EPISODE 3: The Great Cave Offensive
"Kirby!" Marx shrieked, scrabbling at the sheer rock cliff in front of him. "Kirby! Somebody! Anybody! Get me outta here!" The puffball threw himself at the rock wall, trying his best to get a grip and climb it. Too bad it was pretty freaking hard to climb when you didn't have hands, much less arms. Marx sighed, slumping down against the rocks, his body aching from trying to claw his way out of the hole he had fallen into. "Darn it. Is this what you would call karma?" He groaned, kicking at the tattered remains of his ball in front of him.
He had just been rolling along on his brand new ball, when suddenly; he fell down this hole in the middle of the ground. He must have fallen a hundred feet! Luckily the ball broke his fall, but the stupid thing had burst to bits when he landed on it. This sucks… He thought angrily, I'll probably die in this stinking hole. And no one will notice I've gone missing until a year later, and even then they won't bother to look for me…didn't even get to tell Bronto Burt what color flowers I wanted at my funeral…but it won't matter, because there won't even BE one.
He sprang to his feet, screaming, "I'm sorry, okay! I'm sorry!" for no reason and to no one in particular.
Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice say "Marx…?" very faintly.
"Kirby!" He cried out, craning his head up.
It was hard to make out the puffball's face in the distant light. "Hold on, okay? I'm coming down…"
"No, don't! Just…run and get a rope or something!" Marx stuttered, as Kirby tried to climb down the hole without slipping. "Stop it! Go back and get some other help!"
Kirby paused, frowning. "Who else would be of any help?"
"A Birdon!" Marx called up. "Duh! They can fly!"
"So can I," Kirby insisted. "And-!" Suddenly, he lost his grip on the side of the hole and tumbled down.
"Kirby!" Marx shrieked. But Kirby had managed to regain himself in midair. He puffed up to twice his size and floated safely to the bottom.
"Climb on," he told Marx, landing neatly next to him. He helped his buddy onto his back, who clung there with just his feet. Then the powerful puffball took a deep breath and flapped his stubby arms rhythmically. They rose slowly from the ground and began their ascent, like a balloon floating into the heavens. Kirby puffed heavily with the extra weight of his friend. They were only a quarter of the way to the top when Kirby started faltering.
"Hey! W…We're going down!" Marx cried out, flailing and kicking Kirby in the process.
"Sorry!" Kirby gasped, landing back on the ground. "I'll go get a rope like you said." Marx hopped off, his eyes blank with hopelessness. Kirby took in another deep breath and started flying to the top once more. He got about halfway this time, and then floated back down, panting with effort. When he had caught his breath, he turned to Marx, confused, unsure of what to say.
"Well this is great. You'll probably end up eating me before I eat you," his friend scowled. There was a long silence. Then, for some reason, the two burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Marx flopped over onto the ground and rolled back and forth, getting dirt all over his little body.
"Hey, look over here!" Kirby said, interrupting their giggling. He rolled a few small rocks out of the way, revealing a tunnel.
"Ohh, no. There is no way I am going in there." Marx said, jumping to his feet and backing away. Kirby shrugged and disappeared into the tunnel. Marx scowled. "You suck, Kirby! Literally." And he ducked in after him.
The tunnel widened and became less cramped the farther they went. "Kirby, I think we should turn back," Marx whispered. "This cave looks like it was carved by something. Let's leave. Now."
"We can't," Kirby reminded him. Despite his fear, they couldn't go back and sit in the bottom of that hole. They would end up starving. In other words, Marx would be eaten, and Kirby would end up starving after he had digested his friend. They had to keep forging on to prevent that from happening.
"But there might be monsters down here!" Marx squeaked out. Kirby didn't share his friend's fear. If there were monsters down here, he could fight them, and then the Warp Star would come to him. Without warning, Marx yelped. "Oh no! We're surrounded!"
Kirby looked all around. "…Huh?" He didn't see any monsters.
"L-Look a little closer," Marx stammered.
Kirby squinted his eyes. They were surrounded by nothing but rocks…rocks that had eyes and little feet! The creepy-looking rocks blinked at them and slowly heaved themselves upwards. "Leave," one warned in a grating voice.
Marx stood back, quivering. Kirby marched forward bravely and swallowed the rock whole. He made a face as it slid down his throat. Rocks weren't necessarily that good for eating. All of the other rocks gave cries of fear and backed away slowly. Kirby turned gray and a strange-looking hat appeared on his head.
"Kirby!" Marx cried out. "You're gray! Are you Rock Kirby, or did eating that just make you sick?"
In response, Kirby turned into a rock. Marx wailed, "Noooo!" thinking that it had been the latter, but then Kirby turned back to normal, frowning. This was definitely a weird ability…
"Leave!" The rocks called out, afraid to come any closer. "We're telling you for your own good! Leave and don't come back!"
"Why should we listen to you?" Marx snorted, a lot more confident now that Kirby had a copy ability. "You're stinking rocks. We could smash you to bits."
Beady eyes glared at them from all directions, but the rocks said nothing more. It wasn't worth it if their warnings fell on deaf ears. Kirby signaled for them to keep going. If something lay in wait for them, they would just have to face it and tough it out. So they forged on through the dark cave
"Hey, there's a light up ahead!" Marx exclaimed, after a little while. "Daylight?"
Kirby seriously doubted it, since they were still a hundred feet underground, but they took off running for it. As they reached the end of the tunnel, light flooded their vision. They were in a large cavern and it was filled with treasure! Sunlight filtered in, far above their heads, making the piles of gold glimmer. There was all sorts of other treasure in the cavern.
"So THIS is why they didn't want us coming here! They've been stowing away all this treasure!" Marx said, shuffling through piles of coins. "Hey, what's this thing?"
A tan creature with a big nose and a bow on its head peered up at him from atop a pile of coins. "BOING! To you I say hello!"
Marx lifted an eyebrow and walked away, choosing to ignore the weird creature. "C'mon, which piece of junk in here do you think is worth the most?"
Kirby stared at the piles of random artifacts and treasure. Honestly, he didn't think it mattered since there wasn't any currency in Dreamland. Plus, the idea of stealing didn't appeal to the kind puffball. "Let's keep going. There's an exit," Kirby said simply, heading for what appeared to be the way out.
Marx blinked at his friend, stunned. With a grumble, he grabbed the item that was closest to him—an expensive-looking katana—and followed. The two traveled on in silence, since Marx couldn't speak around the treasure clutched in his mouth. As they passed through tunnel after tunnel, sometimes they could feel eyes watching them from behind. Both ignored this foreboding feeling and pushed on.
As they did, they became aware that the tunnels began to slope down steeper and steeper. Kirby had a bad feeling about going deeper underground, but there was no other way to go—just this one straight path. Finally, they came upon a humongous cavern, ten times as big as the one that had been filled with treasure.
The pair paused and looked all around them. At the end of the cavern, faint light filtered down, but they were still far too deep underground to fly out. Kirby turned to Marx, eyes sad, about to tell him that they weren't leaving anytime soon, when—
WHAM!
BAM!
"WHAT THE KRACKO?!"
Marx dropped the katana he was holding. Something big was coming. "Run!" Kirby shrieked. The earth around them was shaking. Rocks were crumbling, falling all around them, threatening to crush them. Before they could get very far, a huge figure emerged out of the darkness.
It looked like a strange statue of sorts, but its rocky features moved around as if it were a living creature. It had a grinning face, two eyes, a headdress, and even a pair of earrings. In the center of its forehead was a shining gem.
It glared down at the pair. They could only stare back up at it in fear. "Um…" Marx managed to stammer. "W-we like your treasure hoard…I'll just be giving this back to you…" He went to pick up the katana, but two rocky fists came flying out of nowhere and tried to crush them both.
Marx flung himself off to one side while Kirby leapt high into the air and used his Rock ability to come smashing back down on top of the hand. The monster withdrew, shaking its fist and bellowing with anger. Kirby turned back into his puffball form and stood at the ready, waiting for another chance to strike.
The monster smacked its hand down, but missed once more. Kirby landed another good hit. The beast's eyes narrowed. Before Kirby could return to his normal form, it snatched him up and started crushing the poor little guy between his ginormous hands.
"Kirby!" Marx shrieked. Long cracks were appearing on Kirby's rock body as he tried to hold on. The monster cackled and squeezed even harder. He couldn't hold out much longer.
Looking around frantically, Marx leapt towards the katana and snatched it up in his mouth. "Hyaaa!" He roared, leaping straight at the monster's face. It reeled backwards in surprise, but it was no use. Marx landed directly on the evil creature's forehead, plunging the sword into the jewel that rested there. The monster bellowed with pain, eyes rolling around in its head. It staggered and started to go down. Marx let go of the katana, and leapt back to where Kirby was. He was still a rock, carelessly left on the ground. Long cracks ran through his body and parts of him had crumbled away.
"Kirby?" Marx whispered, fearing the worst.
In a flash of light, Kirby turned back to normal. He looked extremely beat down. His Copy Ability had gone now that he was back.
"Oh, thank goodness!" His friend sighed in relief. "I thought-!"
A fierce rumbling cut them off. But it wasn't the monster this time—it was the cavern. It was collapsing. "Come on!" The two took off towards the small shaft of light at the end of the cavern. Unfortunately, it was a dead end. All they could do was stare up at daylight as the cave crumbled around them. Marx turned to Kirby, eyes dotted with tears.
"Is this it then…?" He sniffled.
Kirby looked at his friend and gave him a weak smile.
"Well, we had some good adventures," Marx said sadly. "I just hope that all those pranks I pulled won't be held against me in the afterlife. I never told you this, but you're my best friend. And I'm sorry about the time I set your house on fire—yeah, that was me. I blamed it on a Burning Leo, but it was all me. And I'm really sorry about that."
Kirby stared straight up, not listening.
"Hey!" Marx snapped. "I'm spilling my guts here! Why don't you pay attention?!"
"Look!" Kirby shouted, pointing upwards. Marx looked up. A shimmering star was coming straight at them, down into the hole. The Warp Star! "We're saved!" Kirby squealed, jumping up and down. Marx joined him in celebrating. The Star landed and floated quietly next to them. Kirby climbed on and grabbed Marx by his hat, just like last time.
"Wait!" Marx cried out suddenly. "We can go back and nab some treasure before—WAHHHHH!"
The Warp Star took off, going straight up the hole as the cave crumbled behind it. They burst out of the darkness, shielding their eyes from the sun as the hole collapsed inward, closing up for good. They hopped off the Star, which hovered next to them and didn't fly away. Kirby fixed his little nubs around it, saying, "I'll make sure I don't lose you again!" and started to take it back to his house.
Marx followed him home. Kirby put the Warp Star in his house and came back out, grinning from nonexistent ear to nonexistent ear. Marx tipped his head to one side, confused. "What are you so happy about?"
"You saved me!" Kirby laughed, as if he had just realized it.
"…I did?" Marx's eyes widened.
Kirby smiled and nodded.
Marx gave a joyous hop. "I did, didn't I? That was awesome! Who knew I was good with a sword, huh?" He kneaded his feet on the ground, face flushed with excitement. "Too bad we didn't catch it on camera or something, huh? Then Dreamland could see just how awesome I am!" He positively beamed.
"Let's celebrate!" Kirby said thoughtfully, trying to think of ways to throw a good party. All he could come up with was eating cake.
"Okay! But first, we find a new ball!" Marx said, unable to contain his excitement. "And…and do you think we could go down to the Town Square to brag? I mean, you witnessed it, right? You'll support me?"
"Of course!"
"And then we'll throw the best party Dreamland ever saw! Who should we invite?"
"Hmm…Dedede?"
"Uh, I don't think that's such a good idea. He hates you, remember?"
"Oh. Yeah."
So the two walked on together, proud that the adventure had ended so wonderfully, eager for their celebration at the end of the day. As they discussed their plans for the party, Kirby suddenly burst out in the middle of the conversation,
"Wait! So YOU were the one that set my house on fire!"
