Story 2. Synposis: Bender becomes a reverse magnet and finds himself in the wild only thing the animals aren't animals, Fry is at an office being interrogated for something he didn't do, and the crew talks about the legend of Captain Cole.
Title Caption Gag: Africa is not a country, Sarah Palin's Head!
True Facts Gag: Sony, a world of technology that can't go wrong all for the price of 2 million dollars... too bad Fry spent his at Star Bucks.
Product Gag: Buy Ipod Master, it will send your ears all the way to powerful music... because you will become death by than.
Fry and Bender were at the WALL-E MART as they were looking for some cooking supplies.
"Look at this. It's two bucks for normal radish but seven bucks for radioactive radish? What a rip-off." Bender said.
"Radioactive Radish? Isn't that inedible?"
"Don't let the name fool you. It's just product marketing. That's all." He said.
"So it's just normal radish?" He asked.
"What? No! It's radioactive alright but this isn't real radish since it's made from a factory. You do know your in a robot market right?" He asked.
"I suppose so but is this for just yourself or for us..." Fry gulped not wanting to eat robot food.
"It's another one of my friendly brunches. Only everything is ingredients made for robots but it's always fun to find out new tastes." He said. "Look at this. They have compasses on sale in the veggie area. What idiot messed this up? It belongs in the meat section moron!"
"Compass? What do robots eat that's like meat?" He said.
"Well... mercury, iron, sometimes steel if cooked right but can be highly dangerous like puffer fish turning into sushi."
"Yeah, well these compasses probably be better off in a salad than sell for navigation since well... lots of people already have them."
"Wait... but what if suddenly the magnetic field went wrong and people need new compasses? Hmm... and interesting idea indeed..." Bender thought.
"Bender, are you going to reverse the magnetic field and suddenly people realize they need new compasses as they think something is wrong with them and than your going to sell some compasses?" Fry asked.
"What? No! I actually thinking of gluing the needle stuck tight to the compass and they realize it has been going that all day... but your idea is more interesting. I'll steal that idea of yours Fry." He said.
"Me and my big mouth." Fry watched Bender run away.
"Hey? Are you going to pay for that radioactive radish or am I going to kick you out?" An Monster Sized Wall-E Employee came.
"Now he's forcing me to pay for his stuff." Fry said.
He looked into his wallet and saw no money.
"Damn it! Bender forced me to pay last time." Fry thought.
"Were you attempting to steal my products? You're the Bending Bandit aren't you! Security!" He yelled.
'Bending Bandit? I can't bend. You must've mean my friend Bender!" He said.
"Sure... where is this friend of yours. Bender?" He spoke sarcastically as Fry was the only one at the Robot Veggie Section.
"Good News Everyone!" Prof. Farnsworth came in to the employee lounge as Leela, Amy, Zoidberg, Hermes, and Scruffy were all watching TV.
"What it is? Is this the same crap you say everyday or what?" Zoidberg asked.
"My military buddy is coming over for dinner. He's now Captain Cole of the Zeus Spaceship." Farnsworth smiled.
"Wait? You mean the Captain Cole! That guy's a legend!" Hermes said.
"Is he one of those guys that have a story that's told somewhat great but then later is revealed to be some dumb pervert? Been there." Leela said.
"No. He's no pervert. In fact, he won the medal of honor and was an inspiration to us all back than. I was there when we were both privates back in the day." Farnsworth spoke.
"You know. I heard one time I heard from my friend that this guy took on the whole Space Imperial Army at the Planet Cronus 14." Hermes spoke.
"No way that could happen. You need an army for something like that."
"Oh... he's more dangerous than you think... he took out many armies with only a squad but imagine only him fighting and just him!" Hermes said. "Imagine that.
(Hermes Imagination)
Captain Cole was invading a city all by himself as every species of the Imperial Army joined force to destroy him but everyone of them fell to their knees due to there might. Suddenly several spacecrafts were floating in the air aiming their weaponry towards them. Suddenly the spacecraft fell to the ground all by them self only because of Captain's Cole's Awesomeness. The Captain stood before the fallen army as...
"Is Awesomeness even a word?" Bender walked in the flashback.
"Bender! Why did you have to ruined that moment?" Hermes asked.
"Whatever. Hey professor. Can I use your untested unstable reversal magnet thingy?" Bender asked.
"Uh.. sure.. whatever." He spoke.
Bender entered the Professor's Lab and spotted a huge magnet at the corner.
"Let's Spice things up a bit." He said.
A minute later, the crew heard an explosion from the lab. They quickly entered the lab and saw Bender standing next to the destroyed Magnet.
"Bender! What on Earth did you do?" Farnsworth yelled.
"Hey! You told me that I can use this thing!" Bender responded.
"I said no such thing! Why I should punch you and..."
Before the professor could do anything about it, he was suddenly pushed towards the wall as Bender didn't even touch him.
"What the?" Bender said. "How did I pushed you without even landing a finger?"
"Hmm... Bender, you must've become a reverse magnet from that explosion you created. Whenever you try to go near anything or anyone, they just get pushed away by the force of reverse magnetism." He said.
"That doesn't sound good."
"Yes... and since no one can work with a robot with that kind of ability, your fired!"
"What!" Bender said.
"Yes. Go find a different job."
"Can I at least take a ride in the Planet Express Ship one more time?" He asked.
"Oh fine." Hermes answered.
Bender ran past them as the crew were pushed to the hard wall, yet the robot didn't notice.
"Man, I'm glad you fired him now."
Suddenly a huge mess was heard outside the lab. The crew ran outside and saw the Planet Express Ship being pushed through the brick wall, destroying the wall into a hole, and now standing outside as Bender stood in front of it without even touching the ship.
"This is going to cost me..." Bender said.
Fry was in the Security Place as the WALL-E Employee was on the phone.
"Uh-huh? Yes? Your parents are coming Bender."
"Bender's Parents? Look! Bender is a robot! Do I look like anything like a robot?"
"How do I know your one of those robot's with the ability to disguise yourself as an human? I've seen that trick many times."
"Wait? They have the things that are like The Terminators in the future? Awesome!" Fry said.
"Oh come on! Why not give me alcohol!" Bender said as he was in the Rum Store.
"Because your causing problems to me and my jugs!" The Owner said as he and his merchandise was being pushed to the ceiling.
Bender walked out of the Rum Store and began to take steps on the streets as he was walking sadly, looking down to the ground when people around him were being pushed onto the road and getting hit by floating cars screaming.
"Man, No Booze, No Girls, No looting, No Crashing the Party even all because of this stupid magnetic ability." Bender said.
"MY LEG!" A Guy screamed as he got pushed by Bender's Reverse Magnetism and onto the road getting hit by a car.
"What am I going to do? No one's helping me. Is there anyone who wants to help me!"
"I NEED AN AMBULANCE!" Another man screamed as he too was pushed to the road and got hit by a car.
"Well. There's only one solution now." Bender spotted the Suicide Booth.
As Bender got near it, the booth suddenly got pushed. He became angry and tried to get in only for it to push further.
"Damn it. What now!" Bender said. "If there was only a way to end this horrible curse! I could go off to the wild and hope that I die of loneliness."
Zoidberg entered the Employee Lounge seeing the crew and said, "Hey? Where's Bender and Fry?"
"Oh. We fired him for having reverse magnetism attached to his body as for Fry I don't know." Hermes said.
"Oh, what are you guy's talking about? Him again?' Zoidberg asked.
"Were talking about the legendary Captain Cole. Rumor has it that he can never die." Leela said.
"That's got to be impossible. I've seen many people got hit by cars today. Just this day on the news it said some Reverse Magnetic Jerk caused Car Accidents skyrocketing in New New York. Also I just got hit by a car because of walking by Bender once... still I'm going to get this Magnetic Jerk for..."
"Uh.. Zoidberg? You do know that the Magnetic Jerk is Bender right?" Leela asked.
"Whatever. I don't believe you."
"Uh-huh... anyway, I wonder what Captain Cole is like to be unkillable." Amy thought.
(Leela's Imagination)
Captain Cole was shooting at an army of Aliens as he had arrows, knives, stick grenades all over his skin and yet he was still alive. The aliens tried to shoot him but he was somehow impervious to their laser guns.
"So uh? Captain Cole is supposed to be a legend?" Zoidberg stepped into the flashback.
"Zoidberg you dope! You just can't stop talking one bit can you?" Farnsworth spoke.
"I guess so but what's so great about this Captain Guy? Are we supposed to expect he's a hero and then suddenly he's some perverted idiot?" Zoidberg asked.
"Leela already said that so you can shut your trap hole and quiet down already." Farnsworth spoke.
"So... uh... where's Bender after he's been fired and where's Fry?"
Bender was hiding behind tall grass of an old dusty desert as a Camera Bot was looking at him.
"Hello! It's me Bender!" Bender said. "I am being monitored by this Camera Bot because well his eyes are a camera and he's lonely in the wild! Yes! The wild. I am going to record every action I do just to show how great I am if they found this tape. First thing first! We need food and we found the perfect animal for that."
Bender and the Camera Bot went for a closer look and saw a Hybrid Car feeding on the alcoholic lakes like a zebra.
"This here is the robot herbivore supposedly it's fuel by clean energy but we all know that every robot today still needs alcohol." Bender said. "We will hunt down this Hybrid Car and it will become food due to the delicious energy it has inside and... Shh! Wait."
Suddenly the Hybrid heard something from another part of the grass. It was a predator and it tried to attack the Hybrid Car for it was a Monster Truck.
"Robot Nature's Monster Truck. One of the most vicious predators around these days and it's after that Hybrid."
Bender watched as the Hybrid was driving away from the Monster Truck but it was too late... it's small left wheel got crushed by its big wheel. The Hybrid was lifeless and the Monster Truck began to eat the screws, bolts, and it's energy inside of it.
"Road Rage Violence... common in the wild huh? Look, it's a pack of motorcycles waiting to eat what's left of the Hybrid. True Scavengers as well." Bender spoke to the camera bot.
The Monster Truck growled at the pack of hungry Motorcycles as they stepped back waiting for a turn to have what's left of the hybrid.
Fry was at the hall as WALL-E got another phone call.
"Uh-huh? Your getting a visit from the Manager of WALL-E Mart! Come on in boss! I'll translate what he's saying."
The boss of the whole huge store entered the place and Fry wondered why a small rusty robot named WALL-E was the manager.
"BEEP BOP BLOOP" WALL-E spoke.
"He says you're a menace to every store existing" He said.
"BLOP BLOOP BLEEP BEEP BEEP BOP!"
"He says that if your parents don't come in and pay the fine, you're going to jail because this could be your last crime!"
"BEEP BLOP BEEP BLOP!"
"Also he says that you are a Mother..."
NOTE! THIS SCENE HAS TOO MUCH CURSING THAT THE PARENT TV COUNCIL VOTED TO CENSOR THIS WHOLE SING! SO INSTEAD OF CENSORING IT! WILL SHOW WHAT'S HAPPENING OUTSIDE OF THE MART DURING THE SIX HOURS OF CURSING.
Customers were about to enter until they heard an argument through an window.
"You have to be the most stupid Son of a..."
Suddenly the Cursing was censored by the loud CRASH! sound of a Piano being thrown into the window as the customers said, "Ooh! That's got to hurt!'
"And You will be grateful that I don't..."
"Suddenly the sounds of a struggling Cat was heard as the Customers said, "Ooh! Not again!"
Six hours later...
Thousands of Customers outside heard as the WALL-E Employee translated WALL-E, the manager, words into, "You are the most despicable kind of... ". Out of nowhere, the sound of guitar destroyed appeared as people say, "Ooh! Stop the cursing already!"
The Crew was at the Hangar cleaning the Spaceship as they were still talking about the ship.
"Okay. I get that he's great and all... but do we really need to talk about him all day?" Scruffy the Janitor asked.
"You know. One time my cousin heard from his friend that he took down one of the General all by his boot!" Zoidberg said.
"Impossible I say. I bet that general was fifty feet tall and dangerous as hell." Scruffy said.
"You say that but imagine what he done at that time using his only boot to take out the top general of the biggest Empire in the world." Zoidberg spoke.
(Zoidberg's Imagination)
The General was in Hi-Tech Armor as he was with his guards. The first thing he saw in the Royal Hallway was soldiers on the ground with bumps all over their head.
"Wha... What happened here?" The General spoke.
Suddenly, Captain Cole jumped out of the ceiling and jumped onto the General's Back with a boot. The guards armed their guns to Captain Cole but the General ordered, "Stay down! Don't shoot! Don't Shoot!" as he could also be shot, but already the General was hit repeatedly by his boot until he finally fell to the floor.
Captain Cole stood and saw the guards just standing there in fear... they couldn't take the fear anymore and just ran away from the mighty Captain Cole.
"He scared them? Doesn't leave much action if you ask me." Scruffy said.
"Quit it! We already got Bender and Zoidberg in the first imagination as trouble. Do you have to enter?" Amy asked.
"Sorry. I'm just wonder where Bender might have been..." Scruffy said.
The Camera Bot was staring at Bender as he was hiding in the bushes near not-just-any-normal-lake.
"Okay... we will attempt to drink some alcohol from this alcohol lake after the creation of alcohol rain through water-alcohol alchemy appeared after people figure out a way to turn rocks into gold which was illegal due to making gold being common and thus making gold almost useless to the economy."
Bender looked for signs of predators hoping that none will come, looking safe now he decided to sneak towards the alcohol lake hoping no one sees him. He was not at the lake as he had a thirst for alcohol.
"No signs of predators but I must watch out. You never know when they might come..." Bender spoke to the Camera Bot.
Bender attempted to get a drink from the alcohol lake until a giant submarine emerged from the lake like a crocodile and almost attacked Bender. He quickly ran away as the submarine roared at him like a vicious animal. Bender ran away as fast as he can while the Submarine swam back in the lake with a school of Mini Sized Unmanned Underwater Vehicles as they were cleaning off the Submarines Micro Sized Unmanned Water Vehicles thus having a Mutual Relationship or cooperative...
The WALL-E Employee and the manager, WALL-E, finally heard a knock on the door.
"Your parents are here!" He said.
"Never seen Bender's parents before." Fry thought to himself.
Suddenly the wall bursted in the office as Bender's Mother, a Robotic Arm who moved by wheels.
"Your Bender's Mother. Too bad his dad died from magnets and a giant can opener." Fry said.
"Oh he's not dead... well he was once until they fixed and reboot him, but were pretty much divorced after that. Hey! COME IN YOU FILTHY TRASH BAG!" The Robotic Arm said.
"Yep. That's Bender's Mom alright..." Fry said.
Suddenly out came an angry Black Bird Vehicle as he broke the wall a little larger.
"Where is that son of mine! Get out here!"
"That's Bender's father! He's huge!" He said.
"Yeah... I was just a computer until I switched bodies into the computer of a Black Bird after I got destroyed. Anyway.. where's Bender?"
"Right here sir." the WALL-E Employee spoke.
"That's not Bender. I would remember all my 73578 sons and daughters." The Robotic Arm said.
"Yeah right after you cheated on me with those other man bots."
"Man, you two have real problems." Fry said.
"So wait! Wait! This guy isn't the Bending Bandit? You mean he's really human? Oh.. uh.. sorry. You can go."
"So wait? If you can switch bodies. Does that mean you can go through computers in vehicles, tanks, and even government property?"
"Do it all the time... Who are you anyway?"
"I'm Bender's Best Friend."
"Uh-huh... look. If you see him. Tell him that dad's going to punish that little brat."
"Man... the whole family seems to have issues..." Fry thought.
"Anyway I'm going to search for that bot! He's going to due 1 billion push-ups under a milli-second!"
Suddenly the Black Bird blasted off through the ceiling as they watched.
Bender was walking under the sun as he built shelter out of the dead Hybrid's Inside Structure that was not considered edible for Robots.
"Yeah, so... I'm building the remains of the Hybrid, which is practically called bones in a Human way... and yeah." Bender showed the Camera bot his shelter.
Bender attempted to crawl into his shelter only for it to fall on him to rubble.
"Dang it! Hey. Maybe those General Atomics MQ-9 Reaper Drones that are circling like hungry vultures in the sky will help me! Hey! Over here! Eh... what's the use..."
Bender said as he fell to the ground.
"Wait a minute! Why isn't the camera bot and some of those predators affected by my reverse magnetism!" Bender just got up realizing it. "Unless. It wore off! I can go home with my friends and a job back and... huh? How do I get home... Hmm... If I predict the wind right... I can tell which way's North. It's a fifty percent good chance but what else can I do?"
Several minutes later, unfortunately Bender was not one of those people with good fifty chance. Instead he was crawled up and sitting on the rubble of the Hybrid as the Reaper Military Vehicles above continued to circle.
Fry entered the Hangar and saw his friends talking about something.
"Hey? What are you all doing?" Fry asked.
"Talking about the Captain Cole! Farnsworth used to be his military buddies back in the day." Hermes said.
"Hey? Where's Bender? I just met his parents. Turns out that his father can switch computer to computer through online." He said.
"That's great and all... anyway... "
"I'm back baby!" Bender entered the hangar as a rusty sobered dusty bot.
"Bender! What the heck happened to you?" He said.
"Yeah... well... you see I was wondering aimlessly in the wild until I notice that my magnetic abilities wore off. I lost all hope until my dad found me as a Black Bird since they can spot almost everyone in the world like a satellite since it can go high altitude. He found me and gave me a long punishment that not even I can handle and so I'm here."
"That's great Bender. What's the punishment?"
"I have to be nice to all of you..." Bender sighed. "Anyway? Who are we talking about here?"
"Some guy named Captain Cole. Supposed to be legend around Earth but I think he's just some guy looking like a legend at first but when you actually meet the guy... he turns out to be a jerk."
"He's coming over for dinner and it will be a great honor." Zoidberg spoke.
"You mean the Captain Cole... I heard that from my friend that his friend that his cousin's that his uncle that his friend that goes back to his uncle again and his grandpa that goes to his second grandchild for some reason suppose to have lasers coming out of his eye and no one knows why... I'll become a legend if I looted that guy!"
"Lasers? Sounds like a bluff."
"Yeah, but you could imagine how that would be at least if he did lasers from his eyes."
(Bender's Imagination)
Captain Cole stood angrily as he saw the Imperial Armies giant Warship. Suddenly his eyes started glowing red as he yelled out, "EERRAAHHHHH!". Red Lasers beamed out of his eyes and went directly to the Imperial Armies Giant Warship in sky leaving it destroyed and crash landing into the ground.
"Now you kind of think about it... it really does sound like a bluff from my friend and so on." Bender said.
"Seriously? What's the big deal of this Captain Cole guy." Fry said.
"Well so far, all we know that he won many battles... though the stuff we talk about are just rumors." Leela said.
"Yes but you don't know where he might strike." Bender spoke.
"Uh.. Bender shush!" Amy stepped back from Fry.
"He says to be as silent as the wind, cold as a wolf, strong as a grizzly bear, and smart as an owl."
"Bender..." Leela said as she also stepped back.
"Many rumors about the legendary man... some say he can kill you by just landing a finger on you... some say that he can use only a carving knife in swordfights..."
"Bender..." Zoidberg said as he also step back.
"He could appear anywhere and at anytime..." He said.
Suddenly the whole crew stepped back away from Fry as they were shocked.
"What's wrong with you? All I said that he can appear anywhere and at anytime... Oh my god!" Bender said as he looked at Fry.
"What's wrong with all of you? You look you just saw a ghost?" Fry said. "I still don't see any proof that he's great. He's probably a Jerk like I said before. I bet all those rumors are false and he's just some plain simple guy who just talks how great he is which is kind of selfish and... He's right behind me isn't he?"
Captain Cole simply just stood there as Fry did not want to turn around... suddenly Captain Cole's Eye's were Glowing Red, meaning the laser eye rumors were true, every light went blackout as the crew watched.
"Whatever you do! Don't look towards his eyes!" Zoidberg said under the power outage.
Suddenly the sound of a laser appeared and Zoidberg said, "Oh, too late!"
It was morning and Fry woke up from bed.
"Hello Meat bag!" Bender entered his room.
"Hi Bender. That Captain Cole guy was actually a humorous guy. I'm glad he missed and we just had dinner."
"Uh-huh... than what's that below your jacket?" Bender pointed to his rights side of chest.
Fry looked and saw a huge burnt hole under his jacket that went all the way through under his jacket.
"Eh. I can get this fixed easily. It's the future right."
"Technically it's the present but to you meat bag. Yeah it's the future." Bender said. "Anyway, let's see some sunshine from here".
Bender went to the curtains, opened it, and saw something he expected that he would never see again.
"Wait here meat bag. Got to take care of some business." Bender said.
Bender walked out of the Robot Arms Apartment and hid under a bush, this time he held a shotgun, as he spotted the predator, the Monster Truck called, "Bigfoot" sleeping at near the Robot Arms Apartment. Bender jumped out and shot all over the air with his shotgun hoping he will scare it away... Instead, he awaken the Monster Truck causing it to be angry and he ran over Bender multiple times as he said, "No! Not the face! Not the face!"... and thus the Monster Truck ran to his face too.
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