Neal was very bored. Kirk still hadn't come back and there were only so many times one could explore a small room before it got old.
Voices came from outside the door and Neal sat up straighter, waiting.
"I told you, Captain Kirk told me to go in there!" An angry voice declared.
"I'm sorry, sir, but he'll have to confirm those orders himself."
"Fine." There was more talking that Neal couldn't quite make out, then, "Are you satisfied now, Lieutenant?"
"Yes, Doctor," the guard's voice said, sounding surly. The doors slid open and a man walked in. He rolled his eyes slightly as they closed behind him then examined Neal, who was now standing slightly warily.
"You look human."
"I am human," Neal said.
"So I've heard," the man said in a dry voice that held a hint of southern drawl. "But I don't believe everything I hear."
"Suit yourself," Neal said with a shrug. He extended his hand. "Neal Caffrey."
"I know," the man replied shortly, shaking the hand. "McCoy. Doctor Leonard McCoy."
"Nice to meet you, Doctor," Neal said.
McCoy made a noncommittal sound as he set a case on the small table and opened it up. "I should've done this right when you were captured-" Neal scowled slightly at the word. "But I was busy. So, if you wouldn't mind?" The man's voice was brisk as he picked out a small gray instrument and looked at Neal.
"What?" Neal wasn't entirely sure what the Doctor wanted him to do. And all these mysterious tools they seemed to have around made him very uncomfortable.
"Sit down," the Doctor said with a bit more patience than before. Neal hoped his worry wasn't showing on his face, but given the sudden attitude change from McCoy he decided it probably was. "I'm just going to scan you. See if you are who you say you are."
"Oh." Neal didn't really know how to respond to that, so he just sat in the chair McCoy pulled away from the table into the middle of the room. McCoy moved over with a small screen in one hand and the gray device in the other.
"I should be doing this in sickbay," McCoy muttered, mostly to himself. "But this will have to do." Neal sat silently, trying not to fidget as he was scanned by the Doctor.
"Hm." Neal twisted to see McCoy's thoughtful expression. "I'll need to get a blood sample," the man said to Neal as he saw him watching.
"Alright," Neal said slowly. He knew he didn't really have a choice either way, and agreeing voluntarily would be much less painful (and less humiliating) than having one of the security details make him comply. A large part of his mind hoped the would-be McCoy had some actual medical training.
"Roll up your sleeve," McCoy said shortly as he picked up another shiny medical tool. Neal did so and held out his arm. It was surprisingly less painful than traditional needles were. After a few moments of quiet from the Doctor, Neal heard him speak.
"McCoy to Kirk," he said.
"Kirk here." The Captain's harassed-sounding voice seemed to be coming from the small box McCoy was holding.
"If you're not too busy, I'd suggest you come down here." He didn't specify where here was, but Kirk seemed to understand.
"I'll be there in a minute, Bones. Kirk out." Neal watched McCoy close the communicator and gave the man a curious glance.
McCoy noticed the look after a moment and lifted an eyebrow.
"Good news for you, you're not lying," the Doctor said, putting his medical tools away.
"I knew that," Neal muttered. McCoy rolled his eyes.
"Fine, good news for you, now we know you're not lying."
Kirk took a bit more than a minute to arrive, and when he did he was slightly out of breath.
"What were you doing?" McCoy asked.
"Nothing important," Kirk said with a slight shrug. "Now, what did you find out?"
"It appears that everything he's told about himself is true," McCoy said, crossing his arms at Kirk's non-answer.
"Even-" Kirk stepped closer to McCoy and lowered his voice slightly, but Neal could still hear him. "Even the time thing?"
"From the tests I ran, yes," McCoy replied. "Now, if you'll excuse me," he said sarcastically, "I have other things to do."
"Aw, Bones," Kirk said with a teasing grin. "It's lunch time. You're not going to work through lunch time, are you?"
"Yes," McCoy said with a brief nod, picking up his case. "I'm going to eat in sickbay. I have work to do."
"Fine," Kirk shrugged slightly. "You go do your important doctor-things." McCoy rolled his eyes with a slightly amused look and left Neal's current room.
"He can be so boring sometimes," Kirk told Neal conspiratorially. Neal once again felt the urge to laugh at Kirk's comments, and this time he did. Kirk looked Neal up and down.
"I'm not even going to try to guess how you got here," Kirk said, shaking his head with a puzzled expression. "Maybe Spock would have a better hypothesis. However, for now, would you come eat lunch with me?" Kirk's expression vaguely resembled a puppy-dog and Neal laughed again.
"Sure. I'd like to see more of the ship," Neal said with a smile.
"I'm sure that could be arranged," Kirk said with a raised eyebrow. He grinned. "Now that we know you're not here to commandeer it, or anything like that." Neal stood up, tilting his head slightly to one side.
"Didn't you know that already, after the lie detector?"
"Technically, yes," Kirk said, shrugging. "But it never hurts to have Bones and his medical expertise confirm something."
"That makes sense." Neal put his suit jacket back on and followed Kirk out the door.
xxxxx
"Okay," Kirk said with a grin. "We'll start on the bridge, since that's the most important part of the ship. Well-" he paused. "Scotty would tell you it's engineering, but we'll start on the bridge anyway."
"Okay," Caffrey said. "Who else is on the bridge?"
"Sulu, Chekov, Uhura, Spock," Kirk ticked them off his fingers. "Maybe a few other people."'
"Will they mind?" Caffrey inquired.
"Hm." Kirk thought for a moment as they entered the lift. "Sulu and Chekov? Nah. Uhura, maybe... Spock?" Kirk grinned. "Definitely. But I am the captain, so I think we'll be okay."
"Right." Caffrey's grin held a hint of anticipation. They exited the lift onto the bridge. Kirk looked immediately at Spock, trying to predict exactly which raised-eyebrow-look he'd get. And... he was right! It hadn't been a hard guess, though, so he supposed he couldn't feel too triumphant.
"So, Mr. Caffrey, this is the bridge," he said, gesturing around. Caffrey looked around, nodding slightly. "And that's Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura." He pointed to each as he introduced them.
Sulu nodded and Chekov gave a puzzled smile. Uhura rolled her eyes with a slightly amused smile and turned back to her station. "And that's my first officer, Commander Spock." He turned his head to Caffrey and added quietly, "Don't worry about the disapproving frown, that's generally his normal expression around me." He saw Caffrey restrain a grin and felt rather pleased with himself.
"Keptain." Chekov tilted his head politely. "May I ask who zis is?"
"Certainly, Mr. Chekov," Kirk said with a grin. "This is Neal Caffrey, he's going to be our guest for a while."
"Oh. Zen, it is nice to meet you, Mr. Caffrey," the young ensign said with a brief nod. Caffrey nodded with a friendly grin.
"Likewise, Mr. Chekov," he said. Kirk walked over to the center of the bridge and Caffrey followed him.
"This is my chair," Kirk said with a smile that was only slightly smug. "That's the viewscreen and the helm."
"Nice," Caffrey said. Kirk glanced around and saw Spock observing him with a look that clearly said, A word, Captain?
"Ensign Chekov," Kirk said, giving Spock a slight nod.
"Yes, Keptain?"
"Take Mr. Caffrey down to those viewing windows on deck six."
"Yes, sir," Chekov said with his typical enthusiasm. Caffrey gave Kirk a curious look but Kirk just shrugged.
Caffrey followed Chekov off of the bridge and Kirk walked over to Spock's station.
"Yes?" Kirk asked.
"Captain," Spock said slowly, "are you certain that it is wise to be spending time conducting tours of the ship for someone we still know very little about?"
"No," Kirk said with a grin. "I'm not certain it's wise. But I don't think it's unwise either. And it's fun."
Spock quirked one eyebrow slightly. "If you say so, Captain."
A/N: Aw, only one chapter left after this. It wasn't all that long, just a short fun story. Well, thanks, guys for your reviews! Including Anna, who I can't thank individually. *sigh* I figured out the crossover thing, but at this point I'll just leave it here. So, yep... Good stuff.
