Wolf Girl


Chapter Three

Making Deals with Cops

With a casserole and homemade ice cream in hand, my mom forced her way into the Uley household on Tuesday night. I don't know if she noticed the fact that neither Mrs. Uley nor I looked like we were up for the dinner that she wanted, but that didn't stop her. Circles under the eyes and slouching postures meant nothing to my mom when she thought she was doing right. Of course, if she knew I had spent my night having a nervous break down in the woods she probably would have behaved differently, but I kept that to myself, so it was irrelevant. And so, she hauled my dad, Seth, and me into the house, kicked Mrs. Uley out of the kitchen, and had us all sit around in the living room while she and Regina set up for dinner.

Regina- Mrs. Uley's sister who I had only met a handful of times- noticed right away that we were all sitting there silently, looking a little dejected, so she suggested, "I have a pack of cards in my purse- You guys want to play a round of Go Fish or something?"

I imagined Sam sitting next to me, an arm casually slung behind me on the couch, laughing and rolling his eyes good-naturedly and saying, "Come on, Aunt Reg- Go Fish?" and she would laugh at his teasing her- because no matter what Sam did everyone loved him- and he would make everyone play anyway.

"Yeah," Dad nodded, trying to sound enthusiastic. "That sounds like fun."

Regina went to fetch the cards from her bag in the guest room, and as she went upstairs I gave my dad a look that clearly asked if he was out of his mind. Beside me on the couch, he nudged me with his elbow, and I rolled my eyes- not so good-naturedly as Sam would have.

"I wanna deal," Seth declared when Regina handed us the cards with a smile, before leaving us for the kitchen.

I marveled at my brother's elasticity and ignorant oblivion, taking the cards as he dealt them out on the coffee table.

"Youngest goes first," Dad said as soon as the cards had been arranged properly. "Seth?"

Seth turned to me- on his left- and said, "Got any fives?"

"Go fish," I said, feeling extremely perverse. Sam was missing, possibly hurt or dying, and we were playing Go Fish? Glancing at Mrs. Uley as Seth picked up a new card from the pile, I wondered if she was feeling as weird about this thing as I was.

"Lee," Seth prompted. "Your turn."

Straightening up slightly, I turned to my dad and said, "Got any queens?"

He made a mock attempt at being angry at me and then handed one over. I paired it with my queen of hearts and put them aside, feeling as if I was in some kind of bad dream.

"Dinner!" Mom called from the kitchen, just as a loud, authoritive knock sounded at the front of the house.

The room went completely silent as everyone looked to the front door. For a moment, I thought it was Sam, but then, clenching my cards in my hands, I realized that he wouldn't knock. Was it a cop then? I wondered. Was Chief Swan coming over to tell Mrs. Uley that they had found Sam's body?

I shook the thought away as Mrs. Uley stood, dropping her cards to the coffee table. Absently, I noticed that she had one pair of threes and one of jacks among the cards.

With Mrs. Uley opening the door, everyone- including Regina and my mother, who were standing in the doorway to the living room- watched as Chief Swan and another man, Officer Tate, came into view on the porch.

My heart started pounding in my throat and I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the words that were reverberating in my brain.

We're so sorry Mrs. Uley... His body was found...

"Charlie," my father said, placing his cards on the table as he stood up and went to Mrs. Uley's side.

"Hi there, Harry," Chief Swan said. "Mrs. Uley." He glanced at all of us staring at him from our positions in the living room, and said, "I'm sorry to interrupt your evening."

Mrs. Uley didn't seem to be capable of speaking anytime soon, so Dad said, "That's all right, Charlie. Come on in."

Charlie glanced at Mrs. Uley- as if for reassurance- before stepping inside the house with Officer Tate. Their figures were both strange and imposing in the living room- sticking out boldly in their uniforms, stark against the backdrop of the Uley home- and they looked around awkwardly, hardly meeting our eyes. And they didn't speak. We waited for the most unbearable stretch of a moment, but no one spoke. It drove me nuts. I could hear the oven fan whirring in the kitchen, and it practically frayed my nerves to pieces. Squeezing my cards in my hands- practically bending them in half- I glared at Charlie, willing him to speak.

Finally, after the two policemen had exchanged a glance, Charlie turned to Mrs. Uley- who was still standing near the front door. "First off, I just want to say that I don't want to get you too excited or too upset," he said. "Because what I'm about to tell you doesn't necessarily mean anything- but it might."

The cards were close to distruction and Seth knew it, because he deftly pried open my fingers and took them out of my hands. I didn't even spare him a glance, just grabbed his empty hand in mine and held onto it tightly.

"What is it, Charlie?" Dad asked.

Charlie looked around the room, and his eyes met mine for half a second, before he turned to Dad- the only person he probably felt safe speaking to- and said, "We found some disturbances near the perimeter of the woods behind the house- tracks, broken branches, dented bushes."

I clenched Seth's hand so hard he let out an involuntary- and mostly silent- yip, otherwise allowing me to abuse him.

"It could mean nothing," Charlie continued, looking at all of us around the room. "It's hard to tell when it happened- if it was from Thursday or yesterday morning- but there are indications that the tracks are coming from the house- they're pretty visible since the grass is muddy in the front yard."

"So what does that mean?" I heard myself asking, my voice hard and flinty.

Charlie hesitated. "We're not sure yet. It probably means that an animal caused the damage to the house- particularly with the scratches on the floor-"

"What kind of animal?" Mrs. Uley interjected next, springing to life right after I had.

Officer Tate and Charlie glanced at each other before Charlie said, "They look like maybe a dog's footprints- maybe a wolf or a coyote."

My blood ran cold and I shivered.

"Do you think some kind of dog came in here and dragged Sam from the house?" Mrs. Uley asked, her voice shaking. "What kind of wolf or coyote could break into a house and drag a full-grown boy into the woods?"

"Like I said, the tracks might be misleading- we need to do a little more research," Charlie replied.

I was on the edge of my seat when I said, "Do you have people in the woods right now?"

Officer Tate said, "We have a team of men out there-"

"Did you call the forest ranger?" Mrs. Uley asked.

"We're waiting to see if the boys can find anything-"

"You could cover more ground if you had the forest rangers helping you," I reminded them fiercely, letting go of Seth's hand to stand beside my dad and stare Charlie Swan square in the eye. "Why didn't you call the forest ranger on Thursday? Wouldn't that have made more sense?" I demanded.

"Leah," Dad said under his breath, warning me.

I ignored him.

"Well we're trying to see what we can find before we take each step," Charlie explained.

This made me shake my head. "But what if something happens to Sam before you decide to take your next step?" I asked, my voice hard and heavy.

"Leah," Mom said from the doorway of the dining room. "Honey, they're doing all they can-"

"Not if they're not calling the forest rangers right away!"

"What about the cops from the next county?" Mrs. Uley suggested. "Have you called them?"

"We really are doing all we can do-"

I cut across him again, saying, "Call the forest rangers- call the state troopers!- then you'll be doing all you can do!"

"We'll call in the forest ranger if our team finds any further evidence of this dog or Sam in the woods-"

"That's bullshit!" I shouted, making both my parents sternly say my name. I ignored them, saying, "That's absolute bullshit, Charlie," and I pushed past them, into the golden autumn evening outside, and slammed the door shut behind me.

Fuck you, spirit guide, I thought to myself. Fuck you.


When I got home I realized I hadn't brought my key with me, so I sat on the porch and watched as the sun set over the trees, setting the sky ablaze. I grabbed at the bottoms of my jeans in my fists, squeezing the denim with my jaw set. Embarassament swirled behind my eyes, mixed with red-hot anger, anxiety- a mad frenzy of lost feelings. I felt untethered, like I could fly away at any minute- like every string holding my life down had been untied and there was nothing to anchor me to this world anymore. And I knew it was no excuse for me to lash out at Charlie, but I couldn't help it. It was so hard sitting back and watching other people trying to put my life back together- watching people being so calm and collected about Sam's disappearance, even if it was their job. Nothing made sense and it was like every last atom of sanity and composure was slipping away from me so fast that I couldn't help but lose it.

I knew my parents were going to kill me. My dad would not tolerate me cursing at and disrespecting his best friend- let alone the chief of police- and he would make me apologize. It made my face burn just thinking about it- about me screaming 'bullshit!' into Charlie Swan's face as Sam's mother and aunt looked on. God, I could run my mouth off sometimes.

I seriously considered running when I saw my dad walking down the street toward our house about a half hour later. He didn't look murderous or anything, but he certainly didn't look happy, and I wasn't sure if I had the energy to be aware of how much I disappointed him. I didn't have the energy to run either though, so I just stayed where I was, running my hands through my hair and rubbing my face anxiously. Suddenly, I felt intolerably restless.

"You mind explaining to me why you just disrespected the chief of police when he's trying to find your boyfriend?" Dad asked when he stood before me on the front walkway.

I was still covering my face by nervously screwing with my hair when I groaned and said, "Dad! Please."

"No, Leah," he countered. "Your mother and I raised you better than that."

Moving my hands away from my face, I just stared at him.

"You're lucky Charlie is so understanding," he said to me, his eyes speaking the volumes he kept out of his voice.

I didn't say anything, just looked at the grass in the front yard.

After a beat Dad said, "You're going to apologize to him, Leah."

Even though I had known this was coming, I stared at him as if I detested his request.

"He'll be here in a few minutes," he told me. "I told him to come over once I had gotten a chance to speak with you."

"Well that was presumptuous of you," I replied. "Who says I'm going to apologize?"

My dad gave me a stern, angry look, and tiredly sat down beside me on the steps. "Leah," he said, "I understand this is hard for you, and I'm not saying you don't deserve some leeway here, but you have no right to mistreat people like you mistreated Charlie."

I leaned against my knees and rubbed my eyes with the heals of my hands.

"He's been my friend for a long time, and he's only ever been good to us," he told me, his weathered old baritone reverberating through me. "He's doing what he can to find Sam and you have to understand that it isn't easy."

Considering this, I wondered what I would do if it was solely up to me to find Sam. Where would I even begin to look? I had no resources and no help, and while Charlie had the Forks police, I knew they were limited too. Was he really doing all he could- was I just making it difficult for him?

Just as the regret began to set in, I saw the cruiser turn onto our street and pull up in front of the house. Dad waved Charlie over and I ran another nervous hand through my hair.

I've never been good at apologies.

Charlie looked awkward- maybe even as uncomfortable as I felt- when he got out of the cruiser and made his way over to us. He also seemed sheepish, like he had been the one to wrong me, and that only made me feel worse about freaking out on him the way I had.

None of us said anything- even when Charlie was standing right in front of us- so I glanced at my dad, nervous. He gave me this look, just with his eyes, as if to say, 'You're sleeping outside if you screw with me.'

"Chief Swan," I began, and I immediately felt strange. I had grown up always calling Charlie by his first name, and I suddenly felt like I was facing some kind of strange, foreign Indian chief, to apologize or get my ass beat. Clearing my throat, I began again, saying, "Charlie, I'm really sorry about what I said earlier- at the Uley's."

Charlie glanced at my dad before looking back to me. Dad cleared his throat slightly, as if waiting for me to continue, so Charlie didn't speak right away.

I continued, saying, "I know you're doing all you can to find Sam, and I'm sorry that I took my stress out on you."

I almost bit back the last statement but, instead, followed through with it. The worst part of apologizing to people for me was admitting that I was wrong in any way, or that I regretted something I had done. Like my father had been when he was young, I was stubborn and arrogant, and it took the jaws of life for me to turn my back on myself. Even if I knew, in my gut, that I was wrong, my stubbornness usually won out. But with Charlie I knew my dad wouldn't let me get away with a half-assed apology, so I dug really deep for him.

Charlie must have known that, because he quickly waved it off, saying, "I know how it is, Leah- You're not going through an easy time."

I looked at the gravel walkway underneath his feet, nodding subtly.

"And maybe you're right," he continued. "Maybe we should have gone out into the woods sooner or-"

"So you'll send out the forest ranger?" I asked, my head snapping up to meet his eyes hopefully.

Dad was immediately there to scold me, saying, "Leah!"

Charlie considered this for a moment, before he seemed to give in a little. "Here's what we'll do," he said. "I know you and Mrs. Uley won't leave me alone on this one, so I promise I will call the forest ranger if nothing turns up by Wednesday."

Beside me, Dad let out a breath, as if he wasn't happy with the way Charlie was appeasing me, but I didn't care.

"Deal?"

It was better than nothing so I managed a smile and a nod and said, "Deal."