Author's Note: The 'Truth is a Joke' remains as the second chapter. I don't want to bring back the old one again and confuse you readers. But I'll include the favorable elements in either chapter in the following updates. Thank You.

I know no one cares but I do not own Naruto. Is this disclaimer really necessary?


What's seen cannot be unseen. It should be the official motto of Naruto's life.

He loved it when he encountered beautiful girls in the hot springs and the image of their naked body forever remained embedded in his mind. It couldn't be unseen and god, wasn't he grateful for that. But when people walk into him having sex with a woman, they couldn't seem to remove that image from their minds.

Of course, his was a passion that was memorable and desirable but it didn't help that Kurenai would always think of him as the boy she walked into while he was having sex with another woman. Same was the issue with Yugao.

And he'd be damned if couldn't tap that ass for such a simple reason.

Kurenai, Tsunade, and Shizune were still blushing like school girls by the time they reached the training grounds and Shizune couldn't even meet his gaze. He didn't know sex was such a taboo for medics. And he had some really good nurse and patient role-plays in his mind too. Such a waste.

"So, Naruto," Tsunade cleared her throat to remove any sings of embarrassment from her tone. "You have to perform at least one C-rank genjutsu and resist at least one A-rank genjutsu."

"Child's play," Naruto was looking quite bored as he stood opposite Kurenai.

Tsunade rolled her eyes at his nonchalance. "Okay, brat. You can start anytime you want to."

Kurenai watched as he made the hand signs for one of her favorite B-ranked genjutsu techniques but there was something different about the way he was molding his chakra. Normally, a ninja would release a thin stream of chakra into the surroundings and the enemy's body to alter the perception. But Naruto was blanketing the whole area with his chakra, creating something like a dome around them.

It made sense since he had so much chakra that it's impossible for him to mold his chakra into such a thin stream but she didn't understand what he was trying to achieve by creating a dome of all things.

"Jubaku Satsu – Tree binding death."

As expected, he disappeared from their view and Kurenai was already anticipating a tree sprouting at her feet and binding her. But peculiarly, that didn't happen. Thick vines started rising out of the ground and there were hundreds of them. All she could see around her were green vines creeping on the ground and heading towards the three kunoichi.

They wrapped around her arms and legs, binding her like ropes but it didn't stop at that. The vines slowly slithered down her thighs and arms, tying up her ankles and wrists. She was thinking that it was really useful as binding technique when the vines started stroking her things and breasts. They wrapped themselves around her breasts and womanhood and coiled around them tightly. She released an inaudible moan when the vines started tightening almost painfully but in a distinctly erotic manner.

Only when did she feel her mind getting hazy and her womanhood getting wet did she finally come to her senses. This was a bondage technique! She blushed to the roots of her hair and immediately dispelled the technique with a sharp application of her chakra.

When the world around her became clear, she looked around to find Naruto standing behind Tsunade, with his chin on her shoulder and his eyes on her large breasts. Tsunade was experiencing the same genjutsu but the vines were numerous and coiled even tighter in her case. The vines that wrapped around her breasts made them pop out of her robe, making them seem even bigger and sexier. Naruto had to struggle to keep his eyes away from them. He wrapped her arms around her waist and Tsunade could only stare as the vines started stroking her womanhood.

"Wow, those are heavy," Naruto breathed hotly on her neck as he eyed her breasts.

Tsunade had never blushed harder in her life. Her face was a dark crimson, in a mix of embarrassment, arousal and rage. With a liberal application of her chakra, she dispelled the technique and rounded on Naruto.

"Y-you...You pervert!" Tsunade raised a fist and punched him.

Naruto escaped at the last moment with an extremely fast shunshin and gaped in shock as the earth splintered and shook from her punch. Hail of rocks rained down from the sky and trees fell from the power of her punch. "What the hell, you old hag! Are you trying to kill me?"

"Yes!" Tsunade shouted as she ran at him with another punch.

Naruto shunshin'ed from one position to other, escaping her punches at the last moment. The training ground resembled a battle arena after a minute and Tsunade was breathing heavily in arousal and exertion. Naruto breathed a sigh of relief at not being punched to death but jerked in surprise when a kunai was placed on his neck.

"You better explain yourself, Naruto," Kurenai said with a violent glint in her eye. "That was a...deplorable technique."

"Efficient, you mean?" Naruto smirked but Kurenai pressed the kunai a little harder. "Hey, come on! Did you see how long it took you to break that technique? If I used that on an enemy kunoichi, I could've killed her before she even knew!"

Kurenai could accept the truth in his words. But it didn't mean that she was okay with the blatant violation of her body, even if it was all in her mind. "So you invented this technique with Kunoichi in mind?"

Naruto knew he had to answer carefully. "No! Just imagine what would've happened if the vines wrapped around your neck instead of your...breasts. You can choke someone with it. It's effective on all ninja."

Kurenai thought for a moment before removing the kunai. They were all ninja and in their profession, anything was within limits if you could win. After all, Kunoichi were trained in seduction mission from the moment they were in the academy. But this technique was...dangerous. Not surprising that it's been invented by Konoha's most unpredictable ninja and inventor of the 'Oiroke No jutsu – Sexy technique.'

"Ok, for what it's worth," Naruto turned to face Tsunade and Kurenai. "I'm sorry."

Tsunade huffed, with a light blush on her cheeks and Kurenai nodded sternly. Shizune was looking around in confusion at the tense atmosphere, not knowing what happened as Naruto didn't cast the genjutsu on her. Naruto, who noticed her confusion, walked over to her and placed a hand on her cheek. Shizune involuntarily leaned into his hand and blushed a pretty shade of pink when she noticed this.

"Don't worry," Naruto whispered in her ear. "I'll show you what I showed them...in private."

Tsunade's eye twitched as she observed their little conversation. "I am going to hurt you if you try anything like this on her, brat."

"In case you forgot…not that I blame you for forgetting in your old age," Naruto had to chuckle as she visibly restrained herself from hitting him. "I won our little bet."

"It's easily a B-ranked genjutsu, Tsunade-sama," Kurenai admitted, with a hint of praise in her tone.

"Whatever," Tsunade grumbled. "Let's test a few A-rank genjutsu on him and be done with it."

Kurenai nodded and started making hand signs. "Nehan Shoja no Jutsu – Temple of Nirvana Technique."

White feathers started dropping from the sky, imbuing him with sleep and drowsiness. This must be technique that Kabuto used during the invasion, Naruto thought as his eyelids started drooping in exhaustion. He stood still, drawing a silver of nature chakra and the disturbance caused by the entry of new chakra easily dispelled the genjutsu. "You should know I don't fall to the same trick twice, Kurenai-sensei."

Kurenai frowned as he escaped the genjutsu without much effort. She didn't even notice him molding any chakra to dispel or instilling pain upon himself. But she assumed that since he already experienced this genjutsu once, it must be easy for him to notice its effects.

With a resolute nod, she prepared another genjutsu. "Magen: Haitai Chihyou no Jutsu (Demonic Illusion: Decaying Earth Technique)"

The ground under him collapsed and stormy winds started blowing in the clearing. The earth was like quicksand, sucking him into it. Skeletons and decayed corpses started appearing out of the trees and all of them were people he knew. He saw Haku, with his skin getting peeled off his face and Zabuza with blood dripping from his mouth. Sasuke was burning in black flames while the third Hokage was getting his soul eaten by the Shinigami. He could see all his friends dying around him and Orochimaru holding the corpses of Jiraiya and Tsunade in either hands. He couldn't even move to help them as they were murdered around him.

It really was a terrifying technique and the Naruto of three years ago would already be trashing and crying as he watched his precious people die. But he was not that boy, not even close. The moment the nature chakra in the trees touched his skin, the genjutsu shattered like a fragile piece of glass and the clearing returned to normal again.

"You've got to try harder, Kurenai-sensei," Naruto taunted as he comfortably stood in the same place he was standing at for the past few minutes.

Now, Kurenai's frown was really pronounced. She expected that at least one of her A-rank techniques would ruffle him but he was looking no worse for wear. And she couldn't even understand how we dispelling the genjutsu! From what she heard, he used to fall for even D-rank illusions but did he actually get so much stronger in a few years...or did she get weaker?

She focused herself and made the hand signs for one of her best genjutsu. It was invented by the late second Hokage and it took her a year to perfect. "Kokuangyo no Jutsu (Bringer of Darkness Technique)"

Naruto, knowing that she'd prepare a powerful genjutsu, started drawing in Nature chakra before she even cast the illusion. The moment she finished casting the genjutsu, he released the nature chakra from his body, effectively dispelling the darkness around him. He heard that this technique immerses the opponent in complete darkness and plays with the mind to effectively break the nervous system. He had no intentions of getting caught in that justu.

Kurenai gaped in open-mouthed surprise as he shrugged off her genjutsu like it was child's play. What was happening to her? She was the foremost genjutsu user in Konoha, a prodigy in the illusion arts. And now a genin could break one of her best techniques?

"Powerful genjutsu don't work on me, Kurenai-sensei," Naruto remarked as he observed the bafflement on her face. "The more vivid you make the illusion, the easier it is for me to break it. For it to be effective, the genjutsu should be precise, undetectable and most importantly, unexpected. It should be like a needle you know...I shouldn't even know when it pierced my skin. If can't detect it, I can't break it."

The three kunoichi stared at him like he grew a second head. When did he get so knowledgeable about ninja techniques, much less, genjutsu? Naruto noticed their perplexed stares and flushed in awkwardness. He rubbed the back of his neck as he smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I get passionate when talking about these things."

Passionate, huh? The word rung in Kurenai's ears and bounced around in her head. She was passionate about her art once and at some point, she got complacent; Believing that being the best genjutsu user and a Jonin was enough. But she forgot that there were ninja in the elemental nations who were much more powerful than her, even in the field of genjutsu.

Itachi Uchiha's name came to her mind. How easily did he defeat her three years ago? And how much had she improved since then? Itachi would still be striving to make himself better and here she was, taking a back seat when ninja younger than her were surpassing her.

"...sensei? ….Kurenai-sensei?" She blinked out of her stupor to see Naruto waving a hand in front of her. "You alright?"

'Not really,' was her first thought. 'I just realized how stupid I was.'

"Yes," she lied. "I was just thinking."

"Ah, it's fine," Naruto waved her off. "So, any more techniques you want to try on me?"

"No, you are good," Kurenai smiled. "But I won't say no if you want to be my target practice sometime."

She definitely had to get priorities straight if she had any hopes of being the best ninja at Genjutsu there ever was.

'More time with a smoking hot chick like you?' Naruto giggled perversely in his mind. "Count me in."

Tsunade and Shizune walked over to them, with Tsunade still looking like she was a hair's breadth away from decking him in the face. "So, I guess you are a chunin now."

"It won't be long before I'll be taking that hat from you," Naruto smirked as he crossed his hands behind his head.

Tsunade smiled, happy that despite the way he acted, his heart was in the right place. He wanted to become Hokage to protect the people of the village…

"...And when I do, I'll make shorts and sports bra as the official uniform for every kunoichi," Naruto had blood dripping from his nose as he imagined of all the things he could when he was the Hokage. Not to mention all the sexy female ANBU under his command…

'He's just a degenerate pervert,' Tsunade thought crossly as she gathered chakra into her fist. "You have one second to run."

"What?" Naruto frowned but his heart leaped into his throat when he saw the fist headed his way. He shunshin'ed faster than lightning to escape the fist and yelled back at the busty Hokage. "You can never catch me, Baa-chan!"


Naruto was walking down the Konoha pavements, thinking about how he should celebrate his promotion. A visit to the Hot Springs was not special anymore and he couldn't run all the way back to Kumo to spend a whole day in bed with Mabui-chan. He gave a glance at the Inuzuka compounds as he passed them by and suddenly, a thought struck his mind.

Perversion was a daring art. You never know when calamity strikes you and you had find a way to come out on top; Especially because females were such fickle beings. One must have the courage to weather the storm and conquer fear to be a connoisseur of female beauty.

And if there was one thing Naruto Uzumaki had in spades, then it was courage.

Using his stealth skills that were honed since his childhood by pranking people, he intruded into the Inuzuka compound and made his way to Kiba's house. He slowly crept up the wall and looked into each room to find the person he was searching for. But to his surprise, no one was in the house. He was about to give up when he saw female clothes lying on the bed in the right-most room on the first floor.

He opened the window and landed in the room silently. He looked around for any sign of Hana but a wide smile formed on his face when he heard the shower running. He started filling up the bathroom with his chakra and activated one of the few genjutsu he knew. He actually was passionate about the illusion arts despite his ability to cast most of them. So he found a unique method that could only work for chakra monsters like him. By filling up an area with chakra, he could effect the area the way he wanted by manipulating his chakra.

He made himself invisible to her eyes and slowly edged behind Hana. He took in her sweet aroma and ran his eyes down her back. He erection hardened in his pants when his eyes landed on her pert ass and he had restrain himself from squeezing it. He lifted a hand into the air and placed it on the small of her back.

Hana jumped in fright but he slid a hand around her waist and held her in place. "W-who are you?"

"Don't tell me you already forgot about me, Onee-chan," Naruto whispered as he started massaging her back. Hana started moaning out loud as he started gliding his calloused hands over her milky skin and pressed his digits against the sore muscles in her back.

Hana would usually fighting tooth and nail against any intruder but she could remember the feel of the hands on her body. She was craving this touch since the moment the blond-haired blue-eyed girl ran away from her that day.

"N-Natsumi?" Hana mumbled but any doubts about Naruto being a girl vanished from her mind when her back hit his firm chest and her ass fell on his stiff erection.

Naruto moved his hand from her waist to her breast while the other hand started kneading her her lean waist. "Try a little harder."

At the word 'harder', he took a hard, pink nipple between his index and middle fingers and pinched it hard. Hana screamed in pleasure and fell limply on his chest. She took a deep whiff of his scent and recognition entered her eyes. "Naruto?"

"Excellent," Naruto said as he pushed her onto the bathroom wall and started kissing her neck from behind. His hands slithered down her wet frame to land on her ass and he kneaded them in his palms. Hana started making little mewls of pleasure as he started scraping his teeth on her shoulders.

He held her hips in his hands and turned her around before pressing his lips against the bite marks on her shoulders. He started kissing his way up her neck and just as he was about to kiss her on the lips, she pushed him away roughly.

"I can't do this, Naruto," Hana stated firmly as she turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around her body.

His wet clothes stuck to his muscled frame, and the definition of his chest and abs was imprinted on his shirt. Hana's eyes lingered on his lean torso and the stiff erection bulging in his pants before she averted her eyes with a flush on her cheeks. Naruto meanwhile was frowning in puzzlement. "What? Why?"

"I said I don't want any relationship right now," Hana repeated as she glared at him. "I run a veterinary and I am preparing for Jonin exams. I don't have time to fool around with a boyfriend in the village."

"And you think I want a girlfriend?" Naruto rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I have S-ranked criminal after me. I don't want to put any girl's life at risk."

"T-then what's this?" she said hotly as she gestured at him.

Naruto took a deep breath before deflating like a hot air balloon. "...I am addicted to sex."

Hana blinked. "...what?"

"You know how animals go to heat once in a month?" Naruto said and Hana nodded in reply. "It's the same case with me...but I'm in heat every day of every month."

Hana gulped at the thought. "You mean...you have to do it everyday?"

"Hmm, something like that," Naruto answered. "I can control it for at most a week but more than that..."

Living with animals as companions, Hana knew what he was trying to imply. He might force himself on any girl around him. "So, you don't want a relationship...just..." She paused her words with an intense blush.

"Just steamy hot sex," Naruto completed her sentence with an amused smile.

Hana stared at her feet, with dirty thoughts running all over her mind. "I...I need some time to think about this."

"Sure," Naruto sighed.

Hana glanced at him, staring at his handsome face and the way his long, wet blond hair stuck to his face. He stopped wearing his forehead protector these days for some reason and his bangs fell down to his eyes, giving him a princely look. He lean body was packed with powerful muscles built for speed and his torso looked like it was cut from stone. He was definitely one of the hottest ninja in Konoha right now.

Naruto looked up in surprise as Hana started tiptoeing towards him sexily. "How about a simple kiss for now?"

"Hmm, I don't see us having sex now anyway," Naruto stated as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "With my rotten luck, your mom might walk in on us before I can even undress you."

"Don't worry," Hana said as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Mom and Kiba are out to buy supplies for our clan. They won't be coming back for another hour."

"Lucky me," Naruto captured her lips with his and deepened the kiss when she pressed her towel-clad body against his.

He led her out of the bathroom, kissing her all the way and slipped a hand into her towel when they reached the foot of her bed. Hana mumbled in protest against his kiss when his hand slipped down to her thighs but moaned in his mouth when he ran a finger down the inside of her thigh.

Suddenly, the door clicked open and Naruto sighed against her lips. He broke the kiss and mumbled without looking back. "It's your mother, isn't it?"

Hana nodded jerkily, fearing the wrath of her mother and stepped away from him. Naruto gathered up some courage and turned to face Tsume with a smile on his face. Sadly, his smile did nothing to abate her glare.

"Tsume-san! Did I tell you that you have a beautiful daughter?" If Tsume was glaring before, she was shooting fireballs with her eyes now. "I'll show myself out."

With that he disappeared just as he arrived; Through the window.

Kiba appeared a few minutes later to talk to his sister but paused when he sniffed the air. "Hey! Why does this room smell like Naruto?"


It was already evening by the time Naruto escaped the wrath of Tsume and he could be found jumping over the roof tops of Konoha. After a few minutes of roaming around aimlessly, he decided that he might as well meet Tsunade and talk about the state of Team 7. If he was lucky, he could even arrange some plans with Shizune for the night.

He found Tsunade sitting at her desk, looking bored out her mind. He tried to stalk over to her but her voice made him pause in his steps. "You are a decade too young to sneak up on me, brat."

"Want to make that a bet?" Naruto commented as he sat down in his usual chair. "I might sneak upon you when your are changing or when you are taking a bath...or even when you are pleasuring yourself."

"I don't pleasure myself," Tsunade grit out as she glared at him.

"Want my help, then?" Naruto wiggled his fingers deftly. "I'm really good with my fingers."

"You are worse than Jiraiya ever was, you know that?" Tsunade said as she rubbed her temples to alleviate the headache the brat was giving her.

"I aim to surpass the master, Baa-chan," Naruto said as he leaned back in his chair. "But that's not what I'm here for. What's going to happen to Team 7?"

"I am thinking of keeping it the same," Tsunade answered with a sigh. "But I have my hands tied in this matter. The elders are already cross with me for sending you on the training trip, so now they decide who gets to be on Team 7."

Danzo, then, Naruto thought in his mind. He was hearing the old coot's name a lot these days in spy circles; The darkness of shinobi, or whatever moniker they gave him. He figured that being on team 7 would give him a lot of leeway, what with a lazy teacher and uncaring teammate but it seems that Danzo had other ideas.

It might be tough to maintain and run his own plans when he had a spy looking over his shoulder at all times. If Danzo decided to take matters into his own hands, then Naruto might just have to do the same.


Author's Note: It's sad that Fanfiction is blocked in Indonesia and Malaysia. I see a lot of readers and writers from their countries. Anybody Indonesian and Malaysian here using VPN to access the site?

On the other hand, I'll be updating 'You're doing it wrong, Kaa-chan' tomorrow.

Don't Forget to Review.