I collapsed. Really? That is pathetic. I am never going to live this down. Mr Cool-Zombie-Dude fainting in the forest? Especially since the Stolls got me on camera wearing a tie die hoody. Rainbow is not my colour(s?), and Piper will never convince me otherwise. Charmspeak has its limits.

Speaking of Piper, she keeps watching me and giggling, or doing this weird smile like I'm a cute puppy that just did something adorable. How am I supposed to maintain my dark, brooding image with all this tie dye and simpering Aphrodite girls hmmm? I'd up the number of skeletons I'm seen with, but I am now under actual 24 hour surveillance. I'm fairly certain my new "bodyguards" are under orders to knock me out should I try anything. It would explain why Rachel looks so pleased (she's surprisingly violent for the host of a 5,000 year old prophetess spirit wearing jeans covered in magic marker). Next time, I suppose they want me to let Will get mauled to death, although considering he's keeping me holed up in here again, I might yet come round to their point of view.

Luckily Mrs O'Leary was alright. I think Percy would actually kill me if I didn't look after his dog, despite the fact she's perfectly capable of looking after herself. Maybe I should get my own hell-hound. I could probably nick a pup next time I'm down under (it would add a whole new level to "my dog ate my homework"). It was getting so boring in here. I mean the Apollo kids and everyone else were really nice, but also super busy, and given the burns patient and the state of some of the new kids who had limped over the threshold, I wasn't really their priority. Since Will was on forced vacation, they were even more rushed than usual. Chiron wasn't even letting him enter the infirmary, since as soon as he did he would take over and start running everything. His second in command, a girl (about 15) called Phoebe, was doing a pretty good job without him, but it was obvious everyone missed Will. I felt a bit guilty that I was taking up a bed that they could really do with giving to someone else, but I had literally no choice in the matter. I had tried to leave but had been stopped pretty abruptly by a kid threatening me with a scalpel. Not sure how that fits into medical ethics. I would raise a complaint, but by camp-standards that was pretty mild. Also that kid was scary.

A 13 year old boy came up with a stethoscope round his neck and examined the chart at the end of my bed. I trusted him more than most of my adult doctors, but it didn't make it any less weird. "Right. Well you've had enough nectar. Any more and you might start smoking."

Great start.

"To be honest, there isn't much we can do. Bed rest, no-

"I got it. No "Underworldy-stuff""

"I didn't know you knew the technical term." The kid smiled at me. I think he's called Liam. I'm bad at names.

"Anyway, bed rest in your cabin and regular socialisation to counteract any lingering effects of skeleton summoning."

One of the oddest diagnoses/prescriptions I'd had. Demigods tend to have weird medical records.

Not too bad then, they were letting me out at least. There was one thing that bothered me though.

"What exactly counts as regular socialisation?"
"Well none of the emo isolation stuff you've been doing recently," he said, actually reading off the chart. What exactly had they written on that thing?

"Go to the campfire, attend some of the non-magic related training sessions. Maybe sculpture?"

Not sculpture. Art was not my strong suit. I had stayed safely in stick men territory and was not keen to explore the wild yonder of anything else.

I shook my head vehemently.

"Up to you. We will be monitoring though, so you better attend something." Somehow those words made Liam look a whole lot more intimidating. Big Brother was watching me it seemed. They let me out though, after making me promise to attend the campfire tonight. I better prepare my eardrums.

The campfire was alright. I wasn't particularly in the mood for a sing-along, but the smores were tasty and people stare at me less now. Also, listening to the enthusiasm of the singing is kind of infectious, even if the key isn't. Will wasn't about, which was a bit weird. I hadn't seen him yesterday and was hoping to catch up. The twins were here though, and walking towards me with a worrying sense of purpose.

"So Nico…" said Travis with a wicked grin on his face, "How are you old buddy, old pal, ol' King of the Ghosts, old saviour of the world you?" OK, this is weird. "How would you like to help us with a little something?" Definitely suspicious. "What?" I ask, summoning as much of an air of darkness as I could muster.

"Well, we have a bit of a dilemma" explained Travis, nudging Connor to help him out. I thought of the other times the twins had asked for help. That was a no to summoning a ghost to freak Katie, a no to helping them steal Sue Ellen's potion supplies for a stink bomb (of epic proportions), and a definite no to "borrowing" Cerberus so they could he could pull their chariot in the race. So far so crazy.

"What do you want?" a sighed, affecting my best air of superiority.

"Do you want to be on our team for capture the flag?"

That was actually surprisingly normal (for them). Hermes were the next lot to try their luck against a so far undefeated Athena run. It was really unfair having Percy and Annabeth on the same team. An unfairness they tried to solve by having a team half as big as usual. They still thrashed everyone, and Clarisse was a little bitter about it. I had heard her taking some of her rage out on the practise dummies. We were now out of practise dummies.

"Who else have you got?"

"Well… most of our cabin have been disqualified for what some people have deemed cheating." He waved his hand as if to suggest this was a great injustice, ignoring the attempted sabotage that had led to the big house being stormed in the night by irate party ponies. Hermes pranks tended to be almost as elaborate as Athena plans. Which for those not in the know is twistier than a corkscrew on a carousel.

"And Clarisse is not in a great mood with us since we replaced that boar on the cabin roof with a fluffy, pink pig" added Connor (That was actually pretty funny, although I did add a few curses to stop them doing the same with my skeletons. Hades might get a bit too… involved.)

"And well, the Nike kids are a bit intense with this kind of thing (understatement of the epoch, but carrying on), and Chiron said something about their blood pressure and so they are on a temporary hiatus and Hephaestus kid' aren't great at stealth. Also they said something about an awesome super weapon griffin/T-Rex android…"

"Aphrodite refused cause Piper had already teamed up with Annabeth…" (Piper knows when not to bet on the wrong side)

"Sue Ellen's in the infirmary since the toad incident, so Hecate doesn't like us very much either. Apollo cabin practically lives in the infirmary at the moment…" They seemed to be struggling. I interrupted, to end their misery.

"It's just me isn't it? Against everyone else?"

"In a manner of speaking." They said in apologetic unison. "On the plus side, we each get a bigger portion of the glory"

I'm sure that would be of great consolation to my thoroughly defeated ass.

"Is there anyone else still playing who might join our side?"

"Iris cabin?" suggested Travis

"No, we covered their roof in my little pony merchandise. They hate us" Connor explained.

"But they kept it."

"True brother, very true."

Great. Well I love a lost cause as much as the next demigod. We could be the bold 300 to hold off the hordes (I am aware that story ends in death for all involved, I'm trying to find silver linings in this situation, I'm not used to it).