Author's Note: Elsa will turn up, I promise. She has already been introduced, though…
When Anna stepped out of Arendelle the next day, Hans was outside Netherfield, fixing the new house sign onto the side of the building.
She took a minute to admire his figure.
He even does the house work… this man is not afraid to get his hands dirty! So attractive...
In fact, Hans was working so hard that he didn't appear to have heard Kai close the door.
Anna had not yet been spotted.
A fantastic idea occurred to her.
I'm going to run round to his side and surprise him!
Anna was not afraid to work hard, either. Though their houses were but a short distance apart, she ran like she had never ran before (well, she had never run before…)
At the last second, legs pumping and arms swinging, Anna had the craziest desire to ruffle Hans' hair-
THWACK.
Watching from the window, Kai debated burning that parasol.
'Are you okay?' Anna cried.
'You just scared me a little,' Hans laughed, rubbing the back of his head. 'That's quite a weapon you have there!'
'I just raised my arm without thinking, I forgot I was holding it,' Anna moaned, 'I'm sorry. I just wanted to surprise you!'
'Well, you certainly achieved that. Are you ready for a tour of my humble abode?'
Anna grinned. 'I am indeed. Can we start with your new sign?'
They both looked at it, Hans in admiration, Anna in wonder.
'What does "Das Leben" mean?' she asked.
'The Life,' Hans whispered, and they smiled at each other.
Anna swooned.
He named his house "The Life", that's so romantic… wait…
Anna giggled. 'The second part looks like it says "Ruin", or "Ruiner", or something.'
Hans laughed. 'You speak Almain?'
'I'm willing to learn, if you'll teach me.'
Hans showed Anna round all the rooms in the house. They took a walk in the grounds, read in comfortable silence in the library, challenged each other to a very tense game of Lottery Tickets (Hans couldn't hide being a sore loser). All in all, Anna couldn't ask for anything else.
And then her stomach growled.
'Somebody hungry?' Hans teased. 'I'll make us some lunch.'
'You don't have a Cook?' Anna blurted out. 'But you're rich!'
'Have you seen anyone in this house except me?' Hans pointed out. 'Servants gossip. I prefer to do it all myself. Cooks are incompetent, anyway, they never listen to your demands.'
Anna blinked.
She thought Hans enjoyed gossip.
He had clearly had a bad experience with cooks. Her own was practically an old friend by this point.
'It'll be ready in an hour,' Hans said, rising from his seat. He picked a stray card up from the floor. 'Hopefully I will be more successful in cooking, than playing games against you,' he joked.
Thankfully, he had disappeared before Anna had time to say 'I've had a lot of practice playing games against myself, that's what happens when you're orphaned!'
It would have really killed the mood.
Even though she wasn't sure what the mood was.
Though he was his usual, cheery, good-natured self, there was something restless about Hans today.
Kai had told Anna over breakfast that he believed Hans had an ulterior motive.
It was not the done thing in respectable society to invite a young woman over alone with no other guests.
Anna was kind of done with respectable society.
'He can't want me for my money,' she'd pointed out. 'It's hardly enough for me alone!'
Maybe Hans wants to marry me, she thought to herself, and that's why he's acting slightly odd. We can live happy ever after…
What man proposes so fast? Not one that could be trusted!
Anna groaned.
Her inner conscience sounded like Joan.
It was deeply unlikely that he would propose today, anyway.
But he did.
Anna froze, soup spoon lifted to her mouth, as Hans got down on one knee beside her.
'Anna,' he breathed.
Anna was torn.
Half of her was squealing with joy.
The other half was worrying about the soup getting cold. She was so hungry-
'Will you marry me?'
Food was forgotten.
'Of course I will,' Anna said, welling up. 'I love you!'
'I love you, too,' Hans said, slipping the ring onto her finger.
Thankfully, as day turned into night, sun turned into rain, and then storm, and Anna didn't need to make up a reason to stay over at Hans' house.
In Almany, Hans said, they were a little bit unconventional, compared to somewhere like Great Britain.
For instance, he said, couples often slept together before they were formally married.
The Church may view it as a sin, but if two people loved each other, and no one knew about it, where was the harm?
Anna agreed completely.
She liked this kind of 'unconventional'.
It didn't hurt, but Anna thought that was down to her being really, really up for it, rather than any particular effort on Hans' part.
Her mother had warned her not to expect much from her first time.
She'd also said that it would solidify the union between husband and wife…
Panting above her, Hans was acting like Anna wasn't even there.
Wasn't "lying on your back whilst he just goes at it" the very definition of convention?
Anna was bored.
If Hans hadn't recoiled in horror after he'd put a hand on her inner thigh and realised it was wet, she would have no issue reaching a hand between her legs (in between thrusts) and sorting things out for herself.
Hans stiffened, and then gasped.
Anna felt hot liquid inside her.
Hans collapsed onto the pillow beside her, and fell asleep.
Anna sighed.
Think positive. We've got a whole lifetime together. I'm sure he'll spice up a little once I show him my books…
Oh, I know which one I'd show him first…
She'd just… finished… when Hans woke up.
'Hi,' Anna said, quickly wiping her hand on the pillow.
'Hi,' Hans smiled. 'How big is your fortune, exactly?'
It seemed a bit of an odd topic for post-coital discussion, but what did Anna know.
Anna told him the amount.
'And… how much do you get when you turn 21?'
He looked a little nervous.
'That's the full amount I'm entitled to, if my cousin is very kind!' Anna said. 'I don't expect to get that much, to be honest.'
'...I see.'
Hans turned away from Anna to reach for a glass of water.
He sounded… horrified.
Anna couldn't see his face.
'Hans?' she whimpered, feeling suddenly vulnerable.
He faced her again, and Hans looked relieved.
'This makes me feel much more at ease,' he said, taking Anna's hand in his own. 'You see, I don't have that much money, either. I never thought you'd take more than a passing interest in me, poor as I am.'
Anna laughed. 'So modest! You must be rich to afford such a place as this!'
Hans winced.
'I owe a lot of money,' he admitted.
Anna stared at him.
'I have many debts to pay back- and I will pay them back- you see, Anna…'
She waited.
'At first I thought you were perfect, because you were pretty and funny and so rich, and you could pay off my debts for me. Now, however, I see that you do not have much money, but that is even better, because we can work together to pay it off! You must have some jewellery of your mother's to sell?'
'We can work together?' she repeated, uncertain.
'Yes! I'm sure you're a dab hand at all those womanly pursuits- you can paint, for example, and we'll sell them under my name!'
Anna was speechless.
Hans cradled her in his arms.
'My darling,' he said, 'you're looking at this from the wrong angle. I wasn't looking to take advantage, or to use you. I just want the best life for our children, Anna, because you are the love of my life and our children must have only the finest!'
'Our children,' she repeated, heart lifting. 'Our children!'
'Our children,' Hans said, and then he fell asleep again.
Anna laid her head down on his chest, smiling, Everything was going to be perfect.
Anna awoke at the sound of a front door being slammed shut.
She heard a horse whinny.
Who calls a carriage at this hour?
Sleepily, she rubbed her ring finger with her left han-
The wedding ring was gone.
Anna sat up.
The bed was empty.
Her life was ruined.
