Part One Freshman Year

Chapter Two


I've never been admired or desired. I've never been envied. I've never had people fight for the honor of being considered worth my time. As I'm walking down the hallway, Lila and Rhonda flanked at my side, I'm struck by an overwhelming feeling.

I am all those things. I'm Wilson High Royalty.

The boys stare, the girls whisper. I'm right where I want to be. I'm the best and they already know. Get ready for for the next four years, my loyal subjects. You have a new queen.

Even with all this confidence I can't resist looking for him. I feel my smile slip for a moment as I scan the crowd. He's not here and I can't help but feel disappointed.

He's your past. You don't care anymore.

Funny. Even in my head it sounds like a lie.


"Geez, Pataki you show off. All honors level classes and an AP Literature course?" Rhonda said with disgust as she glanced at my schedule. "How in the world do you except to to handle all this plus cheering plus our mandatory extra curricular? And don't forgot Coach Crazy requires us to maintain a 3.5 GPA! You're out of your mind."

"Jealous isn't a good color on you, Rhonda my dear. It clashes horribly with your skin tone." I responded sweetly.

Lila is sent into a fit of giggles and the death glare on Rhonda's face tells me I'm in for it. Go ahead, Princess. Bring it.

I see her look across the cafeteria and a wicked smile fills her face. "Tell me again what happened between you and Arnold, Helga? He may be way too tortured artist for my taste, but oh my God is that boy easy on the eyes. Bet he's a delicious kisser. Seems like a waste doesn't it?"

What an evil cow. I'll kill her before senior year I know it. With as much venom as I can inject into my voice I respond, "Rhonda, this is the last time I'm going to tell you this. Arnold is an off limits subject. His name never leaves your lips again, got it? We grew apart. End of story."

She sighs, rolling her eyes and moves the subject onto our crazy cheerleading coach. That's Rhonda's version of apologizing for obviously upsetting me. I try to let it go. Pretend hearing Rhonda ramble on about him so causally didn't bother me. I continue through the rest of lunch with a fake smile on my face. No one even notices the difference.

We're on our way out of the cafeteria when it happens. He's sitting there, looking just the same. Blonde hair, constantly messy, just long enough to fall into his eyes. Jeans and a light blue shirt just tight enough that I can tell he's been working out. Dazzling smile, deep dimples. He looks so happy, so real, so perfect.

My Arnold. Or at least he used to be.

He's sitting next that girl from the bus stop. She's all dark hair, punk clothes, and a voice high enough to drive anyone nuts. Her name is Amber and she's infuriating. He's nodding at something she's saying. She laughs. He smiles. God, I hate her.

His eyes flicker to me and for the first time in what feels like forever we make eye contact. My stomach lurks and my mind reels. If we were together right now, I would run up to him. I would slide into his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. He would smile at me, all dimples. He would whisper, lips right by my ear, how much he missed me. We'd sit there together, hoping for lunch to last just a little bit longer so we don't have to get up. Separation, even for a short time, would be unbearable.

Lila grabs my arm and tugs, breaking my fantasy. I should have went up to him. I could have apologized for all that I said. All that I did. Maybe that would have been the start of everything that was supposed to be.

Shoulda, coulda, woulda. It's so easy in the past tense.


A week later everything changes.

I'm coming out of cheer practice when I hear someone shout my name. I'm cranky and exhausted, so I turn toward the voice ready to lay on my special brand of Pataki charm.

His name is Derek Whitman and he shocks me into silence. Butterflies beat against my stomach as I take in his ink black hair, his stormy grey eyes surrounded by impossibly long lashes. His smile is all smirk and arrogance. He rambles on about how he heard Crazy Coach Kelly sing my praises and he just had to meet me. He's flooding me with compliments in the most adorable manner. But I can't focus. All I can think is yes, this boy. This boy can help me move on.

So the next morning when we walk into school together I allow him to slip his hand into mine. On the outside I'm all poise and sheer bliss. On the inside I'm a mixed bag of emotions, but I grab onto the attraction and genuine affection I feel for Derek and choose to ignore the rest.

Just like that I'm one half of Wilson High's new power couple.


"Alright ladies! Good work today. Some of your missed your marks so make sure you're practicing at home. Monday morning we're doing a five mile run, so make sure you bring good sneakers. Go Sharks!" cheered Coach Kelly.

"Well ladies it's been a blast kicking your butts all afternoon, but some of us have a hot date to get to" I smirked to Rhonda and Lila.

Lila got a dreamy look in her eyes as she said "He is so fricking cute I can't stand it. You are just so, so lucky Helga."

"Yeah, Pataki. A super hottie and a star running back. So what'd you do drug him?" responded Rhonda.

"Yeah, it's called charm and beauty. Go find some Miss. Priss. Toodles, my dears!" And with that statement I was out the door.

My phone suddenly vibrated with a message from Derek. Sorry, babe. Practice is running late. Meet u by the main entrance in 20? Miss u xxx.

I smiled. We've been dating for a month and he's wonderful. He calls me every night to wish me sweet dreams. He buys me my favorite caramel coffee every morning on the way to school. He's funny, sweet, gorgeous, and worshipped by everyone.

It's almost perfect.

I push away the nagging feeling of discontent and focus on him as I wander the halls. Derek, Derek, Derek.

I stop in front one of the art rooms, the smell of paint and turpentine leading me in. I've always loved that smell. I scan the room and I'm suddenly drawn to a painting on an easel in the back.

It's a painting of a girl sitting on the edge of a rooftop, legs swinging. Her long blonde hair is loose and falls to the small of her back. She's wearing a white dress, it's hem swept up in the breeze. She's looking up the night sky with tears in her crystal blue eyes but a smile on her face. The stars are bright and awe-inspiring. I know exactly what this girl is thinking. She feels so small in comparison to the vast night sky and wants nothing more than to burst from her skin and fly away. Leaving her problems on the Earth below. This painting fills me with an emotion I can't describe.

On instinct I reach out to touch her face when I hear him. Honestly I'm surprised I didn't feel his presence.

"Do you like it?" Arnold says with a slight smile.

These are the first words he's spoken to me since that night on his roof. Ignoring him would be silly, especially when I want so badly to hear his voice again.

"Honestly? I can't stop looking at it" I reply. It's then that I notice a tiny football in the corner. Of course it's his. I turn toward him and allow myself to look at him."You're incredibly talented. But that nothing you haven't heard before."

He shrugs, cheeks on fire. He's still so bad at accepting praise. But he's nervous too. I can tell by his uneasy smile. Any minute he's going to grab something to give his hands something to do.

"Yeah well. Thanks." he stammers, grabbing a paintbrush off the counter and twirling it through his fingers. My heart skips. I hate how well I know him. "So, haven't seen you around the boarding house. Sunday dinner, and all that."

I've been avoiding him. My mom is starting to get annoyed with my excuses every Sunday. She doesn't get it. "Cheering does keep me busy. Plus I've started volunteering over at St. Luke's." I let my voice trail off and the silence between us fills the room.

After almost a minute he says "I've seen you with what's his name? Derek? I've heard you're dating him. I hope he's good to you."

Not as good as you would be. "Yeah he's sweet. Big goofball. How's ummm Amber?"

I've seen them walking in the hall together. Her arms wrapped around his waist, looking up at him with adoration. I pretend it doesn't make me want to punch a hole in the wall.

"She's nice. A really good photographer. Her stuff can be in galleries one day. I'm kind of jealous." he laughs.

I snort and roll my eyes as my phone vibrates again. Babe, where are u? U forget about me? Focus, Pataki. Derek, your boyfriend, is waiting for you.

I look up into Arnold's emerald eyes. I hold contact for a second too long before I look away. It can't be like this. We had our chance. I ruined it.

"Ummm, I got to go. The old ball and chain calls. Catch you later, football head."

I'm almost home free when he calls my name. I hesitate by the doorway but don't turn around.

"Helga? I hope I see you around."

I pause for another second and keep walking, tears threatening to fill my eyes. I can't be around him. I blew us up on the summer night and now it's never going to be the same. I understand all of this in my head, but my heart just can't catch up. I just have to hold on tight and hope the pain goes away soon.

God, I'm so stupid.


Derek is snuggled up against me. He's made it very clear he want to go farther and I'm getting sick of telling him I'm not ready. A few days ago on the phone he said he loved me and I said I wasn't there yet. But now laying next to him I'm wondering if this is why he said it.

"No problem," he says, and takes my hand in his. We're laying on my bed, killing time. Tonight is the homecoming game and tomorrow is the dance. I'm already in my uniform but I'm procrastinating doing my hair and makeup. My dress for tomorrow night is hanging from my closet doorknob. It's a glittery burgundy, princess cut A-line mini tulle dress with a sheer high neck. It's beautiful. I'm hoping at the dance as the DJ plays a romantic song, Derek will grab me and hold me close. As we sway to the music, he'll whisper how stunning I look and how lucky he is. And I'm praying in that moment, I'll love him.

With that wish on my mind, I lean into him and kiss him. The room is silent except for our breathing. His lips find my neck and he whispers "I love you, Helga" against my skin. Suddenly I'm thinking of the girl in the painting. Of the art room.

Derek kisses me again and I imagine going with Arnold to an art museum, teasing him that none of these paintings are as good as his. I imagine an older couple cooing at our young love. I imagine him blushing, leaning down to kiss me on the cheek. Derek moves on top of me, his body heavy and warm. I deepen our kiss. If Arnold and I had been together he would have told me he loved me by now, but he wouldn't have asked about sex. The thought wouldn't have crossed his mind. Not yet. I can see all of this as if it has already happened, as if it was what happened. I know that it is accurate down to the smallest detail, because even with everything that did happen, I still know Arnold, and I know what would have happened.

With my heart full of Arnold, I break the kiss and look up.

"I love you." I say to Derek.


A/N: I just quickly want to say THANK YOU to the people that reviewed my story (September-Stray and a guest!) as well as to anyone who followed it. This chapter is for you guys! Just wanted to make a couple things clear. A quickie timeline of Arnold and Helga's relationship. They started out just like on the show. Her bullying him but loving him while him just being the Arnold we know and love. In middle school, Miriam and Susie (we'll get into the how's and stuff later) become best friends and the Pataki family spends a lot of time at the boarding house. Helga and Arnold become best friends, really closer then even that. But they were not dating. Then they have a fight in the summer before freshman year and that's where we are now. Hope that clears some stuff up without giving too much away. I'm trying really hard to dive deep into their relationship beacuse it's so incredibly complex. I honestly believe nothing with Helga and Arnold is ever easy. So this story is bascially the long and difficult path that take to eventually come together. With a bunch of twists and turns! Anyways, done rambling. Might have another chapter up tomorrow but I'm pretty tired. Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks, my lovelies.

Oh and of course! Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold! or anything really.

Kisses! xox