A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed! Hope you are enjoying this as much as we did! It is actually all finished, so it's just a matter of updating. We will try to update once a day, so check back often!
...
Leon entered the throne room, somewhat agitated but trying to see this unpleasant situation from Gwaine's…alternate point of view. After all, poor Gwaine knew practically nothing about Camelot, when you came down to it.
"Look," he said as Gwaine entered behind him. "I understand this all must be very new to you. But that isn't how we do things here."
"What, the show of force?" Gwaine replied, still clearly riding high off his victories, though at least he had the decency to attempt a penitent look. "You know I really am sorry about that, but sometimes they just need to be shown who's top dog, am I right?" Still, Gwaine clapped Leon firmly on the shoulder, grinning.
"Not like that, I hope." He sighed. "I'm sorry I shouted at you. But I am responsible for the knights, and Camelot follows a strict code of conduct at all times-you can't just...go off on an idea like that!"
Gwaine's grin widened, if that was possible. (It was, unfortunately, always possible). "But it worked, didn't it?" He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, but Leon wasn't in a playful mood, and he quickly changed the subject. "All right, well, might as well have that 'meeting' now, yeah? What's our action plan?" He hopped up on the table and crossed his legs: presumably his down-to-business stance, which looked, to Leon, not at all down-to-business.
"Right," Leon said, somewhat surprised at Gwaine's behavior, but he took advantage of the opportunity nonetheless, and pulled out his notebook. "Well, first we will need to divide up our duties. Those include training the new recruits, seeing to the guests, managing the budget…"
"Bored now." Gwaine leaped off the table. "Here's an idea. You take care of all the boring bureaucratic nonsense, and I'll make sure the men get trained. There's an idea, now! You just tick the little things off your list and you tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it! That'll be smashing. Brilliant, well, I'm glad we've got that worked out..." Gwaine made ready to leave.
"H-hold on!" Leon said, bewildered. "There's more to it than that! Arthur said—"
"Yeah, but Arthur's not here." Gwaine winked. "So long as Camelot's in one piece when he gets back, I think he'll survive, and be none the wiser. So. I'll go teach the boys a hangover cure, and you let me know when I need to start booting the nobs and nobility out the front gates. We have got a catapult, haven't we? Only joking."
"That's not—!" But Gwaine was already skipping down the hallway, and Leon had to admit under his breath, "Alright, that's a bit funny." But he felt bad for thinking it.
Well, his list wouldn't finish itself. He had his meeting with Gwaine, of sorts, and Gwaine "discussed" chain of command with the knights. He glanced over the list, ticking those tasks off. Next: seeing to the needs of the wedding guests. That meant, of course, subtly hinting at them to leave.
'Bureaucratic nonsense' indeed—he'd be more surprised if he survived the day than if Gwaine did training the knights. At least they didn't already know how to kill you….
…
"All right, boys!" Gwaine slapped his hands together as he trotted down the stairs to meet the men.
"Is Mum mad at you, Da?" Elyan joked.
"You sleeping out in the cold again?" Percival teased.
"Don't talk about your mother like that, Percy. It's no wonder she had me over for dinner last night without you!"
A chorus of juvenile "Ohh!"s erupted from the knights, followed by laughter as Percival's face colored. Gwaine clapped him on the arm and smiled widely at the group.
"So! King Arthur wants me to see to it that he has the best knights in Albion upon his return. Since he already has the best knights in all of Albion, that is to say he doesn't want you lot getting fat and soft while he's gone!"
The knights laughed again. Which was good.
"All right, then, ladies, gear up! I want everyone in full plate and back here within the hour. And I know we're all hurting so I'll see what I can do about rustling up a hangover cure before you get back. So don't be late or it'll all be gone!"
Gwaine was, rightly, famous for his hangover cure. The recipe was secret, though the ingredients were common, but since he was in desperate need of it himself it wasn't much more difficult to make a cauldron full of it and dole it out. The knights returned with lunches: bread and cheese and various leftovers pinched from the palace kitchens. They had a regular feast, right there on the grass, and it ended up taking them much more than one hour before all of them were ready, fed, hangover-cured, and dressed in full plate mail on the training ground.
"Everyone happy?"
A resounding affirmative.
"Good!" he exclaimed. "Then I won't keep you. I just have one training exercise planned for you today—"
He could hear Lancelot whispering to another knight "Right, his seat's getting cold at the Rising Sun, let's see how long this lasts."
Gwaine smiled broadly at him, and Lancelot shut his mouth, unsure if he had been overheard.
"Everyone see the flag behind me?" Gwaine pointed vaguely behind him.
"Yeah," came a few responses.
"Get it down."
"What?" Percival laughed. "You're joking, right?"
Gwaine turned to survey the object again.
"Oh!" he laughed. "Not that flag."
The smile was gone from Percival's face.
"I meant that flag!" Gwaine beamed, pointing straight up—and up and up—to the topmost tower in all of Camelot. "And I'm not talking stairs, ladies. We're climbing the castle walls. You got a girl you want to impress? This is how you do it. You've got a castle to besiege, again, this is how you do it. This is a highly useful skill that translates directly into the field. And the only way to learn it is to do it." Gwaine hefted a large bundle of rope over his shoulder.
Lancelot stepped forward. "You're serious, Gwaine? The entire castle? In full plate mail? This is insane!"
Gwaine smirked at Sir I'd-Rather-Be-Writing-Sad-Poetry-A-Lot, who looked like he felt he was being made fun of. "Oh, did I mention? First one to the flag gets drinks on me!"
It was like releasing a flood. Rope was pulled out in every which way. Grappling hooks were launched. Ladders were called for (which Gwaine allowed since the tallest of them didn't reach more than a third up the side of the tower). Men climbed and men fell. It probably wasn't safe, actually, but Gwaine felt it would work out in the end.
"Aren't you coming, Gwaine?" Lancelot asked, insisting he was still being teased until, presumably, he saw Gwaine making the attempt himself.
"Of course, darling, just wanted to let you get a head start is all!"
