Chapter Three

Keep the Light On

It had been three days. My only indicator being the light shining in through the excuse for a window in the back of my "temporary room" as Lucien liked to call it. Tamlin hadn't visited once, which in my opinion, was a plus. Sadly, it was the only positive thing I could come up with. For the first several hours after I had been shoved into the cell, I bawled. Something inside of me was so close to shattering that if it hadn't been for the reassurance running down the mating bond in huge repetitive waves, I might not have been able to get back up off the floor at all. But after the shaking and the tears subsided, I began to feel a familiar and Cauldron blessed emotion; one that should have never left. Anger.

I was furious. Not mainly at myself; although, I had scolded myself internally time and time again for losing control, but one thing that I did not regret was allowing Tamlin to think he could already share a room with me and that that was okay even though I didn't want to. No, I was livid with The Asshole himself. The reasons were obvious and every time I thought about even one of them, it had me pacing back and forth in the cell like a prowling cat.

I was even more hurt than I thought I could possibly be at the betrayal in the lack of Lucien's actions. Yes, he will protest, he even stood in the way for a moment; but he LET Tamlin get past him. He LET him grab hold of me. He allowed that monster to ….

I touched my jaw instantly, feeling the bruise that lined the entire bottom of my right cheek. Every time I thought about it, every time it throbbed, I would get a painful flutter of helplessness and sickening disgust in my heart. Disgust at myself for feeling shame... for wanting to hide it. The first few times a guard would come down to give me a meal, I turned away and waited until they left. Not because I didn't want to see them but because I didn't want them to see me... I didn't have a mirror in this room, only a small cot in the corner with well-worn blankets and a stained pillow. Along with a sink and an embarrassingly out-in-the-open toilet shoved in the opposite back corner; but I knew the bruise was bad. I was sure it looked like someone put a huge blossoming splotch of ink just beneath my skin that slowly spread outward.

After clenching my teeth together and squeezing my eyes shut as the guard left on the beginning of the second day alone in this shithole, my anger grew even further. This isn't something I should be ashamed of. This is something HE should be ashamed of. Let the entire damned Spring Court see what their 'ever-loving, gentle' High Lord did to the woman he so desperately claims to love. So, the next time I heard the guard clopping down the stairs I stood straight and tall, chin held high and I held eye contact with him whenever he glanced my way as he took my previous plate and cutlery, replacing it with a new one.

I couldn't help but smirk when I saw his eyes involuntarily widen, even going to far as to flinch a little and quickly look away upon the sight of my face. He knew what happened. He was one of the ones who dragged me down here upon Tamlin's orders. His face seemed somewhat familiar but for the life of me I could not remember his name. It seemed that my mind attempted to smear away every memory of this place so well, that only a few names jumped to mind when I tried to remember the staff I once knew so well here. I remember Alis; she saved me. The only one in this Cauldron-saken place who cared enough to step in. I remember Ianthe. The conniving, malicious little bitch with obvious hidden plans. What she tried to do to Rhys so long ago still made a snarl escape my throat with a hot fury. I couldn't imagine what kind of hell she might have put Lucien through while I had been gone... maybe she gave up on him... hopefully.

I actually found it just as hard to think about Lucien as it was Tamlin. But instead of such a strong hatred for Lucien, it was a mix of different emotions. Pity, for what he has gone through for so long. Regret, because I feel like our friendship was worth so much before he... I sighed and leaned my back against the nearest wall, sliding down to the floor with a helpless thunk.

I needed a bath. A long, warm, scented bath that I could soak in for an hour with my eyes closed, letting the dirt on my body go down the drain along with the stress that had been building in me upon my arrival. But the guard never mentioned getting clean so I didn't ask. This was a punishment and I now knew exactly where I stood with Tamlin. I was a prisoner right before I was taken away from here, but now it isn't so well masked this time. Somehow, while I had been gone, whether through Ianthe or the King of Hybern whispering in his ear, he planned this part out too. He knew once he got me, that there was at least a good chance I wasn't going to be the meek little human girl he once knew. Not even the pathetic fae woman who graced his bedsheets before she was taken away by an evil High Lord of the Night Court.

The question was this: What exactly did Tamlin have planned for me, other than renting out my powers to the King? He obviously didn't like that part; even I could see it in his eyes and facial expressions as soon as the King had spoken the words out loud that I was now a pawn and it was a part of the deal in which they made that if Tamlin wanted me back, he had to give them something in return. Me. A weapon. Fuck that.

I gritted my teeth and put my face in my hands, my tangled, dirty hair falling down to cover my face as I tried to keep myself sane. But before I had the chance to even take a deep calming breath, the door to the basement opened up and someone was walking down the stairs. I knew immediately upon the timing and the sound of softer stepping footwear that it wasn't the guard. I stood up and walked to the center of the room, well enough away from the bars to keep out of arms reach. I knew that if it was Tamlin and he wanted into the cell, stepping away from the bars would do nothing. But still, it felt like a barrier for a moment. My heartbeat quickened and my adrenaline spiked, trying to ready myself for the worst but as soon as I saw that flash of red hair resting on a leather clad chest, my muscles loosened immediately.

"What the hell do you want? Here to let me know that it's all my fault I am down here? Or maybe you are playing messenger boy for your master." I couldn't help but feel a flash of rage when I saw his solemn features. A few moments ago I was beginning to feel a little sorry for him but now upon seeing him, my fangs were already baring at him in caution.

He stopped right in front of the cell, facing me full on with his arms crossed but I could tell by the muscle tightening in his jaw and the flex of his fists, he didn't want to be down here looking at me. I saw his eyes immediately wander to my cheek and suddenly his shoulders drooped; the facade suddenly dropping like shattered glass. "I'm here to inform you that this evening you will be taken up to bathe, and then you will be joining us for dinner."

I took a sharp intake of breath, but before I could even let out my first word, he held his hand up. "Depending on your actions and choice of words, it will be decided if you seem capable enough to have your old room back or if you will be spending more time here." I glared and crossed my arms, reflecting his stance. I knew to choose my words wisely but I allowed myself a little more freedom as this was Lucien I was talking to, not Tamlin and I had a strong feeling that Lucien wouldn't repeat my exact words. Even if he did, I am sure it wouldn't change what was planned out for me for this evening.

"Why dinner." It wasn't even a question, it was a demand. And I couldn't help but feel a little bit proud to keep the shaking out of my voice, trying to sound like the High Lady I was.

Lucien cocked an eyebrow at me, pursing his lips before shaking his head and already beginning to turn away. As soon as he started to turn I was pressed against the bars, a sudden panic in me taking full force out of nowhere. "Lucien, wait."

He paused, not turning around, but waiting tersely.

"Please... at least..." My lower lip began to tremble as realization began to go through me in waves that within a few hours I was going to be sitting at that damned table as I had so many times, but this time it was with a stone-hearted monster. After a pause, I continued. "Lucien... what is he planning? Why is he.. am I ..." I couldn't finish. I didn't know so many questions would jumble together on my tongue. I growled out a mumbled "never mind" before letting my hands drop from the bars uselessly at my sides. I shouldn't be asking him these things. He wasn't the friend I thought he was. I knew I was going to be alone in this.

After a long moment of silence, I heard a gruff sigh before Lucien turned around, facing me once more. "If you make it through dinner... don't turn your light off."

My head shot up, obvious confusion furrowing on my brow.

He turned away again, with a wave of his arm. "Keep the light in your room on, Feyre. As long as that light is on, I will know he won't be in your room. But if it goes off, I will interfere."

The air in my throat caught. He thought Tamlin would try to pounce that quickly? "Every night?" Confusion was still blasting through me, along with something else that almost felt like gratitude. "Wait... how will you know the light is on or off?"

He stopped at the stairs, turning one last time. "Every night." Then a wink and a small smile of reassurance flicked across his features, shocking me even further. "Not telling."

With that, he was up the stairs and gone, leaving me with nothing but apprehension for what was to come. I needed to begin to mentally prepare for what would probably be the absolute WORST dinner of my life.