Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, I own nothing you recognize.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added me to their alerts and favorites.
The song in this chapter is Hurt by Christina Aguilera
words in italics is Paul's wolf arguing with him, what his wolf thinks.
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CHAPTER 3
When Paul left the cafeteria he really had no intention of going to the music room to see Stasia but that's where his feet led him or should he say his stupid wolf led him to. When he got to the music room he peeked in and saw she was once again sitting at the piano. She wasn't playing or anything yet she was just sitting there staring at the keys.
"Go talk to her," his wolf urged
"No," Paul told him.
"You need to go talk to her," his wolf urged again.
"No I don't," Paul stubbornly argued. "She's fine on her own." he said.
"Jackass," his wolf cursed.
"Shut up," Paul told his wolf as he heard Stasia start playing the piano and then like last time her beautiful voice filled the room. It once again was filled with sadness.
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Paul was listening to Stasia sing and was so lost in her voice he didn't hear Kim walk up behind him.
"Paul," Kim said. "Paul," she said and touched his arm and he jumped and spun around.
"Damn it Kim," he said.
"Sorry," she smiled. "What are you doing?"
"Anastasia is in there," he said. "Listen to her," he said and Kim stood with Paul as Stasia continued to sing.
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you
"Oh wow," Kim said and Paul turned and saw her wiping a tear that ran down her cheek.
"Kim," Paul said.
"Its obvious she's hurt enough already," Kim told him. "How could you purposely hurt her more," she said sadly and walked away. Paul turned back and saw Stasia had finished and was walking towards the door, she was almost to the door. Paul went to walk in front of the door just as Stasia walked out and they ran into each other. Stasia fell back and hit the floor.
"Ow," she said. "Damn," she said and looked up to see what she had ran into because it felt like a brick wall, but she saw Paul was standing there.
"Paul," she said.
"What?" he asked. "You're the one that ran into me," he snapped and walked away, leaving her on the ground.
"Jerk," Stasia said to herself and she saw Paul turn around and glare at her as if he heard her and she shook her head and stood up and grabbed her bag and walked down the hall.
When Paul walked away his wolf began arguing with him again.
"I don't believe you just left her there," the wolf said.
"She walked into me," Paul silently argued.
"So, you didn't have to leave her there on the ground, you could have at least offered to help her up."
"She doesn't want me, or my help."
"How do you know she doesn't want our help when you've never offered."
"I just know, now shut up and let me get some peace."
"Anastasia is our imprint and she needs our help."
"So."
"You know you want her just as much as I do, you just don't want to be patient."
"And you won't let me fuck other girls," Paul snapped silently at his wolf.
"You don't need other girls just Anastasia," his wolf said smugly.
"Asshole."
"Stubborn Jackass."
Paul walked in his next class and took his seat. A few minutes later he saw Stasia walk in and he glanced over at her as she walked across the room to her seat. He looked over at her as she sat down. Stasia let out a sigh and turned and saw Paul looking at her and quickly turned away from him.
"You could go sit in that empty seat in front of her," his wolf urged.
"Not going to happen." Paul silently told his wolf.
"It would put us closer to her," his wolf said. "You know deep down you want that as much as I do."
"No I don't," Paul argued stubbornly.
"Yeah you do," his wolf argued. "Get up and go over there." his wolf demanded.
Paul let out a frustrated sigh but after a few more seconds he walked over and sat in the seat in front of Stasia. He heard Stasia let out a gasp.
"Talk to her dummy,"
Paul turned around.
"Hello Anastasia," he said.
"H…H…Hi Paul," she stuttered.
"Great job, she's scared of you." his wolf said. "Apologize for making her fall earlier."
"I don't apologize," he said silently.
"You do now,"
"Anastasia, are you ok?" he asked. "You're not hurt from your fall are you?"
"Do you really care?" she asked
"Yes," his wolf howled.
"Not really," Paul said smugly.
"Then why did you ask," she said softly.
"I don't know," he shrugged and she shook her head and looked down away from him.
"Do something, look how sad she is," his wolf said.
"Anastasia," he said. "I should have at least helped you up."
"Whatever," she said but wouldn't look up to meet his eyes. Paul let out a sigh and turned around to get ready for class.
After school Stasia made her way home alone. She would go home do her homework, eat dinner with her parents and then go to bed soon after and start the whole day over again tomorrow. Stasia thought things were supposed to get easier as time went by but it just seemed to get more difficult everyday. Not to mention tomorrow would be one year since Ethan died, one year since she lost the only guy she could ever love and would ever love. Stasia wiped a tear that ran down her cheek, she knew she would always miss Ethan, she still loved him even though she couldn't be with him anymore.
The next morning Stasia woke up, took a shower and dressed in dark skinny jeans and a black top. She was sure she was the only one besides Ethan's parents who would remember what today was. Stasia didn't even bother with breakfast she wasn't that hungry anyway.
Paul had arrived at school with Jared today. He had been feeling a slight pain all day in his chest and sadness, he knew it was coming from Stasia but he hadn't said anything to anyone yet. When the two of them walked inside Jared ran off to meet Kim by her locker while Paul headed to meet Jacob, Embry and Quil.
"Hey," Paul said when he walked over to them.
"Paul," Quil said.
"You given any more thought into being a little less of a jerk to Stasia?" Jacob asked.
"Not really," Paul told them and he turned to look down the hall.
"Paul, acting like this isn't going to help you or her," Embry told him. "Just get over yourself," he added and Paul opened his mouth to say something but then closed it and placed his hand over his chest.
"Anastasia's here," he said. "And she's a lot more sad and upset today," he added as he rubbed his hand over his chest.
"Maybe you should try to help her instead of being a jerk," Quil suggested and Paul shrugged and walked off.
When Paul walked into the class he had with Stasia he walked across the room and sat in the seat in front of the one she always sat in like he did before and waited for her to walk in. When Stasia walked in she saw Paul sitting in the seat in front of hers and shook her head, she was so not in the mood to deal with him today. She saw Paul look over as if he sensed she walked in.
Paul knew the moment Stasia walked in the room. He looked over at her, he could tell that she felt horrible. That there was more to just missing Ethan today. He watched her as she walked towards him and then right passed him and slid into her seat behind him.
"Ask her if she's ok?" His wolf again
"No." Paul silently argued.
"It can't hurt to ask,"
"Yeah it can."
"Just ask her!" the wolf demanded.
Paul turned around in his seat.
"Anastasia are you ok?" Paul asked quietly.
"You don't really care," Stasia told him.
"Tell her you do," his wolf said.
"Shut up and let me handle this or I'll never talk to her again," Paul silently told his wolf.
"Asshole." his wolf growled.
"Anastasia," Paul said. "You may not believe it but I do care."
"I don't believe you," she whispered.
"Anastasia," Paul said. "Just….are you really ok?"
"Fine," she told him but he didn't believe her.
"I don't believe you," he said softly. "But you don't have to tell me anything." he said as the teacher walked in the room.
"Its been a year today," she whispered as Paul turned around and Paul turned back around and glanced at her.
"The first year's always the hardest," he said and turned back around.
After school Stasia made her way to the small cemetery Ethan was buried in. She walked over and knelt in front of his grave.
"Ethan," she whispered. "Things have been so hard for me since you left," she said as tears filled her eyes. "I thought things were supposed to get easier with time, that's what people told me anyway." she said and wiped tears that ran down her cheek. "But it hasn't gotten any easier, its only gotten more difficult for me," she confessed. "Maybe there is something wrong with me, maybe that's why I'm just not able to let go." she sobbed. "Or maybe I just don't want to let go of you because I'm so afraid I'll start to forget you. The way you smile, the way you smelled; like rain," she said. "The way your hand felt in mine," she sighed. "I just don't want to forget you." she cried. "I still love you Ethan so much," she sobbed and laid down on the ground and continued to cry. She didn't even notice that the sky had clouded over and rain was pouring down over her body.
After school Paul went to the cemetery to visit his parents. Everything with Stasia had brought back memories of his parents. They had died about three years ago, he was fourteen. His dad had a heart attack one day on the way home from work and crashed his car into a tree, he died on the way to the hospital from the heart attack. A few months later they found out his mom had cancer and it was to progressed for any treatments to work and she passed away. Paul had lost both of his parents in a few months. He knew if his mom was still here she could help him out with the issue with Stasia. It was going to be difficult for both of them, she was never going to trust him or want him and he could deny it all he wanted, say he didn't want her, but he truth was he did want her.
"I just have no idea how to deal with a girl like Anastasia, so sad, lonely and holding onto a past love I can never compete with." he said. "I don't have anything and Ethan's family was one of the families here that had money. She's used to a guy that can take her places and spend money on her and I can't do that." he sighed. "Plus I don't think she wants to let go of Ethan." he sighed and shook his head as he felt himself get even sadder suddenly, an almost overwhelming sadness, he knew Stasia must be here.
"Anastasia's here." he said to himself. "She said its been a year today," he added and he started walking in the direction his instincts took him as rain started to pour down.
Paul finally found Stasia a few minutes later by Ethan's grave and she was lying on the ground crying. Paul ran over to her.
"No, Anastasia," his wolf howled
"Anastasia," he said and touched her back. "Anastasia you have to get up, you're going to freeze or catch a cold if you don't." he told her.
"I don't care," he heard her mumble.
"Get her up," his wolf demanded.
"Damn it Anastasia," he growled. "Please don't do this," he told her but she didn't say anything.
"Pick her up and get her away from here before she really does get sick." his wolf demanded.
Paul sighed and picked her up and he felt her head hit his chest, he saw her bag on the ground and grabbed it. He knew she was cold because she was shaking so he ran to his house as fast as he could.
When Paul walked in his house he dropped her bag by the couch and laid her down on the couch.
"Anastasia," he said softly. "I'll get you something dry to put on." he told her and went to his bedroom. He returned a few seconds later with a pair of pants and a t-shirt.
"Anastasia," he whispered. "Go change out of your wet clothes ok," he said.
"Paul," Stasia whispered.
"Yeah its me," he said softly. "Go change out of your wet clothes," he told her and she nodded and took the clothes Paul held out to her. "Just down the hall, bathroom is the only door on the left." he told her and she nodded and stood up and walked down the hall.
When Stasia walked into the bathroom she looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was soaked and sticking to her face. Her clothes were soaked as well and clung to her body, no wonder she was freezing. Stasia quickly stripped off her clothes and put the ones Paul gave her on. She had to roll the waist and legs of the pants several times because they were so big. The t-shirt was huge on her as well, the sleeves of the short sleeved t-shirt hung past her elbows. Stasia finally walked out of the bathroom and back to the living room. She sat on the couch, Paul noticed she was still shaking a little.
"Anastasia, are you still cold?" he asked and Stasia thought he sounded concerned and looked concerned as well.
"Yes," she admitted softly.
"I'll find you a blanket ok," he said.
"Alright," she agreed and Paul disappeared down the hall. He kept all the blankets in a closet in the extra bedroom, he didn't need blankets to keep warm since his body temperature was always 108 degrees. He grabbed a blanket out of the closet and brought it back to Stasia.
"Here," he said . "Do you want to lie down or anything?" he asked
"I'm ok," she said as Paul wrapped the blanket around her. "I should probably get home."
"Anastasia, its raining really hard outside," he told her. "I mean you can barely see two feet in front of you its raining so hard."
"But Paul I…"
"Do you need to call your mom so she knows you're ok?"
"Probably so," she said quietly.
"Ok," he said. "You have a cell phone?"
"Yes, in my bag," she told him. "Wherever that is."
"Right here," he said and grabbed it from the floor and handed to her. She opened it and pulled her phone out. "Do you want me to do it?" he asked. "So you can keep warm."
"Paul I…" she said.
"I'll be nice," he said. "I'll let your mom know you're ok, I'll bring you home later."
"Ok," she agreed and she dialed the number and handed Paul her phone.
"Why don't you lay down and rest, I'll go talk to your mom," he told her and she nodded and laid down on the couch as Paul walked into the kitchen.
"Stasia, honey are you ok?" her mom asked when he answered.
"Mrs. Miller," Paul said.
"Yes, who is this and why are you calling from my daughters phone?"
"Mrs. Miller Anastasia is fine," Paul assured her. "This is Paul Lahote, I go to school with her."
"Ok," she said. "I know who you are."
"I found Anastasia today at the cemetery visiting Ethan," Paul told her. "she told me its been a year today."
"Oh it has," her mom said softly. "I forgot."
"When I found her she was lying on the ground crying in the rain, I brought her to my house and she changed out of her clothes since hers were soaked and she's lying down on my couch with a blanket so she can get warm."
"But she is ok?" her mom asked.
"Yes she seems to be." he said. "I told her I would drive her home when the rain stopped or at least when it wasn't raining so hard."
"Ok Paul, let me talk to her first ok," she said.
"Of course," Paul said and he walked into the living room and over to the couch. He knelt down in front of her. "Anastasia, your mom wants to talk to you," Paul told her and handed her the cell phone.
"Mom,"
"Honey are you ok?' her mom asked.
"I'm ok my mom," Stasia said softly.
"This Paul guy you're with, you're ok with him right?"
"Yes mom," Stasia told her. "He's not going to do anything."
"Ok, be careful honey." her mom said. "Give your phone back to Paul."
"Ok." she whispered. "She wants to talk to you."
"Ok," Paul said and took her phone back and walked into the kitchen.
"Paul, you bring her home as soon as this storm passes."
"I will." he promised. "I'll take care of her Mrs. Miller, I won't let anything happen to her," he said. "I'll keep her safe."
"I actually believe you when you say that." she said.
"Good because I mean it, Mrs. Miller."
"Paul, you're taking care of my daughter call me Laurie," she told him.
"Ok," he said.
"Maybe you'll be the one that finally gets through to her," she said. "Someone needs to."
"The only thing I can do is try," he said. "I'll have her home as soon as I can get her there safely, I promise."
"Ok Paul." she said and the two of them hung up.
So how long do you think Paul's niceness will last? Review please.
