Disclaimer. I don't own DN.
I don't know what I was doing with the ending of this. It probs could be put under the Short Yet Endless collection, but w/e. I feel it is unfinished so its here.
Matt and Mello. Matt's POV.
"Then what do you want me to do?" I sobbed into my hand. I had tried everything, I really had. Throwing away my pride, drowning myself in need and desire for him didn't work. Nor did staying beside him, being a devoted friend. Finding a balance between the two made him angry, and leaving was out of the option. I was not a lover, not a friend, and not a sex buddy.
Trying to find a way to please him started to make me crack. Trying to find what we have between us broke me. I couldn't think; I was no longer myself, no longer sane. I had lied for him, stole, killed, degraded myself, and never gained what I wanted.
Nothing, however, was enough to grant me my wish, my dream, the one thing in my life that could make me happy. All I wanted was you.
The knowledge finally set in, when you looked at me with jaded eyes, the blue starting to darken with anger. You didn't love me. You didn't need me. You didn't want me. I was only an annoying part of your past.
I broke completely down, trying to hide my scream by biting into my hand. The metallic taste burned my tongue, mixed with the salt from my tears. Because I couldn't leave you. No matter how much I hurt, if I was shot, stabbed, beaten, or abused by your hurtful words, I couldn't leave.
I didn't have a choice. If I left, I would choose to do it with a gun to my head rather than walk out the door. I would never allow myself that knowledge, that you were the one who drove me to my death.
So I cried, hopelessly, knowing that I would not be the cause of a smile that brightened your face.
You had forgotten how to smile years ago.
Yet again I was thrown away, abandoned by those who I love. It was never enough for their love back though.
