THE MONSTER WITHIN-CHAPTER 3
"Getting right to the point are we?" He's always kind. He treats everyone like his own child. He's everyone's father, except for mine. He told me about my mother when I was young. She was a Hylian and he didn't know who my father was.
"Just tell me. You're old enough to know about me. I need to know everything." I looked into his eyes as I said this. He looks back at me like he's testing me, to see if I'm nervous or maybe to make sure I really want to know. It couldn't be that bad.
"Everything? You may not like what you hear." He is testing me, I can't waiver from this.
"…" What does he mean I won't like what I hear? This is why I'm asking, to know! "Yes."
"Very well. I'll tell you this one the one condition that you do me a favor after you know about yourself." He must be joking, he probably just wants me to go deliver a message to someone or to find a Deku Shrub…easy.
"Ok, it's a deal."
"Then I'll start by telling you about the Goddesses."
"I already know about the Goddesses."
"Who told you about them? Oh wait, I did. Well, anyways…Link, you are the hero of time, which you already knew. But did you know you were incarnated?" Incarnated? "The soul of the hero of time has been reborn over and over for hundreds of thousands of years. You, Link, are the incarnation of the hero of time. Have you noticed that the first time you met Ganon or Zelda, that you've met them before? You slightly remember them but they have no recollection of you."
"Why don't they remember me?"
"I've wondered that myself. I've thought about it over the years. I've watched over you and found no answer, only a theory. I think that over the years, they've wanted to forget. And that you, Link, always want to remember, because you fear to be forgotten. I think that is one of the reasons that you keep being incarnated, so you will never be forgotten. That, and the fact that you started off wanting to save your friend, Zelda. She was captured by Ganon, who was, at the time, an evil criminal who had escaped from an eternal imprisonment. He was sent there because Zelda accused him of killing her father. She gathered up some guards and seized him, threw him in jail, and he escaped, which led to him kidnapping Zelda and you setting off to rescue her. You didn't save her in time, and you died shortly after fighting Ganon. The Goddesses saw you courageous act and gave you the power of courage to have and to carry forever, which forever meant that you, Zelda's, and Ganon's lives would be reborn." Wow, that is a lot to take in. It's true, I don't like what I hear. I don't want to know the fact that I'll be reborn again forever. Why does everyone want to forget about their life? Do they not want to remember me? Am I that repulsive?
"Is that all you know?"
"No Link, there is more. Every life that you have started, you've slowly changed. You've become more depressed, angry, and other negative emotions. I've been wondering if something has been bothering you." Bothering me? I can't even remember my past lives, so how can I know if something is bothering me? But I do know what's bothering me, it's that people don't like me and now I find out that they want to forget me! That I've ever existed!
"I can't think of anything that's bothering me."
"Then why now did you want to ask me about your life?" Yes…why? Why now? Why did I want to ask him if I never wanted to before and didn't necessarily care about it? I remember now, I wanted to ask why people never want to be around me. Did he answer my question? I'm not sure if he did, but I'm so confused. I think he did, he said people wanted to forget, but why?
"Why don't people want to remember me?"
"…"
"Answer me Deku Tree! Why don't people want to remember me? Why don't they want to be near me?"
"…Because…I…made it so they wouldn't be around you." He said this as me looked cold-heartedly at me. That scares me, that he can just say that with to expression, I've never seen him like this. Why would he do that? Isn't he the protector of the Kokiri? Of everyone who lives here? Why is he weeding me out?
"Why in the hell would you do that? Why?" I feel my hands start to shake and my whole body getting hot just from my anger boiling.
"I wanted to see if you would grow up to be different from your past lives. I also don't want you around the Kokiri, you'll endanger them. It's not like you'll remember me doing it anyways." That's just sick. Playing with my life? Does he think I'm just something to throw away? And how can I endanger them? I've lived with them and I've never put them in danger, they're my friends, whether they want to acknowledge it or not.
"How long have you been doing this? And why can't I be around them?" Has he been doing this for every life I've had?
"I just started doing it. I thought it could help you but I see that you become more negatively emotional. Remember that I asked a favor from you? This is that favor…I don't want you near the Kokiri because of your current state. I've realized I made a mistake in your current life and I won't make the same mistake in your next one. I need you to leave."
"…Leave? This is my home! And, on top of this, you're going to mess with my next life? So you're just going to reject me too? Throw me away just like my mother did, even my unknown father?"
"Li-"
"You're going to ignore me like everybody else does? Pretend I don't even exist? Well guess what, I do exist. I'm here…right here! In front of you! Do not just think you can get rid of me so easily!" I need my existence to burn into his memory.
"Link! What are you doing?" I am going to burn my existence into you, so you'll never forget. I'll use Din's Fire to burn you.
"Gaahhh! Link! Stop this nonsense!"
"NONSENSE? WHAT PART OF THIS IS NONSENSE? YOU MESSING WITH MY LIFE IS NONSENSE! YOU, NOT ME!" His leaves catch fire easily because he is old. I turn from him and start to walk away, hearing him scream in pain and agony sort of tickles a new side of me, a sadistic side. I just want him to feel what I feel. I need to go somewhere where I can calm down. I'll go to where I defeated Ganon…that should be far enough away from people. I just can't believe that the whole world is against me…While walking to the destroyed Hyrule Castle, I don't call for Epona because I want to take my time, to think about things. This gives me the opportunity to cut down anything that gets in my way, fueling my rage even further. I get to the bridge and notice it's broken. Now I have to get wet, that just pisses me off even more. It usually wouldn't bother me but the fact being the water is higher than usual, so it's a bit above my waist. I should have taken Epona, dammit! That's ok, I'll just dry off later…still pisses me off though. I get to the castle and remember defeating Ganondorf, and remember how in his dying moment, while he drew his last few breaths, he collapsed the castle, hoping to kill Zelda and I. So now, only the top of the castle is visible, which is also collapsed so it looks sort of like an arena of sorts. There are parts of the ruined place scattered over all over. I walk up to a piece and start to hammer everything. I hit the first piece I find once, twice, eight times and it won't give way.
"Why won't you just break? You a piece of shit! Just go away! Nobody wants you here, you're worthless!" I say this as I stop using the hammer and use my fists.
"Fuck you Deku Tree! You're the one who fucked up my life! And the people who I thought were my friends don't want to be near me! Fuck all of you! I hate you!" My knuckles start to bleed from hitting the rubble and I start to cry. Not from the pain of my fists, but from the pain of people. I can't trust anyone. I'm always going to be alone. Weakly, I hit the rock, probably from using up most of my strength, and I cry even more.
"I want to be noticed." With that, I get on my knees and cry, feeling a hand on my shoulder.
