Late Fall- Year Six
Gryffindor Commonroom
Lily
It was growing late; the sun had set and the sky was beginning to change from a purple hue, to the black of night. Lily could be outside at the moment, enjoying one of the last nights of crisp fall air before the storms of winter took over, with a handsome Ravenclaw who had nervously ask Lily to take a stroll with him after dinner. But Lily had declined; she had studying to do she told the Ravenclaw. And that was true. She did have studying to do, and a long essay due for Defense Against the Dark Arts in a few days. And, in fact, Lily had done some studying this evening, but she was quickly distracted.
The self-proclaimed marauders and Rosalin had decided to team up this evening in front of the fireplace to practice their Charms homework and to review the complex Transfiguration reading that Professor McGonagall had assigned. They had asked Lily to join them; they'd been inviting Lily to spend a large amount of time with them lately. Lily had eagerly accepted, while trying to look less than eager.
The actual studying had been done away with about an hour ago. Now, the members of their "study group" were spread out in the cozy armchairs, books stacked around them, completely forgotten. Currently, Lily was trying hard not to laugh as Sirius and James threw playful spells at one another; and certainly not the spells they were supposed to be practicing. James had the upper hand, since he had mastered nonverbal spells and was able to catch Sirius by surprise. Lily was having much more fun spending time with her friends than out for a walk.
Yes, Lily Evans now considered the four boys her friends. She couldn't remember how they had become actual friends. She couldn't even say if there was a moment that she had realized what they had become to her. They had simply assimilated themselves into her life; acting as though they had always been there. Sometimes it seemed like they had. She had always been on friendly terms with Remus; although that had more to do with making her nightly patrols as a prefect more tolerable than actually being interested in the boy as friend material. But Lily soon found herself feeling very fond of Remus as well as his friends.
Remus was the easy one. He was quiet and sweet and helpful, even if he had sat back all those years, turning a blind eyes to the antics of the Potter and Black duo. Lily found he was the only marauder with whom she could actually get homework done, although now that they were closer, they ended up going on rants about whatever they were reading, either ending in a huff at each other due to opposing views, or in fits of laughter when they finally realized whatever they were debating about was completely ridiculous.
Peter was easy to adapt to as well. Obviously the forth wheel of the group, Peter seemed eager to accept Lily as a friend, if it was only because the other boys were doing it. But Peter was lovely in his own way. Although not as talented as his other friends, Peter had a different take on things, often blurting out a purpose for a spell or a view on a wizard uprising that Lily had never considered herself. It didn't hurt that he was polite and sometimes seemed in awe when Lily flawlessly executed a spell, or better yet, a hex.
Sirius was probably the most difficult to accept into her small friendship circle. He was a brooding fellow and extremely distrustful. Under the light-hearted jabs, Lily could always sense a bit of unease and mistrust in his words. And she assumed he was not all that pleased about how Lily had treated James the entirety of their Hogwarts career. But Lily brushed that aside; it's not like James didn't deserve it. But over time, Lily could almost physically see Sirius relaxing around her as she became a regular in their group and more than once Sirius and nearly fallen onto the floor while laughing due to something Lily had said or a crude joke made under her breath.
And James...well, James was a different story. It was because of him that she had been adopted into the misfit group in the first place. She had once despised the very ground James walked on, but that hatred had been ebbing away as of late. She still thought he was a git sometimes but other times she felt...well, it was stupid really. Lily didn't even want to admit it. It couldn't really be a crush. She couldn't have a stupid, little crush on James Potter. It just wasn't possible. But he was a surprisingly nice friend. And as she watched James magically fly a crumpled piece of parchment at Peter's head in retaliation for a remark he had made, Lily tried to focus on how she had got here.
July- Summer Break
Evans' Residence
Lily
The summer had thus far been wrought with anguish for Lily. Summer break was always nerve wracking for her. She was always happy to see her father, who she adored and was very close to. But visiting home always meant living under the same roof with her sister for three months.
Lily and Petunia had always been close as children. Lily had a plethora of memories of the two of them playing on the nearby playground, catching butterflies and pushing one another on the swing-set. But it had all changed when Lily had received and owl and a representative from Hogwarts explaining to her that she was a witch. Petunia had been jealous of Lily, but over the years, the jealousy had turned to anger and, sometimes Lily thought, hatred.
Every summer and holiday break, Petunia spent her time ignoring Lily. When they were forced to spend time around each other, namely at mealtimes, Petunia stuck her nose in the air and acted as though Lily was a foul odor Petunia couldn't wait to get away from. Because of this, Lily didn't speak at meals, unless prompted to by her father. And when she did converse, she never brought up school or anything magic related. Even their father had learned not to discuss Lily's abilities near Petunia since it sent her into a ranting fit of hysteria.
At least Lily could get away from Petunia and visit her best friend, who lived a few blocks away in the poorer neighborhood. Lily and Severus would meet at their favorite park, sit beneath their favorite tree and waste away the day. Sometimes they would spend an entire afternoon discussing potions and how to alter them.
But this summer, Lily wasn't sitting beneath an old oak tree, soaking in the sun. She was shut away in her bedroom, reading through a potions textbook and lazily making notes in the margarine, trying to forget the acid in Severus' voice after he had chosen the Dark Arts over Lily.
And yet, that was not all that was plaguing Lily. The most unlikely of persons was on Lily's mind lately. Stupid, immature, James Potter. Much to Lily's annoyance, the messy-haired prat had commandeered Lily's thoughts as of late and no amount of textbook reading or her father's favorite sitcoms could banish the boy from her mind. Lily found herself sickeningly overcome with guilt.
She replayed her last evening at Hogwarts over and over again. She hadn't asked James for his assistance. She wasn't even sure how James had known she was in the dungeons that night. Maybe he had followed her hidden beneath that stupid cloak of his. And no matter how stalkerish that was of him, Lily was filled to the brim with guilt.
Lily hated to admit when she needed help, or when she was doing something stupid. So naturally she despised when anyone pointed it out to her. And James Potter had certainly done that. She had needed help that night and she was being stupid and chalking it up to her house's prized bravery. James had offered the help she needed that night, or more so forced his help on her. And she had treated him poorly for said assistance. It had been pretty egotistical of her, and Lily always thought she was above that.
But that wasn't all Lily felt guilty for. Lily blamed James for the way Severus had treated her. If he hadn't have bullied Severus, he wouldn't have lashed out at her. He wouldn't have said those hurtful words. She'd be at the park right now, not trying to use books to cure her loneliness.
The rational part of Lily told her this wasn't the case. Severus had been drifting away for awhile and delving deeper into the Dark Arts. James hadn't forced Severus to say those words, it was the ideology that had been brewing in him for some time. All James had really done, aside from being a total prat, was force Severus to reveal who he really was.
Lily wasn't about to thank Potter, but she thought maybe she should apologize. But the idea of apologizing to Potter's face made her feel nauseous. And there was the problem.
Lily sighed aloud, putting aside the book she'd been reading. She'd been rereading the last sentence repeatedly anyway. Her mind ran through her options, making Lily scowl at the lack of them, and she got up from the bed, She took a seat behind the old, battered desk in her room.
"I can't believe I'm even thinking about doing this," Lily muttered to herself, reaching for a piece of parchment and an intact quill. She sighed heavily, as though it was physically paining her, and dipped the quill in ink.
Potter,
With a huff of frustration, Lily tossed aside her now ruined parchment and grabbed a new piece.
James,
I hope this letter finds you well. I'm sure you're enjoying your break away from school work; I know I am.
Lily paused, frowning as she read what she had written. This was stupid; writing a letter to a boy she hated. And she still didn't plan to apologize exactly. She thought maybe if she could just show politeness that would smooth everything over. But why did it matter? She didn't want to be friends with him anyway.
She sighed and dropped her quill. Pushing out her chair, she got to her feet and returned to her bed. She laid down, grabbing the book she'd just abandoned. But not matter how hard she tried to focus on the words, she could not take in what she was reading.
When the words began to blur together, Lily gave up with a loud groan of frustration. She tossed the book to the side without much care, something she'd never done in her life. She felt like she was suffocating beneath the weight of her raging emotions. Lily had never had this problem; she'd always been more logical, and she was at the end of her rope.
Deciding the irrational guilt over James would be one less thing she had to worry about, Lily got up and sat down at her desk once more. She was determined. All she had to do was write a weirdly nice letter and she wouldn't have to worry about stupid James Potter anymore. She could do this.
James,
I hope this letter finds you well. I'm sure you're enjoying your break away from school work; I know I am. I am anxiously awaiting the results of my OWLs, as I'm sure everyone is.
Please refrain from planning any pranks for the coming school year. We have a lot more course work this coming year and I can't run around trying to catch you. Speaking of Prefect duties, please relay to Remus that we have to meet in the Prefects compartment on the train, as per usual.
Have a delightful rest of your summer,
Lily
Lily set down her quill with a sigh, her eyes quickly scanning the brief letter. It was alright, she decided. There was no apology written in there, just a classmate wishing another classmate a delightful break. This should do the job in smoothing things over, at least she hoped. She just wanted in to be enough that they wouldn't end up in a duel in the corridors. She thought she'd achieved that.
With a nod of encouragement to herself, Lily rolled up the parchment and went in search of her owl, who was not in her cage. She was most likely sitting on the window sill in the kitchen, begging her father for scraps.
When Lily had first learned of the pets you could bring to Hogwarts, she thought an owl was an odd choice of animal. But she quickly learned over the summer before she departed for her first year, that owls were the wizarding world's main source of communication. She had figured having her own would make it easier to communicate with any friends she would make at her new school. So on her first trip to Diagon Alley, her father had purchased her an owl of her own, and Demelza had been her faithful companion ever since.
Lily did in fact find Demelza at the kitchen window, pecking at last night's leftovers. After stroking her feathers, Lily tied her short letter to her leg. She didn't know where James lived, but knowing that owls had a keen sense of direction and a strange knowledge of where to find people, Lily told her cream-colored owl to fly to the Potter residence. Demelza hooted softly before hopping out of the window and soaring out of sight.
Lily sighed, feeling slightly less tense than she had for the majority of her break. At least that was one problem taken care of. However James interpreted the letter was up to him and frankly, Lily didn't care. As Petunia walked through the front door of their childhood home, Lily remembered she had bigger problems to deal with.
September 1- Year Six
Hogwart's Express
Lily
The prefect meeting was over and the students were free to return to their compartments. Lily had stored her trunk with Rosalin and Alice and was hoping she could get back to their compartment before the snack trolley came by. Lily had only eaten a few bites of toast this morning before she had to rush to the train station and she could feel the rumbles of hunger in her stomach. As Lily was contemplating how many cauldron cakes she could buy, Remus' voice cut through her thoughts.
"How did you do on your OWLs?"
Lily glanced to Remus, who was walking down the aisle beside her. The maruader's usual compartment was closer to them at the moment than hers was and would be coming up shortly so Lily was a little surprised Remus decided to initiate conversation. She was usually the one to begin a conversation. But Lily shrugged it off and answered. "Oh I did pretty well, aside from Divination. But that subject is complete nonsense anyway."
Remus agreed and appeared as though he was about to say more when something caught their eye. Remus' compartment was just a few feet ahead, but Remus would have kept talking up until he was walking through the sliding door. But the door was already open, and Rosalin was leaning against the door frame, chatting with the boys inside.
Lily felt a slight queasiness roll through her belly. Rosalin was essentially Lily's only close friend now that Severus was gone. And Rosalin certainly knew of the unease between Lily and the boys. After all, it had been Rosalin who had been stuck with the task of consoling Lily after the incident at the lake.
Lily couldn't very well walk past Rosalin to their compartment, Rosalin would certainly see her and Lily wanted to avoid a scene, no matter how small, in front of the boys at all costs. Lily was going to have to approach Rosalin, which meant she'd be walking up to the last boys she wanted to see right now. Even Remus seemed to sense her unease. He frowned at Lily for a moment before taking the lead and strolling over to the open doorway.
"Hello, Rosain. Have a nice break?" Remus asked politely as he neared. Rosain glanced up at his arrival, smiled and slid aside so Remus could enter. As she did so, Rosalin peered over and spotted Lily. Lily desperately tried to make hand movements to tell Rosalin she wanted to get by without incident, but either Rosalin didn't understand her, or she was being a sneaky backstabber. "Lily! There you are!"
Lily cringed, but knew she was officially outed. Sulking, Lily walked over towards Rosalin, barely making herself visible in the doorway.
"I just popped by to see if you were with the boys," Rosalin explained.
Lily felt her eyebrows raised. Why in the world would Rosalin look for her here of all places? Was she telling the truth or was she up to something devious? Sirius seemed to share her skepticism.
"Sorry, Rosalin, this is a fun compartment. Evans are not permitted."
Lily was just able to see each boy in the compartment. Sirius sat next to James and Remus and Peter sat opposite of them. Sirius' tone had sounded light and joking, but upon inspection, Lily noticed Sirius was frowning and his arms were crossed over his chest. And yet, he didn't look angered, not even disgruntled. That seemed a bit odd to Lily.
"Oh Lily's lots of fun!" Rosalin insisted, waving a hand nonchalantly. "You just haven't seen her in her zone."
"What zone?" a confused Lily finally piped up before realizing she had just ruined her plan of being as inconspicuous as possible.
"Yes, Rosalin, tell us, what zone?" Sirius prodded with a sly smile.
Rosalin replied with a sly smile of her own. "Oh, it's girl stuff, you wouldn't be interested."
But by the look on the boys' faces, Rosalin had just made them very interested. Lily had to suppress a groan. Like these four troublemakers needed any more ways to antagonize her.
"Come in here and close the door; you're letting a draft in. I'll permit Evans inside just this once," Sirius said.
Lily opened her mouth to protest but Rosalin was faster. She grabbed Lily wrist, practically threw her inside, stood in front of the door to block Lily's escape and gently shut the door behind them. All of a sudden, Lily was standing before the four marauders, her back to her only exited that was guarded by her supposed friend. She still wasn't sure if Rosalin was doing this on purpose, but the whole thing seemed very odd. But Lily had bigger problems. Like the fact that she was standing where she was standing.
"Evans, lovely to see you," Sirius greeted with mock manners. "How are things?"
"Err..." Lily knew she sounded dumb. She was being dumb. Why was she so uncomfortable to be around these four? After all, she hadn't done anything wrong. Her reaction to Potter at the lake was entirely justified. And she had sent James a letter to "apologize" about her behavior their last night at Hogwarts. Did the other boys know about the letter? Did they even know about what happened? They weren't with James as backup after all. But she had to imagined James must have mentioned something after the fact.
Lily tried to calm herself. She had done nothing wrong, the air had been cleared. Sure, Lily still thought the four boys before her were complete bigots, but she wasn't about to start any trouble. Maybe they could just start an era of ignoring each other until the end of their time at Hogwarts. So Lily shoved down the irrational unease she was feeling and decided to actually answer, as Sirius was slowing arching an eyebrow higher and higher at her lack of communication skills.
"Oh um, you know. Sad break is over but ready to be able to use my wand again."
Lily expected some japes about her being a class pet or something of the like, but none came. Instead the boys nodded, almost like they understood. Wait...did they understand? Lily suddenly felt very stupid. Of course they would understand. Nobody liked schoolwork, but everyone enjoyed using magic. They were all still underage at the moment, so no one could use magic at home.
"I'm looking forward to dinner," Peter piped up, a giddy look on his face which caused the other three boys to laugh.
"I agree, Peter," Rosalin said from behind Lily. "I'm already feeling hungry."
"Me too," Lily said as she turned to face Rosalin. She raised her eyebrows in hopes that Rosalin would understand the deeper meaning behind her next words. "I was hoping to catch the snack trolley."
James glanced to a watch on his wrist, speaking before Rosalin could say anything. "You probably missed it. She usually starts in the back around lunch time and it's close to one so she's probably closer to us now. You guys can just stay here until she comes."
Lily was at a loss for words. What was going on here? She glanced at James but his face remained neutral. Did he understand the meaning of her letter? Maybe he was also looking for a truce where his friends and her could go about their lives without acknowledging one another. But then, why was he telling them they could stay? Was it just friendliness? Was James Potter even friendly?
While Lily was trying to unravel the complexity to a simple gesture, Rosalin pounced on the idea of spending more time with the boys. Since there were only four seat in a compartment, James and Sirius moved down to the floor beside Remus' and Peter's legs, offering their seats to Lily and Rosalin. Without much to do but accept the seat, Lily hesitantly sat down next to Rosalin, who had nearly scrambled for the seat across from Sirius.
The conversation seemed to flow among the sixth years as they waited for the trolley to arrive. Lily didn't speak much, but she couldn't help but laugh at some of the exchanges, particularly between Peter and Rosalin, Rosalin and Sirius, and Sirius and James. Lily tried to stifle the giggles as much as possible though. By the time the snack trolley came by, Lily was feeling comfortable in her seat and couldn't remember why she had been so insistent on getting back to her compartment in the first place. Sure, she was still annoyed with the boys, but just for once it was nice to sit back and not worry, not want to rip out Potter's eyeballs, and, although Lily hadn't even noticed it, she was, for once, not thinking of Severus. And for once, she did notice, she was having carefree fun.
Late Fall- Year Six
Gryffindor Commonroom
Lily
The rowdiness had died down as the sky got darker. Now the six students were lounging in their seats, the ones who were in chairs, drowsiness pulling at them as their group conversation lazily carried on.
"Is everyone going home for the holiday?" Rosalin asked, curled in the armchair beside Lily.
Everyone said they were, aside from Sirius who mumbled sleepily as he was sprawled out on the floor that he would, as usual, be staying at the Potter home. Lily had nodded but said nothing. This was the first year she was not looking forward to going home for Christmas. Her sister was particularly nasty during the holiday, what with her impossible ideals, and her rather stiff boyfriend Vernon would be joining this year. It was all Lily could do to not fall asleep when he was droning on about his father's company while Petunia stared at him adoringly.
Luckily for Lily, since Severus lived nearby, she spent quite a bit of time with him. She often got most of her homework out of the way long before school started again because she and Severus would hole up in her bedroom, pouring over books. But she didn't have Severus this year and Lily was feeling a lot of dread thinking about all of the quality time she was going to have to spend in her sister's presence.
James was sitting on the floor, his back against her chair. As though sensing Lily's discomfort, or maybe due to the lack of a verbal answer from her, he peered up at her. "What about you, Lily?"
Lily forced a smile. "Oh, yeah, I'll be going home."
This time James did seem to genuinely sense her distress. "Well you know, Sirius can be such a bore sometimes. You should come visit!"
There was a tired, half-hearted objection from Sirius about his complete lack of boringness, but James paid him no mind. Lily smiled down at James. She already knew she wasn't going to visit. Her father had been in poor health lately and Lily was growing worried. She wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, even if it meant dealing with her sister. But she appreciated the gesture nonetheless.
"We'll see," she said. "Thanks, James."
James shrugged, turning his head back and reaching a foot out to nudge Sirius who seemed to have fallen asleep. "What are friends for?"
Author's Notes:
So I pretty much wrote this all in one sitting, which is pretty amazing considering my very long writer's block stretch. So I'm pleased! It also helped that my infant just took literally the longest nap of her life, allowing me to sit down in one sitting and crank this out.
As you can see, this chapter's theme was how the friendship grew between the marauders and Lily. I didn't go completely in depth, because this chapter could get super long (and I also didn't have any other ideas). This story isn't supposed to have very long chapters, I don't really think it could sustain itself that way with the way it's written. But I hoped you liked it anyway!
