Sorry, didn't want to take the risk," said Tony, "I'm not having a good day."

"That's OK," said Jimmy cheerily, "It's just that I don't like spiders that much."

"I'll try and remember," promised Tony, "Where's Ducky?"

"He's gone to his Pilates class. It's Tuesday."

"Ah."

"And what can I do for you?" asked Jimmy.

"Nothing. Can't I just come and see an old friend?"

"Tony, I know why you're here," said Jimmy.

"Then why did you ask?" asked Tony sulkily.

"Oh well, it's always better if a victim … I mean, patient comes willingly. Now, stay still."

Jimmy produced a stethoscope and pressed a button on one of the earpieces before placing the chest piece over Tony's heart. "Hmm," he said.

"Do they teach you that at med school?" asked Tony.

"What?" replied Jimmy absently.

"That hmm. It's not an encouraging sound, you know."

"Isn't it? Oh well, I'll try to bear it in mind."

"So, what's the verdict? Apart from me being fine?" asked Tony.

"You're fine," said Jimmy, "Your heart's beating faster than normal but, like you said, you've had a busy day. Now, you're sure that you …"

"Yes, I stayed changed for the recommended time," said Tony, "What is it with you people that you don't believe me?"

Jimmy decided this was a rhetorical question and ignored it. "I recommend eating a good, nutritious meal tonight and a few hours' sleep – if possible."

"Why if possible?" asked Tony. And then, without waiting for an answer, he sighed and said, "No, you're right … if we are under attack rest and food are going to be in short supply." He turned towards the air vent, "Hey, you might want to look away. I'm going to be a spider again."

"Tony," said Palmer before he could transform.

Tony looked back.

"Agent Gibbs was down here earlier. He asked Dr Mallard if he'd seen you and then he asked if he believed in magic."

"Damn," said Tony.