The winter storm on my brother's heart

A / N: Okay here's the next chapter and I hope you will enjoy it. I didn't feel so happy with the last chapter, because it was pretty rushed, so I made a little difference in the story. I hope you do not mind. And I wrote the chapter before I saw the "Target: April O'Neil '(I've been late with the episodes lately) and I wanted to make some changes., I hope you do not mind me and the changes I make now and then, and that you will like the story from this point., I wanted the brothers to take up more space and express their thoughts on the situation. So with that said, read the latest chapter of my new story and read.

Chapter 3, Well now they know!


(Donnie's P.O.V)

I abruptly woke up and let out a small cry. I looked around me and found myself in my room and in my bed. I looked down at my hands as I tried to catch my breath. I still had my gloves and my brothers still had no idea what had happened to me. Everything was okay, for now at least. It had only been a nightmare, a realistic one, but still a nightmare. It was not the first one. I've had nightmares ever since day one, when I realized that I had new powers, which could be dangerous for the people around me. I sighed and put my hand on my chest and tried to calm myself and stop panting. I heard footsteps outside my door, and after a few seconds, Leo opened the door to my room and looked in. He saw me, and he, beign the caring and protective brother and leader he was, immediately noticed that something was wrong.

"Donnie, are you okay? I heard a shout, and it came from your room. Is everything okay?" I looked at my oldest brother. I wanted to tell him the truth, how I longed to tell him and the others what was wrong with me. In the last weeks, I have lived through torture and now that April had forgiven us and came back, I wanted to tell her too. But I knew I couldn't. I just couldn't! I knew they would never understand, and I was also afraid of being pushed away from them and kicked out. With my new powers that grew stronger and stronger every day, I wasn't safe enough to around. I had noticed that when I was calm and collected that it was easier to control the powers, and harder when I was angry, sad or scared or other strong emotions, it was more difficult. I had to be strong and put up with the cold and stern new persona. Even if it meant I had to push the other away from me and slam the door in their faces, and I live alone in my lab for the most of my life. I had to keep them safe, no matter what!

"Y-yes Leo. I'm f-fine., It was just a ni-nightmare. I'm okay. Y-you can go back t-to bed." I made myself stutter and sound shaken up so that he would think I was still shaken up from a bad dream. I knew I wasn't the best actor or liar, but because I was still a little afraid after thinking about hurting my family and April, I made a pretty convincing show. But I was not out of the mousetrap yet. Leo was after all a very protective brother and would do anything to protect us from harm. He walked into my room and closed the door. He sat down on my bed and looked me in the eyes. Or at least he tried to, but I looked away and tried to look tired so Leo would take the hint and leave. But he just stretched out his hand and placed it under my chin and made me look into his eyes. His calm ocean blue eyes met mine and I wanted to avoid his gaze, but could not.

"Donnie, I want you to be honest. I can tell that you are shaken, by a nightmare or not, but I know that something else is wrong. You have acted very strangely lately. You close the door and isolate yourself in your lab or your room and push us away and April. April!We are worried about you. April is hurt and thinks your still mad at her from what she said a few weeks ago, we want to help you, but you're not letting us. At first we thought it was because you were hurt by April's words, but now we are lost. Donnie, please, tell me what's wrong." He leaned out his other hand and tried to caress my cheek, but this time I jerked away from his touch and his hands.

"There is nothing wrong Leo, I'm just stressed... that's all. It's so much going on now. So many mutants, and I'm still working so hard on that retro mutagen. And I'm still trying to recover from the events with Spi-I mean Slash." That last reason was not a complete lie. A few days ago my arm had healed and I could now train with my brothers without it hurting too much, not that I showed up at training much lately. Leo still didn't look convinced, but put on a smile and patted my shoulder, before he walked out of my room.

"Good night bro." I smiled at him and couldn't help but look into his eyes.

"Good night, Leo." I laid back down and tried to fall asleep again, but I couldn't. After a while, I took a look at the alarm clock on my nightstand. 05:47 it read. It was still quite early but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't sleep. So I left my bedroom and went to my lab. Where I could continue to work on a cure on how to fix this, before I could begin the process of retro mutagen again. It wouldn't do anyone any good if I couldn't even touch anything without my gloves. I looked down at my hands, they used to create amazing machines and scientific wonders. And now created the ice and snow and pulled me away from my family and the girl of my dreams. Thanks so much fate or life or whatever it was that decided this. You've pretty much ruined my life.


(Leo's P.O.V)

It had been a strange couple of weeks and I began to think that it was severe than we realized. But it was that we didn't even have a clue what was wrong with our brother. Donnie had started acting strange and now we were both worried and scared of what was happening.

"And he still denied everything. I even brought up April and he just shrugged it off and acted like he did not know what I was talking about." I finished the story from last night to my brothers and father. We all sat in the living room and talked about our brother.

"Look, I don't care what he says, I don't believe it one bit! Han begins to act as some kind of "I'm-better-than-you-so-I-can't-be-around-you-anymore -so-stay-away." Raph sounded more worried than angry, and it was quite unusual for him. Mikey looked at me with wide eyes and trembling lips. He looked like a little lost puppy.

"You don't think he's in any kind of danger, right?" I looked at Raph, who shrugged hopelessly and then looked at Splinter. He also looked hopelessly at me and stroked his beard.

"Donatello's never been one to hide anything that could be dangerous from our family. He would tell me anything that would threaten this family. I am sure that something else is wrong." Raph looked at Master Splinter, then he sighed and looked down at his lap. He shook his head in despair.

"I'm used to Donnie acting like a know-it-all, but now he treats us like dirt and hides from us either in his lab or in his room, most of the at least. That's something I would do, not Donnie, he is different. He is not the kind that would lock himself away from us because he don't want to be around us anymore and not even April can get him out of his shell. And he loves April!, I just don't get it." I sighed. Raph made a good point. It wasn't like Donnie at all. It had almost been a month and his attitude had not changed one bit.

"Hey guys!" April went into the den with her bag over her shoulder and laptop under her arm. We looked at her and greeted her. Mikey waved a little, Raph nodded to her and Splinter made a little bow in her direction. I looked at her and smiled.

"Hey April. How are you doing." She smiled at us and nodded in a way to say "I'm good." and then looked at us, then back to the lab. She sighed and looked at me with a sadder look.

"He's still blocking us out, right?" I nodded and sighed again. I looked down in my lap and just shook my head with my eyes closed.

"We just don't know what to do. He is barely even talking to us anymore. And around four or five in the morning he woke me up and when I asked him about it, he claimed that he had a nightmare. But I know it was something else that had frightened him. And even when I brought these things up, he denied it. All of us agree that something is wrong but can't figure out what." April sighed, then smiled a little.

"Maybe I can get him to tell us. He always tells me everything when I ask. Maybe it'll work this time too." We looked a little hesitant, but thought it would be worth a try. Mikey walked up to Donnie lab, fiddled a little with his hand like he was nervous before he took a breath and knocked gently on the door. The door didn't open, but Donnie did answer through the door.

"What is it?" He even sounded different nowadays. He sounded so deadpanned and so stern that it made me look like... Like Mikey. It was a little scary. Mikey swallowed and put on a nervous smile.

"Heh, hey dude. April wanted to talk to you about something." Donnie groaned, but opened up for the first time in forever and Donnie came out and looked tired and a little annoyed. None of us, not even Raph and Splinter said a word. April looked at Donnie and tried to smile at him. He had a face that showed no emotion or feeling at all. As of he wore a mask with a stern face.

"So ... Donnie? These guys say that you have acted a little strange lately. And well, I thought that maybe..." She did not finish the sentence the reason Donnie put up his hand up in a gesture to get her to stop talking.

"I know what you are going to say, and it looks like I have to repeat myself. Again. Nothing is wrong with me. I'm just a little stressed out and tired from working so much on the retro mutagen and fighting crazy mutants and Karai's ninja robots recently, that is all. There is no reason to worry or be anxious." Raph shook his head in frustration, holding both hands on both sides of the head as his elbows rested on his knees. And at Donnie's last sentence he got up and looked at him in a mix anger and anxiety, but mostly anger.

"Oh, come on! You say that every time we ask what happens to you, and I don't know about the others but I'm tired of hearing it every day, can't you just tell us what's up already!" Donnie snapped his head at Raph direction and began to see a little anger. But he took a deep breath through his nose and just looked blankly at him with half-closed eyes.

"Look guys, just because we happen to be a family doesn't mean you have the right to know everything about me! Even if something was wrong with me (which it isn't) who is to say that you must know about it, have you ever heard of something called privacy?" Raph looked a little dumbfounded, but he wiped it away and looked angry again.

"What? Is it a crime to take care of your brother when he's acting funny, can you go to jail for it, or maybe even the death penalty?, I don't get it, what are you trying to hide from us?" Donnie kept a straight face and didn't even flinch when Raph started screaming. Master Splinter placed his hand on the shoulder Donnie and he did flinch a little but put the mask back on.

"Donatello, my son. There's no shame in sharing your problems with those you trust. You know that you can trust us with anything." Donnie muttered something to himself, and it was hard to catch what he said, but it sounded like "Not something like this." So he was hiding something after all. He just wouldn't tell us what.


(Donnie's P.O.V)

All kinds of emotions started to boil up in me. Anger, panic, despair and fear. And I knew what would happen if I let them out. Even the gloves couldn't keep the powers inside of me forever, and the ice would eventually explode all over the lair, although they were on, and it would be an even bigger disaster if they were off. I had to keep the mask on, or it could mean disaster. And now my brothers were trying to get an answer from me, the answer I couldn't give them because I had to protect them. And the more they pushed me, the harder it became to try to keep control of my emotions. It looked like my last nightmare was coming true.

"Please Don, we just want to help you." Mikey said and looked at me with his puppy eyes, but I just turned away from him. I knew he hated it when I or the others ignored him, but I had no other choice. He jerked forward and grasped my hand, but I jerked my hand away and he got a hold of the fingers on my glove, and as he brought back his arm, he pulled of my glove. In two seconds, I didn't get what happened, but when I did it I had to fight my panic. I reached for Mikey's hand and tried to yank my glove back, but he kept the glove away from my grip.

"M-mikey, c-come on, give me back my glove!" But he threw it away to Raph, and when I tried to get it back from him, he threw it to Leo and when I tried again he threw to April and it went for a little while until it came back to Mikey, who put it in his belt.

"Look Donnie, you can have it back when you tell us what the heck is going on, why are you acting like this?" The anger was flushed out of my body, but now fear and panic had replaced it. But I knew I had spare-gloves in my lab. I sighed and dropped my head forward. I didn't like what I had to do, but I did it anyway.

"Then keep it! I have more anyway." And with that I walked passed them and towards my lab. Raph shook his head in disbelief and with a frown on his face. Then he got angry too. He snatched the glove from Mikey, then threw it aside and started to yell after me.

"What did we ever do to you?!" I didn't see his face, but I knew he was at his breaking point and could start to do something really bad soon.

"Please Raph, you'll only make it worse." I whispered to myself and clutched the sides of my head and tried to calm down my breathing. But Raph had decided to push it even further.

"We only try to help but you slam doors in our faces and shut the world out! Why are doing so? What are you so scared of?!" Something in me was wrong, I felt some kind of energy run through my veins and it was getting harder and harder to push away my emotions. I felt a fear and anger boil up and it was starting to boil over, and Raph was still pushing it. And before I could remind myself of my dream and could happen, I snapped and I let my emotions free, regardless of the consequences it would have.

"Shut up Raph! You guys have never, ever tried to listen to a word I have said and now you all of a sudden do?!" And then it started to happen, but at the moment I didn't really pay attention, cause now I was crazy mad! I didn't pay attention to the ice that started to crawl across the walls and the floor. "All of the things that have happened before, was nothing much! Just one of my mistakes or something like that, not much to care about! And now you do care, because I act weird?!" I started to walk towards my older brother and Raph had started to back away from me and my anger tantrum. The rest of my family seemed to have noticed the ice in the lair and tried to back away from it.

"Donnie... Maybe you should calm down a bit?" Leo tried to reason with me, but his words wasn't making it through to my brain, I was to angry and upset to listen to anyone elses words right now.

"I always stick up for you when you have problems, try to do the same for me for once! But oh no, it's not worth the effort, is it?! When I have problems I tell my feelings to a frozen jar full of goo in my lab or a robot, that's my support!" I couldn't help my anger or the ice that had covered almost all of the walls in the lair and parts of the floor in the lair. I couldn't hold back the emotions that had been built up in me for so long, and at the same time it felt good to just let it all out. But the rest of my family seemed a little scared and was trying to calm me down.

"Donnie, try to calm down a little..." April tried and also tried to look me in the eyes.

"Donnie, bro. There's no need to be so angry." Mikey begged with his puppy eyes.

"Donatello, please. Calm your temper my son..." Master Splinter started to say, but his words actually came through to me, and for some reason they made me even angrier.

"My temper!? I haven't the slightest idea to calm my temper. I always try to keep levelheaded and try to stay calm, and for the last weeks I have done nothing else but keep my feelings inside and swallow them down, and I'm not gonna keep doing that!But it's not like you would care, right? It's just another thing that is my fault or my error that I have to correct! You never have before, so don't you guys try to fool or convince me now, that you actually care about me!" I screamed and put my foot down as hard as I could. And then it happened! A big snow storm full of snow and cold air started to blow all over the lair. First then did I start to realize what happened and took it all in with fear anger panic, which made the storm blow even little harder.

"What? NO!" It was the only thing I could say at the moment and my brothers, father and April had to get down to the floor in an attempt not to fall down from the wind or slip on the ice on the floor. But it didn't bother me, I just stood there and just covered my eyes from the snowflakes with my arms. The storm only lasted for a minute and then it died down, since my temper had started to cool down. My family started to move on the floor and shook off the snow of themselves and looked around the lair, which was now covered in snow and ice. I just stood there and panted, and at first I didn't get what I had done, but the after it had sunk in and I realised what I had done and said and my expression went from angry to terrified as I panted from my outburst, and then looked down at my hands.

"Oh, no. Not now..." I only whispered the words, since I couldn't say them out loud. The others looked at me with disbelief and a little fright. Master Splinter raised from the floor, and the rest off snow that covered him fell to the ground, and walked in my direction.

"Donatello..." I saw that he was approaching and I backed away from him and held my hands in front of myself. 'This is the nightmare all over again.' The thought ran through my head pretty fast, but right now I focused on the moment at hand. Protect family, nothing else matters right now.

"Please Sensei, stay away from me! I'm not safe for you or anyone!" As I backed away from my father I bumped into the wall of the other side of the lair and saw I had ended up and the pond in the lair (which was now frozen, because of my tantrum) and took a glance down at my reflection in the ice, and my blood went cold and my stomach clenched. My eyes had shifted from brown to icy blue and they were so pale I almost didn't see the color.

My panic raised As I backed away from my father and shot a look at my hand and hid it in my armpit and then I looked at my brothers and April. Mikey hid himself behind Raph and April took a small step backwards. But Leo and Master Splinter stood their ground. All of them stared at me and I looked at all of their reactions. All of them was shocked and even showed a little hint of fear. All except Leo and Master Splinter, who showed a little hint of compassion, and tried to cover up their fear and shock.

"Donnie..." Leo said and stepped up to me and tried to touch my cheek, but I jerked away and held up my hands.

"Don't! Don't touch me!" I accidentally threw away a ball of ice at Leo's head, but thanks to his ninja reflexes he ducked away from it before it hit him in the head, and it hit the wall instead. I gasped in fear and backed again from him. Then I took off and pushed past him and Splinter and ran past the others and ran towards the exit. I'm not sure I was even thinking right there and then, I just ran. I just jumped over the turnstiles and ran through the sewers and ignored the yells behind me. After a while I climbed up to the streets, then up to the roofs and ran down to the coast. But I left tracks, ice was coming from my feet and made it easy for my brothers and April to follow me. And I know they did, I heard their screams behind me.

"Donnie!"

"Please, wait up!"

"Come back, we just want to talk!" I came to the coast and ran toward the water, until I realized I had no idea what I was doing here. Where was I supposed to go now? And then I heard the water making a weird sound at my feet, I looked down and saw the water froze at me feet. But before I could run I heard the others, they had caught up with me! Damn it!

"Donnie, Wait!" Leo grasped at my wrist, but I jerked it away before he could get a good grip on me. I turned around and saw them only a few feet away and Leo was closer to me than I liked.

"Please guys I'm dangerous." Leo shook his head reached out for me. He barely touched my cheek before I jerked away in fear. After me almost hitting him in the head with ice, I wasn't taking any chances with my new 'powers' or myself.

"Please Leo, stay away from me, I'm not safe for you or anyone else!" Leo shook his head and tried to touch me again, but I just took a step back from him.

"You are our brother, we're not afraid of you. You have nothing to be afraid of." I backed away from him and my family. I shook my head and stayed a few steps away from them.

"No, but you should be, I can't control this... this curse! Did you see what I just did to the lair, just because I was scared and angry? What if it had been my intention to do that? To actually fight you?, I can hurt you! I don't want that to happen, I've already been close to kill you, why do you think I was so distant from you?! I'll leave now, so you will be safe. That's all that matters to me right now "I turned around, but someone grabbed my shoulder and left arm and stopped me from running away. Then I heard Raph voice behind me.

"We're not going to lose you again Donnie, there have already been one time too many, there has to be a way to fix this! You don't have to be in this mess alone." Raph turned me around and saw me in my now blue/white eyes and held me in his strong grip. April and Mikey walked up to us and Mikey looked like he was about to cry.

"Donnie, we can fix this, together. We can find a way to fix this, but you have to let us in and don't shut the door again." April said quietly, but I heard the fear and worry in her voice. Mikey nodded furiously and wiped the tears away.

"Yes, please, Donnie. Don't leave us again..." And this time I met his puppy eyes. It broke my heart to see my brother like this, then I felt Leo's hand on my shoulder and rubbed it in a comforting gesture.

"Donnie, don't push us away again. It won't solve anything. Allow us to help you in any way we can." I looked at my brothers and friend and for a moment I thought over their words, then pushed them away and before anyone could talk again, I shook all the hands and arms off me and met their eyes.

"And then what? What are you gonna do about it? Every time I get angry, sad, scared or whatever it gets too difficult to control the curse! And these emotions are all over me all the time nowadays. Next time it will be stronger and I could hurt someone! I can't afford that to happen again. I, I'm sorry guys." And with that I ran away. As I ran out on the ocean and away from my home, the water froze under my feet, making a way for me to run on. I heard the other voices behind me and if I was right they were pretty close behind me, trying to run after me no doubt.

"Donnie, wait!" It was Mikey. He was always the most adorable with his big eyes and love for us, he would not go back so easily. I heard my older brother's voice behind me, but I did not stop, everything from before was all in the past now. From now on, I looked for me, and only me. If that's what it takes to keep them safe. It was the only thing of importance right now.


A / N: Okay, how's that for a cliffhanger? Does this count as a cliffhanger? I'm getting tired of writing about how Donnie always flees from the lair, but it is necessary in this. And when I'm done with this, I will get a hold of myself. And before you leave the story read this! First, I know it's quite similar to my last chapter, but I thought about how I wrote it, and I think it went pretty rushed, and I still think that it is, but I want to get the story going, so I made the last chapter a nightmare that Donnie had and then made it similar to this chapter so that it would be his nightmare had come true. I also hope that the tantrum thing worked out well for you and how it turned out and everything. And by this record, I have never written a chapter this long before! So, hurray for me! And others, please keep reading this even if I made it like this, it'll be better (I hope at least you think) and read and enjoy. Bye bye and good night.