Essence

Summary: Kanda have very little respect for Finders, even less in his first months at the European Headquarters. They feel very much the same. Much is still to be learned about the new, bad tempered exorcist.


Chapter three

In a matter of a few seconds the order went from despair to happiness.

As soon as Kanda threw Mogen and pierced the Akuma's eye, the order knew he'd won. In the split second they'd all opened their mouth in a loud cheer, hands in the air and relief evident on all of their faces.

"Thank goodness.." Komui never got to finish his sentence, as what happened next caused the entire order to pause, faces frozen in happiness but their eyes horrified by what transpired on the grounds outside the order.

The rattled gasp of pain that sounded through the audio system alerted them before their eyes told them what'd happened. But the setting sun reflected its last light in the blade now emerging from the young exorcist's back, blood dripping on the ground from a deathly wound.

Then the akuma exploded and turned to dust. Gone in a matter of seconds. As its iron grip around Kanda disappeared, the exorcist fell to the ground but unlike the other times, he didn't land elegantly. He barely regained his footing before sinking to his knees, his one arm hanging limply from its socket. They saw the akuma blade turning to dust, leaving the wound in the exorcist's chest wide open. Kanda, front facing the headquarters, coughed, blood spelling over his lips as his other, uninjured hand supported him from falling to the ground.

The scientist's and finders alike all drew in breath when they saw the small pentagrams appear around the wound from the akumablade. Kanda coughed again, before crumbling facedown into the dirt, unmoving.

"Kanda!" Komui didn't even realise he'd shouted. He quickly grasped the microphone for inside announcements. "Open the door, quickly! Get him in! We don't know if there any more lurking in the woods!"

Before the last word had left his lips Lenalee had run out of the door, her young legs carrying her as fast as they could. Komui swore under his breath. He looked at Reever. "You stay here." he issued the order before taking after his sister. The science chief nodded weakly, turning his attention back to the screen in front of him.

When Komui arrived in the great entrance hall, the whole place was in a uproar. Finders and nurses and cooks and people everywhere. He saw Lenalee waiting by the door. He gave a inaudible sigh of relief that she hadn't let her feelings get the better of her. She knew better than to go outside when there were akuma.

His momentarily relief were however short lived when he saw two finders carry in the still form of Kanda Yuu.

The door closed behind them, and with great care the two finders gently put down the exorcist on the blanket quickly spread out by the nurses standing by. Komui knelt beside Kanda, his hands shaking as he sat down beside the two nurses checking up on the exorcist with great haste and care. The hall fell silent as they all stared at the hated exorcist. The pentagrams continued to spread over his body, although uncharacteristically slow. They saw the big hole in his chest, the deep gash in his leg. Blood had already started to pool around him. The long, black hair laid on the floor, out of its usual ponytail. Komui felt his eyebrows raise slightly in surprise at the sight of what appeared to be a tattoo across the boys chest. The broken collarbone had broken through the skin when Kanda fell from the akuma, the useless arm s blueish hue from lack of circulation. The exorcist's didn't move. He didn't breathe.

Komui watched as the nurse took Kanda's puls. He knew they should get all these people away, but all thoughts of giving the exorcist some privacy went out the window when the nurse lifted her head to look him in the eye. He felt true despair whenshe shook her head, sadness in her eyes. The surrounding people looked away, shocked and in denial. None of them haboured any warm feelings for the foul tempered exorcist. But, they didn't want to see his body turn into nothing. Not after he saved them. Lenalee stepped closed, standing beside her brother.

"Kanda.. no," she whispered, the grief in her young voice causing tears to form in many eyes.

Komui stood up, embracing Lenalee. She buried her face in his lap coat, crying and shaking. Komui himself closed his eyes as he put his arms around his sister, the pain over loosing Tiedolls young apprentice making it impossible for him to look at the abused body. The nurses stood up and took a step back, heads bowed in respect for the exorcist's sacrifice.

All heads bowed in grief and respect, none noticed the twitching of his brow. Lenalee, being closest too her as-good-as-friend as she had come to think of him, opened one eye when she heard a low wheezing sound. She looked up at her brother, who seemed too absorbed in his own grief to notice. She glanced around. Nobody said anything, they all had their heads bowed. Now both of her eyes open, she dared to look at Kanda again. She almost screamed in shock when he stared right back at her.

For a few seconds they stared at each other, Lenalee fixed by the cold, blue stare of the boy she thought was dead. Her head were already going over all the medical knowledge she'd gathered in her short life, looking for an explanation on how the dead could open their eyes. It seemed like forever, but later she realized it had only been a second or two. 'Dead people can't open their eyes.' her mind reasoned with her.

She stared at Kanda's face and saw something move in his eyes, a small movement of his brow, a slight twist of his arm. 'But the living can!'

Before she got the chance to react however Kanda beat her to it. The small, bare audibly wheezing sound Lenelee had heard seemed to have been one, long intake of air. The hall were as silent as the grave, when suddenly a sharp cough followed by a groan of pain broke through the silence. Everywhere eyes shot open, disbelieving shouts following, Komui nearly falling backwards when Lenalee broke free from his embrace.

"He's not dead!" Lenalee all but screamed as she fell to her knees beside her friend, as the surrounding people became witness to something that would become rumour and later legend among the staff of the black order.

The destroyed, broken body had started to breath, to live. Taking small gasps of air, Kanda's face twisted in agony as the pentagrams – the symbol of the lethal akuma poison – started to disappear from his body, leaving no trace of having ever been there. Kanda started to involuntarily shake as his body went into shock, his right arm cramping and his breathing became rapidly more difficult as as he threw up more blood. His right arm, twisting and cramping because of the heavy strain on his body, shot up to involuntarily clutch his chest, in a childish attempt to keep the giant wound together. However, the movement caused him to accidentally touch his broken collarbone, causing him to grip around the actual bone that had punctured his skin. In a split second his eyes widened, his pupils shrinking until you only could see his bright, blue irises. A strangled scream of pain sounded from him, and his back ached of the ground as the damaged from the akuma hit him with full force.

The scream woke the surrounding spectators from their stunned silence. Shouts of wonder and confusion and no little amount of fear echoed through the now bustling hall as the nurses quickly pushed Komui and Lenalee aside to gather around the now breathing Kanda who had closed his eyes again but otherwise seemed very much alive.

"Get me a stretcher!" a nurse yelled, as she and the others put pressure on the profoundly bleeding wounds. Kanda cursed through his teeth in with such ferocity that
the ones closets to him turned bright red. Komui, still in shock from seeing somebody return from the dead, pulled Lenalee back, giving the nurses the room they needed to do their job. The stretcher arrived a few seconds later, and with little effort the nurses lifted the young man, who now appeared to have fallen unconscious, before running off, through the sea of people who spilt like Moses crossing the red sea, the nurse in front screaming for somebody to get matron and to prepare the operation room. As they disappeared from view, everybody turned to Komui, a look of wonder and fear on their face.

The chief did little to reassure them. Their look were mirrored on his own face.

"Go back to your duties." Komui said weakly, turning around and heading back to the monitor room. He needed to talk with his team.

"Chief, what the hell just.." began one finder, but was cut off when Komui raised his hand.

"I'll let you know as soon as I have any idea myself. Now go please."

oOo

Kanda knew that he'd died when he opened his eyes. He saw the celling of the entrance hall. The last thing he remembered were falling headfirst into the ground, outside of the order. He hurt all over, but feeling how his lungs protested against the lack of air he knew that he had to draw breath soon unless he wanted to die again.

He attempted, and almost passed out again from the effort. Damn hell, that hurt! He was vaguely aware of the weird sound he made but disregarded it. He knew his chest had been pulled apart. He tried to move his head but were unable to perform this task. He glanced to his left, only to stare right into Lenaless big, violet eyes. Her eyes were full of tears, and he felt something unpleasant in his chest at the sight. An aching, not related to his current state. Noticing he'd spent the last forty or something seconds on breathing in, he realized that he also had to breath out.

'Isn't it just my damn lucky day.' He tried to ease out the breath, not wanting to gain the attention of the people he assumed surrounding him. However he felt the breath getting caught in his chest, and involuntarily he coughed, more blood spilling over his lips. 'Well, fuck me.' were the last conscious thought he managed to think before his body returned to life and with it a wave of pain. Losing all focus on the things around him, he felt the seal pulling him together, cell by cell, and did it hurt! I
n his delusion he was vaguely aware of the people around him, but he soon lost all interest in them. The pain from his collarbone, as he by mistake grabbed onto, made him scream. Even before he'd stopped screaming he'd already started scolding himself for such a lack of control. Suddenly he felt hands all over him, pressing down on his wounds and hell if he thought the collarbone had hurt it was nothing compared to the unrelenting hands of the black order medical staff. Cursing like a shipwrecked sailor, he attempted weakly to pry their hands off him, the pain making it hard to think straight. Kanda felt his mind beginning to slip and for once he gladly allowed himself to fall into the darkness.

oOo

The following day

The hours following Kanda Yuu miraculously recovery had been odd, even by Black Order standards. Komui had disappeared into his office along with Reever and several other scientists. Lenalee had been in the hospital ward ever since her fellow exorcist had been transferred there, sitting by his bedside. All the other black order personal had been in a state of shock, but it hadn't taken long before the rumour mill had started. The idea that Kanda had somehow been turned into an akuma seemed to be the most popular one, causing most of the order to walk around in fear. Some tried to focus on the fact that Kanda had saved several finders, but the deed quickly got lost among the rapid growing theories on how the exorcist had survived.

It were in this state that general Froi Tiedoll returned to the black order, his apprentices Noise Marie and Daisya Barry in tow. They walked calmly towards the gate, when Marie suddenly stopped, tilting his head as if listening intently.
"What is it Marie?" asked Tiedoll, stopping beside the younger man.

"I'm not sure.. some is different. Something has happened while we're away." Marie answered, a unsure frown on his face. Daisya had run ahead of the two, looking around. He noticed the blood on the ground, when something caught his eye. He ran forward and gasped. "General!" he yelled, causing both Tiedoll and Marie to run up to him.

"What is it, what have you found?" asked Tiedoll, his voice calm and even as ever.
Daisya turned around, and Tiedoll found himself a little shocked. There, in Daisya's hands, were Mugen. Kandas Innocence.

"Something defiantly happened here." Daisya put in, weighing the kantana in his hands. "Kanda would never leave his sword behind."
Tiedoll shook his head, having noticed the blood on the ground several feet from them. "No he would not. However, I believe we can find the answer to our questions inside." Daisya now also noticed the blood trail on the ground, leading directly to the gate.

"Wow.." the turk muttered. Marie walked up besides them. "What is it?" he asked softly.
Daisya looked up. "Oh, there's lots and lots of blood on the ground. And I just found Mugen lying in the dirt." Marie looked greatly disturbed by the information, and the trio quickly walked towards the gate.

"General Tiedoll!" the three of them had barely made it inside the order before they were ambushed by Komui. Froi Tiedoll regarded the heavy breathing branch chief who seemed to have been running a great distance.

"Komui." Tiedoll nodded, his eyes kind but there were a more serious undertone in his calm voice. "What has transpired whilst I were away?"

Komui looked surprised. "...what?" he gasped, seemingly confused that the general had asked him a questione. With a nod from Tiedoll, Daisya held Mugen up in front of Komuis face. The branch chief sucked in his breath. They'd forgotten Mugen outside!? Kanda would kill him! And Reever! And Hevlaska!

"Why is Kanda's Innocence lying outside in a pool of blood in front of the gate?"
Komui scratched his head sheepishly. "About that.." he began, knowing no matter how he broke the news to the caring the general, it would cause great worry.

Tiedoll sat beside Kanda's bed, watching the young man he'd come to love as his own son, with sorrow in his bright, gentle eyes. He'd been told everything. How an argument with a finder had caused Kanda to storm off. How a level two had attacked the order last night. How Kanda had died.

Tiedoll sighed. He'd spent a good deal of time explaining Kanda's special condition to Komui. Without going into detail – he himself not knowing that much about it – he'd explained the function of the seal on Kanda's chest, how it could revive him and heal him from even death itself. Komui had been silent while the general had explained everything to him.

"That is why he's never hurt when he returns from missions." Komui said, a frown on his face. He didn't like that. The order kept journals of every injury the exorcists and finder substantiated while on a mission. Kanda left a giant hole in the statistic.

Tiedoll nodded. "He gets hurt all the time. He can get pretty reckless because he's not afraid of dying. That is actually why I left him here. I believed he needed a break from all the fighting."

Komui gave a dry laugh. "That didn't work out very well." he said, rubbing his forehead.

Tiedoll shook his head. "I worry about that boy." he said, his voice heavy.

Komui raised an eyebrow. "Why, if he can't be killed?"

"I'm not worried about him getting hurt – you've seen it yourself, he's tough. Tougher than most." Tiedoll removed his glasses and gently rubbed his eyes before standing up.

"No I'm worried that he doesn't seem to value his life. Or the life of others. He view life differently than most of the order members. It has no value to him. It's dispensable."

Komui nodded, understanding the generals concern. He frowned. "What shall I tell the order? I don't assume this seal of his is common knowledge?"

Tiedoll smiled sadly. "Call it a miracle."

Komui nodded grimly. "They won't believe it."

"They don't have too. Now excuse me, I have to go visit my son."

oOo

The next day, afternoon

Kanda opened his eyes, a action he immediately regretted. The bright light burned through his skull and he quickly shot his eyes again. He felt like shit, but a careful glance to his left shoulder confirmed that there no longer were any bones out of place. A look at his heavily bandaged chest confirmed that that too had been dealt with properly. He tried to sit up and whinched when his chest protesting aggressively against the movement. He gritted his teeth and forced himself until he was in a sitting position. He looked around, weary of his surroundings.

He was in the infirmary. He frowned. Why was he there? He healed just as well in his own bed.

Mood dropping faster than his blood pressure the previous day, his gaze fell on the person sitting beside him. Lenalee.

The young girl were asleep, half draped over his bed. His frown deepend. Why was she here?

Before he got to wonder any further about why she would sleep in such an fashion, she opened her eyes and yawned. When she saw Kanda was awake and looking at her she shrieked, before throwing herself around his neck. Pain shooting through his body, Kanda let out a string of curses as he attempted to wriggle out of the girl's tight hug. "For fucks sake Lenalee, let go of me!" he almost sighed with relief when the girl let go of him. He noticed, to his great discomfort, that she'd tears in her eyes. Again.

"Why do you cry al the time?" he grumbled. She smiled through her tears.

"I'm so happy you're okay!" she beamed, and for a second he thought she would throw herself around him again. Kanda bristled before eying her suspiciously. "Why?" he deadpanned.

Her smile never leaving her face, she simply dried her eyes. She'd been getting used to Kanda's one track mind and didn't mind his rough tone. "Because you are my friend Kanda. I love you, just as I love my brother!" she beamed, taking his hand in hers. "I'm so happy.."

Kanda felt uncomfortable. He knew it was frowned upon to make girls cry. But he hadn't meant too! Before he could answer a new voice joined in.

"Yuu, you're awake!"

Lenelee looked ove her shoulder at general Tiedoll, the smile never leaving her face as the gentle general walked towards the two young exorcists. Kanda on the other hand looked sourly at his master, blue eyes promising the general a slow death for the use of his first name. Tiedoll didn't notice, being used to Kanda's less than pleasing looks, as he stopped beside the infirmary bed.

"Dearest Lenalee, can I please have a moment alone with Kanda?" Tiedoll asked politely the young girl. She giggled. "Of course!" she jumped out of the chair, but before she ran off she quickly threw her arms around Kanda one more time. Kanda stiffened when he felt her lips touch his cheek. Just what the damn hell?!

"Sorry!" Lenalee said, blushing slightly. "I'm just so happy!"

And then she was gone, leaving Kanda to stare dumbfound after her. He would never understand how her mind worked.

Tiedoll chuckled. "You really seem to have bonded with Lenalee." he commented, smiling. "I'm glad."

Kanda huffed, leaning back into his pillow. "Girl's a complete manic." he grumbled sourly.

Tiedoll frowned. "Now now Yu, it's not nice to talk about your friends like that."

"Don't call me that!" Kanda hissed like an alley cat. "I talk however the fuck I please." Then, as a afterthought. "I don't have friends." he then stated, folding his arms in front of his chest in what most would describe as a pout but oddly enough seemed rather intimidating on the young samurai.

Tiedoll just smiled. We don't always get to chose for our self dear boy.

Kanda looked back at his master. "What do you want old man? When did you come back?" he sneered, feeling oddly on edge by the continued gentle smile Tiedoll looked at him with.

"I returned this morning with Daisya and Marie. I've heard your fight against the level two." Tiedoll explained, his voice gentle. Kanda refused to look at him, staring straight ahead.

"I'm very proud of you Yuu." Tiedoll said. Kanda threw him a side glance. Secretly he was rather shocked at the words. "Why?" he asked, his voice angry. "I got beaten to shit by an akuma."

"You beat it, despite your injury. For one your age to kill an level two is beyond anything the order have ever seen before."
Kanda shrugged, he didn't see the big deal. "Che, whatever."
Tiedoll smiled. "Also, I have this for you." he reached for an item behind his back. Kanda eyed his master with suspicion until he saw what the man had in his hands.

"Mugen." Kanda said, reaching for the blade. Tiedoll gave it to him. Kanda carefully unsheathed the sword. The blade was spotless.

"Daisya found it outside the order. Apparently nobody seemed to think about getting it after you fell unconscious yesterday."
Kanda felt anger boil up inside him. They'd forgotten Mugen? OUTSIDE?!

"But, everything is in order now so no need to press the subject any further." Tiedoll smiled.

"I cleaned it myself."
Kanda didn't look at him, he bowed his head over the sword. The long hair concealing his face, Tiedoll heard what could've been a thank you. Or a fuck off. He settle for the first option.

"You're welcome Yuu."
Before Kanda got any chance to utter yet another angry retort, a loud voice interrupted them.

"Is our favorite sword wielding grumpypants awake?" Kanda bristled when Daisya walked into view, followed by Marie. The turk grinned at him. Kanda growled back.

"He is!" Daisya proclaimed, throwing his arm around the younger boy.

Marie smiled. "I'm glad you're ok Kanda." the big man said as he sat down beside Tiedoll.

"We sure are, kid! We were just talking with some finders, about what you did yesterday. Damn fine job, kid!" Kanda tried to wrestle out of the others embrace. "Let go of me, you moron!" he snapped, Tiedoll quickly removed Mugen before Kanda remembered it rested on the bed.

Daisya laughed. "Nah, no chance!"

"I SAID LET GO IDIOT TURK!"

"Daisya, let go of him! He's still healing!"

The nurses all looked down the hall when the raised voices became loud enough for them to hear. They saw Froi Tiedoll sitting beside the bed, tears in his eyes and a smile on his face, Noise Marie smiling (although he did cover his ears) while Kanda and Daisya seemed to have some sort of wrestling match. Or that's what Kanda thought. In Daisya's mind he were simply hugging his teammate. But with Kanda, who could really tell the difference.

TBC


I'll wrap this up with a nice, little epilogue.
I know I said this would be the last, but then I changed my mind.

Please review!