Chapter Three: Truths
Mia and I were in the back of the classroom working on our short stories when a bunch of the girls starting whispering and giggling. Every time Elliott walked to another table they'd start doing this, it was much louder this time and it was really starting to irritate me. I'm already having a hard time concentrating on what to write, what is so complicated that Christian couldn't kiss me? I don't know why I'm so fixated on that, that's a lie; I wanted him to kiss me and I know he wanted to kiss me so, why didn't he just kiss me? I look down and see the scribbles on my paper, lines, hearts, a small picture of a beach, and my little tree house with two stick figures reading what looks like a brick but, it's supposed to be a book.
"Whose the other stick figure?"
I jump and turn around to see Christian, bright eyed with a huge grin on his face. I glance at the clock, one.
"What are you doing here?" I try to take the goofy, airhead smile off my face but it wont budge.
"I got done early, your not hot in that long sleeve?" He says hi to Mia and takes a seat on the other side of me, I look around and Mr. Carrick is looking at us smiling, all the girls are gawking in disbelief that Christian is sitting next to me; I turn red again and quickly turn around concentrating on my doodles.
"No, I get cold really easily."
"So, whose the other stick figure?"
I look at him with a knowing smirk and he laughs. We talk about my lack of story that I'm writing and what he was doing with Mrs. Lincoln; I know he's lying about it, I don't know why he feels like he needs to though. I try to bring up his work with 'too blonde' again but he quickly changes the topic, I get he doesn't want to speak about it, I just don't understand why.
"Sweet Ana?"
Am I breathing? Please tell me I'm hearing things, I hear Christian and Mia call my name, asking who that man was.
"He's my step dad, is he walking over here?"
"Anastasia, what's wrong?"
"Is he coming over here?!" The words came out a lot more harsh than I expected, I'm in full blown panic mode when I feel his hand slide on my shoulder and he leans down to my ear, I can't blink or move, and all of a sudden I feel a hand in mine, Christian's; I didn't realize I was squeezing his hand and all of a sudden Christian is standing between Steve and I.
"Hi, Christian."
"Christian? Are you a friend of Ana's?" He shakes his hand, more for territorial reasons than manners.
"Yes, she spent the night with my sister Mia."
"Well, I'm just here to take Ana out for lunch," I feel his hand on my shoulder, forcing me to turn around but, I don't look at him. He'll hit me if I look, a force of habit that he engraved in me; I remember the day he tied me up, he always hit me harder when I looked up.
"Oh? That's too bad, my sister and I were really looking forward to get to know Ana some more. Maybe you can eat lunch with us?"
"Oh, I don't know-"
"That would be a great idea, she's one of my favorite students in here, I'd love to know where her love of books came from."
Carricks voice was a sound of salvation, my breathing started coming back slowly and my body naturally started to relax. I could hear Steve agree but only I can sense the irritation in his voice, the new found disgust in the Grey family and all of a sudden a hand was on my shoulder; I panicked for a moment until I realized it was Christian. I could hear Carrick ask Steve about the Mariners as he led him upfront, I looked back to see them out of ear shot and I turned to Mia.
"Do you think I can stay at your place tonight?"
"Is everything ok?"
"Yea, do you?"
"Of course Ana, I would love to have you over again. I was going to ask you anyways."
I take a deep breath as my body fully relaxes, I know Christian is looking at me but I ignore him and go back to my first sentence. Wow, I really need to get on this story, I have no idea what to write about though.
"Ana, what-"
"Hey, thanks for that." I turn to look at him, "taking the abuse of your hand I mean." I smile trying to be nonchalant and joking but, I can tell he's not buying it.
"What was that about?" He's whispering so Mia doesn't hear but, I can tell he's mad.
"So, Mrs. Lincoln didn't need any help after twenty minutes?"
"I told her I wasn't feeling well and I said that so I can come see you. You, you," He's running his hand through his hair in complete exasperation and I know I struck a nerve. "We'll talk later." He stands up and walks over to Steve and Carrick just as Mr. Grey tells the class to dismiss for lunch. I grab my stuff and before I get a chance, Mia grabs my arms and pulls me back on the chair.
"Ana, friends tell each other things."
"Yea?"
"What was that about? Why did my brother have to rescue you from that man?"
"Mia, that's my mothers husband and Christian wasn't rescuing me."
"I know my brother Ana and I know what it's like to be afraid of someone. Why are you afraid of him?"
I take a deep breath and look at Mia, she looks desperate for answers, lost even.
"I want to tell you Mia, I really do. I just can't talk about it here and you have to promise not to tell anybody. Nobody." I lift my pinkie up in the air and she rolls her eyes but grabs it with hers.
"I promise, nobody. Just tell me one thing, are you ok?"
"It's complicated, I'll tell you everything tonight."
"Sweet Ana, are you ready?" My body tightens again as I feel Steve's hand on my shoulder, he's slowly caressing it; Mia is eyeing him with a look of complete disgust. We get up together and meet Christian and Mr. Carrick at the door, as we head to the lunch area I see Elliott wrapped around some girl from our class and I try to hide my smile. He really does jump from girl to girl, I wonder why, I wonder if Christian is like that too?
"Sweet Ana," I look down as Steve closes in on me. "I missed you last night, your mother has to work late tonight so we get to cat-"
"Actually, I'm having a lot of trouble with this whole creative writing thing, I was hoping Ana could stay the night again?" Mia to the rescue.
"No, I think Ana's mom would really like to see her again."
"She can call, the phones in here."
Before Steve can respond, Mia practically threw me inside the main office and calls out that we'll meet them in the lunch area. I pick up the phone and call my mom's work number, I hope she say's yes. God, please let her say yes. I finally get through and when my mom gets on, I ask if she wanted to spend some more time alone with Steve; I've learned to use her love for romance in my favor. She quickly say's yes and then rushes me off the phone. I turn around to Mia and nod my head as we squeal together in happiness just as Mrs. Grey walks in. Mia quickly asked her mom who said yes and then we slowly made our way to the lunch area. I was glad to see Steve sandwiched between Mr. Carrick and Christian and Mia and I took our seats on the other side of the lunch table. The guys were already talking about stocks and had food already waiting for us when we took our seats. There were times when Steve spoke to me but I kept my head down, even in the safety net of the Grey family I was afraid to break those unspoken rules between the devil and I. Lunch for the most part went ok, we were about to walk in the class when Steve grabs my arms and pulls me aside; Mia and Christian stop and look at him.
"We'll be in momentarily, just wanted to say bye." I can tell they don't want to leave me but Carrick tells them to give us a moment as they walk in the classroom. "What the fuck did you tell them?!" He drags me to a janitors closet and pushes me inside, he doesn't waste any time to pull my pants down and pin me against the wall. "If you tell them Ana, I'll convince your mother to move away from your precious new friends, your bastard Ray, everybody! Do you understand me Ana?!"
I feel one swift slap against my cheek, then the other; his hand slides down and undoes his belt quickly, within seconds I feel the snap of the leather against both cheeks.
"Bend down Ana," he hurls me over a mop bucket and again I feel the snap of the belt, two, seven, eleven times and he finally stops, breathing heavy and panting as he loops his belt again. "Good girl Ana, now wipe your eyes and go back to your class. You better come home tomorrow, you hear me?"
"Yes." I try to keep my composure but, as soon as he leaves I pull my pants back up and break down.
"Ok Ana, what's going on?"
"Nothing."
"You haven't been the same since your step dad talked to you. What happen?"
"Mia, I can't." I turn my head to try and hide the tears, remembering Steve in the janitors closet, the rest of the day was just a blur. I don't remember what Mr. Carrick was talking about, I haven't looked at Christian and I was quiet on the ride back to the Grey's house. I know I should say something but, I know my mom, she'd do anything to make Steve happy. I can't move, not when I finally feel like I belong somewhere.
"Ana please, just talk to me. I'm worried about you."
"Mia, I can't. You don't understand. Please."
I must look desperate because she just sighs and changes the subject to swimming, there's no way I can go swimming so, I'm not real sure why she's bringing it up. A half hour later I'm wrapped in robe next to the dock watching Elliott and Mia splashing each other in the water. I can't believe she has a drawer of bathing suites she never wears, or that all of her bathing suites or two pieces or that she convinced me to go swimming with her and Elliott, this could only get worse if Christian showed up.
"You going in Ana?" A voice from behind me startles my thoughts, of course it's Christian, he must have sensed my discomfort and came to make me even more uncomfortable.
"Uhm, I'm not sure."
"Your not embarrassed about your body are you? Trust me, you have nothin' I haven't seen!" Elliott shouted at me as Mia dunked his head in the water.
"Just ignore him Ana, we all do. Come on in, the water is perfection!" I glare at Mia and then back at Christian, he already has his shirt and shoes off as he dives off the dock. I watch for a little while how perfect they seem and how easy Christian fits in, although something seems different about him, more mature. After a little while of splashing around, Mia asks if I want to go in the kayaks, I politely decline as her and Elliott take off for the boat house. Christian plops down next to me, dangling his feet in the water and looking out into the distance; the sky is turning into the perfect hues of purple, pinks and blues as the sun seems to now be sitting on the edge of the earth, slowly disappearing behind the great water.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"If that was caused by a gym rope, why is it on both arms?
I turn to look at him, panicked and a little irritated; the marks aren't even visible, they look like little marks left by a hair tie. What does he want from me? Why can't he just leave it alone?
"Ana? What are they, I didn't buy your gym rope excuse but I let it slide. What are they from?"
"A rope." I can feel my eyes start to water and I focus on my aggravation to stop myself from getting too emotional.
"How did you get them?"
Oh my God, what does this kid want from me?! I got them from a man who likes to tie me up and torture me! I chuckle a little as I imagine Christian's face if I really just blurted the truth out like that.
"What's funny?"
"You are, why are you asking me about this? The gym rope was heavy, I wrapped it around both of my wrist." I stand up to leave, even more frustrated. Frustrated that I like him, that I want to know more about him, that I want to tell him the truth but I can't. Frustrated that he wont believe my stupid lie and that I'm getting so emotional over this! I stomp off toward the boat house when Christian grabs my wrist and turns me around. "Don't touch me! Don't grab me like that, ever!" I take a step back and look at Christian who doesn't seem shocked by my outburst at all.
"I don't like to be touched either."
"What?" I feel my body relax and now I'm a little confused and intrigued, Christian points to a few scars on his chest and turns around to show me more on his back. How did I not see these? "What happen to you?"
"I'll tell you, if you tell me how you got those." He points to my wrist, I take a deep breath but nod my head in agreement. "When I was younger, my mom lived with her pimp, he used to use my body as an ashtray."
I throw my hand up to my mouth and shake my head in horror.
"Christian, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's horrible."
"Your turn."
"My," I look around to make sure Mia and Elliott are still out in water and I gulp down my nerves, "I used to have a cousin who go his kicks by tying me up." I look in his eyes and I know he doesn't believe me. He just sighs, grabs his shirt and walks back in the house; I want to run after him but I don't. I can't stop him, there's nothing I can offer him that he wants.
The next day Christian goes to too blonde's house without saying bye, Elliott skipped out of our program and Mia and I are sitting in the back again; she's finishing her short story and I'm looking at a blank piece of paper that has a faded first sentence that I've started a dozen times and erased. We're supposed to hand them in today and get them edited for our final draft tomorrow but, I still can't find something to write. The time goes by fast and Mia and I barely talked all day outside of lunch and even then, I barely spoke. Mr. Carrick told me to write about something I know, something I can relate to. I can't believe my summer program gave me homework and even more, I can't believe I have to go back home.
"Sweet Ana!"
I see Steve walking up to Mia and I and my head shoots down quickly; what is he doing here?
"Your mom has to work late again, I got off early just so I could pick you up. I can't wait for you to tell me about your little getaway at casa de Grey." He laughs as he wraps his arm around me and forces us ahead of Mia. I hear Mia say bye but I don't dare to turn around or respond. We walk right pass Mrs. Lincoln and Christian, they both look at us but I don't dare look back. I hear Elena say bye to me and that catches Steve's attention, he turns us around and gives his best charming smile to Elena. She's all confidence talking to him, shaking his hand and introducing herself. I take a quick glance up and see Christians eyes on me, he looks angry. Angry, but why? Stephens arm tightens around me and all I want to do is run up to Christian and beg him to save me, keep me away from this devil; if I knew what Stephen had planned for me that night, I would have.
I sit down and log into my Yahoo IM account:
Miababy0102: where have u been?!
Analikes2read: I've been sick...
Miababy0102: are u ok? we've been worried bout u, u should have called nd let me kno!
Analikes2read: I know, I'm sorry.
Miababy0102: what's ur address? I'm coming over to bring you sumthings
Analikes2read: That's very sweet but that's ok. Are you at the Youth Center?
Miababy0102: yes, we get to use the computer for our final paper.
Analikes2read: Lucky! How have you been?
Miababy0102: good, it's been almost a week Ana, u sure ur ok?
Analikes2read: Yea, I'm alright. I'm really tired and my mom will be back soon, I should get off.
Miababy0102: Christian has been asking bout u...
Analikes2read: Really? Why?
Miababy0102: he's been coming to the program for the last few days, hes always asking y u didn't show up!
Analikes2read: Don't lie to me!
Miababy0102: I swear!
CGrey88 has requested to chat Accept or Decline
*Accept
CGrey88: Where have you been?
Analikes2read: Sick, I'm talking to your sister.
CGrey88: Ana, what's going on.
Analikes2read: I told you I'm sick!
Miababy0102: are u tlkin to him?
Analikes2read: Yes, did you give him my S/N?
"Anastasia? I brought soup, come darling."
Analikes2read: Tell your brother I have to go!
Analikes2read has logged off
I quickly log off and very carefully get up and walk to the kitchen. My whole body hurts and I have to force myself to push the memories of Steve out of my head. I look at my mom and for a second I'm overcome with anger. How can she not know? How is she so blinded by Steve that she doesn't realize how evil he is?
"Mom, I need to talk to you about Steve."
"Isn't he the greatest Ana? You should have seen him when you weren't home, he took such good care of me, he spoiled me rotten!"
I sit down at the dining room table and slowly sip my soup.
"Oh well, maybe I can spend some more time with the Grey's and he'll be able to spoil you more often."
"Ana, whenever you want to spend time with them, that's fine! However, on the weekends I'd like to have you to myself."
"Sounds good mom, I'm getting really sleepy. I'm going to lay down ok?"
I left my mom in the kitchen to herself, it hurt to lay down but, I couldn't stand being outside with her anymore. How does she not see my pain? Isn't there some type of mother intuition that makes her sense my torture? It didn't take long for my already worn out body to fall asleep.
"Ana, I've missed you so much." His voice was hoarse, sweat forming above his brows as he placed my wrist in cushioned cuffs and tied them to the bed frame. "It's summer now so, I have to be careful about your marks. Your mother was wondering why you keep wearing long sleeves. That also means I can't leave any more marks on your back. It's a shame really, I can't wait for winter to come around."
He babbled on about weather and how much he'll miss seeing the bruises on my back. He then pushed my knees up and placed them in another set of cuffs that were connected to the wrist bands. I flushed with embarrassment as my sex was completely exposed to him; I tried moving my legs but the restraints made it impossible. I turned my head to look away from him, tears silently streaming down my face.
"Sweet Ana, today I'm going to start preparing your body for my love. When you get a little older I want to be your first, do you hear me?" I nod, trying to silent my sobs. He lifts an object that looks like a computer mouse without the cord, he tell me to look at it and as I do he switches a button that makes the toy vibrate. "I want you to become comfortable with the reactions of your body."
"Steve please, no."
"Shut up Ana! I'm doing you a favor!" He leans over me and places the vibrating toy against my stomach. "You like that Ana? Tell me you like it."
"I like it." My tears are becoming harder to hide as he slowly moves down my stomach, to my hips and then around my pelvis. My body knows that it should be feeling pleasure but it rejects it.
"I want to fuck you so bad Ana, maybe I'll just take a little taste. An appetizer if you will."
"Steve no, please!" In one swift motion he grabs a nearby paddle and smacks me in my hip. I bite my lip to suppress the scream. He kisses the area where the paddle landed and then leads a trail of kisses on my hip and under my thigh, swirling his tongue in slow motions. I jerk forward yelling at him to stop when he bites into my thigh.
"I said shut up Ana! I'll fuck you right now! I'll fuck you until you learn to keep your mouth shut!" He's undoing his belt while I scream at him to stop, he climbs on top of me and pushes his manhood against my clit.
"No Steve please! Stop! Please!" I can't stop yelling and my throat is beginning to hurt. "Somebody help me! Help some-" The next minute I know, Steve fumbles higher on the bed and shoves himself in my mouth, I gag for a moment then chomp my teeth on him as hard as I can.
"You fucking bitch!"
I've never seen somebody look so evil, he grabbed the paddle and as hard as he can he started hitting me with it. There was no specific pattern, just random blows to my thighs, stomach, hips, arms, every area of my body took his abuse. I screamed and screamed for somebody to help me, anybody. When the paddle wasn't enough he grabbed a flogger and whipped me until my thighs and stomach bled.
"Help me! Somebody! Please! Somebody!" My voice started to fade, it grew hoarse until my screams were just whispers and my sobs became painful "help me please, somebody."
"Ana?! Wake up! Wake up Ana!"
I jerked out of sleep reaching for anything, anybody to help. I looked around in a panic until I realized my mom, Christian and Mia staring at me in complete shock and horror. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and tried to get up but the pain hit me like a sack of blocks.
"Ana, you were screaming for help, what were you dreaming of?"
I wanted to tell her, I wanted to tell everybody but I couldn't.
"I was being chased by a dog."
"That's one hell of a dog." My mom laughed it off and helped me up. "Christian and Mia brought you some goodies Ana. I told them they can visit for a little while but, not long."
As soon as she was gone Mia sat next to me and took my hand.
"Ana, I'm going to ask you one time and if you're really my friend, you'll tell me the truth. Were you dreaming of Steve?"
I wanted to say no, tell her the lie I just told my mom a second ago but, I couldn't get the words out; I just fell into her embrace and cried.
