Well, sorry it's so late. I could make loads of excuses (and they're all totally valid!) but who the hell cares! This has taken on a bit of a life of its own so there will be more to come ... eventually! I don't own anything , obviously.
XXX
"I swear to God Karin, if you don't shut the fuck up I'm gonna smack the shit out of you!"
"Fuck you Suigetsu! I don't know why Sasuke-kun puts up with you!"
"Puts up with me? I think you need to take a fucking step back and actually look at yourself, you stupid bitch!"
Juugo pressed his fingers together and gave his leader a rather worried look. Even though Sasuke was walking several feet in front of them he could almost see the vein sticking out of his head from here. Karin and Suigetsu had been arguing for at least the last mile and a half despite their leader's sky-rocketing blood pressure. Sasuke had been moodier than usual recently due to the lack of any news on the whereabouts of his brother and had been driving them extremely hard. Suigetsu had of course suggested that he just needed laid and privately Juugo agreed with him. Just so long as he didn't sleep with Karin, she was insufferable enough as it was.
Sasuke suddenly stopped in the middle of the path, his back ramrod straight. Juugo flinched, bracing himself to leap out of the way of any attacks their leader might direct at the arguing pair. The arguing pair who weren't bright enough to notice he'd stopped and may be planning to murder them in a fit of rage. However it wasn't Karin and Suigetsu that the Uchiha was focussed on but the sound of voices from up ahead. It was the middle of the night in what could generously be described as a shitty part of the country so there was a good chance that whoever owned the voices were up to no good. Of course Team Hebi's idea of what was 'no good' was different to most but still, they might have to fight. Actually Juugo hoped they would, Sasuke could take out his anger on their opponents rather than his, well friends was a stretch, but certainly team-mates.
Unfortunately for the large man the voices turned out to belong to three sound ninjas. Well two, as one was lying completely unconscious while his friends bickered about how best to treat his multiple injuries. It was an understatement to say that Sasuke was well-known among sound ninjas and so when he approached, vein still visible even though Karin and Suigetsu had shut up, the colour drained from their faces so fast Juugo thought they might faint. Things didn't get any better for them when he came over, he would have towered over them had they been standing but kneeling as they were he may as well have been a giant. Juugo was no expert but even he could tell that the bandages they'd been applying round their leader's broken ribs were far too tight and while Sasuke got their attention he knelt down and began trying to fix it.
Things had really gone from bad to worse for the sound ninjas. Not only had they been beaten up by a deceptively slender girl and her mad suitor but now they were facing the Uchiha Sasuke and his team with their most skilled member unconscious. There were few times when having a crushed arm and smashed torso was preferable to the present situation but both couldn't help feeling incredibly jealous of their leader before all room for feeling was taken up by fear.
Sasuke looked over the two frightened men, only enjoying their reactions a little. Karin and Suigetsu had finally shut up and he could hear himself think again. These three must have run into someone reasonably powerful as not only they totally disabled the obvious leader but had scared the other two into not joining in the fray. The idea of it being his brother was remote, Itachi would never do something as lowbrow as give a physical beating unless his opponent was dangerous. Might have been Kisame though, there was nothing the huge shark-man enjoyed more than beating the shit out of people who annoyed him. And frankly they were starting to annoy Sasuke, he had asked who had done this at least twenty seconds ago and they hadn't pulled themselves together enough to answer. Hoping to hear something about the infamous mist-nin but expecting to hear some local thug he was not at all prepared for what he heard.
"Well," the ninja swallowed down a huge terror lump in his throat. "There was this pink-haired chick..."
Sasuke, who had been assessing the road ahead, snapped his head round so fast the silent clearing heard the vertebrae in his neck click. The rest of his team instantly snapped to attention, wondering what the hell had set him off. Especially Karin as it seemed to be about another girl.
The sound-nin figured he'd better continue, "And leader liked the look of her so he tries to grab her but she just ..." He trailed off as he remembered the unimpressed look on her face as she ruined leader's arm. He gestured at the prone body and drew Sasuke's attention to the limb, lying at a funny angle and painful even to look at.
Juugu looked rather impressed. "Did she do all this too?" he waved his hands over the ribs he was rebinding.
Sasuke was incredibly interested in the answer. The Sakura he knew didn't like hurting people who didn't deserve it. She was a real Konoha bleeding heart of the sort completely absent from Sound. She, Naruto and Kakashi had finally stopped following him around trying to get him to come home after around the fifth time he tried to kill them. He had barely heard anything of them in over a year, except from the odd trickle down pieces of information that said Naruto would be the next Hokage, Sakura was a well-known medic and Kakashi had seen every screening of the latest Icha Icha movie for three days in a row over in Tea Country. To be honest he was rather relieved but at the same time there was a niggling feeling of resentment that they were getting on with their lives while he certainly was not.
"No ... there was this mental guy, silver hair and fucking insane grin, man. Appeared out of fucking nowhere and wrecked leader's shit up."
"Hidan" breathed Sasuke. He'd heard rumours about the priest: that he couldn't be killed and sacrificed people to a bad-ass god but he didn't know how much of that was bullshit. And why was he talking to Sakura? "What was he doing?"
"Trying to get in the girl's knickers." The other nin had finally found his voice.
Karin scoffed. As far as she was concerned the only girl men should want to get into the knickers of was herself. Suigetsu rolled his eyes hard enough to see the inside of his head.
Juugo stood up and announced he was finished while Sasuke finished grilling them about where the bar was. As soon as they had finished speaking Sasuke was off, leaving the rest of his team in the dust as he raced off hoping to find a lead on his brother and also why Hidan wanted to shag his old team-mate. He left so quickly he completely missed the figure blended into the tree at the side of the road who had heard everything and slipped away to inform the rest of the Akatsuki.
XXXXX
Sakura could feel the artist almost vibrating with excitement at being face to face with the inferior Uchiha as Sasuke was known around the organisation. Hidan was grinning the ridiculous grin that Sakura assumed was linked to hurting people and/or trying to seduce her. In fact all of the Akatsuki seemed to be enjoying themselves while Sasuke looked horrified, Juugo and Suigetsu looked wary and Karin looked bored.
The silence was infinitely more tense than the one in the bar a few hours previously. Sakura wilted slightly, had that only been a few hours? It felt like an ice age ago. Eventually Itachi broke the tense standoff by walking to the centre of the group and addressing his brother in a very polite manner.
"Good morning, Sasuke-kun. What brings you here?"
Sakura looked at him funny, was this always how battles to the death started? Kisame was clearly pressing his lips together to stop himself from smirking so maybe Itachi was acting dumb on purpose. If there was something people expected of Itachi it was that he was super clever. Deidara just rolled his eyes, further confirming her suspicions.
Sasuke couldn't quite force his face to stop with the look of horror it had adopted. He was totally torn, question his old team-mate who he could admit didn't look thrilled to be where she was or try to kill his brother when he was backed up by another five S-Class criminals. And maybe Sakura, he would have to find out. God he was going in circles.
Itachi regarded the internal battle going on inside his little brother and rather wished that he wasn't so directly related to someone who thought a shirt without a front was a good fashion idea. He could just feel Deidara's smirk, especially when Sasuke didn't seem capable of closing his mouth all the way.
Hidan just wanted to get killing, that red-haired bitch had the nerve to eye him up! Contrary to popular belief Hidan didn't fuck anything that moved. He actually had rather high standards that meant he never did it with skanks. Now Sakura on the other hand... Kakazu elbowed the priest in the stomach when he realised Hidan was staring at Sakura with something of a rapist-like expression and it was freaking her out.
Itachi reached up to brush some imaginary lint off his shoulder while he waited for Sasuke to pull himself together. Sakura seemed to be coping well with this rather difficult situation. Having her here seemed to be causing his little brother the expected amount of discomfort and it was making Hidan far less obnoxious than usual as he tried to impress her. If it weren't for the fact she wouldn't leave Konoha he would consider the idea of keeping her around. Might lower their expenses if Kakazu could stop destroying things to clear his anger at the priest.
His musings were cut short when his brother finally managed to form some words.
"What!"
Well ok, only one word, but Itachi felt it was progress none the less. Sasuke was flicking his eyes rapidly between Itachi and Sakura, causing a twitch to develop in his forehead.
"What is the matter, Sasuke-kun?"
Sasuke gritted his teeth. He hated it when his brother played dumb. Somehow it managed to make everyone else look stupid instead of him.
"What are you doing with her?" Sasuke's tone did nothing to help soothe Sakura's ruffled feathers and she began glaring at him.
Itachi slowly turned to look over the group behind him before turning back to Sasuke with a completely innocent expression. "You mean Sakura?"
Sasuke willed away the aneurism building in his head and counted to five. "Yes."
"Well Sakura, why don't you tell him?"
"Tell him what? We had the shitty bad luck to be at the same place at the same time!"
"I wouldn't call it bad luck..." Hidan smiled brightly but only received exasperated noises in return.
"Where's the dobe? Kakashi?" Sasuke wondered if anything had happened to them, judging by Hidan's leering he wouldn't be surprised if he'd got rid of them to get to Sakura.
"Dunno, I was on a solo mission," Sakura let a trickle of pride enter her voice.
"Doing what?"
"Classified, sorry."
"Something stupid then," Sasuke curled his lip; Konoha wouldn't send Sakura on something important.
"Classified means classified, dickhead! If I can't even tell Naruto I sure as hell can't tell traitors or insane criminals." Sasuke couldn't keep the shock off his face when she swore at him causing the Akatsuki to smirk at him in an irritating fashion.
"Goddamn bitch, call him a dickhead again..."
"We're not insane, yeah," Deidara sounded quite affronted.
Sakura gave him a very pointed look, before looking at his explosive clay that had levelled many a village. Deidara's eyebrows shot into his hair: that was art!
"So why are you with them?" Juugo interrupted pleasantly, the girl reminded him of someone but he couldn't think who.
"When I figure that out, I'll let you know."
"It's because –"
"Goddamnit Hidan, will you just shut the hell up!" Kakazu thought Hidan was fucking lucky that he was at the other side of the clearing.
Hidan was starting to look murderous so Itachi felt it was better to direct everyone's attention back to the real matter at hand. "So I suppose you're here to kill me little brother?"
Finally! Sasuke thought privately, this situation was too surreal; it was nice to back to what he knew. He dropped into a fighting crouch, pulling out his sword and pumping chakra to his sharingan. Sakura tensed up, readying her own chakra in case she was caught in the crossfire.
Suigetsu stepped forward, an irritating grin spreading over his face. "I'll be taking that sword today Kisame..." He let the threat hang in the air supposing it made him appear more intimidating. He was used to the bored look that passed over the huge man's face but his ego was not at all prepared for the pretty medic to look between them and give him a 'what the fuck?' look. Kisame smiled indulgently down at Sakura, she was definitely good for a huge blue shark man's self esteem.
Juugo would much rather not be involved, perhaps he could sit this one out. Judging by the weary expression on the face of the bounty hunter and the plant-man maybe they could work something out while everyone else tried to kill each other. Sadly the same couldn't be said for the mad priest who was obviously hoping for either Karin or himself to say something to start a fight.
Karin was too busy watching Sasuke, still crouched in front of his standing brother as they sized one another up. She had never actually seen Itachi in person but no one could beat her Sasuke-kun. Relaxing slightly she looked the silver haired hot stuff, not as good as Sasuke or his good looking brother obviously but hot none the less. Unfortunately he seemed far more interested in this Sakura girl who Sasuke seemed to know. Interested in a frighteningly obsessed kind of way, but interested none the less.
Sasuke was pacing around his brother, trying to identify an opening and growling obscenities under his breath. Itachi was investigating a bug that had landed on his sleeve. Suigetsu was jumping around Kisame, trying to confuse him with his quick movements. Kisame was trying to get at an itch on his back. As the other two members of Sasuke's team didn't seem to be moving Deidara motioned to Sakura that they should join Zetsu at the edge of the clearing. When Sakura grinned and nodded Hidan went to hit the artist over the head. A little scuffling, soon joined by the bounty hunter, saw them reach Zetsu who had kindly swept the wet leaves off the dead branch he was perched on. Juugo watched this with interest whereas Karin's attention had been thoroughly captured by Sasuke crouching right in front of her which had pulled his trousers tight over his ass.
Now that they didn't have to worry so much about friendly fire (well, about not hitting Sakura) Itachi and Kisame finally straightened up to take the match seriously. Sasuke and Suigetsu stopped moving to try and get a better reading of what their opponents were thinking. Kisame still hadn't stopped smirking, and hadn't even taken Samehada from where it was resting on his shoulder. Itachi was staring into space again.
The tense moment (the millionth of the night, Sakura estimated) was ruined once again by Hidan.
"7000¥ on Kisame!"
"10000¥!" Kakazu said, having suddenly forgotten his irritation with the priest when the chance to part him from his money came up.
"10000¥ for me too!" Deidara pulled out a wad of money from the interior of his clay bag.
"It's hardly betting if we all think the same thing!" Sakura laughed.
"You think Kisame's definitely gonna come out on top, yeah?"
"Come on, look at that guy, he's like Kisame's dorky little brother."
"He's scrawny, not at all tasty."
"...That too."
"As much as it fucking pains me to say this, seriously, I'm putting my money on red-eyes senior too." Hidan had no worries about revealing that he kept his money in the handle of his scythe, quite a lot of it too, Sakura noticed.
"I have noticed some minor improvements in Sasuke's skills." Zetsu's white side answered as the black side was too busy mentally separating Suigetsu's body into the tasty and not tasty.
"Bet he still sucks, yeah."
Sakura giggled and found herself wishing that she'd brought more money so she could join in. Unfortunately payday was only when she got back to Konoha, assuming that Hidan, currently sliding his arm round her shoulders, let her go. Deidara pouted slightly when he noticed that Sakura rolled her eyes at the oldest move in the book but made no effort to remove the Jashinist's arm.
They were so caught up in debating the money difference between dismemberment and merely maiming of Sasuke and Suigetsu they didn't notice that the four fighters were staring at them until Kisame coughed loudly.
"What? How come that little shit isn't it pieces yet, Gills? I got money riding on this!"
Sasuke was back to looking horrified as Sakura casually bantered about how badly Itachi was going to beat him. Whatever happened to the girl who thought he was the best thing since sliced bread? Suigestu was starting to sulk that no one wanted to bet on him. Juugo was trying to work out how much he could get if he was to win any of these bets. Travelling with Sasuke didn't leave much time for luxuries; maybe he could get some actual food rather than trail-mix?
Kisame rolled his eyes and took advantage of Suigetsu's inattention by bashing him in the head hard enough to knock him out. Sasuke just turned his head and watched as his comrade fell down on the spot. Karin and Juugo felt their jaws drop open as Kisame inspected his handy-work by rolling over the younger man with his foot. Sakura couldn't help it, she could blame lack of sleep and fear but she was having a great time, she hooted along with her two handsome companions and laughed aloud at the look on Sasuke's face. Kisame smirked smugly, that little son of a bitch was going to have one hell of a headache in the morning. Zetsu and Kakazu were smirking also but managing not to break out into laughter and shouting like their younger friends.
"Fuck YEAH Kisame! You show that little shit!" Hidan was taking advantage of the excitement to pull Sakura closer to him, just resisting the urge to smell her hair again.
"Guess we all win then, yeah?" Deidara had also taken advantage of the excitement to cover Sakura's hand with his.
Itachi's expression barely changed but it was plain to see the amusement at his little brother's predicament on his face. Keeping an eye on Sasuke he turned to look at the other members of his brother's little group. Still-slack jawed; no wonder they followed his ridiculous otouto around. Unfortunately Sasuke seemed rather quiet. This was not a good sign as usually he was mouthing off about murdering him and revenge and so on and so forth. Silence meant he was plotting. Sure his plots never got much further than the aforementioned revenge business and occasionally running off to insane paedophiles but they could still be annoying.
Sasuke was plotting and his plot was to hurt Sakura in the hope it would shake his brother up enough to fight. Something in his long-buried consciousness told him not to, that she had always had faith in him, etc etc but he was excellent at ignoring sound advice. However as he leaped towards her, sword drawn, he was not expecting what happened.
Sakura saw his movement out of the corner of her eye as she faced Hidan and she reacted purely on instinct. Her hand came out of Deidara's, chakra gathered in her fist, and she punched the former love of her life right in the face. With so much power behind it he flew backwards through the trees, crashing into anything in his path and causing a huge amount of destruction.
There was another, rather longer, awkward silence as all heads turned very slowly from where Sasuke had disappeared to her. Sakura bit her lip and avoided Itachi's eyes, if what Kisame had said was true he would surely be pissed that she had just fucked Sasuke's shit up.
Deidara was in love. He'd never seen anything like this woman! Such power! No wonder Sasori had bought it!
Hidan had descended into a lust induced semi-coma.
Kisame, Kakazu and Zetsu were all of a sudden very thankful they hadn't done anything to piss Sakura off in the time she'd been with them.
Itachi made the decision that she was going to be brought back to the Akatsuki, trifling things like village loyalty be damned. For the first time in a long time he felt like cursing. Holy Shit.
"Oh God, I didn't ... I mean he was coming and ..." Sakura sounded a little panicked, not noticing how the amount of respect the Akatsuki had for her had just sky-rocketed.
"Goddamn ... just ... Goddamn ..." Hidan couldn't even form full sentences, his brain was too busy figuring out how to get her to marry him, or fuck him to death, whichever she was most up for.
"Fucking hell, pinky, remind me not to meet you on a dark night!" Kisame started laughing, his deep bass laugh soothing her slightly.
Sakura wrung her hands, still refusing to look at the older Uchiha, "do you think he'll be ok?"
"Who the fuck cares, yeah? That was the best thing I've ever fucking seen!" Deidara had grabbed her wrist, a little shy of her actual hand now he'd seen what it was capable of.
Karin had fainted clean away after seeing Sasuke dispatched so easily. Juugo had unfortunately been too preoccupied to catch her. Suddenly he was the only conscious one in a group of the deadliest people on earth. Gulping slightly he bowed, especially to Sakura, and gathering up his two closest team-mates he ran off in the direction Sasuke had disappeared. The Akatsuki barely noticed him go.
"Sakura." Itachi's voice was low and she winced. "You won't be going back to your village."
Sakura jumped up, shrugging off Hidan's arm and Deidara's grip much to their disappointment.
"What? Why?"
"We're going to keep you." Itachi smiled pleasantly, as if this was the most natural thing in the world.
"FUCK YEAH!" For once Hidan and Deidara agreed, loudly, on something before glaring at each other like riled tom cats.
Sakura's legs trembled and she had to sit down all of a sudden.
"What?"
XXX
R/R
