Humanoid Typhoon?

Disclaimer: I don't own neither the universe nor the characters of BTVS or Trigun and claim no rights. This story thought is nothing more but a fiction of mine imagination.

Buffy was sitting in a saloon, staring at her drink and nibbling at her chips. A jazz music was playing. But there were few customers. The barkeeper was polishing the glasses.

"Two weeks has passed and where am I? On the Earth? Nooo…. I have to be stuck on this Gunsmock planet. Who would give it such name anyway? I need to get back to Dawn! I can't be sitting here doing nothing. Why am I here anyway? That must be PTB doing, as soon as Whistler shows up I will kick his demonic ass to those suns and back."

Buffy was wearing a pair of black pants, a red topic and a black cloak with its hood on. A big sack was set on the floor (I know it's not exactly her style but bear with me for a time being). She didn't want to attract too much attention to her persona.

"I don't get it. Why was I sent here…? I still have my slayers powers but I haven't seen or sensed a single vamp in here, it's getting dull. Those two weeks were plain boring, I should've moved to another city days ago."

The doors to the saloon opened and in walked a tall blond man in his middle twenties. He was dressed in a long red coat and was wearing yellow sunglasses. As he passed Buffy and sat at her left, she felt her spider senses go off and tensed.

"Hey! Can I have a shot of whisky and a hamburger?" asked the man taking off his shades. Bartender put a glass in front of him and filled it up, then went to the kitchen. Meanwhile Buffy started to measure up the newcomer. He was quite an attractive man. As Cordelia would have put "hello salty goodness", but what drew Buffy's attention was the feeling his presence caused.

(He doesn't give an evil vibe, but there is something unusual about him, I just can't put my finger on it.)

"Ah! I am alive!" Said the blond, drinking the contents of the glass and knocking it on the counter.

Buffy was so consumed by her thoughts that she jumped a little at the sudden action. (Jeez! I'm getting jumpy.)

"Oh, sorry, man, I didn't mean to startle you. I'm Eriks by the way."
He said smiling rather goofy. That smile reminded Buffy of Xander.

She smiled a little to herself, mumbled "it's okay" and returned to her drink. The hood still hid her features. At that time the bartender returned with the sandwich and put it in front of the guy and walked outside to through some rubbish.

Buffy's thoughts were drifting to the matter of returning home, when she caught bits of two men's discussion, who were sitting in the darker corner of the room.

"Yeah. They say the man with $$60 billion on his head showed up in Dankin Town. Didn't you hear?"

"So what happened?"

"They say the town got wasted! Dankin was buried in corpses the coffin maker got so rich he built himself a mansion made of wood!"

"That's nuts! But what were expecting, messing with Vash is like waltzing with death!"

The Blond man seemed to tense up but Buffy didn't notice it, she was digesting the information she heard.

"Buried in corpses you say?" She asked turning to face them.

"That's what you get crossing the path with Humanoid Typhoon."

"Humanoid Typhoon? Never heard of him. What's the deal with him? Is he your Big Bad?"

The red coated man turned his head her way. (She doesn't know?) Others just looked with widen eyes.

"Never heard of him? Where did you fall from, the 5th Moon? His name is Vash the Stampede. He kills women and children, and picks off any town he pleases. Every town that he steps into gets destroyed. Some thinks he is not even human."

(Not human, huh? That's my cue! I have got myself a winner. All I need to do is to get rid of this Big Bad, book a ticket to the Earth and be on my way. Yay!) Buffy's thoughts were abruptly stopped by the crash outside and a squeak of the waiter who was throwing away the garbage.

"What the…?" Everybody turned to the door. The men took out their guns in caution.

Suddenly the firing broke out. Buffy and the blond guy jumped over the counter, while other visitors hid behind the tables.

"Why does it always happen to me?" whined at the same time both blonds and shared a look. Then turned to the whimpering bartender.

"Any idea of what is it about?"

Before they could get the answer, the bullets penetrated the walls and broke all the bottles. The red coated stranger pulled out a gun; Buffy at the same time took out the knives, she had bought after getting the money. And started throwing them at the attackers. The guy next to her was shooting. Both were only disarming the gangsters, not aiming for the kill.

Suddenly the bullet flew by Buffy's head. Thanks to the slayer reflexes she had time to move and it only grazed her cheek, she hid behind the stand.

"Are you alright? Did they hurt you?" Asked her partner in crime with worry in his voice, trying to see if she was hurt. "You are good with the knives by the way."

"I'm peachy! The stupid hood doesn't help thought."

In all the turmoil Buffy didn't have time to get it off and seizing the opportunity took it off facing the guy.

"Are YOU okay? You kinda look… strange." Buffy was confused a bit by the expression on his face. The guy had his mouth open and stared at her with some dreamy look. She snapped her fingers a couple of times to get his attention.

"Anybody home?"

"Oh! Young lady! Sitting alone in a saloon or traveling alone in the desert can be very perilous! If you act now, you can hire your own bodyguard free of charge, what do you say?" He asked slithering his way as close to her as possible and smiling a radiant smile.

"Huh? What the hell are you talking about?" At the precise moment a shot whizzed between them.

"Ok, I've got a plan: you cover me while I do stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah, think I might try some violence. Watch my back!"

"What?!W-wait!" But those words fell on daft ears as Buffy had already jumped over the bar stand and was running to hide behind the column that was close to the door.

"Who is that girl?" The gunman whispered to himself. He saw that one man with a beard was trying to get a shot at her.

"Hey, Mr. Bandit?! Over here!" He distracted the man and shot him in the arm.

The slayer meanwhile was dodging the bullets and knocking out the bad guys.

(She's good. And very fast.)