She chanced a glimpse at Quinn and could've sworn she saw a flash of hurt in her hazel eyes. Santana instantly felt the need to explain the situation. "But, like, we're not...together...or whatever. She moved to New York about a year ago and needed a place to stay. She helps with the rent and is overall good company, so it kind of just works, you know?" Santana silently pleaded that Quinn would understand the dynamics surrounding her current relationship with the girl Santana had once viewed as the love of her life.
"So you're living with your ex-girlfriend? The girl who you once probably planned to spend the rest of your life with? And nothing is happening between you two?" Quinn inquired, and Santana seriously questioned if the girl could actually read her mind. Quinn's voice had its usual softness to it, but Santana, who had long since become accustomed to Quinn's indefinite ways of expressing herself, could sense the icy undertones of it. Quinn was a master at hiding her thoughts and feelings, and always had been. She could turn your blood ice cold with nothing more than a glare, but you never really knew what she was thinking. That's what made Quinn Fabray so intimidating; she subtly dropped in threats and insults throughout conversations, enveloping them in casual "How are you-s?" and "What's going on-s?" so you didn't always notice them until after she had walked away. Her voice-so naturally calm and gentle-never gave her away. Unless you knew her as well as Santana did.
Santana glanced out the window as she composed her thoughts. "Quinn," she began, and found herself seeking hazel eyes, "there is absolutely nothing going on between Brittany and me. We're long over. It's completely and totally platonic, I swear. She's actually still in a very committed relationship with our lovely Trouty Mouth." A small smile formed on Santana's lips as she watched Quinn process the information.
"Wait, seriously? You're telling me they're still dating?" Quinn asked incredulously.
Santana rolled her eyes. "Yep, though, I'm not sure why they aren't living together yet; it's been 3 years for fuck's sake. Anyway, he's sort of like a big time male model now. Britt was somehow able to get through to that minuscule brain of his, which I still even question the existence of, and got him to settle down and launch a career. Just don't ask me how she did it. He travels a lot, which you would think would piss Brittany off, but it doesn't because he brings her back all sorts of gifts and special candy." Santana said it in a nice enough tone, but Quinn could tell there was a shade of anger in her words.
Quinn scrunched up her eyebrows as she thought about the situation. She knew when she and Sam started dating in her junior year they were probably doomed; his impressions really weren't that great and he didn't exactly seem like a guy who wanted to be tied down to one woman. Sure, he had given her the promise ring and told her everything she wanted to hear at the time, but Sam was also the guy who dated both Quinn and Santana within hours of each other, and then agreed to take Rachel and Mercedes to junior prom later that year. In retrospect, Quinn thought, the promise ring didn't do a whole lot of good for their relationship. So hearing that Brittany-of all people-was the one to help him settle down and focus on his career was rather astounding.
"Wow," Quinn muttered, "that's-"
"Shocking?" Santana interrupted. "Surprising? Unbelievable? Not really likely in any universe to ever exist?"
Quinn nodded in response, seemingly lost in thought. "Why do I get the feeling you're not completely okay with their situation?" She kept her voice light and nonchalant, but curiously surged through her at a rapid pace.
Santana sighed and began picking at a hole in her jeans. She didn't want to look Quinn in the eyes out of fear of saying too much. "No, I am. I mean, I'm happy she's happy, you know? I guess it's kind of just weird seeing her so...serious with someone else. Because you were right earlier; at one point in my life I did want to spend forever with Brittany." She took a deep breath and looked up. Quinn's features were soft and there was a small, sad smile on her lips.
"I know," she said quietly. "But if she's moved on, don't you think you deserve to, too?" She cocked her head to the side and Santana could feel herself getting lost on the depths of hazel. But Santana suddenly realized the intensity of their conversation, and she hated feeling vulnerable in front of anyone.
"I'm fine, okay? You may not think I've moved on, Fabray, but you can ask any one of the lovely ladies on my long list of hot chicks I've brought to bed with me and whose worlds I rocked. I think you'll find them to be in disagreement with you." Santana wiggled her eyebrows naughtily and winked at Quinn.
The blonde winced at Santana's brazen tone and waved her hand impatiently. "Okay, no. Having hundreds of one night stands with random women does not mean you have moved on. Quite the opposite actually."
Santana raised a questioning eyebrow. "Oh yeah? I didn't realize you were a psychologist as well as a lawyer," she retorted with more venom than she intended.
"You should have already been able to tell me that, seeing as you're the one studying psychology at the moment," Quinn challenged, her eyes surveying the area around Santana, still scattered crumpled up paper everywhere. Santana felt an all too familiar flare of anger stream through her veins.
"Why do you even care? It's not like it affects you." Santana crossed her arms and her legs with a stony look on her face, avoiding Quinn's forceful gaze.
Quinn opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, clearly at a loss of words. Finally, she sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? I didn't mean to sound like a bitch-"
"Yet you managed to do a hell of a job at it," Santana interjected, her custom sneer in place. Quinn rolled her eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time on the train ride-a habit, Quinn was beginning to think, that was most likely constructed from being around Santana for long periods of time.
"I'm sorry," she said vehemently, "It's just, Santana, you are worth so much more than a series of random hookups with women who won't even remember what happened when they wake up. You're better than that and you deserve more than that."
Santana finally looked Quinn in the eyes; she was met with blazing, fiery passion within them and it made Quinn's words that much more real and genuine. She felt a pang of guilt in her chest for snapping at Quinn.
"Thank you," she whispered, unable to manage anything else. Quinn nodded in acknowledgement and grew silent.
Santana realized they were just about ten minutes from the station and decided she should start picking up the mess she made. She threw all of the paper balls into her bag, and shoved her laptop and textbooks unceremoniously in after them. She was aware of Quinn's fixed stare on her, watching her every movement, but Santana didn't really know what to say to the girl so she avoided the eye contact. She sat back and continued to stare outside.
The train finally came to a shuddering halt and the two girls stood up simultaneously. Santana glanced at Quinn and saw a smile in place. She threw one of her own grins back and bit her lip as relief washed over her body, the temporary tension dissolving almost immediately.
They made their way out of the compartment and into the crowded halls of the train. People were walking haphazardly everywhere, swinging bags and dragging children behind them.
They were just about to get off the train when a man came sprinting down the aisle, not even bothering to look where he was going or who he was running into. He knocked Santana off balance and sent her spinning into Quinn, pinning her up against the window of another compartment.
Quinn's hands found themselves on Santana's rather hard abdomen to keep them both from hitting the floor, feeling the muscles tense up underneath her thin V-neck shirt.
"Down girl," Quinn murmured teasingly in Santana's ear as a grin spread across her face. Santana's skin scorched at the body contact and her heart was beating a mile a minute. She felt like she had been electrocuted, but didn't want the feeling to ever end. She realized her lips were mere inches from Quinn's. Within kissing distance.
Santana shook the thoughts out of her mind as she regained herself. "I uhh...I'm sorry," she said, looking up at Quinn's eyes with an apologetic look on her face.
Quinn rolled her eyes. "I was kidding, Santana. It's fine, simple mistake." She reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Santana's ear. The simple gesture sent Santana's hormones into overdrive and she clenched her fists at her side, having to almost physically restrain herself from closing the distance between her lips and Quinn's.
Santana took a deep breath and untangled herself from Quinn, turning to stride quickly out onto the train station platform, with the blonde on her heels. She continued walking towards the exit when she felt a cool hand capture her wrist. Santana turned on her heel and looked at Quinn with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm going the other way," Quinn said softly, and Santana's heart sunk. She had hoped for a little time off of the train with Quinn. Maybe share a cab together...
She shook her head trying to get a grip on herself. "Oh, right, sorry." Santana didn't say anything else because Quinn was looking at her in a way that made her thoughts inappropriate for a train station and she didn't want Quinn to find that out.
Quinn took a sudden step forward and snaked her arms around Santana's waist, pulling her in for a tight hug. Santana felt her breath catch in her throat, but she threw her arms around Quinn's neck, secretly never wanting to let go of the girl.
"Now that we both reside in the wonderful city of New York, I'll be expecting a call from you to hang out as soon as possible," Quinn whispered into Santana's ear, causing goosebumps to rise along every inch of Santana's skin. Not trusting her voice, Santana just nodded into Quinn's neck.
A second later and Quinn pulled back with a grin on her face. She ran her hand down the length of Santana's arm, seeming to enjoy the effect it had on the girl's breathing.
"See you soon, Santana," Quinn said in her melodic voice. Then she turned gracefully and walked out of the train station, leaving Santana to absentmindedly brush her fingers over her own skin, still feeling the warmth of Quinn's fingers all over.
