No boring intro this time. Here's the next chapter.


Pierce had set up a gourmet steak lunch in what appeared to be a fancy looking conference room with posters of upcoming attractions displayed on the walls.

"And we can charge $2,000 a day, maybe even $10,000 a day," Alan was price planning. "A place like this is guaranteed to make a fortune."

"Yeah but regular people like us can't afford to pay that," Britta reminded. "This park isn't just for rich people. If you want it to be open to the general public you should keep the price in the hundreds at least."

"Clearly you don't know how to run a business. I suppose we could have a…coupon day or something."

"I still think this is a bad idea," Abed spoke. "I know these kinds of scientific breakthroughs are cool, but are they really a good idea? Just because this can be done does it mean it should be done?"

Pierce scoffed. "What if we were doing this with endangered animals like a panda or a blue-footed booby," Pierce chuckled. "Heh, booby. Anyway, would you have any objections to saving those species?"

"It's different; nature selected dinosaurs for extinction."

"What baffles me," Annie began, "is how can you know anything about an extinct ecosystem? I mean, how could you ever assume you can control it?"

Britta nodded, wanting to add more. "Yeah, and as an avid plant lover-"

"Pfft," Jeff interrupted, "you kill any plant you come in contact with."

Britta quickly flipped him off before continuing on. "I noticed that some plants on this island are poisonous. If a dinosaur eats them they could die."

Shirley raised her hand to speak her mind. "I'm curious to know how dinosaurs are going to survive with humans on the island. I mean, they're not as evolved as humans. We have no idea what to expect."

"Unbelievable," Pierce was offended, "the only person on my side is the bloodsucking, certified lawyer with no hair," Alan frowned at that while Jeff let out a small, satisfied laugh. "Is anybody here on my side?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm on Pierce's side," Jeff admitted.

"Thank you Jeffrey."

"Yeah, this place seems pretty awesome," Troy also sided with Pierce and Jeff. "I know I'm not the only one who's ever wanted to interact with dinosaurs."

"And if Jeff supports this place I see no reason why I can't," Craig added.

Chang finished swallowing his food. "I like the food here. I support this place."

Pierce smiled. "Well, six for and four against."

"I didn't say I was against Jurassic Park," Annie pointed out. "I just asked a question. We all asked questions; that doesn't automatically decide we're against the park."

"I thought I made it clear that I am I against it," Abed interjected.

Rider Black entered the room. "Pierce, the cars are ready."

Pierce clapped his hands with delight. "Fantastic." He stood up. "If you'll all follow me outside so we can begin the tour. Oh, and I'm unaware of how long the tour will actually be so there will be a tall glass of water waiting in the cupholders. And three to a car please." Pierce led them outside to where the cars were waiting.

"Uh…there are only two cars," Troy pointed out the obvious.

"Yes, I know. Six of you will be viewing the tour from the electric cars and three of you, myself included, will be monitoring things from the control room."

"Yeah, I like my first option," Jeff opened the passenger side to the second door and got in.

Troy happily hurried to the first car, Annie shrugged and followed Troy, and- wanting to be in the car with the cute brunette- Alan followed Annie completing the three to a car request for the first car. Britta sighed and walked over to the second car.

Pierce stopped the dean from getting into the second car and turned to Abed. "Why don't you join them on the tour there A-bed?"

"I'd really rather not," Abed declined.

"Sheesh A-bed, this isn't like the movie. You're going to see more on the tour than you will from inside. Besides, I might as well have my minorities and academic advisor with me for the seal of approval."

Shirley narrowed her eyes at Pierce. "Minority?"

Pierce seemed to have ignored her. "Go on A-bed." Abed sighed and reluctantly got in the backseat beside Britta. "Well, now that that's settled, the rest of you can join me in the control room," Pierce led the way inside to the control room where various staff members were discussing potential weather conditions. According to the conversation, the National Weather Service was tracking a storm seventy-five miles west of Hawthorne Isle.

"Oh my, that doesn't sound very pleasant."

"No storm has ever hit Hawthorne Isle. It's most likely gonna hit south of us like last time. Oh Starburns!"

The man in the chair with a top hat and stars for sideburns turned around. "My name is Alex."

"Starburns, you're still alive?" Pelton was referring to Starburns supposed death in a meth lab explosion. "And you're blonde?"

"First off, my name is Alex. And yes, I'm alive. I faked my death to finish pursuing a degree in engineering."

"I found him alive and well trying to sell drugs behind an alley in Mexico's Chinatown over Christmas Break," Pierce explained. "We spent some time catching up and he explained his story and I offered him an engineering job here. Starburns, could you please start the tour?"

Starburns clicked a few buttons, and the gang watched on one of the many high definition TVs as the electric cars started moving. The cars were moving down a track toward an enormous gate. When the first car reached a certain point, the doors began to open and you could hear the phrase, "Welcome to Jurassic Park," throughout the compound.

"You see, being in here is better," Pierce picked up a remote control. "Not only can we see the tour, but we can also see this," the interior of the two cars appeared on two TV sets. "If you want, you can also turn on the car's audio and listen in on their conversations."

Everyone was getting excited- though Jeff tried to maintain his cool composure- as the cars approached the area where the Dilophosaurus was.

"One of the earliest carnivores, we now know the Dilophosaurus was actually poisonous. Spitting its venom at its prey causing blindness, and eventually paralysis; allowing the carnivore to eat at its leisure," the tour voice narrated.

"He cheaped out with the narration too," Abed commented. "The narration is the same narration from the movie."

"Who cares," Britta was looking out the window. "Where's the dinosaur?"

"If this is exactly like the movie, we won't see it. The only one who sees the Dilophosaurus is the human villain Dennis Nedry. I'm not sure which one of us is supposed to be like him."

Jeff groaned. "For the last time Abed, this is not like the damn movie. Now shut up; the next dinosaur is the T-Rex."

They kept watching as the cars approached the T-Rex paddock, but there was no dinosaur in sight. "Keep watching," Starburns' voice was heard in both cars. "We'll try to lure it into your vision range."

"Was that Starburns? Isn't he dead?"

A cage was electronically being raised inside the paddock with a chained up goat inside. Once it was at its level, the door opened and the goat stood there for a moment not really being able to go anywhere else. "What cows aren't good enough so know you're gonna feed it goats?" Britta was not too keen on this. "These people are slaughtering innocent farm animals just to keep instinct animals alive?"

"Go eat some tofu, hippie," Jeff quipped as his eyes searched for the T-Rex to no avail. "Hey Pierce, you do plan on having dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour, right?" There was no response as the cars started moving again. Abed and Jeff stared off in boredom as Britta ranted about the mistreatment of the animals here. Rolling his eyes and glancing out the window, Jeff noticed one of the employee jeeps. "Something's up," he exited the car while it was still in motion.

"Jeff, what the hell are you doing?" Britta got out of the car and followed him. And with a reluctant sigh, Abed followed suit. Pretty soon, the passengers of the first car had left the vehicle and were following Jeff. Jeff ignored everyone as he wandered further through the miniature grassland and over to where a sick Triceratops was lying. "Oh my God," Britta hurried over to the sick dinosaur and started massaging near its snout, "what's the matter with her?"

"Honestly, we have no idea," Nurse Jackie, Greendale's former resident campus nurse was tending to the Triceratops. He knelt closer to the dinosaur. "I'm pretty sure it's a little more serious than a tummy ache."

"Nurse Jackie, what are you doing here?" Annie inquired.

"Well after I was fired for my incompetency as a nurse for humans I discovered I'm a better nurse to animals so I applied for a veterinary job and this was the only place that hired me. Anyway, her symptoms include labored breathing and disorientation just to name a few things."

"It's probably from eating a bad plant," Britta suggested. "It's really the only logical explanation."

"Is that so Dr. Spock?" Jeff sarcastically asked her.

"Shut up Jeff." Britta tried to inspect the Triceratops. "Her pupils are dilated."

"Since when are we a doctor?"

"Look, a similar thing happened to my cat Mr. Jingles after he accidentally ate my pot." The group gave her a funny look. "I accidentally mixed up his cat nip and my weed. Look, I think I know what's wrong but I'll need to look at her droppings to be sure."

"Gross."

"I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing."

"That'll be a first." Thunder clapped in the distance startling Troy enough to cling on to Jeff. "Troy, what the Hell?" Troy let go of Jeff. "Thank you."

"Guys, we should probably get back to the cars," Annie suggested.

"You guys head back; I'll stay here with Nurse Jackie," Britta decided.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Please, I've been stuck in thunderstorms before. If things get too bad Nurse Jackie will give me a ride back. Go back to the cars, I'll be fine."

Annie, Abed, Alan, and Jeff turned to go back to the cars but Troy reluctantly stayed behind. "Britta, I'm afraid," he admitted.

"Why?"

"Abed's right, this is kinda like Jurassic Park but with us as the characters. What if the storm shuts down the power and a dinosaur attacks us and I die and never see you again."

"Troy, that won't happen."

"How can you be sure?"

"I'm sure okay," Britta walked over to him and put her hands on his shoulders. "Please trust me when I say that it won't happen."

"Okay."

Britta gave him a kiss. "Now get back to your car."

"Alright," he turned around and headed back to the car. Taking one more glance at his girlfriend, Troy saw Britta waving goodbye to him. He gave a small wave back, and got back into the tour car.

"I didn't expect the storm to complicate things," Chang was standing near the corner talking on his cell phone. "Maybe it'll be a good thing and zap the power or something." He watched to make sure no one was listening. "Look, I snuck on the computer and did what that hacker told me to do to shut everything down. Just ask the captain to give me at least twenty minutes before the boat leaves the dock, alright...Fine, thank you," he hung up his phone and addressed the group. "Hey, do any of you guys want something from the vending machine?"

"Actually," Pelton raised his hand, "I'm in the mood for something chocolaty that'll most likely go straight to my thighs but-"

"Yeah great, be right back," Chang left the control room and snuck into the storage room where the dinosaur embryos were being held.

"Well the tour was a bust," Pierce lamented shortly after Chang left. "Two no-shows, one sick dinosaur, and a tropical storm."

Shirley shrugged. "It could've been worse."

"Uh Pierce," Starburns gestured for Pierce to approach his computer, "the whole security system is shutting down."

Pierce scowled at Shirley. "Dammit Shirley, you just had to say that?"


Some of the scenes in JP are just hard to write for and you gotta dance your way around it. I did have a bit of a struggle there, but I think I worked it out. And I got this done while sick so give me some credit for that too.

I'm sure things will start happening in the next chapter (hint, hint)