Stage 3: Assimilation
The stage where one applies what they've found out about their love interest to their own personality traits and ways of living, to determine if a relationship would be worthwhile and lasting.
The few weeks leading up to Christmas went by in a flash, probably because Harry was so busy. As he watched the students who were going home for the holidays leave, and all the lights and decorations get put up around the castle, he was busy mentally preparing to confess his feelings to Snape.
It had to happen – Harry knew this. He had to do it, because if he didn't he'd spend the rest of his life wondering what could have been. He was nervous… who wouldn't be? But these emotions had to get out in the open eventually.
Despite his nerves, Harry grinned as his eyes opened on Christmas morning. He didn't care about the presents, the decorations, or the feast that was to be had though. What he was grinning about was his plans for the day; just the thought of his love for Snape possibly being reciprocated made him smile. Yes, these emotions had to get out in the open eventually. And today was the day.
As far as Harry was concerned, this could only go one of two ways: Snape would turn out to return his feelings and they would be together by the day's end, or by the same time he would be dead by the Potion Master's hand. The latter sounded much more realistic to Harry but he had to take his chances.
He reached out for his glasses and fumbled to get them on. As he got dressed and made his way to the Great Hall for breakfast, he thought about what was serving as his present to Snape today... his heart, essentially. It wasn't material, but then again he had learned that Snape wasn't a material guy, and neither was he. Some of Harry's nervousness went away when he realized this was another moral they shared, and another reason he felt they were compatible.
Yes, he and Snape were a match made in heaven, and there was no turning back now.
When Harry entered the Great Hall, it was truly a sight. Dry enchanted snow was falling all around, there were twelve towering Christmas trees with real fairies flying all around them, and even festoons of holly and mistletoe decorated the place. The sound of Christmas carols flowed into the room, sung by the many suits of armor around Hogwarts that had been charmed to do so.
Ron and Hermione greeted him from the Gryffindor table, and they both seemed happy that it was Christmas too, but likely for more superficial reasons than Harry was. Indeed everyone in the Great Hall seemed to be in a very light mood today, which was a nice change of pace.
The trio didn't eat much because they were busy chatting and laughing, discussing what they were going to do for the rest of the day. As it turned out, they decided to go the common room after breakfast to exchange presents.
None of the presents happened to be wrapped. Ron gave both Harry and Hermione boxes of chocolate, which he claimed were laced with a potion that could cure any poison.
Hermione then showed Ron over to something by the couch that was covered with blankets. She pulled them off and it was a cage – with a new pet rat inside. Ron was ecstatic; he immediately reached into the cage to pick it up.
After Ron got acquainted with his new friend, Harry reached into his pocket, gesturing Hermione over. He handed her something round – he had made a new S.P.E.W. badge with an updated design for her.
Harry and Hermione were in on the present for Ron together, so Harry gave him some basic supplies to start him off – the most important one being special food designed to raise the rat's intelligence.
Hermione's gift to Harry was the most unique of them all. She handed him a flower – purple, with seven petals with pointed tips.
"It's a special flower Fred and George helped me invent. When you pluck a petal off, the petal always finds its way to the person you love most," she explained to him.
"Wow Hermione," Harry breathed to himself more than her. He knew this present would come in handy somehow.
…
The trio spent most of the day outside. They participated in a few snowball fights, and went to visit Hagrid in his hut afterwards, being treated to cups of hot chocolate. It was the best treat after being in the cold for so long bar none.
All the while, Harry was awaiting his chance to break away and do what he had to do. It was difficult to keep his excitement and anxiety from showing the whole time, but he managed to contain himself through it all.
Come time for the dinner feast, the food was great – roast beef, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce – but the end of the meal was when something happened that made Harry smile: he locked gazes with Snape from across the room. Something felt different from every other time they've done this, and Harry remembered the first time they did, in first year. Snape's eyes were filled with hatred then; this time something about the eye contact made Harry feel warm inside. It was probably all in his head.
It reminded Harry of what he had learned from Dumbledore, about Snape's secret soft side. He was convinced that's what he was seeing right now. It made him happy, knowing Snape had a side to him that no one else really sees. Harry thought about the experience he himself had with people expecting him to act a certain way – which made him feel even closer to Snape. With all of these similarities, how did he and Snape not get along in the past? Harry was sure they could now, if they only tried.
When he left the feast, Harry knew his time was running out. It was at that moment he knew how to go about his task. He went up to the dormitories and allowed himself to doze off… whether the outcome of his conversation with Snape was very good or very bad, he doubted he would get any sleep afterwards, so he may as well sleep now. Besides, late at night was the only time he'd be able to do this without anyone else eavesdropping. If Snape was asleep – well, he would just have to be woken up, wouldn't he?
When Harry awoke around 11:00, his heart was pounding. He grabbed the Marauder's Map from his bag, plucked a petal off the flower he had placed by his pillow and headed out. It was time to see exactly how these petals worked – he was intrigued.
From the Marauder's Map, Harry determined that Snape was in the Great Hall. As he made his way there, his knees felt weak, and his head was swimming; he just hoped he could shake off the feeling in time. What came next was important.
As he made the final step into the room, his eyes had long ago adjusted to the darkness and he could see where Snape stood some twenty feet away. His back was to Harry, gazing up at the enchanted ceiling now peppered with stars.
Harry took a deep breath and said, "Doing some stargazing Professor Snape?"
Snape turned around sharply, startled. While he was annoyed that Harry seemed to always be where he wasn't supposed to, he also couldn't help but admire his stealth – the stealth that Snape also possessed as a double agent. He added this to his mental list of reasons he thought he and Harry were meant to be together but quickly pushed these thoughts to the recesses of his mind.
"Potter? Aren't you late for being an imperious brat somewhere else?"
The words stung, but Harry wasn't going to be deterred; his voice was shaky though. "I- I came here looking for you. I just wanted you to know that despite our history, I don't hate you. And… Merry Christmas."
With that Harry opened up his fist which had been clenched so tight his knuckles were white, and as though guided by a magical wind, the flower petal flew the distance over to Snape and landed in the palm of his hand. Snape looked down at it, then back at Harry, who gradually closed the distance between them until they were nearly face-to-face. The professor seemed to be calculating something with those inscrutable black eyes until his mouth finally opened to form words: "What's this all about?"
Harry mustered all of his Gryffindor courage; overwhelmed, he came out with it quickly, all at once, like ripping off a Band-Aid. "It's about the fact that I'm in love with you."
Harry immediately put a hand on his wand following these words, just in case he needed a shield charm in a hurry. Silence, as if Snape hadn't believed him and was still waiting for his real answer. Harry started backing up slowly to be ready to flee if need be.
But before he knew what was happening, Snape had both his wrists in a vice like grip, preventing him from going any further. The flower petal being held fell to the floor as a result. "I have feelings for you as well Potter. I don't know why, but I do."
Harry had no time to react before he was pulled into a rough yet soulful kiss, bordering on emotional. He couldn't describe the relief he felt at that moment – the tension he had been feeling for the last few weeks just melted away. Sinking to the floor together, Snape rolled over so that his body pinned Harry firmly but not painfully to the floor. Snape's tongue snaked its way into Harry's mouth; the latter wasn't saying he liked the feeling at first, but he wasn't saying he didn't like it either.
When Snape bit down on the side of Harry's neck – hard enough that he was sure to have a hickey come morning – Harry reluctantly pushed him off, sensing that things were about to go too far. It was much too risky here anyway, they could get caught.
"Believe me, I want this, but… I just want to take things slow."
Snape pulled Harry close. "I understand. But… are you really sure you want to explore this? Whatever this is or could be?"
Harry grinned and nodded, clinging to the older man. It sounded like a great idea.
Next stage: honesty, where the couple shows each other their true selves...
And YAY! The site is back up! Sorry for the wait guys, technical issues prevented me from posting it! This chapter was a long time coming. First internet issues then a stupid 503 service unavailable error! *desk flip*
I made up the flower thing, I hope it made as much sense on the page as it did in my head? Anyways, 'till next time!
~Lottie Lyric
