We never talk about what he told me that day on the cliffs - in our spot. The official story is exactly what my dad had told him. His father shot his mom and tried to run. She used the last of her strength to shoot him in order to protect Paul in case the bastard wanted to come back. No one questioned my dad in Forks. Besides, it was well known that Jeremy Lahote was an asshole.

Yeah, I said asshole. Hanging out with Paul has given me a severe case of potty-mouth. I almost said "shit" in front of my dad the other day. Charlie just raised his eyebrow like he knew I had been close to slipping up.

Now I'm sitting at our spot with lunch in my backpack, waiting for Paul. Billy let me and my dad know that Paul was rotating between his and Harry's for dinner. Some other families, like the Calls, have made him frozen meals for the nights he stayed home. Billy also informed us that Paul's mom had an overnight shift at some motel on the state road that led to Port Angeles so he was used to being alone at night.

Plopping down beside me on the old blanket Billy lent me, Paul breaks me out of my musings. He snatches the well-worn copy of Pride and Prejudice out of my hand. He rolls his eyes at me. "You're such a chick."

I glare at him before snatching it back. "I'm glad you can tell the difference. Here, I made you turkey this time."

He reaches into his own bag and pulls out a couple of cans of soda. "Glad they're cold this time." Last time, he put them in his bag in the morning and by the time we had lunch they were warm. It was gross.

He takes a huge bite and proceeds to speak with his mouth full. "Aww, screw you, Bells. I said I was sorry. Hey, where were you yesterday?"

I wait until I swallow down the food in my mouth to respond. "I told you. My dad took Jake and me to the movies in Port Angeles." The switch in his mood is immediate. I shove his shoulder. "Knock it off. I told you that you could have come with us."

He shrugs and inhales the rest of the sandwich. "Why would I want to go anywhere with that pussy kid?"

I look at him and he looks out towards the water. I bite my lip, knowing this can end very badly. We've been hanging out together for the past three weeks pretty much every day. Even when I don't come to La Push, he rides his bike an hour each way to come see me in Forks. I have to leave to go back to Phoenix in less than a month and I don't want him to be alone when I'm gone. I already decided that I want to spend Christmas in Forks, even though it's Renee's turn. Paul needs me more.

I speak softly, as if he's a wounded animal and I don't want to spook him. "He's not a pussy. And, gosh, that's such an ugly word. He's a good kid and he's the same age as you."

He growls out, "Want me to date him, Bella?"

I giggle. "No, but I think the two of you would or could become friends."

He snorts. "Why the hell would I want to be friends with him?"

He stands and I'm afraid he's going to run off. I get up and follow him to the edge. He picks up some small rocks and chucks the entire handful. I let go of the breath I'm holding and continue. "Because he, out of all people, understands."

He whirls on me. Some of that anger the grown-ups talk about flashing on his face. Only with me is he ever calm they tell me. Not now, however. "Understands? What the fuck would he understand? He didn't see his mom killed!"

I get in his face. "Yes, yes, he did!" His mouth shuts and I can see the anger disappear.
"A drunk driver killed his mom! He saw her in some sterile hospital bed as she took her last breath. Yeah, it wasn't his dad that did it, but it was just as senseless and hurt just as much. So screw you, Paul, for being such a jerk when all I want is to help you!"

He grabs my hand, preventing me from running away like I want. I look at him and we just stare at each other for the briefest of moments. "Why? Why do you want to help me, Bella?"

I'm at a loss. What can I say? I can't tell him about how I ran to him that night. I can't tell him that each moment I'm not with him I worry and think about him constantly. I decide on a less obsessive stalker version of the truth. "I don't want you to be alone when I'm gone. I don't want you to get lost in all that pain."

He lets go of my hand. In this moment, we're not gangly teenagers. We're on the cusp of adulthood. That night three weeks ago changed something in the both of us.

He nods. "I don't want that either."

That very night my dad finds me on the beach by Billy's with Jake and Paul, collecting seashells for my mom.

Much love to my Accounting Diva beta, krystal214. :) She keeps me correct with her awesomeness.