Chapter 3

JPOV

It had been three months since I had run away. I figured out eventually I had been running for a month almost constantly. I was now living in a small apartment, where I traded accommodation for "hard" labour. For the first time in ages I felt in control. But the gaping wound was still there. No matter what I did, it would not go. It was like I was on medication that stopped working whenever I moved too suddenly. If I thought about her or anything related I needed to sit down. But I was coping. This is all I asked of life now. Occasionally I talked to the pack but only to see how Billy was. They had little to say to me these days. I know they wanted me back badly. But they just had no idea how much it hurt.

After working for another day, I was beat. Not from the work. That hardly made me sweat. This was what living was like now. I was exhausted from the effort to bother living. I didn't even have dinner before I collapsed on my shabby bed.

In my dream the lighting was familiar. Kind of dim, not sunlight. Well, not real sunlight. It was green. Too green. More than I remembered, even though I'd only been gone a few months. I saw a slight silhouette to my right. I pivoted to find its owner. Please no. Don't let it be........ The first thing I saw was the chocolate brown eyes. Filled with worry and guilt. But this wasn't my Bella. She was different somehow. Then I saw I had been fooling myself. Her eyes weren't even brown. Topaz. She was inhumanly beautiful. And I couldn't stand it one little bit.

"Hello Jacob." Her voice was like wind chimes. It made me sick. Of all the nightmares to have.......

"Hi."

"Why are you here? What are you doing in Phoenix?" her eyes guarded.

I laughed without humour. "To get away."

"From me." It wasn't a question.

"Everything. But yes, mainly you." I replied bluntly.

She winced. "I know this doesn't help, but I'm sorry."

I grinded my teeth and didn't reply.

"But Jake, when are coming home?' she inquired innocently.

"Never" I answered coldly.

"You'll have to eventually." She said sadly.

"And do what?" i snapped. "Mope around? Pretend to be okay while everything I see and do will remind me of you?"

"Maybe you won't." What? Had she lost it?

"And why wouldn't I?"

"Maybe you'd meet someone else" she replied with a sly smile.

I scowled in return. That was one thing I would never do. One heart could only do so much in its life time. And being shattered was more than enough.

"Really?" heavy scepticism.

"She's there. Waiting for you." She replied without thinking.

"What?"

"You both need each other. Go home Jake. Everyone misses you. They need you and you need them." She pleaded with her eyes.

"Will I get to say goodbye before you leave?" I asked grimly

She winced again. "Sorry Jake, but I've already left."

I guess I knew that. But I couldn't let her go......

Tears began to fill my eyes. "Bella, I miss you every moment of everyday."

She smiled sadly. "But you won't soon." She rose gracefully and started to tread back into the shadows.

"Bye Jake" she whispered so I could barely hear. And with that she was gone.

Pain overwhelmed me. I collapsed on the ground and lay there, listening to the nature surrounding me. The bird was beginning to sound very strange. Almost like a beep....

I woke to find myself trembling and sweating. With my alarm clock going off. I slammed my hand down on it and it shattered. With a sigh I fell back down onto the pillows. That dream had seemed so real. Accurate in every way. It unsettled me deeply. Sighing I forced myself out of bed and into the shower.

After finishing off the cereal packet and milk carton, I pulled the curtains aside to look at the view. Which there wasn't much of. But what it showed me was I what I needed. To go home. I was sick of the bright sun. I needed vegetation. Dense and vast. What home held for me I didn't know but I knew I had to go home anyway. Leaving, with a note to my boss and landlord, I departed without a second glance. Once I found somewhere deserted to phase I shrugged off my clothes. Luckily, they were on patrol.

Hey guys. I'm coming home.

Finally! Whoo Hooo! Embry.

Yeah, sorry dude.

It's cool man. Just get home quickly. Sam's starting to get pissed.

Kay. See you in a while.

Bye. And with that parting thought he was gone.

My feet pounding on the ground as I charge home, hoping I haven't missed too much. Leaving Arizona behind I head home to everything green and dense. Home. It felt good-even to me.