Part Three: Kiss Me Deadly
Mai swiped angrily at her eyes. Why was she crying? She didn't cry, she wasn't the one that got all emotional and stupid; that was Ty Lee. Where was Ty Lee, anyway? The stupid Kyoshi warriors weren't leaving till tomorrow and Ty Lee should be here, she was Mai's friend, wasn't she? Even if she was going off to stupid Kyoshi Island to be with her stupid new Kyoshi Warrior friends, she should be here for Mai to talk to…
Another swipe with the back of her hand, another time it came away wet. The stupid tears wouldn't stop falling. Tears of anger, she told herself, and knew it for a lie. Or partly a lie. Oh, she was angry, that much was sure; angry, hurt, disappointed, confused…And jealous. Agni, she was jealous! How could he, how could Zuko fall for that stupid little Water Tribe peasant? Wasn't she Aang's girl? Everyone whispered that the two of them made a cute couple, but apparently that didn't matter to the high and mighty Fire Lord. Oh no, he had to go and break off a perfectly acceptable relationship to go chasing after a girl who he even admitted might not care about him the same way.
She slipped into her room, grateful not to have met anyone on the way. Everyone was busy in other wings of the palace, and Zuko refused to have guards on the door to his private office and chambers the way his father always had. Mai knew the back routes of the palace, routes even the servants rarely used, and that knowledge had come in handy today.
Once inside she shut the door softly behind her and leaned against it. Was it only last night that she'd been in the same position, her heart singing and a smile on her face? How stupid she'd been. How blind and stupid…
She cried out as she felt something sharp slice into her palm. She looked down blankly; when had she drawn her knives, why was she holding them by the blades instead of the well-wrapped handles? She watched as her blood flowed down the blade to drip onto the floor. She'd been cast aside by the man she loved yet again, all her sacrifices and years of love and loyalty crushed beneath his feet as if they meant nothing.
Crushed like her heart.
As if a passenger inside her own body rather than the one controlling it, she watched as she walked over to the bathing chamber attached to her room and carefully rinsed the blood off her blades, as she washed and dried and wrapped her hand in a clean cloth and neatly returned the knives to their sheathes. She continued to watch as she knelt down and pulled out a small black enameled box and placed it on the counter next to the sink, pushing aside the towels and hair care items and cosmetics in order to make room.
The box was a gift from Azula, as were its contents. A gift she'd only reluctantly accepted, one she never intended to do anything with, but here it was, and it was her hands releasing the catch, opening the cover, and pulling out the small vials in order for her eyes to examine them.
They were neatly labeled; Azula was nothing if not thorough, at least before she completely lost her mind. Thorough and forward-looking; somehow she'd known that Mai might some day have need of this little chest of death, and that she'd have the constitution to actually use its contents.
"You never know, Mai, you never know," had been Azula's only answer when her friend, stunned and confused, asked her why she thought she could possibly want vials of poison as a birthday present.
Now, she understood. You never know. Well, she knew now.
Leaning over, she reached for her cosmetics. She knew, and soon Zuko would know as well.
oOo
Katara rushed into her room, clothes dripping, face bright red, hair streaming behind her like a dark wave. She'd waved aside offers of towels and hot baths and questions by the servants she passed, too disconcerted by that moment in the courtyard to be able to think about anything else.
She leaned against the door and let out a tremulous sigh. Zuko had been watching her. Zuko had been as soaked as she was, standing out in the downpour on his balcony, staring down as she danced with the rain, her clothes plastered to her body just as his were plastered to him…
Her blush deepened. She'd stared right back at him, entranced by the sight of his muscular chest. He hadn't a man's body, not yet, but the one he was developing was more than good enough for her, thank you very much. And she hoped against hope that his view of her had been equally appreciated.
Could it be? No, impossible, she was reading things into a simple shared moment in the rain. Zuko was with Mai; she'd seen them holding hands after the ceremony yesterday, had seen the way Mai looked at him. Of course, she considered, they'd also seen her holding hands with Aang, and look how that had turned out.
Her heart was hammering in her chest, and a tremulous smile kept breaking out no matter how she tried to school her features. He'd been watching her, and he'd continued to watch her when she caught him at it. He hadn't turned away, he'd locked gazes and it was she who'd moved first to break that gaze.
"Great," she muttered to herself. "If he is interested, now he probably thinks I'm not." How to handle this unexpected dilemma? Should she just confess and see what he said? But what if she was completely misinterpreting the situation? What if she was just giving in to wishful thinking? "At least he knows I'm not in love with Aang," she murmured to herself, stepping away from the door. Small comfort, but the best she could come up with at the moment.
A light tap on the door startled her; could it be…She rushed back and flung it open, blinking in surprise at who she saw standing there. "Can I help you?" she asked politely, and then there was pain, and the world tilted and she fell into blackness.
oOo
Zuko was changing into clean, dry clothes when a knock sounded at the door to his private chambers. He sighed and went to open it, tossing the clean tunic he'd been about to don on the nearest chair. Today was supposed to be a day to himself, a day of respite before he had to face the remainder of his life as Fire Lord, but he should have known it was too good to be true. There were too many people clamoring for his attention, too many treaties and claims for reparations and decisions that demanded his attention. He supposed he should be grateful he'd had half the morning to settle into things. Just as he was grateful that his office was part of his personal suite and so easily accessible when an unexpected change of clothes was needed.
"What is it?" he snapped as he wrenched the door open, then stepped back, stammering an apology. "Mai! I'm sorry, I didn't expect, I thought it was…Is there something you need?" He finally gathered himself enough to ask.
She tilted her head inquiringly. "May I come in?"
He took another step back, one hand on the door handle, the other gesturing for her to enter. "Of course."
He shut the door behind her after peering cautiously down the hall and seeing no one. It was an impropriety for him to have a girl in his private chambers, but this was the sitting room, not the bedroom, and the office was through the room's other door if he needed to hustle her away, and nothing was going to happen. Besides, it was Mai's reputation that would bear the brunt of any gossip…he caught himself on that thought, chastising himself for his callousness. "You know you shouldn't be here," he began, regretting the impulse to allow her in, but she held up a hand to his lips, silencing him.
"It's all right, Zuko, I won't stay long enough for anyone to think we were doing anything we shouldn't be. Besides," she added, "no one saw me. I made sure of that."
He studied her carefully. Something was different about her, and not just because he knew she was mad at him. She'd made herself up as if for an important event, that was it. Her lips were redder than nature had ever intended, her eyes outlined in kohl and the lids emphasized by some sort of dark, smoky cosmetic he didn't know the name for. "You look…very nice," he said cautiously.
Her lips deepened into a smile. "Thank you. I just came by to tell you I'm leaving."
He should have expected as much. "Are you going home?" Her parents must be furious with him.
She shook her head, still smiling. It unnerved him, that smile; Mai never smiled this much, and to smile when he knew she was angry…it wasn't a good sign. "No. I've decided to do some more traveling, see a bit of the world when I'm not trying to help conquer it. I just wanted to say good-bye."
He noticed her clothing then, the clothing that definitely didn't go with the carefully made-up face she was sporting, just as the simple pair of braids she'd wound her hair into didn't go with it. She was wearing a plain tunic and pants tucked into calf-high leather boots, all black, her favorite color. Her blades were strapped to her hips in plain sight, another incongruity; usually she kept them hidden. "Where are you going?" he started to ask, but she placed her fingers over his lips again.
"Don't worry about me, Zuko, I'll be fine." Her eyes flashed with some undefined emotion, and he felt a cold shiver try to make its way down his spine. She stepped closer, so they were almost touching along the lengths of their bodies. "I just want one favor from you." She leaned even closer. "Just a good-bye kiss," she breathed, placing her hands on his shoulders. "You owe me that much."
He owed her more than that and would have made the offer if he didn't think she'd turn him down. She wanted no titles, no money, nothing from him at all; her pride would force her to say no even if she did want them. Which she would never admit, one way or another. If all she asked of him was a kiss, then he would give it to her, and gladly, for the sake of what they'd once shared, in apology for shattering her dreams and breaking her heart. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.
They parted beneath his, her tongue darting into his mouth, deepening the kiss, her hands clutching the damp fabric of his tunic, holding him in place. He put his hands on her elbows to steady himself, and she responded by molding herself desperately against him, pressing her body to his.
When he tried to pull away she tightened her hold, fingernails digging through the fabric of his shirt and deep into his skin. He gave a muffled yelp of pain, then a louder one as she suddenly sank her teeth into his lower lip, biting hard enough to draw blood. Only then did she release her grip on him and pull away, watching as he stared at her in outrage, tongue darting out to taste the blood still flowing from his split lip. "Mai! What the hell was that?"
"That was me saying good-bye," she replied, carefully wiping the blood from her lips with a scrap of cloth she pulled out of her waistband. She also removed every trace of the bright red lip covering that hadn't been kissed away, as she watched him through narrowed eyes. "Don't you have anything to say to me?"
Zuko opened his mouth to respond, then closed it as a sudden bout of dizziness overcame him and a rushing noise filled his ears. He swayed, staring at her, then dropped heavily to his knees as the world tilted around him. "What did you do?" he managed to ask before a tightness in his throat closed off further words.
"I told you never to break up with me again," Mai replied coolly. "But you didn't listen. Now you and your little Water Bending girlfriend will just have to pay the price." She bent over him as he sagged to his side, his head hitting the floor with a painful thump. "Azula always knew the right gifts to give a friend."
Zuko gasped for breath, reaching out for her, watching through the mist that filled his eyes as she walked across the room and closed the door gently behind her.
