3

I couldn't be in our room anymore. There were memories of him everywhere I looked, and it was causing me actual physical pain to be around all of the things that reminded me of him. I went as far away as I could from all of it, without leaving the house. I couldn't even imagine leaving the house. For some reason I kept thinking that Edward was going to come home any moment now. What if he came and I wasn't there? So I couldn't leave the house.

I went into the guest room and sat there. But that framed painting of the country-side that hung next to the wardrobe, was painted by him. So I went into the guest bathroom. No reminders of him in here. Just plain, sterile-looking white tiles everywhere. I think that's when the full force of it all hit me, the emptiness. Because I just collapsed on the floor. I didn't cry, to be honest, I'm not sure I could have even if wanted to, and I'm not sure if I wanted to. I just lay there. Even in those sterile white tiles, I could see his face. And I just kept staring at the pale, so very pale, image that I imagined was there.

There was a ringing somewhere, a persistent, annoying ringing that itself didn't go away but made Ed- his image, disappear from the tiles.

I finally realized it was the kitchen phone ringing. Slowly, agonizingly, I got up and made to go downstairs. As I passed the hall clock, I saw it was a quarter to eight. The last time I spoke to Jacob was around 6 a.m. I'd been lying on the bathroom floor for almost two hours. But it didn't seem like that long to me. I went into the kitchen and picked up the phone.

"Bella, where the hell were you? I've called like three times already", came the rather frantic sound of Alice's voice.

It was then that I realized that I hadn't yet told anyone about what had happened.

"Bella are you listening? Where's Ed? Is he home? I've tried his cell a million times but it goes straight to voicemail. What's going on?" Alice said, all of it in one breath.

"Alice, I need you and Jasper to come over as soon as you can. Can you do that?" I said keeping my voice as calm as I could.

"Of course, it's Sunday. But Bella, what's going on?" she asked, suddenly alert.

"Something bad has happened, and I need to tell you this in person. So please," I said.

"Alright, we're coming over right now.' Her voice was full of apprehension as she said this and hung up.

The next thing I did was to call Charlie and tell him and Renée to come over as soon as they could. I told him it was bad news but I didn't tell him what. These things are best said face to face.

Then I took a deep breath and called Rosalie.

My sister Rosalie Swan-Hale and her husband Emmett Hale lived in Jacksonville. They'd gotten married straight out of high-school and had moved there last year after Emmett got a great job at a law firm there. Although Emmett was a lawyer, he looked nothing short of a pro-wrestler. He's huge and well-built and looked like an over-sized G. I. Joe action-figure, except that his hair was a curly bush instead of close-cropped. Of course Rose too looked like a super model instead of the housewife and mother of two-year old twins that she was.

The phone rang a couple of times before it was received.

"Hello", came my sister's voice; she sounded out of breath.

"Hey Rose." I said keeping my voice level, which was surprisingly easy.

"Bells. Hey, how are you?" she panted.

"Rose what's wrong? Are you alright?" and I almost laughed out loud at the irony of the situation. Here I was, calling my big sister to tell her that my husband was dead and instead I was asking her if she was fine.

"I'm fine. Just chasing Seth and Leah all over the house. Its bath time but those two seem to be in the mood for a game of Hide 'n' Seek. I tell you the older they're getting the more unmanageable they're becoming." She paused for breath. Noticing that I wasn't speaking she said, "Hey, why so glum, chum? Is everything alright?"

I didn't answer immediately. When I did I said, "No. nothing's alright."

"Bells what's going on?"

"Ed… came back from China yesterday." I started but couldn't finish. I was finding it hard to tell her this, she was just so soft. I wish I didn't have to tell her.

"That's good, right?" she asked, unsure.

"On his way back from the airport, from Seattle, he got into an accident on the highway, with another car."

"Oh my God! Is Edward alright?" Rose asked, her voice had already become unsteady.

"No." I said quietly. "The cars fell into a ditch at the side of the road. They've pulled the cars out but he wasn't in his car. They think he may have broken through the windshield and fallen down into the wooded area further down the ditch." I stopped to inhale deeply. How am I talking so calmly? Am I going mad to be talking so calmly in a situation like this?

"Bells! Oh my God, bells! Bella, oh God, I'm so sorry. Are you alright?" she choked out. From her voice I could tell she was tearing up.

"I'm- they've taken dogs to find hi- the body. They don't think he's alive anymore." I said avoiding her question.

"Oh God! We're coming over by the next flight", Rose said in between sobs.

That's what I was afraid of. This is hard enough as it is; I don't need the added burden of babysitting my elder sister along with this. "No, Rose, please don't. I can't handle this right now."

"Of course you can't. That's why you need someone with you right now." She wailed.

"No Rose, you need someone with you when you cope. I don't. I just need to be alone, please" I begged her.

"Bells, you're not thinking straight. You…"

I cut her off, "Rose, you know me. Please leave me be. If I need you, I'll call. Promise."

"But Bella…"

"Rose please. Just let me be", I yelled into the mouthpiece of the phone.

This seemed to knock some sense into her. "Okay, if that's what you want. But please, please call if you need me. I'll be there in a flash, okay? Promise?"

"Yeah, I will. Promise. Umm, I need to go. I haven't told the others yet. They'll be here soon." I said not wanting to talk anymore.

"Okay. You take care of yourself. Call me whenever you want to." She said.

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye." She said in a small voice.

As I put down the receiver of the phone I wondered if I really wanted to be alone. I still held the belief that Edward was still alive, while the circumstances, all of them, showed otherwise. Should I really be alone with a mindset like this?

One thing I knew for sure. As much as I loved my sister, she was the last person I wanted near me right now. Because instead of her comforting or consoling or taking care of me, I'd be the one comforting, consoling and taking care of her. And I knew I couldn't handle that.

After I spoke to Rose, I called Jacob. But there was no new news. They were still searching the woods with the dog-squad. Jacob said he'd let me know as soon as progress was made. I hung up and wondered what to do. The others would be hear soon and I'd have to go through the whole routine all over again. I couldn't help but let out a long breath and think, Lord help me!

About half an hour after I'd talked to Jacob, I heard two cars pulling up in front of the house almost simultaneously. The Whitlocks and Cullens have arrived. Time to face the music.

A/N: So here's Chapter 3. Thanks so much to all for sticking with me. I'm trying to be regular but my university schedule is killing me. And I know things are running a little dry but i promise the pace is going to pick up. hugs to all who review.