AN:
Yes, I have to admit that I'm evil. Giving you two of three chapters of this story and just stop writing. "I wasn't in the mood" isn't really an excuse – and it isn't even really true. I was in the mood and I already had half the chapter done but… Well… All your comments, all those "oh, how great, continue!"… Somehow, I got really, really nervous. What if this chapter wouldn't be like you would think / hope it would be? Awwww, I hate to disappoint people.
So: Ok, I was frightened. But after I read Twilight for about the 30th time, I felt that I should give this story an end, no matter what you all want to do to me after reading it.
I stopped reading comments on my stories a while ago but start reading them again when this chapter is finished ;) I'll try and answer all of those messages (Yepp, I have nothing to do today) and I really want to say a big thank you to all of you who sent me virtual cookies, pleads to write on and all your criticism.
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What has happened before:
On a hunting trip with a part of their family, Edward and Jasper killed a human more or less by accident. Emmett called Bella the night they got back from their hunting ground. Emmett thought that Edward would need his mate, since Edward wouldn't talk, get out of his room or even read the minds of his family.
So, Bella drives to the Cullen Mansion in the middle of the night, ready to do everything in her might to help her beloved vampire – although she really has no clue what to do exactly. After some time, Edward starts telling her everything and Bella understands, why Edward is so very afraid.
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Chapter 3
I knew what I had to do.
Edward raised his head, confused why I stopped him from talking and afraid he had said something that had upset me.
I took my finger from his lips and stroke slowly from his ear to his jaw. I knew my fingers were trembling and I knew that he felt it but I gave him a reassuring smile to show him that I wasn't afraid. I put my hand on the side of his face, caressing his lips with my thumb.
"It's ok, my love, you didn't say anything wrong. You may not believe me when I say it but… I forgive you, Edward." And that was really what I meant, although it was really hard to believe myself – a daughter of a policeman, forgiving a murder. But this wasn't something about common sense or even ethics, this was about Edward. About my mate.
Slowly, his facial expression changed. It started with disbelieve, got to doubt and stayed where he just looked at me as if I was insane.
"You… Bella, I committed a murder!"
I could read in his eyes that he wanted to accept my forgiveness, to trust me that I knew what I was talking about – but he wouldn't let himself do that so easily.
I had to convince him."I know, Edward. And don't get me wrong: I'm not saying that it is ok to run around and kill people. I would never forgive anyone who killed another person just because he or she could or wanted. This is about you, Edward." I made a short pause to let sink in what I was telling him. "You've told me once that even the strongest of you have their weak moments. That, even though you don't really want to, you could slip. Edward, you've told me the whole story and I don't think that you left out anything important that I should know. I can feel you are sorry and I truly believe that you won't slip again for a long, long time, if not forever. You haven't killed that man on purpose. It was an accident, Edward."
For a time, it was silent in Edward's room. Quietly, the first birds were starting to sing outside while the first rays of sunlight touched the forest beneath the big window.
Edward was still looking doubtfully at me, his head nestled into the palm of my hand. Somehow I got the impression that he started to believe me. Nevertheless, it was hard for him.
"Bella… I slipped on a human – even if it was by accident, how could I be sure that I wouldn't… That… If I was that hungry again I…" He struggled for words and once again, he looked helpless. But I already understood his problem – although this time, it would be easier for me to formulate my phrases if he could pick them right out of my mind. I think, this was the first time that I would be happy that his gift would work on me, too…
"Edward. That was some random hunter far away from civilization, already dying, all alone in the woods and in addition: He was bleeding while you were hunting in that area. That wasn't me, Edward. Trust me when I say that I know that you would never hurt me, never… hunt me. You are one very strong vampire. You give your best from day to day and all day long to get away from your 'basic instincts', if I may call them that way. Killing a human being will always be something horrible but in your case, I can understand why you acted that way."
I felt him relax more and more in my hands. Calmness was finally evident in his eyes. As he didn't say anything, I started anew.
"I love you, Edward. I will always do. This accident in the woods won't change the feelings I have towards you. And don't think I'll be afraid of you now: I am not. Every person makes mistakes sometimes. Some are worse than others – but not regretting a mistake is the worst one. I can see the way you feel, I can understand why you are frightened and I know that you deeply regret what you did. I forgive you, my love."
This was the first time in this long night that I could see a small smile play on the lips of my beloved vampire. Finally, he was convinced that I really meant what I said to him. He took my hand in his, caressing its back and then, he leaned his face towards me.
The following kiss said more than words could ever do.
I felt his icy lips on my warm ones. Slowly, he shifted his position so that he was laying besides me, holding me in his one arm while his other arm played a bit with my hand. Both of us had our eyes closed but feelings are so much more than pictures.
In this kiss, I felt his complete trust and gratefulness. At first, his lips were still a little bit trembling but soon, we lost ourselves in the embrace and simple present of each other.
As we opened our eyes ones again – I don't know how long we have been cuddled up like this – there was no sign of fear, no sign of that "weak" Edward of the last hours. Although still red, his eyes showed the typical "Edwardian Shine" as I grew accustomed to call it. That look that just lets one forget to breathe and that can wipe away all your thoughts at once.
My Edward was back.
We lay silent for another amount of time. Somehow I got the idea of how time passes for a vampire: It just does. Who needs to know how late it is or how long something takes if you have forever?
"Thank you." His quiet whisper interrupted my musings. He smiled and I had to smile back.
"Thank you so much, my love…" He said once more. If he wanted to say anything else, he couldn't: My lips found their way back to his granitic ones. I felt him smile and then he answered my kiss.
When it ended, I had to say only one more thing to him, one thing he should better never forget.
"Edward?"
"Hm?" His eyes held mine and even if I had wanted, I couldn't have looked away. They were still red but somehow… It frightened me less than earlier this night. The red would pass and he would get his butterscotch color back again.
"Whatever will happen in the future: I'll be there for you. You can tell me everything – what bothers you, what frightens you,… I'll be right there for you, listening. I may not be a vampire but I'll do anything in my might to help you."
His forehead touched mine and sincerity was in his voice as he answered. "You did more than any vampire on this world could have done, my love. Thank you – and I don't know when I'll stop saying those two words so you better get used to them." He said with wink that made me laugh.
The sun stood high in the sky when we moved the next time. Well… As high as the sun can stand in Forks. The day wouldn't be exactly sunny but just perfect for my taste.
"Bella?" Edward interrupted the peaceful silence and he sounded somehow… sorry?
"What is it?"
"Well… I think, I won't be at school for the next days… I think it won't be longer than two weeks, but I think, you should now it now."
I propped myself on one elbow and looked a bit surprised at my mate. Did he think he would relapse?
I could feel my brows shifting together as I thought along those lines but only for a moment. Edward put his strong arm around my waist once more and carefully pushed me down onto his body.
"Don't worry, my love. It's not because of what you think – trust me, this time I can read it word for word from your face, I don't need to know your thoughts." I could see a small grin forming on his face. "But.. Well… Just imagine what will happen if I'm in school and my eyes are still crimson? There will be rumors, questions,… Nothing will even come close to reality but I'd rather have no questions or rumors at all. I'll hunt the next days – and I'll be very careful – so that I'll get my gold back as soon as possible."
He winked at me and once again, I had to chuckle a bit. I don't exactly know why but… Maybe it was just the fading tension of the last hours.
"Ok, I'll give note to Mrs. Cope that you're ill for some time. And don't think you'll have nothing else to do than hunting !"
He looked at me and it seemed as if a giant question mark was painted on his face – I gave him a huge grin and continued: "Well… We are still in school, we have still lots of homework to do…"
At the word "homework", he let out a long sigh.
"Oh, please, I know so much more than those stupid teachers – I don't need any homework."
I let out a laugh and let me fall on the couch next to my vampire. "Yes, that's what all the ill children say… "
He let out a playful growl and carefully poked the tip of my nose with one of his slender fingers. "Ok, Ma'am. I'll do my homework, go hunting and be a very good vampire. There. Happy?"
"Yepp." And I gave him a radiant smile.
I could have lain here for all day but finally, my stomach betrayed me and let out a low grumble.
"Oh, right, time to eat… Sorry, I completely forgot about that." Edward smiled ruefully at me.
"No problem. I'll go downstairs and make me something, ok?" I loved the Cullen's fridge. There was always something delicious in it and since they wouldn't eat it themselves, Esme gave me permission to take whatever I liked – although sometimes, I still had to tell them why I chose something over something else.
"Yes, of course."
I sat up and walked towards the door. Just when I had its knob in my hand, I realized Edward right behind me. "You're going, too?"
One of his arms sneaked around my waist. "Yes… I think, I should say sorry to some people down there…"
I smiled and together, we went down the stairs until we reached the living room.
"Edward!" Esme came running – and I really mean running, since she appeared out of nowhere – towards him.
It didn't take many seconds and all the Cullens were gathered in the living room once more. This time, even Alice and Jasper. Esme and Carlisle locked Edward in a long embrace, although Carlisle looked a bit like my dad shortly before I would get a telling-off. I got the feeling that Edward would get one, too.
Alice and Jasper were standing a bit away, holding each other's hand, smiling at the scene before them. Even though I didn't really want to, I took a look at Jaspers eyes. They were crimson, just like Edwards. I could feel an icy chill building up and although I tried to fight it, I knew that Jasper had already felt my emotions before that chill made its way down my spine. He looked smiling at me and the next moment, my uneasiness was gone. Wouldn't it have been Jasper and wouldn't he have had red eyes, I might have considered to give him a hug but I knew it would be the stupidest idea I could have this day. So I just gave him a warm smile from where I was standing. Yes, Jasper was still the Jasper I knew – never mind his eye color.
The next moment, I was in Esmes strong arms. "Thank you, Bella." Her voice was calm and full of gratefulness. "Sometimes, you are really able to work wonders…"
My cheeks were flushed with blood. As she released me, my sight fell on Carlisle who was smiling at me, too. He didn't need any words. One look at his face and I knew that he was thanking me. Somehow I was a bit proud of me. I helped a vampire… Finally, I was able to give back a little bit of what I receive all the time.
Edward took my hand in his, smiled at me and together, we walked into the kitchen. At the kitchen door, he turned around as if he had forgotten about something.
"Emmett?" He asked with a smile on his face.
Emmett, who had already tried to get away – probably because Edward could know by know that he called me and maybe he could be mad at him – stopped dead in his track and with an unsure smile turned around, facing my beloved one.
"Eh… yes?"
"Thanks for calling her. I'll never forget that."
Emmett's smile widened to a grin. "How do you know… Did she tell you?"
Edward let out a low chuckle. "No. But from all the persons, who were there… Well, you'd be the only one to get this crazy idea."
"Crazy or not: it worked." He said with an impish grin.
Edward just nodded and together, we went into the kitchen.
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Yes, that's it. The third chapter. Well… Tell me, what you think ° It was pretty hard to write – I was never (and I'm pretty sure I'll never be) in a situation similar to Bellas…
And now, I'll look through my eMails, your comments and any message I got through the last few MONTHS. (Oh, my… Months. I wanted this story to take max. some days, not months… sigh Sorry again.)
