Chapter three: Hunger Games

Annie and I are sitting in the living room enjoying the peace and quietness of the house while our children are in school. Yesterday, Cile who's twelve now, told us they're learning about the Hunger Games in school.

"We probably should tell them first." I say, thinking over the reactions that we had when we were told. We both knew that the Games were being taught in history classes, because they were a large part of the past of our country, but we figured we had a few more years before we'd have to sit down and explain to our kids why sometimes Annie checks out of reality, or why there are twelve houses in the Village here and we're the only family that lives here. Victors Village was renamed after the rebellion to The District Estates so that there wasn't the constant reminder of what used to be.

Since the only living Hunger Games Victors were few in number, the Districts whose Victors didn't survive the rebellion, had their Victors Village's demolished. The only District that has more than one house in use in their Victors Village is District 12.

At a younger age, the children had asked why we had no neighbors. We explained to them then that the houses around us were for decoration and tourists from the Capitol. It's mostly true. While I finally was forever relieved of my services to other women in the Capitol, it didn't mean that some of them didn't come visit me.

"I don't know if I can handle telling them what happened to us." Annie says after a few minutes of silence.

"Try? Please? It'll be easier. I'll be right here, and you know you're safe and I won't let anything happen to you or them." I tell her as I wrap my arms around her in a hug.

"I know, but none of us can control when it happens." The 70th Hunger Games were almost thirty years ago, and the rebellion was twelve years ago. While Annie has gotten better over the years, even now she still has her moments.

"It'll be alright," I kiss her.

At dinner that night, Cali tells us about some of the friends she's made at school and how this weekend, one of the girls is having a slumber party that she really wants to go to. Being ten years old, Cali has become a mini Annie. The only difference in looks is Cali inherited my eyes, and my face, while Cile inherited Annie's. Almost everything about my daughter reminds me of the days when Annie and I were the same age as our children, just a few years before either of us were reaped.

While Cali is telling us about her day, Cile is quietly eating his dinner, not interrupting his sister. He looks sad almost. Something is clearly bothering him. When Cali is done talking, I turn my attention to him.

"You alright son? You've been quiet tonight," I say.

"Just thinking."

"What are you thinking about?" I have a feeling that he's thinking about the Hunger Games.

"History class," he confirms my suspicions.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"They say that the Hunger Games were Games that children, ages twelve though eighteen, were forced to participate in. They said that some of our parents participated in it." He looks at Annie and me. Annie sighs.

"Both of you finish your dinner and then we'll go in the family room and talk about it." I tell them. Dinner is finished silently.

Even at the age of ten, when she's sad or upset Cali's favorite place to be is curled up in my lap. As soon as I sit down, she's climbing up and hugging me. I hug her back tightly and kiss the top of her head. Annie sits down beside me and I move my arm so that I can take her hand in mine.

"Why don't you start by telling us everything they've told you in school?" I suggest.

"They said that over ninety years ago, Panem was made up of 13 Districts who didn't seem to appreciate the Capitol, so they started a war and tried to over throw the government. The Capitol proved to be stronger than the Districts, and as punishment, District 13 was destroyed while the other 12 were forced to send children to the Hunger Games. The Hunger Games were games where they put the kids in an arena and they had to kill each other until there was only one kid left, but the Victor received special privileges for themselves and their District. District 4 was a career District, so they trained their kids to fight in the Games. They said that it lasted for seventy five years before two sixteen year old District 12 kids were chosen for the 74th and 75th Games, and a second rebellion happened. That was twelve years ago. They said that for some of us, our parents participated in the games or the war effort, but all of them were alive during that time, and all of us would have been babies. Mommy, please don't cry," he interrupts his telling. I rub the back of Annie's hand with my thumb and look over at her. I didn't realize she'd started crying.

"I can't do this Fin," she says, pulling her knees up to her chest and tucking her head between them.

"Yes you can Annie. I know you can. You're stronger than they give you credit for. Look at me, look at us, we've made it this far." I move Cali to the other side of me and put my arms around Annie. I lean in to whisper in her ear the things that used to calm her. Finally, I turn my attention back to the four green eyes that are watching us.

"Was there anything else that they told you?" I watch as he looks at his sister for a moment, and then back and Annie and me. He shakes his head. Nothing else that he wants Cali to hear. "How about you ask questions first, and we'll fill you in as you go." He looks back at Cali again and hesitates.

"She'll need to know this stuff too Cy, don't worry about her."

"Was it really as bad as they make it sound?" he asks.

"It depends on who you ask, but yes."

"I don't think they need to know everything." Annie says. "The Capitol wasn't very nice." She gives me one of her looks.

"I wasn't going to mention that." She's right. There are still some things that they're still too young to know. Things that the school won't tell them.

"Did you guys ever have to participate in the Hunger Games? Did you have friends who did?" Cile asks.
"Yes, and yes." I respond. I watch Cile's eyes go big for a moment. "I had friends who were reaped when I was twelve and thirteen. They came back to District 4 in brown wooden boxes. I was fourteen when they chose me."

"But you're so nice daddy. You wouldn't hurt anyone. Did you really have to kill other kids?" Cali asks, moving into the floor in front of me since she can't occupy my lap. I give her a small smile.

"I had to. If I didn't kill them, they'd have killed me."

"What about you mom?" Cile asks.

"I knew a few of the kids who were reaped before me, but the only one that it hurt to lose, came back to me." She looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

"I'm right here," I tell her. She nods her head and goes on.

"I was reaped when I was sixteen. I only killed three people. Two with the help of my twelve year old District partner, and the other because she killed him." Annie breaks down into full out sobs. I hug her tightly.

"What's it like? Killing people and watching people be killed?" Cile asks.

"It's like you're not even human anymore when you have to kill someone," I hesitantly look at Annie, "Watching someone you care about die, changes the whole rest of your life. You're never the same again. Even thirty and thirty-five years later, there are still nightmares, there are still moments when things remind us of what we went through, and it's hard, because you're never the same."

"Is that why people call you weird?" Cile's looking at Annie, but she's back in her games again.

"It's the reason for a lot of things son." I kiss the top of Annie's head as she continues to sob.

"How did she win?" he asks, knowing that his mother won't be able to answer him.

"By luck, chance, and because there wasn't a single thing I didn't do to get the Gamemakers to let her alone in the arena. You name it, I did it. There was an unexpected earthquake in the arena, and a dam broke and flooded the place. Being from District 4, she was the only tribute who could swim."

"What about the war?"

"The relationship your mother and I have started out very difficultly. In the world we grew up in, because of the things that I had to do for the Capitol, getting married wasn't ever an option. The 75th Hunger Games was what they called a Quarter Quell. Every twenty five years, they'd pull a card and that card was the Hunger Games event for that year. I was in the 65th Hunger Games, and your mother in the 70th. Being Victors, neither of us could be reaped again, and we were essentially safe from the Hunger Games except when I was called back to mentor two children. The card for the 75th Games read that only former Hunger Games tributes would be reaped. So every District had to sacrifice two of their Victors. People who had already won the Games before.

Both of us were reaped, but there was another woman who took your mothers place. Her name was Mags. She was eighty years old. She loved me and your mother like we were her grandchildren, and in return she was our grandmother. We all took care of one another. I wish you two could have met her. She'd love you, and you'd love her." I sigh as I remember my mentor, my grandmother, my District partner. Though things are different now, because of the memories I have, I still hate the Capitol for what they did.

"Did she die?" Cali asks. "Did someone kill her?"

"There were six Victors that year because of the rebellion. The rebel team rescued three of us from the arena and set the rebellion into motion. Mags luckily wasn't killed by a person. She was killed by part of the arena that the Gamemakers had set up. We found out that District 13 had been destroyed on the ground, but underground, they'd rebuilt and lived in secret for seventy five years. The other three who didn't get rescued by the rebels were retrieved by the Capitol, and they were taken and tortured. They also took the Victors who remained in the Districts to the Capitol," I pause to make a gesture toward Annie, "and anyone else they suspected of knowing about the rebellion, and tortured them as well. I look down at my daughter and see that she too is crying.

"But you didn't die." She says, reaching up and touching Annie's leg. Annie manages to smile at her. Cali moves from the floor to curl up on the other side of Annie, and I move my arms so that Annie can comfort her daughter.

"I was rescued. Along with two of the other Victors who were taken from the arena." Annie chokes out.

"We found that we were safe in District 13, and I didn't have to take orders from the Capitol anymore, so we were able to get married and be together."

"Why would the Capitol do all those terrible things? Weren't they trying to protect the people?" Cile asks. I see the anger on his face.

"That's what they wanted people to believe. That's what most people did believe. But few of us actually knew what their secret motives were. They enjoyed watching us suffer."

"What happened after you got married?" Cile asks, wanting to hear more.

"They set up teams of people that they trained to fight in the war. I was one of their main soldiers because I'm a Victor. When they finally let us out, finally let us go to the Capitol to fight, we'd only been married for two months. My squad left with thirteen soldiers. Of the thirteen, by the end of the rebellion, only six of us were still living, and of the six of us, we were all in critical condition and we all almost died." I roll the pant leg of my right leg up to show them a scar.

"You both asked about this when you were younger. I told you that I got cut from a sharp stick in the ocean because at the time, neither of you were old enough for this conversation. The Capitol was famous for their mutts. They took ordinary animals, and made them into killing monsters. Most of my squad was killed by these mutts. They were lizards with very sharp, very deadly claws. If they managed to catch you, they took your head straight off your body. I was climbing up the ladder to escape them, and they caught me. As they sunk their claw into my leg, one of the squad members pulled me up off the ladder and then threw a bomb at them. I almost lost this leg. I had to learn how to walk on it again because of the damage that the claws did to the inside of it." Cile shakes his head.

"I can't imagine what it must have been like," he says sadly.

"Terrible. When I finally was reunited with your mother, I found that if I had died, you would have grown up just you and your mom, and you princess, wouldn't exist."

"So, I was born while you were gone to fight the war in the Capitol?" he asks.

"I didn't know that she was pregnant until after you were born. It's a lot to think about son. To imagine how much different your life would be if you didn't have me or Cal." He nods his head. I see he's trying to imagine life with just Annie, but he comes up short.

"I can't believe that it actually happened to you guys. It explains a lot of the things that I've always grown up just accepting and not questioning about you." He says, looking more at Annie than me. He looks as though he wants to get up and hug Annie, but Cali's still attached to her.

"I'm sorry that you had to hear about the Games from the school before we told you. We just wanted to wait until both of you were old enough to hear about what happened to us." I say. I stand up and stretch for a moment before extending my hand to my son. He takes it, and I pull him up into a hug. He's quiet for a moment, and he doesn't pull away as quickly as he normally would.

"I love you dad." He says where only I can hear him.

"I love you too Cile."

"Daddy, are you glad the Hunger Games are over?" Cali asks.

"More than anyone will ever know. The extinction of the Hunger Games means that I get to live a happy life with the three of you. It means that your mother is my one and only. It means that I don't have to face either of you being thrown into the arena. Trust me, if the Games still existed, both of you would be reaped at one point or another just because of the status I held in the Capitol. They didn't like me very much, and I didn't like them very much either. I didn't like how they held people like your mother over my head. If they wanted me to do something, I had to do it or they'd kill her."

"What about our grandparents?" Cali asks. She's always wanted a grandmother to spoil her like her friends grandmothers spoil them.

"My dad died from a heart attack I believe. My mom died from an oil tank fire."

"My parents both died trying to protect me. They took my dad away after the 75th Hunger Games reaping and he never returned. They killed my mother in front of me as they took me away to be held captive in the Capitol." Annie sniffles.
"I couldn't imagine watching you die," Cile says.

"Come here Cal," I say to my daughter. She gets up and I wrap her in my arms. Cile sits down in her former place.

"I love you mommy," he says. He stopped calling her mommy when he was nine. He's called her mom for the last few years. Just the name starts Annie crying again as she pulls him into her arms.

"I love you too my little boy," I see on his face that he doesn't like being called that, but he's not going to say anything right now.

"In a few more years, I have videos of our Games. When you're older, if you want to, you can watch them." I say.

"You have the videos?" Annie asks.

"Hidden. Not even you could find them. I hid them from you anyways. I know you wouldn't want to keep them. I got them from Paylor." Annie's not happy about this, and I know I'll probably hear about it later, but for tonight at least, she'll let it go. Cali yawns.

"Bed time princess?" I ask her. She wraps her arms around me tighter.

"I don't want to."

"Come on, I'll tuck you in." she sighs, and then let's go of me and moves to hug and kiss her mother.

"I love you mommy."

"I love you baby girl." I follow my daughter up the stairs to her room. When she's tucked into her bed, she asks me yet another question.

"Is the Capitol better now? They're not going to hurt us because they want you to do something are they?"

"No. I won't let them use me like they used me before, and I won't let them touch you. But the president, she's a Hunger Games Victor too. She knows what it was like, and she knows what they did. She changed Panem for the better. You're perfectly safe sweetheart. Don't worry about it. What you heard tonight are things that happened to us before you and Cy were even thought about. Things are better now. Get some sleep. I love you princess."

"I love you too daddy."