A/N: This chapter is based during the last scene with Alex and Jo in 9x23. Hope you like it!
Disclaimer - I do not own Grey's Anatomy. All rights go to ABC and Shonda Rhimes.
To say that it'd just been one of those days was an understatement. Jo couldn't remember a lower time in her life, a time where she'd been such a freaking mess. She was honestly coming undone – she had no idea what to do with her life anymore. And worst of all? It was her fault. It was all her fault, and she knew it. Before, she'd always try to blame these kinds of things on something, anything, else – fate, destiny, karma – but not this time. This time, it was all her. She scowled as the thunder roared endlessly outside the house. The lights flickered once, twice, and then shut off completely. Perfect. Just freaking perfect. Jo sighed and gathered candles and a match (enduring a fair amount of difficulty through the darkness). She lit candle after candle slowly and meticulously. It was almost therapeutic. For a minute there, all that existed was her and the candles, and nothing else in the world even mattered. All that mattered was that every single one of these candles had to be lit, and, if they were, everything would turn out just fine.
"What the hell happened?" Alex demanded, stomping inside.
"The power went out a half-hour ago, so I – " Jo started.
"No, you," he pleaded. "What were you thinking? Peckwell could've died."
She faltered. "Is he – "
"No, he's fine," he relented, walking forward. "And you're lucky he's not pressing charges, but you are an idiot. You get that you could've gone to jail, right? You say you try so hard to change, to become this new person, but then you do this? You don't want to be a low-life anymore? You gotta grow up and stop acting like one."
"No, you grow up!" she retorted, pushing him backwards. He was too close, far too close for her to even manage a thought. God, she couldn't breathe with him like that. "Not everyone's like you, Alex." She didn't know why she was doing this, but he always did this to her – he always pushed her to her breaking point and further, and she never felt more alive then when she could see that point miles behind her. "People are horrible, and the last time someone grabbed me like Jason did, I – " And there he went again, making her say things she had never admitted to before. But he wouldn't this time, now that he wasn't nearly as close, and Jo had regained some composure. She stopped herself. Alex took another step towards her, and she nearly lost control. But she didn't. God, how did she ever keep any control around him? "I promised no one would ever do that again. So I am sorry, but not everyone's like you. Not everyone's good." Alex refused to look her in the eye, and she knew she had gone too far. She always went too far. "And now you think I'm horrible, too."
He stared at her for a second and shook his head lightly. "No. No, if you hadn't gotten to him first, I promise I probably would've killed the guy." His voice was soft, so pure and honest. Jo couldn't remember the last time anyone had been so gentle with her, almost as if she might break any second.
Jo swallowed. "Why? Why would you do that for me?" But she knew the answer.
"Shut up," Alex said. "Why wouldn't I?"
The pain in her stomach was unbearable. It was like a weight – like an anchor attached somewhere inside her, pulling her inevitably closer to the ground. Her throat was tense, and she couldn't breathe even if she wanted to. Her head spun in circle after circle, but her gaze was steady as she simply stood there.
Not only did she love Alex, but she was in love with him. She wanted him to bend down on one knee and propose. She wanted him to smile at her as she walked down the aisle. She wanted him to come to all their kids' recitals and concerts and give them small bouquets of flowers and tell them what a great job they did. Dear God, she was in love with Alex, and she'd never even realized it.
And he was in love with her, too, another thing she'd just realized. But, goddamn it, it'd been so freaking obvious looking back on it – how had she not caught on?
But that didn't matter now. All that mattered was that Alex Karev was only feet away from her in the candle-lit darkness, and all she wanted to do was kiss him.
And judging by that look in his eyes, the feeling was mutual.
The air was heavy, filled with a year's worth of unspoken words. Jo felt as if she were choking on it, as if it'd reached down her throat and cut off her vocal chords so that she couldn't speak. All she could do was stand there and look into his eyes. She couldn't help but wonder if her own looked so desperate, so longing to be loved and needed. She gulped. They did. Oh, they definitely did.
She subconsciously tightened her grip around the sweatshirt she was wearing, one of his that she'd found in his bedroom the night before. The smell of Old Spice that lingered on it had been enough to get her through the day, but now that he was so close, it didn't seem anywhere near sufficient. How had she even survived without the constant reminder of Alex, Alex, Alex all day? Jo wrapped the sweatshirt around herself even tighter, digging her nails into her sides. She needed to be engulfed in the scent immediately, needed it to completely overwhelm all her other senses and thoughts and for it just to be him forever.
But she was stubborn, so goddamn stubborn. She would not be the first to move – that'd have to be him. He'd have to do it because there was no way in hell that it would be her. She was too stubborn, or maybe "scared" was the more appropriate word.
But he was stubborn, too. Neither of them would move, and Jo knew that. But maybe, just maybe, he'd suck it up just this once. Maybe he'd kiss her. Her heart beat ridiculously noisily at the thought, and her breathing quickened considerably. The thought of his lips on hers consumed her, and she almost did it. She almost ran up to him and grabbed his arms and kissed him.
If only that freaking tree didn't choose that moment to crash through the window.
In all honesty, Jo didn't have enough time to process it. All she knew is that one minute she was imagining kissing the life out of Alex, and the next there was a tree next to her, and rain pounding on her face. She gasped and sputtered for breath, searching frantically for Alex through the mess of branches. She found him, and they made eye contact. He was okay, Jo told herself. He was okay.
She couldn't help but feel slightly comforted by the fact that the first thing he'd done was look for her, too, and maybe (if she was really, really lucky, which she never seemed to be) he would've kissed her.
Or maybe not.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review, favorite, follow, etc.!
I am COMPLETELY blown away by your reactions! Thank you so much for all the amazing feedback! It really does make my day :)
Also, as you might've been able to tell, I'm going to start writing this story depending on what happens the episode before. Obviously the finale's the next episode so after that I'll be on my own, but yeah (well, that was an eloquent way to end that sentence :P). Thank you, and I'll be back soon! -xoxofandomgirl
