Chapter 3- Loss of sanctuary
(OOC: song theme: 'Never Let Me Go' – Florence and the machine)
I walk over to the fridge, open the door and grab a jug of water out. The glassy surface is covered in a thin layer of moisture, granting a distorted translucent view instead of a normal transparent one. It makes it harder to see things clearly, it makes it disillusioned. Just like me. Things were meant to have been better. Things were have meant to clear up, to be transparent. But no. Nothings is ever as it seems. Nothing is transparent. Some people like it that way though. In my thoughts lives can be compared to different depths in the ocean. The closer you are to the surface, the more visible. The deeper you are the less visible. Some people will dive down into the water, further and further, at any chance they are given, whilst others are crushed by the atmospheric pressure pushed on them. They have gone too far down. I know what level I am, I am one of the few people who have gone too far, who have been crushed and they are simply just watching their body slowly drift down deeper and deeper. I want to swim up, I want to take my first breath, I want to do so many things, things which I can't do at this pressure. But I am stuck. I want to see life, to see the moonlight for more than just a fractured dot. But I am no longer in control; I am just driftwood in the arms of the ocean, waiting for someone, anybody who can manage the pressure of the deep, for them to swim to me and rescue me. I scream for Cato to help, but whenever I open my mouth, water fills its way in, deeming my pitiful cries, useless. Even if I manage to scream, to make any sound at all, he wouldn't hear me. He is too far away… in a different pressure…
(Past time)
It has been two weeks since I joined the Douglas family. I have come to know everyone so well in such little time, even Eucario and Acacius. In my time here, I have found out that Ms Douglas's favourite colour is a lighter variant of magenta, her favourite food is smoked salmon and she loves wild roses. Just last Tuesday, she had taken me shopping. To be honest, I really didn't want to go. I'm one of those people who despise the word shopping with such pure hatred. But, I couldn't refuse, she had been so happy about the thought of taking me shopping. I guess that having a family of only boys makes you crave for the girly side of things again. And despite my thoughts about shopping, it actually turned out to be really fun. Yes you heard me correctly: fun. I ended up getting a pair of brown cargo jeans, black shorts, a dark blue shirt and various other things. Ms Douglas also ended up getting a few things: a pair of faded blued skinny jeans, black jeans, an orangey-brown shirt, etc. We were about to leave when she had stopped at a rack. She had pulled off a black dress.
"Clove, try this on" She said as she handed it to me.
"Umm, Ms Douglas?"
"Call me Grace"
"Okay, Grace?"
"What is it?"
"I'm not exactly a dress type person" I said as I held the dress out to her.
"Nonsense. It will look amazing on you" She said as she pushed it back to me. "Now go try it on" She demanded. I took a step toward the changing rooms before giving a hesitant look back. "Off you go!" Prompted by the eagerness in her voice I made my way to the changing room. Once I got into the room I muttered angrily about being persuaded to wear a dress. I had only wore a dress once before, and that was at my uncle's wedding when I was five. When I was ten I had vowed never to wear a dress, as I thought that they were only for girly girls, the type you find at school being the plastics. I took off my clothes and put on the dress as quickly as possible, hoping to get this over and done with as soon as possible. As I put on the dress I turned away from the mirror, trying to avoid myself seeing me in such a petty state.
I must have been taking a while because Ms Douglas knocked on the changing room door.
"Are you finished yet?" She asked.
"I just need to zip up the back" I responded.
The door opened and Ms Douglas stepped in.
"Here let me help you with that" I obediently turned so my back was facing her. She zipped it up quickly with nimble fingers. "Now let me look at you" I turned back around, facing her. "Wow… you are beautiful! What do you think?" My curiosity bested my stubbornness and I looked in the mirror. The dress was elegant yet seductive, it was sleeveless – stopping at the shoulders- and the bottom of the dress stopped just above my knees and wasn't too frilled, thankfully. The word frills to me is synonymous with: blech, yuck and hurry-up-and-kill-me-now. The middle of the dress possessed a dark grey and brown belt with silver studs.
"I love it" I said, being sadly, completely truthful. It made me look stunning.
"Well, take it off now so I can buy it" I obliged. That was when I saw the price tag. $200.
"No that is far too pricey. I don't need it" I said reluctantly.
"Well, why don't you consider it an early birthday present?" She said as she took the dress.
"My birthday is eight months away!" I protest.
"Fine, consider it a late one then" She smirked as she turned toward the cashier. My mouth opened in another attempt to object but no words came out. They were held back by temptation. And that's how I robbed a kind woman of two hundred dollars…
I have also come to know Acacius better. I have found out that he loves science, and when he grows up he wants to be a hydrologist. I have actually taken him to the local creek a few times for him to study it. He has shown me how to test the water quality and the turbidity. I know that he has two best friends called Galen and Alexis. I also know that he has a crush on Alexis…
Eucario, the six year old boy wants to be just like his older brother Cato. He demands to be put into training school next year, but his mother doesn't think it is right for him to decide so early. She tells him when he's ten he can make that decision, this resolution is generally met by an angry six year old though.
I sit in the lounge room, waiting for Cato to get ready so we can go to training. Acacius sits next to me and we are talking quietly, trying not to wake up Eucario or his mother. It is six in the morning at the moment, the only reason Acacius is up is because he is committed to getting up to do at least an hour of studying every morning and night. At the moment, he is having a break. We are talking about his birthday, which is next week.
"So what do you want to do for it?" I ask.
The boy shrugs. "I don't know"
"Why don't you ask your mum if you can have Alexis and Galen over?" I suggest.
"Do you think she would let me?"
"I don't see why not" The boy sends me a smile which reflects the meaning of his name: innocent. An echo of footsteps looming from around the corner interrupts the converse.
"You ready Clove?" Cato says.
"Pshh, don't act like I'm the reason we will be late" I say adding a slight laugh on the end as I get up and join the towering blonde. "Bye Acacius" I wave to the boy before we head out the door.
It is autumn, the leaves are falling and the early air is starting to cool. I shiver as we trudge our way through the litter of leaves. I look over at Cato who is wearing our grey uniform, which was made to be the same colour of the rocks we mine; to remind us of our districts specialty: masonry. The uniform is composed of a polo shirt and a pair of shorts which go just over the knees. On the right of the chest stands a small golden emblem saying 'Heroicus State School'. People don't need to even look at the words to know that we attend a training school. The colour of the emblem -gold-, is the colour given to all prestigious schools, as they are seen to be the highest ranked. Private schools are the second highest and are granted silver emblems. Whilst public schools are given a plain bronze. Acacius attends a Private took him two years to persuade his mother into letting him though, eventually like all parents she gave in.
Prestigious schools are locally renowned for their training, or to a peacekeeper their 'excellence in physical areas', whilst Private schools are renowned for their excellence in academics. Eucario has just started his first year at Public school.
I do not bother to try at a conversation with Cato; in my years of experience with him I have come to know that he isn't exactly a 'morning person'… to put it lightly. I know he can get ticked off at the slightest things, like for example: if I stand too close to him. This is why I stand a reasonable two meters away.
After ten minutes of walking we arrive at the all prestigious Heroicus State School. We make it just prior to the sounding of first period. I have hand to hand combat and Cato has cross country training –in order to improve stamina-. I wave to him as we part. This is the first day back at school after the summer holidays. I can't wait to talk to Athesius –my good friend-, I haven't seen him since last day of school.
I walk over to room seven and open the door. The room is more of a gym without equipment than a classroom. The walls are a neutral grey and the room on a whole is barren and empty of everything besides people. It seems everyone is already there. I'm instantly overcome with joy when I see Athesius. Out of the ten or twelve students here he is the only one who instantly grabs my eye. His hair is a rebellious light variant of orange, his eyes a bright light red –contacts I'm sure- and his skin a usual dark tanned colour. He stands against a wall, arms crossed, with an expression that portrays a seemingly bored figure. His eyes find me and I watch as his expression instantly disintegrates. Athesius has always been set apart from others with his visual appearance and his calmly cool demeanor. I'm guessing the blend of these two things is what sets him as hot by the entire girl population. I won't lie either, his insurgent style does appeal to me… but don't get me wrong, we are nothing more than friends.
"Thank God you are here Clove… I don't think I could have survived in such a boring atmosphere" His words catch a few glares from the guys around us. The girls all seem to be preoccupied with their ogling to hear a word.
"Boring?" I laugh; this was one of the least boring places ever. Considering the whole weapon handling and constantly trying to better one another in order to prove that you should be the tribute to bring glory and honour to our district. "Are you sure you and I are even in the same place? And besides, how can it be boring when you are constantly stringing a whole flock of girls with you wherever you go?" I motion to some of the girls with love-sick dopey grins on their face.
He laughs. "It's a lot more tiring than you'd think… anyway where's the teacher?" I turn my head. There's no sight of any teacher, which is strange, because in a training school punctuality is to be perfect or consequences are dealt… and that's to either party. I have never, not once in my entire experience at Heroicus have ever had a late teacher. I shrug in response.
"Who cares?" I say drunk on the thought of having a free period.
"True. How was your summer?" There it was: the daunting question.
"Good" I lie, adding a smile to the end. To be honest I don't know why I said it, Athesius is my best friend, I guess I just didn't want to be forsaken with everyone's pity like I'm a walking charity. And who knows, maybe if I act like it never happened I might be able to believe it.
"Come on give me details Clove"
I sigh. "Well, I spent majority of my time training and sleeping. Detailed enough for you?" I don't why I lied again. I guess once I started I couldn't stop. "What about you Athesius? Didn't catch to many STD's I hope"
He laughs. "Oh you think you have me all figured out don't you?" His voice carries a certain edge which makes me just want to laugh with him, smile with him and basically follow him around like one of his fan clubbers. "And for your information, I didn't get with anyone…" I already know that. Athesius, despite his authority over women has never been much of a womanizer. "Not like that anyways" I look in shock towards him, his face is lathered in mischief.
"Do go on"
"It's nothing like you are thinking, so don't let your thoughts get the best of you…" He flashes me an infamous toothy grin. "As you are aware, my parents took me to District four for the holidays…"
"Beach romance?"
He nods. "I was lying down on the beach" Undoubtedly furthering his dark tan "And that's where I saw her. Or more so felt her…" I arch my eyebrow.
"Hands on hand action already?"
Athesius lets out a small chuckle. "Not quite. She tripped over me" A smile crawls on to my face. "She apologized and the-"
I interrupt. "Let me guess, she swooned over your good looks"
He shakes his head and I fake gasp. "She was about to leave actually. I don't know why but I offered to buy her an ice cream"
"She was totally hot wasn't she?"
"How could you think so little of me my friend?"
"So she wasn't?"
"I didn't say that… to be honest I have no idea what she looked like" I crack up laughing. "What?" He sends me an expression, one which I cannot distinguish from a squint and a glare.
"How can you have a girl trip over you yet have no idea what she looks like?" I laugh; the whole concept was so obscure.
"She was wearing a velvet red cloak which not only masked her body but her face as well"
I snicker. "Are you sure you didn't fall asleep during 'red riding hood'?" He rolls his eyes at me. "You really expect me to believe that this girl was fully cloaked in velvet in the middle of summer… on a beach?"
"I know it sounds completely ridiculous but you have to believe me, it really happened. Anyway, she took me up on my offer, we talked a bit more and things kind of just took off… she invited me to a party three days later, but it was a mask party… there she told me it was her last night, so we made the most of the time we had left" I start to open my mouth in question but he cuts me off "Not like that. Seriously get your head out of the sewers… we kissed… again and again"
"Did you ask her to take off her mask?"
"Of course, but she refused, she said it would break the mystery of the moment…"
"Sounds like someone found love"
"No… someone found the pitiful aching afterwards. Now I'll never see her aga-" The boy is cut off.
A sudden noise echoes throughout the air. A loud deafening noise. The noise sounds four more times and that's when I know what it is. Gun shots.
My heart stops. The shots come from outside… from where Cato should be running…
I push open the door. Athesius's arm wraps around mine. "Clove, no" I shake the hold and sprint towards the unknown. "Cato!" I shout, I need to know if he is safe. Thoughts of the bath incident replay in my mind. The only thing that prevented me from killing myself was Cato. If he is no longer here, nothing will hold me back. I need that reassurance I need that tight hold, the one which prevents me dropping of the side of the world, I need Cato's hold. Don't let go. Don't let go of me. Please… never let me go.
My feet crash against the ground noisily, I don't hear it though, all I hear is the sound of a racing heart and the distant screams as another bullet is shot. By now, the lockdown bell has sounded, indicating to anyone who has the slightest brain to hide, to lock the doors and cower in fear. The only fear I feel is the dread of losing the boy I love. The screams get closer and before I know it I am looking into the face of the killer. He raises the gun, taking aim at my head. My mouth parts. I know this man. I know this broken soul. His hand tenses around the gun and I can only find the voice for one word.
"Dad…"
(OOC: Guest - I'm sorry for not introducing Peeta yet, I honestly was planning on bringing him in last chapter but I have sudden bursts of inspirations and then find I have over stepped the word limit for the chapter... I promise to introduce him soon! But i'm so glad you are enjoying it so far!
ClovelyCato555- Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like it! It means so much to me when other authors review! I hope this doesn't disappoint you!)
Thanks for reviewing, I wasn't on planning on updating today but I saw both of your reviews and I felt like it was my duty thanks again!)
