Once again, thanks for all the reviews!!! To be truly honest, although I spent almost a year in the RAF cadets, I have absolutely no idea how the SAS works and am just making it up as I go along. Therefore I didn't know about women not being allowed. As a girl, I find that a bit sexist but HEY!!! I'm going to keep Amoeba in it because I've already introduced her but thanks for letting me know. I might include it in the plot later...
Sorry for any typos! I sometimes get excited when I think of an idea and tend to make mistakes. I do proof read but obviously I miss some bits.
In response to Wishaway2014's question, I actually hadn't thought that part out. Around fourteen I suppose, but then would he be allowed to tutor agents? I'm going to say sixteen, or there abouts.
Thanks again!
Asha =D
Chapter Three –
There was an exceedingly awkward pause.
"Err...hi." Alex said, slightly too enthusiastically. "I'm Cub and I'll be tutoring you for the foreseeable future." They all stared at him expectantly. "Erm..." Alex stared around the room, desperately looking for inspiration. Through the open window, he caught a glimpse of the assault course and an idea flitted into his head. "Right...ok..." He said, a little more forcefully. "I thought I'd start with a trial run of the assault course, just to see where you all stand." Immediately, the room was filled with groans and whines of utter despair.
"But we've done it...like...a hundred times!!!" Moaned Lemming.
"It's a living HELL!!!" Amoeba squeaked. Weasel seemed the only one looking forward to the trial.
"I'm ready, Sir!" He barked, throwing in a salute for good measure.
"Oh shut up you little sucky-uppy slug." Pig said, eyeing Weasel with a look of contempt.
"I'm a Weasel actually!" Weasel said, smiling sarcastically. "And do you really want me to break off your thumbs?"
"ENOUGH!!!" Alex yelled over Pig's snappy retort. The room fell silent. "Right..." Alex said, returning to his usual tone of voice. "...meet me outside by the assault course in less than five minutes." With that, he spun on his heel and marched out of the hut, slamming the door behind him.
Five minutes later, Alex and T-Unit were congregated outside the small, wooden fence that separated the field from the assault course. Weasel seemed beside himself with joy at the chance to prove himself while the others shivered beside him, the cold not the only factor in their distress.
"Right..." Alex said. "I'm going to send you in one at a time. I'll also time you..." He held up the small, black stopwatch in his hand. "...just so we have something to work with." The Unit exchanged worried looks. Deciding to ignore this, Alex went on. "I want you to complete the whole circuit in less than five minutes, that's your target. Ok...Weasel...You go first. Your time starts....NOW!!!"
Weasel got off to a good start, running flat out towards the stack of tall tyres that they were supposed to climb. He scrambled up them, his feet waving slightly as he hauled himself up. Prawn sniggered from somewhere behind Alex.
Weasel continued to bolt along the wooden board, wobbling precariously on some, jumping gingerly over others. Finally, he made it to the Zip-wire. He looped his foot through the hoop and jumped up, onto the wire. He sailed easily along the track yelling "So long, SUCKERS!!!" as he passed the waiting Unit.
"Oh somebody shoot him..." Amoeba muttered.
Weasel had been doing well up until that point. He managed to un-loop his feet from the Zip-Wire and walked hesitantly up towards the swinging bollards. The object was simple: Get to the other end without getting thrown off the two planks. Simple.
Weasel took a tentative step forward and was immediately knocked straight off the planks, landing face first in the mud. The Unit roared with laughter, so much so that Alex was actually a bit worried that Pig might suffer a heart attack. Weasel extracted his face from the messy bog that coated the underside of the bollard enclosure and leapt up, snarling. Taking this as a warning sign, Alex placed himself between Weasel and the rest of the, still howling, Unit. Weasel leapt on top of Lemming, slapping and punching every part of him he could reach before being roughly pulled off by Alex.
"OI!!!" Alex yelled, throwing Weasel against the fence. "Watch it!!!" Weasel scowled, before grudgingly taking his place at the rear of the queue. Alex watched his retreat carefully. "Right..." He said, looking back towards the front of the queue. "Pig...you next."
This stopped Pig laughing. Miserabley, he took his place at the start of the track, hanging his head.
"Your time starts....NOW!!!" Pig waddled off, his bottom wiggling as he ran. When he finally reached the tyres, he looked at them for a moment before pathetically reaching up and whimpering.
"C'MON PIG!!!" Yelled Lemming. "YOU CAN DO IT!!!" Pig turned round and gave Lemming the thumbs up. He then reached up and removed the top tyre.
"HANG ON!!!" Alex yelled. "You can't do that!!" Prawn sniggered. Pig continued to demolish the tyre stack. When all the tyres had been removed, he climbed up onto the small ledge and strutted down it, mincing slightly. The Unit all laughed heartily.
Pig made it to the boards. As soon as he stood on one, it broke clean in two. At this, he raised his arms in triumph. The Unit laughed even harder.
"Pig, get over here!!!" Alex yelled over to him. Pig cheerily obliged, clapping Alex on the shoulder as he passed him. Alex shook his head, not quite believing what he was seeing. "Next up...Amoeba!!!!"
It soon became clear why Himmel had classed Amoeba's weapon handling skills as 'incompetent'. She couldn't actually reach anything. After clambering up the clear path that Pig had left in his wake, she tip-toed along the boards, the boards not even bending as they took on her almost non-existent weight. The Zip-Wire was too high for her, as she was slung across the ground like a rag doll, waving cheerily to the Unit as she was dragged past them. The bollards knocked her off sooner than they had Weasel and she actually flew about two feet before falling with a crunch to the floor. Alex shook his head miserably. "Amoeba..." He gestured to the back of the queue. Amoeba picked herself up and skipped back along the queue to the rear, slapping high fives as she went.
Alex was just about to order Lemming onto the course when a strong hand landed heavily on his shoulder. Alex spun round. Himmel was standing in front of him, flanked on either side by the biggest, beefiest men Alex had ever seen in his life.
"A-Unit..." Himmel said, looking over each of Alex's agents. "...meet T-Unit." The men behind Himmel sniggered. Himmel turned to Alex, an annoyingly smug smile dancing on his face. "I'm going to need that assault course Cub."
"We were just using it, thanks." Alex replied swiftly. "We've only got two more agents to go..."
"Well in that case..." Himmel exchanged smirks with a few members of the group behind him. "We'll hand around boys, won't we?" The men nodded. Alex glared at Himmel before turning back to T-Unit.
"Lemming..." He gestured towards the course. Lemming raised his eyebrows.
"No way." He replied. "Not with those goons watching." The goons smirked at him.
"Lemming." Alex raised his own eyebrows. "I ordered you to start the course..." Lemming glared at him before reluctantly trudging off towards the start of the course. "Your time starts...NOW!!!"
Lemming ran over to the tyres. He then abruptly stopped and looked over his shoulder at Alex. Aware that Himmel was breathing down his neck, Alex made frantic ushering gestures towards the tyre stack. Lemming grinned at Alex before determinedly walking around the tyre stack.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Bellowed Himmel, blowing Alex's brains out. "GET HERE LEMMING!!!" Lemming appeared from around the other side of the tyre enclosure and happily walked over to where Alex and Himmel were standing. "EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!!" Himmel yelled in Lemming's face. Alex was not sure the high scale of decibels was entirely necessary.
"Well..." Lemming began. "It seems silly to me, climbing up a load of tyres when there is a perfectly good route around the side." T-Unit stifled giggles and smirks.
"REALLY?" Himmel yelled. "IS THAT SO?" Lemming nodded. Himmel surveyed him through his small, beady eyes. "One more peep from you, Lemming..." He whispered so only Alex and Lemming could hear him. "...and you'll find yourself back home to Daddy before you can say 'failure'. Do I make myself clear?" The prospect of returning home to his father must really have scared him, as Lemming immediately dropped all of the cockiness and replied with nothing more than a subdued nod.
Himmel straightened up a smirk once again in position on his features.
"It will be a sad, sad day when T-Unit make it through their Final Assessment..." He said, before turning back to his own Unit. "C'mon boys..." He said, striding away from Alex and T-Unit. "...let's go paintballing instead." With whoops of gratitude, A-Unit followed Himmel away from the assault course, leaving Alex and a very subdued T-Unit standing miserably by the fence.
"Your turn, Prawn." Alex said, half heartedly. Prawn didn't last on the course long. He ended up getting his foot trapped between the two wobbling boards and Alex had to help him wiggle it out.
Altogether, Alex thought, as he tucked into a hearty meal of mush for his dinner, defeat was inevitable. There was no way he could succeed in getting these agents through their tests. Maybe he should just enjoy the time off school. He leant back in his hard, wooden chair and watched T-Unit clustered around their table.
They were not talking, the only communication was the occasional exchanged miserable glance, or a slight shift in the chair. They weren't talking. Alex wondered how much they knew about each other, how long they had spent together as a Unit. These were thing he would have to find out tomorrow as, right now, all he wanted was to go to sleep and forget the miserable first day.
I know this chapter wasn't particularly funny but I'm trying to set the scene before the actual proper training kicks in. Bear with me!!!
Asha =D
