Chapter 2: Abandoned

I sometimes underestimated Hayley's powers of distraction. Her idea to go to dinner and a movie sounded lame, like it would barely keep my mind off of Jacob, but it seemed to work. For a little while at least. She checked in regularly with me over the last few weeks to see how I was doing, since it was going on five weeks now since Jacob disappeared.

Hayley claimed that summer was flying. I begged to differ, and when she saw my expression, she realized as much.

"Crap, sorry," she said, smacking herself in the forehead. "I know how hard it is for you, but…damn that loser! How can he do this to you?"

And we had been doing so well with avoiding this topic. It was bound to come up sometime, so why not now?

"Hayley—"

"I knew he was trouble from the moment I saw him last year. He had been fine up until he had his stupid growth spurt or whatever—"

"Hayley," I tried again.

"—probably steroids, right? I mean, that was what Sean always suspected but I never believed him. Don't those cause mood swings too? Maybe that's what this is to him, some kind of game or something that he thinks he can pull because he's 'depressed.' What a load of—"

"Hayley!"

Her green eyes widened, a few people around the restaurant also looking my way. I buried my head in my arms and sighed as she sputtered apologies. She was just rambling because she was angry; she didn't actually think of Jacob that way. Or maybe she did, since he was causing so much heartache and didn't even bother to call me back. A ten second voicemail would suffice.

"How long has it been now? Five weeks, close to six?" she asked after a moment of silence. I fought the urge to groan. "If my boyfriend hadn't called by now, I would have said adios."

"It's not that simple." My words were muffled in my arms.

"Why not? I know you care for the guy, but you haven't been dating that long, right?"

I lifted my head to glare at her coldly, startling her. "It doesn't matter how long or how little we've been dating," I practically hissed. "The only thing that matters is how close we've become."

She glanced to the side. "I wouldn't say you've gotten too close lately, especially this last month."

I rolled my eyes. Saying anything now would be pointless. One thing I loved and hated about Hayley was how she spoke her mind, though I felt differently under certain circumstances. Like now, I felt a bit of both; I loved her for being honest, but I hated her because she was right. Jacob deserted me and left me to deal with so much on my own—the aftermath of my father's abuse, my mother's recovery, and the upcoming divorce between the two. On top of that, there was Bella and Edward's wedding.

"Has he contacted anyone else?" Hayley asked softly, chewing on a fry. "What's that girl's name again? Bella?"

"Not her," I said with a small shake of my head. I twirled my straw around my glass. "She's one of the last people he probably wants to talk to. She's the reason he ran away."

"Because of a wedding invitation?" She laughed without humor. "That's ridiculous. He has you now. What does it matter what she does?"

"She's practically his sister. They made mud pies when they were little. That's bonding at its best."

"And he doesn't like Edward because…?"

My blue eyes locked onto her instantly, and she stared at me, waiting for an answer. But I couldn't give her one. At least, not the truth.

"It's complicated," I managed.

"Uh-huh…"

"Edward left Bella a lot like"—I closed my eyes at the sudden realization—"a lot like Jacob just now left me. She was heartbroken and Jacob was the only one who could help her. He made her feel whole again, and now she's running back to the person who caused her harm in the first place. That has to feel like a sense of betrayal, you know?"

"Guess so." Hayley tilted her head slightly as she looked at me. "But…isn't that what Jacob's doing to you?"

I stared at her in silence, not knowing how to respond. Jacob was doing the same thing Edward did to Bella in the past, wasn't he? I knew that much, but…would I be the person Jacob despised? The kind of person who waltzed back to someone who crushed them?

I didn't want to be like that, ever. From an outside perspective, I saw Bella as stupid for running back to Edward so easily. But…it was different with Jacob and me; we were bound together, while Edward and Bella weren't.

"Sarah?"

I blinked. "Hm?"

"You okay?" Hayley asked.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat at the question. Any time someone asked me that, I lost it. I fought the tears this time, my hands curling into fists. "Yeah," I replied quietly. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Hayley obviously didn't believe me, but she kept her thoughts to herself. We split the bill and left the restaurant, starting toward her Jeep. We didn't have very far to walk, but as we were, I spotted a flyer that Charlie hung up on a telephone pole. I looked away instantly.

. . . . . . . . . .

Hayley was disappointed with me on the way back home. We paid to see an animated movie, which she hoped would cheer me up, but it hadn't worked. If anything, a zombie apocalypse movie would have been more fitting; I was practically the monster itself. If that were the case, at least Jacob and I would have been a little closer. Monster and monster, together forever.

As if. At this rate, my love life was a tragedy.

"How about we do each other's nails when we get home? Oh! We can play a board game with my siblings if you want." Hayley smiled over at me, being a great best friend, but I could barely meet her gaze. I wanted nothing more than to go home, get in my bed, and sleep. If that didn't work, staring at the wall would suffice. "Sarah Elizabeth," she whined. "Would you just smile already? Just a little bit?"

This caught my attention. She actually expected me to smile? Who did she think she was talking to?

"The more you beg, the more I begin to hate you," I muttered. She whacked me in the arm.

"Shut up! You know you love me, or else you wouldn't have let me drag you to dinner and a movie. Girls' night out and all that." She turned a corner, her house just ahead. "I'm serious about the board games, though. You did mention that you loved Clue once."

"Yeah, but those are mysteries I can actually solve."

Hayley put the car in park, the two of us now just outside her house. I glanced over at my car. If I was quick, I could make a run for it. Before I could even lift a hand, Hayley locked the doors.

Damn it.

"You've barely talked to me the entire way home," she started. Her head tilted, her copper hair falling over her shoulder. "You know I'm here for you. I wouldn't be trying so hard if it wasn't true."

"I know," I sighed.

"Then what's the deal? Is it because I'm not helping you put up the flyers?"

"No."

"Did we not hang out enough the past couple weeks? I know you had a tough time with your mom lately, and you-know-who certainly didn't help things. Maybe I should have been over more to keep you company or distract you or something."

"No, it's not that."

"Then what is it?"

I pushed my hair away from my face, holding my hand against my forehead as I leaned against the door. "I'm scared, okay?" I finally admitted. "I'm scared that my boyfriend either doesn't give a damn about our relationship or he's hurt. He won't call me back, he won't even write me a damn email, and he won't come home. On top of that, my dad's in jail, my mom just got over an extreme case of paranoia, and my summer has completely sucked." I turned my head, meeting Hayley's gaze. "Tell me again why I should be smiling."

She looked away, her lips tightly shut. Apparently I made my point. We sat in the car for another few minutes before she unlocked the doors. "…If you want, you're free to go home."

"I know that if I go home, I'll do nothing but sulk," I admitted. "Then again, what's the difference? I'm doing it anyway."

"Maybe you just need to rest. You said yourself that you haven't gotten much sleep lately."

"I have nightmares every time I sleep. Those aren't exactly peaceful."

"Then what do you want to do, Sarah?" Hayley asked, exasperated. I stared at her, wide-eyed. "Nothing seems to be good enough for you anymore. Is Jacob the only person that can make you happy?"

"N-no…"

"I hang out with you whenever I'm not babysitting. We go to a movie and dinner and do the whole girls' night out thing like we're supposed to at sixteen," she said. "We even have girl talk, which is supposed to make things so much easier! That's what's normal with girls our age, you know? We vent and we feel better. That's how it's supposed to be."

"My life isn't exactly normal, okay?" I retorted.

"Why, because you're a victim to domestic abuse? That's so common nowadays."

I was shocked she even said that. It was like she didn't even care that my family was suffering. "That's not what I was talking about, but you're right," I said, keeping calm, just like I often advised Jacob. I was a victim, even if not directly.

One of Hayley's eyebrows lifted in question. "Then what were you talking about?"

I looked away instantly, knowing that I couldn't go any farther with this. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, fighting the urge to scream. Damn Jacob! As much of a blessing as I knew he could be, right now it felt as if he was torturing me. Why did he have to abandon me?

"…I've gotta go," I murmured, climbing out of the jeep. Hayley said my name before she was cut off by the door.

I wordlessly walked to my car, got in, and drove off. There was no specific destination in mind; I just drove. How many times had I done this lately? I was blowing so much money by wasting gas like this, but what else was I supposed to do? I wasn't really that comfortable at home; there were too many memories. Going to Jacob's was a definite no. Sam and Emily's house was off-limits for the same reason. There were too many memories here. Maybe I should have just gone back to Bunny and Pops'.

"Shit!" I slammed on my brakes and skidded to a halt. I was so busy sulking that I neglected to pay attention to the road. Following a bend, I'd barely had enough time to react to the roadblock in front of me.

Standing in the middle of the road were multiple shirtless men and one woman dressed in a tank top and shorts. It was the wolf pack, I soon realized. I breathed heavily in fright as I stared at them all, wide-eyed. "What the hell?" I said to myself, unbuckling my seatbelt and exiting the car. I stepped around the door, many dark eyes following my every move. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Sarah," Seth said, taking a step forward. "Listen, we're all worried about you. We don't want—"

"What Seth is trying to say," Leah interrupted, "is that you need to stop wallowing in your misery and wait for Jake to come back."

I instantly glared at her. She was just like Hayley with her honesty. "Sorry?"

"Leah," Sam warned lowly, glancing over at the young woman, who rolled her eyes. He then turned to me. "You know our connection with one another as a pack. You can assume what we've gathered from Seth's thoughts."

Right. My misery, as Leah put it.

"What is this, an intervention?" I asked. They couldn't be serious.

"You kinda need one." Embry was there too, not that I had really looked at him recently. He was the same, though his hair was longer; it had grown over the past five or six weeks. Quil's too.

"You have your bond with Jacob and I have mine," I said, looking at all of them. "I'd like to believe mine's a bit stronger…"

"It is," Sam said with a nod. "No bond is as strong as that with an imprint. But what your bond is lacking is faith."

"Faith?"

Quil stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You don't believe in Jake. As his imprint, you should, more than any of us." He gestured to the pack with his eyes.

"We know that you're worried Jake's got strong feelings for Bella," Leah said, arms crossed over her chest. The attitude she wore was present in her posture, but her eyes seemed to hold a bit of sympathy. Perhaps she could relate. "But like my brother told you, he feels that way towards you now. Bella's like family, like all of us." She shrugged. "He's got stronger ties to you than he will to anybody."

"That's exactly right," Sam agreed. I was positive that he could relate; he did imprint on Emily, who was now his fiancée.

He approached me, and as I stood there, knees locked and eyes hard, he didn't hesitate putting his hands on my shoulders. The warmth was similar to Jacob's, but it wasn't the same—not nearly as comforting. But Sam's touch did remind me of him, and I closed my eyes, pretending it was Jacob in front of me. The warm smile and gentle eyes, the security that came with them... I missed it. As soon as Sam spoke, however, the image of the boy I longed for disappeared.

"Jacob's bond with you is special, and if I know Jake like I think I do, he's thinking of you at this very second," he continued. "In fact, you're all he's thinking about. Distance between a pack member and his imprint is a weakness. We ache. Given the amount of time he's been gone, Jacob's hurting just as much as you are."

Sam's declaration encouraged tears, which were forming when I was driving. He only made it worse, to the point where I had to fight my quivering lip. "…Then why isn't he coming home?" I asked weakly.

"I heard his thoughts," Sam assured me. "We all did. He needs time to cool down. Bella's wedding is something he hates to think about. Seeing the invitation only reminded him of what's to come."

"What, that he might have to hurt her if she becomes one of them?"

"Yes." The alpha nodded. "The treaty would be broken if that were to happen. We're all upset by it, but there's nothing we can do until the Cold One poses a threat to Bella. Right now, that's not the case. Jacob knows that. His emotions are intensified because of his bloodline, but he'll calm down. That, I can assure you."

"Besides," Seth said, coming up to join Sam by my side, "Jacob wouldn't miss Bella's wedding for the world. She's his best friend! Of course he's gonna be there! If he's not home early, you can bet on seeing him then."

I gazed at Seth in silence. His brown eyes were genuine, full of hope. He wanted to see Jacob too; the two of them were pretty close. He really meant what he said, and I couldn't help but lift a hand to set on his arm, no longer restricted by Sam's warm grasp on my shoulders. "Thank you, Seth."

"You bet!"

A tear trickled down my cheek just then, and I hastily wiped it away before any of the guys or Leah could say anything. They would remember this and show it to Jacob, whenever he came back. It sucked that I still doubted he would return soon, but Bella and Edward's wedding was only a few weeks away. I could last until then…maybe.

"Why don't you come join us for dinner?" Sam offered gently. The proposal was one I didn't expect, but it was generous. Like he said, I was family now, which meant I was welcome to join them any time I wanted. "I'm sure Emily would be happy to see you after all this time."

I hadn't been there in about six weeks now. She probably was concerned, given her motherly nature.

"I've already eaten," I revealed, my voice lacking any strength. I rubbed under my eye again to rid the moisture from my face. "My friend Hayley took me to dinner earlier."

"Then come by to at least hang out with us," Seth chimed in, glancing at Sam briefly for approval. The older man shrugged. "C'mon, please? I'll even ride there with you, if that's okay."

I wasn't sure of whom he was asking permission, Sam or me. As if I could refuse Seth; he was too genuine and sweet to turn down. Upon hearing Sam say it was alright, I knew who he was truly asking. Sam directed the others to head back to his place while Seth made his way to the passenger seat. As I returned to my car, I caught the multiple transformations from human to wolf. A memory flashed before my eyes, one of Jacob phasing as he ran away from me, and I gripped the edge of my car door in pain.

I don't know how Bella went so many months without Edward at her side. It had only been a little over a month and I was suffering, nearly suffocating from the darkness that seemed to surround me, even in daylight. I didn't have my sun.

"Sarah?"

I blinked, turning my head and seeing Seth leaning over the center console. My ability to daydream had increased greatly since Jacob's disappearance, which was probably unhealthy. Regardless, Seth and the others were around to keep me occupied. Well, the pack at least. It was sad, really, how much I wanted to get away from my human friends and so desperately sought the company of the wolves.

They were a connection to Jacob, I then realized. The hole in my chest was almost complete when I was with them, but only for a moment. As soon as I returned to solitude, the hole returned, as deep and dark as an abyss. Then again, thoughts like that were only making matters worse. All I had to do until Jacob came home was stay distracted. It would happen one way or another.

But what, or shall I say who, would be my distraction?


A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Put it on Alert for future updates! Oh, and please Review. :)