3. Hope, Love and Happiness

I gave them both a smile. "Mister..?"

"Ben Dawson," he told me. "Please just call me Ben."

I nodded. "Good morning, Sara. I'm Doctor Black. How are feeling?" She had a worn-out expression on her face, but smiled. "I feel fine. Since Ben is here," she smiled at him happily. Usually I would be happy about their love, today I felt jealous. I swallowed. I had no right to feel jealous.

"Since when are you awake?" Knock the jealousy off.

"Since ten minutes or so," Ben replied. "I would have called the nurse soon."

I nodded, smiling. "Sara, I would like to talk to you about your current situation. Do you want Ben to leave while I explain everything to you?" She shook her head. "He doesn't have to leave, does he?"

"No. Well, Sara, do you feel your legs?" She looked at me confused. Then a shocked expression was on her face. She tried to understand.

I signed unhappily. "Can you move your legs? Maybe your toes?" After a moment, she shook her head.

"Why?" She whispered.

"Sara, you had an accident. I'm really sorry to say this, but we think it's a rare case of paraplegia. We will make a few tests with you, okay?"

She nodded, clearly still shocked. Ben looked at her worried. I could understand him; she seemed so calm, so under control. But I could see the panic, the horror, in her eyes. I assumed she just didn't want Ben to see her pain. Maybe she didn't even realize what it meant to be paralyzed down the waist.

I'm so sorry, I thought, but you'll find out soon, Sara.

I took a deep breath. "I will call a nurse. We have to make a blood test. Ben, could I please talk to you for a moment?"

"Yeah … I will be right back," he told Sara, then followed me outside. Standing on the corridor, he gave me a hopeless look. "Doctor Black, what can I do? How … how can I possibly help her? She'll never walk again!" He ran a hand through his thick brown hair.

I felt really sorry for him. He had to feel hopeless, devastated, helpless. And he was thinking the accident was his fault – that couldn't be helping, either.

"I want to be there for her, I really do. I love her. But she wouldn't let me. She keeps pushing me away. She won't tell me what happened that day. She knows that I feel guilty. It doesn't matter to her." He murmured, looking down.

"She is confused right now. Maybe she needs just time," I said, hoping it would make him feel better. "We don't know what happened before the accident, but we will have to find out. We will find out, please be patient, okay?" I glanced at him. He didn't respond at my words but continued his staring at the ground.

"She was so … happy. So full of life. She was always full of energy… and now…" He looked up. "I have to leave in three weeks. Three days ago we had a big argument because of that. I have to go to France to work there. For two months. How can I leave her?" His eyes were full of sadness. "How can I convince her that I'm not still here because I feel sorry for her? How can I make her believe that I love her, no matter what?"

"I'm sorry. I'm doing bodies, not hearts… I also thought I would love someone and he would love me back. I wanted to marry him. He cheated on me; I didn't talk to him since that… I'm not even sure if he knows that I know. Looks like I'm not too good at relationships, either, huh?" I gave him a lopsided smile.

He stared at me. "How-how could you go on? How can you stand in front of me and look - look like you are sure that everything will work out?"

I looked at the ground. Was this the expression I made? To be calm and in control? "I don't know if everything will work out or what the future brings. But I think everyone will find love and hope eventually. Maybe not today and not tomorrow, but at least one day. I'm not sure. I can only hope, and I do hope. Of course we have to work to reach our goals and nobody said that living is easy or life is fair. But there is always a chance to take."

Ben seemed to be lost in thoughts. No one else stood on the corridor now, we were alone. "Even for Sara?"

I nodded. "There is a small chance that she'll be able to walk again. It is more likely that she won't through – but why not try? You never know. And I truly believe she will be happy again, walking or not."

He seemed to be delighted. "Thank you, Doctor Black," he whispered hoarsely. I just nodded and smiled. "Go back to Sara, I'll call a nurse." He nodded and hurried into her room. Through the window I could see them smiling and laughing. Hope, love and happiness are everywhere, even in a little room on the ward four, Woodberry Hospital, Honolulu.

Later that day I was lying on my bed, lost in memories about Jack and me. Like the day we met the first time; I was running in the park, listening to music and didn't watch out, so I ran into him. He helped me up and asked me if I was OK and we talked a bit more. I gave him my number and one week later he called and asked me on a date. I said 'no' and told him I didn't want a relationship. He said it was fine and he just wanted to be my friend then. Back then I knew no one in all of Honolulu and was happy to have someone to talk to. He helped me be happy again after mom's death. After a time we had a few very funny dates and I enjoyed every second of them.

Beep, beep, beep…

I picked my cell phone up. "Hello?"

"Becca? This is Rachel."

"Rachel!" I squealed. "How are you? How are things going in La Push?"

She chuckled. "Couldn't be better," she said.

I rolled my eyes. "Mind giving me details?"

"Well, yeah, Jake's still an idiot," she told me. I chuckled. "But you wouldn't believe it! Paul's so hot!!"

"Paul?" I asked. I didn't remember a Paul.

"Paul. Friends with Embry and Quil – you remember them, don't you?"

I did remember Embry. He had always been a cute, shy boy, and he was my best friend. Quil was very funny and always telling a bad joke. "Yeah," I told her. "So are you and this Paul together?"

"Hell yes!" She shouted happily. I had to smile.

"Great. What does Jake think?" I grinned. Jake had always been a very over-protective little brother.

"Argh, let him think," Rachel moaned. "I don't care. He'll come around."

"Probably," I agreed.

"Back to you," my sister pointed out. "Has Jack asked you to marry him yet?"

I swallowed. "He did. I told him I needed time."

"Why?"

"Because it didn't feel right. And we're not together anymore."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sis. What happened?" Rachel asked softly.

"He-He cheated on me," I told her, my voice cracked at the end a bit. Shit.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated. "He didn't deserve you. Told you he's an asshole."

Sure, sure. Rachel thought – like everyone else who knew about Jack and me – that we were made for each other. "What do you do now?" She asked me.

"Go on with my life," I said without thinking. What else would I do?

"You know that your family is always there for you," she said quietly.

"Yeah. That's the reason why you called me when you and Paul got together," I said sarcastically in a harsh tone.

Rachel stayed quiet. I knew she felt guilty; I was her twin. I signed and spoke with a softer voice. "I know that you want to be there for me, and believe me, I want to be there for you, too. Whenever you've got a problem, you can tell me. But you have to admit that we're not that close … and I still miss mom." A lump formed in my throat.

I looked at the ground.

Rachel spoke calm and softly. "I know, I miss her too… but I'm serious. I returned home and now I'm happy. Paul's my Prince Charming."

I shrugged. "I don't want another guy. I wanted Jack."

"Okay, you don't have to find your Prince Charming," she chuckled. "But here's family. Jake and Dad, then there are all the people we hung out with when we were little… You remember the times we made mud cakes with Jared, Embry and Quil?"

I laughed. "Of course!"

"Well, they're all here in La Push. You would have your old friends and your family back."

"Maybe."

Playlist:

Juli – November

A/N: Thank you for your reviews: TheCapillary, xxcharlie93xx, FunkyMonkey951, Ever Uley, leydyan22 & Sierra Clearwater

I'm sorry I did not mention you guys in the last chapter. Please forgive me! ;)

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In Liebe, lots of Love,

Becky.